Dawn is coming

On the way back to the hotel, they bought another ice cream, and Jian Chengqi added two more macarons, one for each of Gao Xinye, and walked along the river bank while eating.

There are many local restaurants and bars next to it, and Jian Chengqi looked at the colorful signs and was eager to try.He hasn't been to a bar all his life, but on the other hand, his heat is indeed approaching.

"I'm here." Gao Xinye put his arms around his shoulders to make him not worry too much, "We will go wherever you want to go."

So they picked a more modest bar.The spring breeze in April is slightly drunk, and many people like to sit outside and enjoy the street lights, so when they go up to the second floor, there are no other diners except for a big table full of people.They stood on the stairs and looked around. They wanted to go back to the first floor, but suddenly a voice from that table stopped Jian Chengqi.

Jian Chengqi didn't look back, and looked at Gao Xinye nervously, as if waiting for him to instruct him whether he should respond or not.Gao Xinye touched his hair and told him that it was not someone else.

It's Fedor.

In fact, none of them expected to meet Fedor in Paris.However, as a world-renowned and still alive literary giant, it is not uncommon for him to be a distinguished professor at a university in Paris and participate in various salon discussions.He just saw a figure on the stairs, but he thought it looked familiar. After blurting out the name, he didn't have any hope, because he knew that young man would definitely not be able to leave the country.

He didn't expect that it would really be Jian Chengqi, but looking at the Alpha beside him, everything can be explained.Because of Fedor's inquiry, other people at the table also cast their eyes on them. Some of them also had the face of Ya Guo, who greeted them warmly and asked them in Chinese if they wanted to join.They sat next to Fedor, someone asked Fedor who Jian Chengqi was, Fedor laughed, and just said that Jian Chengqi was his student.

"Are you also studying at X University? Haven't met you?" It was another person who asked Jian Chengqi, wanting to shake hands with him.Jian Chengqi also stretched out his hand, but he didn't know how to answer, Fedor helped him out, saying that he was studying in a school in Laguo.

"Then we will go to Eastern Europe at that time, come to play with you!" The man just finished speaking, an alpha next to him bumped him with an elbow, saying what to play, did not see that there is an alpha beside him, how can it be your turn ah.

He spoke loudly, without hiding it, and everyone present who could understand Chinese laughed along with him, and Jian Chengqi and Gao Xinye just integrated into it.It was supposed to be a small discussion after class. Except for Fedor and two teachers, the others were all foreign students from the United States of America, so in addition to Common Language and French, they also often speak Chinese.

They also talked about everything, from culture to art to history, the atmosphere was very active, Jian Chengqi would smile knowingly when they clapped the table, it was not perfunctory, but really read those books and appreciated those plays He had a feeling that came from the source that only belonged to him, so some of what he said were not abrupt, and those students would nod thoughtfully after hearing it.They actually wanted to encourage Gao Xinye to talk, but his aura was too strange to enter, and the other alphas present didn't dare to talk to him, they just thought he was here to accompany Jian Chengqi.

Gao Xinye didn't have the slightest dissatisfaction with being ignored, which seemed to be exactly what he wanted. Jian Chengqi asked him in his ear if he had anything to say, and he would bluntly say no.

"I can only hold a gun." He looked at his hands under the table and told Jian Chengqi that he was just a warrior.

Compared with these students and Jian Chengqi, what he received was a completely different education.They originally came from two worlds, like two parallel lines, if he is not sitting or standing now, standing far away, he sees that Jian Chengqi can talk and laugh with those people well, and be liked and appreciated by those people , he touched the thin calluses on his fingertips, thinking about the blood that had been stained on them, how dare he step forward.

How dare I tell him personally that the silent watching of Wenxingtang that night was my long and unspeakable love at first sight.

It was the first time for Jian Chengxi, seeing inferiority and avoidance in Gao Xinye's eyes, he finally understood why the resolute Gao Xinye hesitated for so long before appearing, even now, he may still be thinking in his heart, Jian Chengqi will meet an Alpha who is more suitable than him, who can handle such occasions with him, and who can be his more suitable soul mate.

Jian Chengqi said it was impossible, but Gao Xinye was a little more serious and said, what if there is.

"No more," Jian Chengqi said, "I have accumulated so much luck for so long, and after suffering so much, I am reluctant to use it. It is all used to meet you."

"So there won't be any, even if there is, he is not Ono, there is only one Ono," he whispered in Gao Xinye's ear, "I will stay with Ono for a long, long time."

