Imprisoned and let go

People always understand something at the moment of death.For example, what you really want, maybe what you should cherish.So Ye Lei died.

Blood spread on the blue bed sheet, and gushed out from Ye Lei's thigh arteries.But he doesn't care.He was not a person who cared about life and death.He just wanted to understand the meaning of his life through this tragic death.At the moment of dying, Ye Lei saw all kinds of distorted animals rushing towards him in the air.He opened his eyes wide and shouted "Mom! Mom" ​​in a sharp and rapid voice.That is the initial security and dependence on the mother.Darkness strikes, the meaning of life, the meaning of being alive.The moment death strikes.Ye Lei's thoughts went blank.Even to the point of death, I can't figure out why people are alive.

Who knows, maybe living is the greatest meaning, isn't it?

Ye Lei knew Zhang Yan in his first year of freshman year. Freshmen always need guidance from various colleges.Zhang Yan appeared in front of him at that moment.There isn't as much romance in the movie.Lost the late music join.Reality is often calm and overwhelming.

People who know Ye Lei, the most evaluation is quiet.It's like the younger brother next door is white and clean, reading and studying quietly.But Zhang Yan is the great opposite.He is tall and enthusiastic, and never does anything he is not sure of.Whether it was freshman year, I started a business with my classmates and opened a small restaurant in the rented house of the school.Or later opened a cooperative.Established an IT company.He lived like a sun, eagerly burning everyone around him.At the same time, it also burned Ye Lei.

Zhang Yan is a gay, a man and a woman can be gay.Sometimes Ye Lei hates him so much and thinks, if Zhang Yan didn't provoke him back then.Maybe get married and have kids.Instead of having nothing, there is only endless waiting, forgiveness, and then endless hatred and waiting.Often when Zhang Yan came back to spend the night, Ye Lei would stand by the bed and watch him quietly, wondering if there was any way to die so that they could end all this.This wrong should not have started everything.

But Ye Lei loves him, that person has appeared in his life countless times, and has given nourishment to his peaceful life countless times.Ye Lei knew that he was a useless person. From the day he met Zhang Yan, his life was completely ruined.

If he could do it all over again, he would never fall in love with Zhang Yan again, and he would not believe the endless and repeated lies he described.

Goodbye Zhang Yan.

From September [-]st to [-]rd, new students start school.It is the season of midsummer.However, it was raining heavily in a small city in Jilin, Northeast China.The temperature of five or six degrees mixed with the cold wind at night made Ye Lei tremble.

"Leilei, come here and study hard. If you don't study, you won't have a big future." Ye Lei's mother was still wearing a summer dress, and the cold wind hit her body and involuntarily tightened her clothes. "Understood, Mom." Ye Lei comforted his mother, and his father was in the front seat of the taxi.There has been silence between them.This relationship lasted 20 years.The city is undergoing large-scale road construction, and taxis are driving hard on the bumpy road.Ye Lei looked up at the bleak scene outside the car window.A dilapidated and depressed city scene appeared before his eyes.Ye Lei couldn't restrain the sadness in his heart.All these years of hard work.hehe

On September [-]st, Ye Lei and his parents met Zhang Yan for the first time at the reception desk for freshmen at the gate of xx Teachers College.At that moment, he never thought that his life would never be separated from this man.

"Zhang Yan, help them lead the way. Please." Ye Lei watched the senior sister from his same college kiss Zhang Yan, and begged him to help him lead the way.Behind him, Ye Lei's parents looked away in embarrassment. "Let's go, classmate." Zhang Yan lifted the luggage in Ye Lei's hand.The other two seniors who led the way also mentioned the suitcase in the hands of Ye Lei's parents.Let's go to the second apartment together.

"You can ask me if you have anything in the future. I am Zhang Yan from the Physical Education Institute. Our school is very good, and parents can rest assured when you come here. You can go around and find out." The tense atmosphere was in the active relationship between Zhang Yan and the other two students. Next, it was dismissed immediately.After packing up, my parents left.Ye Lei ordered fried rice with braised pork in the cafeteria, which was the first meal he ate in this school.He remembered very clearly.

Wherever there are people, there are fights, even if it is a small school.Military training immediately took over Ye Lei's life.What's more, their instructors and seniors can't wait to get a good ranking in military training.I woke up at five o'clock in the morning, not daring to destroy the quilt on the bed that was folded into tofu cubes.Ye Lei slept all night under a blanket.But after nine o'clock in the evening, there was still additional training.The physical pain is bearable.And after the parents left.Those so-called seniors immediately suppressed and abused them.A strong sense of class captured Ye Lei.

Another night of extra training, Ye Lei has gotten used to it.It is said that one of their seniors invited her boyfriend from the sports institute and a group of other people to help her train.Ye Lei looked numbly into the distance.Then Zhang Yan appeared in his sight.

"You have to straighten your legs, stand still, and don't move!" Zhang Yan's leg kicked Ye Lei's ankle fiercely.Ye Lei glanced at him quietly.He straightened his legs hard.The muscles in his calf twitched nonstop.hehe.You can see that people can always change so much.When you are nothing, you must remember to endure silently when you are bullied.A boy in front of him was beaten by a group of boys from the physical institute because he refused to accept the control of his senior.Ye Lei lowered his head and tears fell to the ground.

Ye Lei felt homesick for the first time.The first time I wanted to kill someone.This hatred is inexplicable.Who do you hate?No goal no purpose.Ye Lei knew that he might have gone crazy a long time ago.

