camouflage

When Shu Xia woke up, it was still dark, and the biological clock was up.

He took out his phone and looked at it, it was five o'clock.

In an unfamiliar environment, with the clear sound of typing on the keyboard outside, he came to his senses and realized that this was Liu Qiang's lounge.

There was a message about Ji Xi on the phone. He unlocked it and opened it to look at it. It was a daily greeting and good night. The time was past one o'clock last night.

He should still be sleeping at the moment, he sent a "good morning" in the past, but there was no response.

As soon as she looked up, she saw the guitar on the opposite wall. Shu Xia was stunned for a moment, got out of bed and left with a calm expression, and Liu Qiang didn't take off his shoes.

It was so quiet outside that there was only the sound of the keyboard, Liu Qiang was sleeping soundly on the table, Shu Xia went out lightly, stood in the corridor and looked at the alley, no thoughts in her mind, it was as quiet as a lake.

He carefully sorted out the things to do today, first went to Dawanzi to give the card to Mei Ting, and then he might not be able to come back until the afternoon, he probably didn’t need to buy groceries, there was still a lot left when he left the night before yesterday, what to say to Mei Ting when he went back How should I put it, there is also Shu Daqing's first seven and so on, the more I think about it, the more things I have.

The phone vibrated, and Shu Xia took it out to take a look, it was from Ji Xi, woke up so early?

Ji Xueba: Good morning, Xiaoxia!

Shu Xia smiled silently, the name was not quite right, I could imagine Ji Xi's smirk, wanting to tease him anytime and anywhere, he quickly typed a few words in his hand.

Shu Xia: Woke up so early?

Ji Xueba: I can't sleep, I want to hug you.

Depend on!

Shu Xia let out a breath, looked around, he was the only one, Ji Xi was really...talking about love anytime, anywhere.

Shu Xia: I'm going back today.

Shu Xia: Don't send me off. It's not convenient for you to take care of something.

Ji Xi didn't reply for a long time, probably because he was angry, and Shu Xia didn't intend to coax him, he didn't want Ji Xi to mess with his family affairs.

When Mei Ting grabbed his clothes and questioned him, he almost died of fright.

If they can't meet again, Ji Xi won't be hurt.

Looking at the vast night, Shu Xia began to feel bad again, so Shu Xia took a deep breath and let out her depression.

The phone vibrated.

Ji Xueba: When will you be back?

Shu Xia: Afternoon, not sure what time it is.

Ji Xueba: Okay, I'll give you a day off, at most one day, if you don't come back before six o'clock, I will arrest you.

Shu Xia chuckled and typed quickly.

Shu Xia: Thank you boss!Be sure to come back on time.

Ji Xueba: Well, be good!

Shu Xia doesn't want to chat with him anymore, this man really never forgets to take advantage of him.

After not taking the bus for a long time, Shu Xia took a look at the color of the car body, and then looked at the familiar route. She was sure that the bus had been replaced with a new one, and even the fare was one yuan more expensive.

He climbed up and took a look. There were a lot of seats, the color was yellow and orange, the body was lengthened, and there were about [-] seats on the back two steps.

The only thing that remains the same is the passenger and the pannier.

He left early, there were not many people, and the last seat was unoccupied, so he chose the window seat on the left side of the first row up the steps, close to the car door.

The car is very stable, there is no popping sound when starting, and the potholes on the road do not seem to be falling apart. It is very firm, but the smell is a bit heavy.

The speed is much faster, and it will arrive in half an hour.

Spring is here, and it's the season of farming. From a distance, I can see people digging soil and planting vegetables by the lake. Everyone is moving forward and working hard to live.

Shu Xia withdrew her gaze, walked towards the small road, and met Shu Xinfang who came down, she didn't have the mood to chat, but just greeted her lightly.

The vegetable garden was trampled to become one with the yard, and even the familiar path was gone.

After a few days of bustle, there was only silence and depression, and the smell of fireworks at the tip of his nose was still reminding him that everything was real, that there was one person missing in this family, forever!

A sense of gloom stuck in my heart, melancholy, emptiness, life did not lighten the burden with a person's departure, but because of the lack of a supporting point, everything fell on him.