They looked at each other and smiled, and from the corner of their eyes, they saw two people sitting at the table near the stairs, looking at them all the time. One of them had a [-]-point hairstyle, with obvious forehead lines, and a very energetic haircut under his nose. He has a small beard, and the other wears black-rimmed glasses, his eyes are blocked by the lenses and he can't see the slightest emotion.The two of them must have heard what they were talking about. At this time, the topic was not just about literature, but mixed with other personal opinions.There are some words that only students can say, and they have all drank alcohol, so their voices are so loud that they are afraid that others will not hear them.One of them said that it is not that creators must use metaphors, nor is it that people who hold pens are naturally stubborn and prone to heresy, but that the interference of the current situation and environment on literary creation forces people to do mapping.He also respectfully pointed to his mentor Fedor, saying that a country the size of a city in the United States of America can issue a New Century Literature Award, why we have the largest population in the world, and why our contemporary literature has not ushered in Prosperity as it should be.

Some people also feel sad, but from another angle.He showed everyone here the promotional billboards all over the domestic airport, which read "Don't forget where you came from, Daima Yifeng", and the lower right corner is a bust photo of He Boyan.Now if you search for "Daimayifeng" on the intranet of the United States of America, most of the annotations will tell you that Commander He poured new soul into this idiom at a certain conference. He called on overseas students not to forget their own. Wherever the root is, no matter where you are, you must heart to the United States of America.

"They've all started redefining words," one said. "What's the next step?"

"That's not the definition," said someone, really drunk, "that's an insult."

The more they chatted, the more heated the topics became, and when the arguments like "The princes and generals, I would rather have a kind" came out, Jian Cheng looked anxiously at the mustache sitting at the top of the stairs.It made him feel like he was back in the discussion group a few years ago, except that now they were in Paris, these energetic young people don't have to worry about the secret police breaking in suddenly, they enjoy the sunshine of their hometown on the second floor of this small bar more freedom.

"Do you remember Senior Liu? Liu Jia'an!" Someone said angrily, "I heard from friends in China that he sent an article to magazines and the media a while ago. Although he didn't write it, he was also locked up. "

Jian Chengqi looked at Gao Xinye, Gao Xinye should have known it a long time ago, but he didn't even want to waste a word on that person, he just moved his mouth and said, he deserved it.

But Liu Jiaan's image among those students is obviously very positive, so everyone was filled with righteous indignation about his imprisonment, thinking that such a depressing place called them to replace Ma Yifeng because they were so blind that they couldn't tell right from wrong and couldn't see Is the water inside the walls dire and hot?They also vowed that if one Liu Jiaan went in, thousands of Liu Jiaan would continue to criticize and criticize with their pens in silence.

Jian Chengqi really didn't want to hear that name, he couldn't even hold the cup steadily, and made a loud noise.Those young people cast their eyes on him inquiringly following the voice. Jian Chengqi was looked at very uncomfortable, but he still asked: "Then are you planning to go back to China?"

He really kept them questioned, because no one could say "no" firmly. If they didn't love that land deeply, they wouldn't gather here to point out Jiangshan's words.

"You are very angry," Jian Chengxi continued, "it's like facing a powerful and authoritarian father. You are children who cannot resist for the time being, so you are very angry, impulsive, and even make some small moves. However, resisting patriarchy is not necessarily It is necessary to kill the father. Killing the father is the worst, the most extreme, the least desirable, and the last one that everyone wants to see in the way of solving family conflicts, and this way will cause endless troubles, because you don’t know How will your stepfather treat you? After all, he is not your biological father, and there is no bond or fetter between you."

"Are we going to have to endure all the time?" someone asked.

"It's not tolerance, it's communication. If one day your child draws your attention and expresses his dissatisfaction through resistance and rebellion, you will definitely not sit idly by, because no matter how intense the conflict is, it is a family after all. "

"Family," he said, "and in a family, isn't 'who I am' more important than 'resisting whom'?" Jian Chengqi looked at Fedor, feeling a little nervous, but he still didn't flinch. Said: "Even if there are tens of thousands of people who write 'Who am I against', there must always be someone who writes 'Who am I'. I want to eat, I want to wear, I want to guard my homeland and miss the distance, I want to move forward and work hard to follow To reconcile in the past, you want to die and want to live. Yes, these structures are very small, only concerned with "I", but if, if a person can't even resolve the internal conflict, how can he solve the external conflict more thoroughly? If he can't even resolve the internal conflict. He doesn't know who he is, so how can he know what he really wants? And how can he confirm that he has not lost his rationality and basic ability to judge because of anger."

The second floor of the bar was silent until Jian Chengqi continued to speak.

"We have a better way of getting along that only belongs to this family, otherwise everything will not get better again." Jian Chengqi continued, "Although it is very tortuous and slow, but on the whole...For example, Fedor His book was published in China at the end of last year without any deletions, which was unimaginable three years ago. We do still have many problems, many, many, but... But if you are too eager for quick success, you want to solve it overnight To solve all problems by overthrowing something will only repeat the mistakes of 20 years ago, turning spring back into winter all of a sudden.”