When Zhang Yan kicked Ye Lei again in another night's extra training, Ye Lei raised his eyes and looked at Zhang Yan fiercely.His eyes were red, with a kind of recklessness that his self-esteem was about to be destroyed.For a moment, Zhang Yan thought that this person wanted to kill him, that kind of direct hatred for him. "Don't you know what it means to respect a senior?" Zhang Yan slapped Ye Lei hard in the face.Ye Lei lowered his head and pressed his tongue against the slapped cheek and suddenly had an epiphany.To be a man is to be a grandson, and when you leave home, you treat yourself like a beast.What self-esteem can go to insist.Ye Lei tried his best to straighten his legs, and never made a sound again.Zhang Yan let his girlfriend comfort him with a cold face, and he was also angry.Looking at Ye Lei with a sneer on his face, "Don't let me meet you next time."

After the military training, Ye Lei studied quietly, he didn't join any clubs.Every time he passed the gymnasium, he would take a long detour.Can do one less thing and one less thing.The shortcomings of college and high school are immediately apparent.More free time.Ye Lei will spend more and more time in a daze.He seems to still maintain the method and state of high school learning.Every day at school he could hear messages from Zhang Yan.This is unavoidable.An unknown teachers' college.But there is a student who is very successful in both study and entrepreneurship.Moreover, Zhang Yan's tall and handsome made him the focus.Ye Lei focuses on his studies.What does the life of others have to do with oneself?

In the freshman year, Ye Lei unexpectedly won the first place in his major freshman year.Ye Lei looked at Zhang Yan's name on the senior year's professional report card in the distance.With a sneer.No matter how hard I try, I can't compare.On that report card, Zhang Yan's name ranked first.

In the second semester of the freshman year, a hometown banquet was held.Zhang Yan came here with his girlfriend.Coincidentally, he sat next to Ye Lei.Ye Lei lowered his head, watching the people around him toast and say polite words to the so-called seniors and sisters, feeling nauseated in his stomach.Hehe, this world.

Ye Lei, who wanted to go out to breathe, met Zhang Yan who also came out in the corridor.Ye Lei quietly glanced at Zhang Yan and walked out without stopping.Zhang Yan stared at him from behind, not knowing what he was thinking.

Returning to the dining table again, three bottles of beer were delivered to him. "Doesn't it mean to eat fellow food? And make your seniors and sisters wait for you?" Zhang Yan looked at him with a half-smile.The atmosphere at the dinner table was terribly cold, Ye Lei didn't know what happened when he went out just now.There were beer bottles lying on the table.Everyone looked at him silently.Ye Lei looked up at Zhang Yan, took the three opened bottles of beer for a long time and poured them into his mouth.His eyes never left Zhang Yan at that moment.When he drank the third bottle, Zhang Yan suddenly lifted the table.Slapped him.Just like the night of military training. "You, you, I'll kill your mother!" Zhang Yan swears, as if he changed instantly.Holding back his anger, he couldn't vent his anger and kicked the sofa fiercely. "Get out, I will die with him today! Get out!" Everyone stepped forward to stop Zhang Yan.Ye Lei suddenly spat out blood from his mouth and smiled at him.Softly spit out the word "stupid".Picking up the coat beside him, Ye Lei walked straight out.Zhang Yan's angry roar could still be heard from a distance away.

Ye Lei never saw Zhang Yan again during the first semester of his freshman year, and he heard that Zhang Yan had gone out to start a business.Ye Lei smiled indifferently, this is the difference between a student who is obsessed with studying and an activist.And he is the one who is dead on reading.

When we met Zhang Yan again, we were at the Green Apple Theme Hotel opposite the school. People have to learn to grow up, and Ye Lei always understood this truth very early.When the buddies in the dormitory play League of Legends and go out to date girls.Ye Lei has already started to work part-time.It was past eleven o'clock in the evening.Ye Lei lowered his head and looked at the phone, not knowing what to think.The next moment Zhang Yan's voice appeared beside his ears. "Open the room" Ye Lei raised his head, Zhang Yan was stunned for a moment, put his tongue against his face and sneered, "You boy, huh, that's unlucky." Ye Lei glanced at the girl next to Zhang Yan, and it turned out to be the student from the School of Communication at that time. sister.Pass the room card over.Ye Lei took the money into the counter.He lowered his head and looked at his phone.The sound in the room is very loud, and the hotels opposite these schools often do not have any sound isolation.The panting sounds of men and women echoed faintly throughout the space.Get off work at twelve o'clock.Ye Lei put the things on the counter in order and waited for the boss who took over the shift to come back and lock the door.At this moment, Zhang Yan kicked open the door and rushed out.With his bare upper body, he punched Ye Lei with a kind of anger and despair.Ye Lei quickly fought back.It seemed that he was going to fight to the death with the opponent.The two were biting angrily, punching each other in the face with one punch after another.The oppressive and breathless atmosphere that has always existed between the two people almost broke them.At this moment, they couldn't see the screams and obstructions of the people around them.Only by knocking down one person and killing one of them can they be liberated.

Ye Lei's glasses were shattered all over the place, and the result of the fight between a hard-educated student and the sports academy was already doomed.His head hit the counter heavily, and there was a heavy black shadow in front of his eyes. Under Zhang Yan's heavy fist the next moment, Ye Lei lost consciousness.

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sign in the first day