Dawn is coming

"I used to be really bad," he tried to keep his voice steady, "I don't deserve the kindness you've been treating me like."

Jian Chengxi sat quietly and unguardedly, his attitude seemed to say that Gao Xinye could touch him now.He didn't know how much Gao Xinye knew about himself, so he chose to be honest first.In the current general environment, it is impossible for romance to happen between military personnel and people with prison stains. He wants Gao Xinye to be as good as he is, and he can completely treat another with a clean resume, gentleness, status and his own. Matching omega is good.

But Gao Xinye didn't show much surprise, as if he knew a long time ago, the reason why there was a flash of astonishment in his eyes was because he didn't expect Jian Chengqi to mention it first.

"I thought there was no need to talk about whether we deserved it or not," he said, earnestly to the point of embarrassment.It was Jian Chengqi who confessed first, but he seemed even more at a loss, so that he no longer hesitated and brought up the past again.

"Five years ago you came to the capital to study at university and worked as a volunteer in a mental health institution. Since there were no classes on Thursdays, your working hours were Saturday and Thursday nights," Gao Xinye asked, "Do you still remember?"

Jian Chengxi nodded hesitantly.He did volunteer for a year in the Tertiary Sex Dementia Unit there.His usual job is to answer the phone, or be used as a tree hole.He is not a professional psychological counselor, but some people do not come here to consult and be enlightened, but just to find someone to vent. They don't need any response from the other party, they just want someone to sit across from them and listen silently.

So the association built a tree cave. As for whether there are people in the tree cave, it depends entirely on whether the person who comes to talk needs someone in it.If there is, the person who confides can see the volunteer sitting inside through the tree hole, but the volunteer cannot see him, which makes no matter what the confider says, the people inside will not know who he is, which greatly guarantees The privacy of the speaker also allows them to open up more.Every time Jian Chengqi went to be a tree hole, there was no one who didn't ramble for an hour, even if he couldn't let go at the beginning, when he talked about it, he would cry and laugh at the end.

That's why Jian Chengqi was deeply impressed by the consultant who had been silent all this time. At the third time, he finally couldn't help his doubts, stood up from his chair, walked to the one-way glass that looked like a tree hole, and knocked.

"咚咚-"

"You just stood in front of the glass and asked me if I was still there." Gao Xinye knocked on the table twice, simulating that voice, "I said I was still there, you just nodded and sat back. Then I Did not speak, neither did you, we met for the third time, just sat together in silence for an hour as before."

"It turns out that you are the one who asked me what I was thinking after we met for the fourth time!" Jian Chengqi recalled, the sharing of silence for the first few times seemed to let him pass some kind of test, after that for half a year, they each Months will meet in the tree cave.In order to protect privacy to the greatest extent, before entering the tree cave, volunteers and confidants will paste pheromone temporary coverage patches, and the sound will be slightly processed after being transmitted through the tree cave, so if Gao Xinye does not mention it, Jian Chengxi estimates It is impossible to combine him with the person five years ago in this life.

"At that time..." He paused for a moment, and then said, "My guardian forced me to go there for consultation, or even go to a tree cave room. Before you, I never asked for someone behind the tree cave, I can go an hour without talking, but the other person can't do anything for an hour, it's hard."

"But you've been quiet."

"I like it very much that you are sitting opposite. Even if I don't speak, you can seriously do nothing but be with me."

"Until I asked you what you were thinking," Gao Xinye smiled unconsciously, "You are really honest, you said you were actually in a daze, daydreaming."

"Don't say it, don't say it," Jian Chengqi was shy, trying to cover Gao Xinye's mouth, but when he said this, Gao Xinye was already driving, and Jian Chengqi didn't dare to make any big moves for fear of affecting the driving. I could only poke his arm and emphasized it several times, telling him not to mention it again.

But even if he doesn't mention it, Jian Chengqi still remembers what happened.Although he is a tree hole, his thoughts are quite similar to those who confide, and he feels that the other party doesn't know him anyway, so it doesn't matter what dreams he said he had.

He likes dreaming very much, and has liked it since he was a child.No matter how small other people are, the imaginary world is as big as the infinitely expanding universe without boundaries.