"...So you mean that the future is likely to be a better life, not a miserable world?" someone asked, obviously not optimistic about it.

Jian Chengqi's breathing also fluctuated several times, looking at the person who asked the question, he couldn't give a definite answer.

"But I know that even if there are huge changes, there is no guarantee that the future will be [-]% hopeful." Jian Chengqi said it with difficulty, "The future cannot be guaranteed, only..."

Just live and see for yourself.

"Okay, then your views are really traditional and conservative." Someone said a few words of some kind to label Jian Chengqi, and just about to lead the topic in other directions, he also saw it The one with the mustache and black-rimmed glasses sitting in the corridor.

"Hi!" He asked Jian Chengqi in a low voice, jokingly said, "Are you guys under surveillance so you dare not tell the truth, if so, just blink."

"But that's what I want to say," Jian Chengqi said without looking back, "Believe it or not, I know better than everyone here how terrible the price will be if I don't stick to what I want in my heart."

"Wow...then you must not have experienced anything," the man raised his eyebrows and said to Jian Chengqi without knowing Jian Chengqi's name, "You are such a naive omega."

Gao Xinye obviously wanted to say something, but Jian Chengqi held his hand and shook his head at him.They still have a schedule tomorrow, and after sitting for a while, they were about to leave. Fedor, who hadn’t spoken much all night, sent them out of the bar. Standing at the door, he asked Jian Chengqi if he was still writing.

"Yes," Jian Chengqi said to him.

Fedor asked: "What subject?"

Jian Chengqi said, "A love story."

Fyodor laughed, without any other meaning, just a smile.

He asked, "Is it still just love?"

"I used to think that you would become the second me." He said to Jian Chengqi, "Your idea is actually not wrong. Literary creation is free and unrestricted, but when I realized what I have experienced, I felt the pain in my chest. A sense of responsibility arises spontaneously. From then on, I no longer want to write those small patterns. I feel that fate has arranged for me so much suffering and allowed me to survive. My future creations must have grand themes. Otherwise I would be ashamed of my readers and my time."

"But I'm just myself." Jian Chengqi said.

"Yeah, so you can't become a great writer." Fedor sighed, "Are you willing to just be a small writer?"

Even if you are tempered by suffering, separated from your flesh and blood, and have seen the outside world, you still have no hatred.

Even if you are used, questioned, and misunderstood, you still only want to write about beauty and love.

"That's right." Jian Chengqi pursed his lips, and blinked a little aggrieved and disappointed.There were already tears in his eyes, but then he grinned and said to Fedor openly, "It's always been."

"Then I wish you well," Fedor hugged him, "You are really the most innocent young man I have ever seen."

Defeated by that naivety, he said, "I look forward to any of your stories."

"...Thank you." Jian Chengqi said to him.

"Thank you for your alpha." Fedor patted him on the shoulder and waved goodbye to them.So they continued on the way back, and there were many street performers playing musical instruments along the way.They are all in Paris now, and although they can't dance, they are also in the sound of violins and guitars, amidst laughter and lights, putting their arms around each other's shoulders or waists like those locals, without any rules or shyness. Slowly turning around, there are city pigeons and sparrows who are not afraid of strangers at your feet.Everything is so natural, except that the moustache and black-rimmed glasses with raised forehead lines are still accompanying him, leaning on the railing and staring at the river, in fact he is still observing Jian Chengqi and Gao Xinye.

"They're watching us." Jian Chengxi didn't stop his clumsy dance, but just stated to Gao Xinye.

"Leave them alone." Gao Xinye said, trying to cover Jian Chengqi's eyes.But Jian Chengxi's speed was even faster, he stood on tiptoe, held Gao Xinye's face, and kissed his lips wholeheartedly.

At that moment, Jian Chengxi felt an unprecedented ease.People will always change, whether they are active or passive, growing or standing still.He has been involved in many disputes, wasted a lot of time, wrote words that did not come from his original intention, and was labeled as not belonging to him.

He is no longer what he used to be, but he had a clear conscience when he kissed Gao Xinye, because his original intention has not changed.

"Then let them see." He pried open Gao Xinye's lips again youthfully and recklessly, not paying attention to the gaze cast from a distance.

He knew the watchers could see everything.

You can see the lights and moonlight, the crowd and the pigeons, you can see the cruise ship sailing into the bridge hole, the coins fall into the piano box, and you can see the kissing and hugging of the two people under surveillance.

But they can't see anything.

Can't see it's rebellion, it's romance—

It is freedom, endless life.