He had nothing at that time but a wild imagination.When he was just a boy in a small town in South Third District, he thought about what the world would be like in the mountains and rivers. When he grew up, he went to South One District with his parents and brothers. It was those imaginations and dreams that accepted and digested his understanding of the new life. He didn't adapt to the environment, he was under a lot of pressure in high school, and he didn't have time to write down those pictures, but every night before going to bed, he would still play a small movie in his mind. Others said that dreaming at night would make him very tired the next day, but Jian Chengqi was different. , he just likes to dream, he has to dream, so that he will be refreshed the next day.

He is not subject to any restrictions in that fantasy world, which is his spiritual home, where he is unrestrained and free.

Of course, dreaming and imagining are not hobbies or talents worth mentioning. Jian Chengqi never mentioned it to others, but the person behind the tree hole knows nothing except what he looks like. Jian Chengqi Also have the courage to tell him what daydreams he is having.

And that person finally spoke, which gave Jian Chengqi a sense of accomplishment. He was interested in his fantasy, and Jian Chengxi was willing to share it.Later he began to write down the dreams before going to the tree cave, and then read them to each other during that hour.At first it was just fragments, but gradually those fragments became more and more concrete, and pieced together into a complete short story, or a chapter of a long narrative.Jian Chengqi wrote more and more vigorously, and soon regained the joy of writing stories under the covers before entering high school.He was under a lot of pressure throughout high school, so before he met the confidant whose name he didn't know, he hadn't created for three years. In the last year, he couldn't write in his diary. He didn't think that he would continue after he went to college. Write.

He started writing again because of that person. They met five times a month, and Jian Chengqi could write enough words for five hours.He wrote about everything, with all kinds of subjects, but most of them were love stories, and the backgrounds were all set in the undifferentiated pre-war period of Abo.He was originally afraid that the other party would get bored and would be bored if he listened to it too much, but Jian Chengqi remembered that the man said it was okay, and that he thought those stories were healing and warm, and he liked them very much.

The first draft of "It's the Moonlight and the Rose" was written at that time.Different from the version posted on the forum later, Jian Chengqi told the story in the tree cave completely according to the timeline.That day he happened to be talking about Zhang Shixi confessing to Jiang Chong. On the way back to the dormitory, Zhang Shixi said that the moonlight was so beautiful tonight. He looked down at Zhang Shixi, who had piercing eyes and wings, and said he felt the same way.

That was the end of a chapter. After Jian Chengqi finished reading, the person opposite laughed lightly.Jian Chengqi asked him why he was smiling, and he said that he did not expect the dull and reticent Zhang Shixi to confess first, but this subtle confession was very Zhang Shixi.

That day, the clock hanging on the wall showed that there were still 5 minutes left. Jian Chengqi saw that the person opposite was relaxed, so he jokingly sighed, saying that he was like Scheherazade who told the Arabian Nights.According to legend, in ancient Arabia, the king of the country where Scheherazade lived was cruel and extreme by nature, and because of the queen's misbehavior, the king married a girl every day out of revenge, and killed her early the next morning.Shan Ruzod is the daughter of the prime minister. In order to save the miserable common people, she voluntarily married the king. Every night, she would tell the king a story, and then lived day after day with unfinished books, until she reached the thousandth day. In Zero One Night, the king was finally moved by Shan Ruzod and her story, he stopped hurting civilians, and grew old with Shan Ruzod.

At that time, Jian Chengqi had been writing for several months, so he imagined boldly and asked the person opposite: "You said that if I keep telling you, will I also tell "Arabian Nights"?"

"Yes." The man was silent for a moment, and then affirmed, "You have actually said it."

"Don't praise me so much," Jian Chengqi was very embarrassed, "I only said a few words."

"It's enough." He obviously didn't mean the quantity. "The king heard your story, and he will definitely have a good heart again."

That person even made Jian Chengqi cry.Jian Chengqi almost habitually writes that the protagonists in the stories are separated for a period of time, and the time is always three years.Zhang Shixi and Jiang Chong also broke up later, because Zhang Shixi devoted all his time and energy to the museum.The memorial day is Monday when the museum is closed, but Zhang Shixi didn't think about Jiang Chong that day, but posted an introduction on the wall of the exhibition hall alone.

That was the last straw that overwhelmed Jiang Chong. They broke up in the art gallery Jiang Chong built for him in the seventh year of their meeting.The last paragraph of that chapter is Jiang Chong’s farewell. He was frustrated and windy and said to Zhang Shixi, you know, the way you look at those paintings and artworks is like cheating.

The people on the other side of the tree hole were silent.When Jian Chengxi wrote this paragraph, his feelings were very delicate. Seeing that the person didn't comment, he said that he would change it first. Such a metaphor is really abrupt.

"If you really find it abrupt, you wouldn't write like that," said the man.

"I didn't think about it that much, anyway, I just wrote it like this," Jian Chengqi shrugged pretending not to care, "but it's really strange to compare obsession with work to cheating."

"If it was as simple as being obsessed with work, Jiang Chong wouldn't have such a strong sense of crisis."

The chair over there moved, as if the man had stretched himself.Then he said that if he were Jiang Chong, maybe he would break up with Zhang Shixi too, but not because of disappointment or anger.

"Zhang Shixi loves those works of art no less than he loves Jiang Chong. Art is so beautiful, and beauty—"

He seemed unfamiliar and familiar with the meaning of this word, so he paused: "Do you know Tarna? Ten years ago, she went to no man's land to look for that plane, and never came back. I heard that, Even now, there are still people who would venture into the west to find her. I couldn't understand it before, but now that I think about it, Tarna must be a million times more beautiful in the eyes of those people than in the photos, so she deserves so many people to support her regardless of costs."

"Wow..." Jian Chengqi was flattered, "Did you think of this? Wow, you can speak better than I can write! You are so good!"

"Then do you think Tarna is beautiful?" Jian Chengqi continued to ask, "I also heard that as long as you have seen her in real life, there is no one who doesn't like her. I wish I was born 20 years earlier, maybe I can be one See the truth."

The person over there was silent for a few seconds, and then said, "I think your story is still beautiful."

"Don't boast so much," Jian Chengqi blushed, "I'm so happy to have readers like you!"

"Then my little writer has to continue writing, can the next chapter be spoiled?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Jian Chengqi was excited, "I will let them meet in the next chapter!"

"How long have they been apart?"

"Three years." Although there was a particle in the tone, Jian Chengqi blurted out this number.

"Ah?" The man's voice was deliberately exaggerated, "Why is it three years? Little writer, you are so ruthless."

Of course, Jian Chengxi couldn't give a reason, but the phrase "little writer" got into his heart, and he smiled embarrassedly and contentedly, and there was no sound from the other side of the tree hole. Jian Chengqi pursed his lips and asked Why doesn't he speak.

"I'm looking at you."

It was the first time for Jian Chengqi to hear that person say such straightforward words, and his face turned red.He lowered his head in a panic and asked him what to see.

"When I look at you, I can imagine the way you write stories. You must be very focused, very devoted, very... very Zhang Shixi."

"...Huh?" Jian Chengqi raised his head and looked at the tree hole.

"I said that the way you write novels must be exactly the same as Zhang Shixi who sat in front of a painting all day. If you have a lover, you might complain like Jiang Chong, saying that you look like cheating when you write novels. "

"I've never been in a relationship, I..." Jian Chengqi wanted to refute this metaphor, but he was quite ashamed, so he lowered his head.The person on the opposite side didn't know why he talked so much today, so he said jokingly: "Then these are really your imaginations, and the little writer is really talented in writing stories."

"Do you think I'm talented?" Jian Chengqi had never been praised so much before, so he couldn't help asking urgently: "Do you really think I'm a writer?"

The man didn't answer, as if lost in thought.That brief silence made Jian Chengxi panic, he began to regret asking this stupid question, what kind of writer is he, how could he be——

"Of course you are."

The man interrupted Jian Chengxi's arrogance, his voice was determined from a boy to a man.

"And you'll get better at it," he said. "You're bound to be a great writer in the future."

Jian Chengqi was in tears at that time, he didn't feel too sad, his tears just flowed down.He never thought about this possibility, but when that person said that, he suddenly believed that he could have this possibility too.The man didn't expect that Jian Chengqi would cry suddenly, he stuttered when comforting him, and the volume was louder than before, as if he was standing on the edge of the glass.Jian Chengqi wiped his face, sniffed and walked to the tree hole where he couldn't see the other side.He heard the other party knock on the glass, he smiled and knocked too.

"I'm sorry," the person at the other end still comforted, clumsily, "I'm telling the truth, I..."

"Thank you for encouraging me," Jian Chengxi's eyes were wet again, he resisted it, and said to the man, "I really like writing."

I like it so much, I like it more than I imagined.

"...Then you have to continue writing," he said, "I'm waiting. When I come next time, Jiang Chong and Zhang Shixi will meet again."

"I..." His voice was very close, "I'm looking forward to meeting them."

"En!" Jian Chengxi rubbed his eyes and nodded vigorously: "Wait until the next chapter, you will know why roses are used in the title of the book."

Seeing that Jian Chengqi cheered up, he also seemed relieved: "Okay, then we will see you next time."

"Okay," Jian Chengqi smiled, his eyes sparkling, "I'll see you next time!"

That was an agreement five years ago, but until Jian Chengxi finished his one-year voluntary work, that person never came again.

At that time, the border situation was the most tense and severe. QiKa, the government of the fleeing country, discovered the arsenal left by the NATO alliance in the territory, and then used depleted uranium weapons to attack the western border.And the United States of America signed a global peace treaty in the last century. If the United States of America also uses radiation weapons, then the troops of the NATO alliance can also enter the battlefield according to the regulations.

This kind of internal and external troubles is something that the order-maintaining government does not want to see, so before the Uranus serum was developed, even though the frontline soldiers were threatened by nuclear radiation, the United States army did not drop a single radiation bomb on the exile country.At the same time, the European Union has officially joined the intense battle. There are five countries in the east of the Union that share the border with the United States of America. If the west of the United States of America is lost, their borders will also fall one after another.

It was also that year that Gao Xinye was transferred to the border force.His application for enlistment was submitted three months ago, and it was only a matter of time before he went to the western front, but by coincidence, the emergency transfer order was issued on the night he and Jian Chengqi agreed to meet next time.Later, he was born and died on the border, and the right chest of the uniform was covered with merit medals. When he looked up during the night watch, whether he could see the bright moon in the sky or not, he would always think of Jian Chengqi.

At that time, he already knew that the person who told him the story for half a year was called Jian Chengqi, the Jian Chengqi who had deserted on the first day of his enlistment and defied the military order to meet him.

He wanted to tell Jian Chengqi that he didn't mean to miss the appointment, and he wanted to make their farewell more formal.

He used to be just a knife and blade for one person, but when he went to the front line, what he defended was the whole country.Gao Xinye was still underage five years ago, if he really went to see Jian Chengqi, he might say that he was going to be a hero.

If he hadn't died on the battlefield, he'd be a hero when he came back.

This idea gave him the confidence to stop hiding behind the tree hole. He wanted the little writer Cheng Qi not to forget him, and he wanted Jian Cheng Qi to wait for him to come back.

But in the end he just glanced at it from a distance, and then left silently.

Since then, mountains and rivers have been far away, and the situation has changed.If they go back to the capital together in five years and go to the consulting agency, they will find that the tree cave room is still the same as it was five years ago. The "dong dong" sound from the hole reminds me of the other party's crying and laughing after being processed by the voice changer.

But he really wasn't sure if Jian Chengqi would remember, until he pretended to be mb to pick up Jian Chengqi's business.Gao Xinye knew that "It's the Moonlight and the Rose" sold very well in the year it was published, but when he wiped Jian Chengxi's hair, Jian Chengqi said a lot incoherently, what he said was always the readers .

rather than readers.

He later wrote about the reunion of Zhang Shixi and Jiang Chong, and he used a very specific date.Many people didn't pay attention to it after reading it, and didn't think it was a detail that poured meaning into it, but Gao Xinye knew that it was not a random day.

Because it was at two o'clock in the afternoon that day, he did not show up in the tree cave at the scheduled time.

On that day Zhang Shixi and Jiang Chongjiu reunited for a long time, and he and Jian Chengqi did not have a formal farewell on that day.

None of them are the teenagers they once were.

They, everyone remembers the youthful time that can't go back.