This result has been known for a long time, Shu Xia has no plan to escape, he is the only man left in this family, not a boy, but a man!

The house was so quiet that it seemed unoccupied. When he opened the door, he saw Mei Ting sitting on the sofa in a daze. Sadness welled up in his heart. He took a deep breath and squatted in front of Mei Ting with his trousers. She is very petite, he can look at her even when he is squatting down, and even look down when he raises his head slightly.

"Mom, have you eaten yet?" Shu Xia asked softly.

Mei Ting glanced at him, lifeless eyes, with indifference and calmness, as if no one or anything in this world could arouse waves in her eyes.

Shu Xia didn't care, and took out the bank card and handed it to her: "The money has been deposited, 5 yuan, the same as before."

In fact, it was more than 1000 missing, and he made up for it, making it a whole number.

Seeing that she didn't answer, Shu Xia put the card in her hand, stood up and said lightly: "I will go forward, I hope you can too."

Before Mei Ting could react, he went to the kitchen. It was exactly the same as when he left, except that there were a few more dishes left unwashed, and the messy pile made my heart feel heavy and messy.

Putting on gloves, tidying up skillfully, he does these things every time he comes back, not without complaints, but complaining is useless, he can't do anything else besides this.

He didn't know when his grandmother left. Mei Ting was alone at home, so he couldn't rest assured.

Mei Ting loves to think wildly, she can be busy when Shu Daqing is around, but now she alone doesn't know what's going on in her head, what kind of world she's trapped in, and if he doesn't come back, she doesn't know if the illness will recur.

Everything is messy.

Mei Ting's illness is like a neurosis, the symptoms are different every time, irritable, autistic, dazed, on average once a year, she doesn't know how to take medicine, Shu Xia doesn't know when she will next time, what symptoms , are uncontrollable factors.

It took more than two hours to tidy up the kitchen, and his own room was also in a mess, as well as Shu Daqing's room and the living room.

He found a song and listened to it so that he didn't feel so sad and tired.

It wasn't until after two o'clock in the afternoon that the house changed into its familiar appearance, simple but tidy.A lot of things were thrown away, and the whole house was much empty.

He was so busy that he was dizzy, he rested for a while, Mei Ting ignored him, and became irritable as soon as he was free, he started cooking again non-stop, very simple two dishes and one soup, served separately, the diaphragm in his heart I can't get rid of it, and the thought of it is full of hatred and fear.

At the dinner table, Mei Ting said the first sentence since he came back, her voice was hoarse like an old smoker's voice.

"Are you coming back?" she asked, cautiously.

The words of Shu Xia's refusal were stuck in her throat, and her little bit of hope held him tightly, unable to refuse.

He nodded and agreed.

She was very happy, and she smiled a little, which made people feel distressed.

Shu Xia lowered her head, the rebellion of the past few months is over, treat it as a dream!

"You...I will go forward too, don't leave me behind, we are the only mother and son left at home." Mei Ting said in a low voice.

"En." Shu Xia agreed, picked up a piece of green pepper and ate it with the rice, swallowing her grievances.

"You study hard, mom will work hard to live, earn money for you to go to college, you study hard!" she emphasized twice.

Shu Xia paused and said nothing, took a few mouthfuls and put down the bowl before saying: "You don't need to earn it, I will earn it myself, you take care of yourself, don't... drag me along." After finishing speaking, he put down his bowl The chopsticks and clean dishes were taken away.

Helped Shu Daqing to burn some paper money. The three words on the tombstone hurt the eyes. Shu Xia subconsciously avoided it. When she came back, she saw Mei Ting carrying a hoe and saw him say: "Everyone is growing vegetables. I'm fine, I'm fine too..."

Shu Xia interrupted her: "Well, I see, I have to go to work tonight, don't think about it alone, come back and rest when you are tired."

"Go to work?" Mei Ting was stunned for a moment before she remembered, "Yes, you have to go to tutoring, hasn't that kid finished it yet?"

"I lied to you. I'm not tutoring. I'm working as a network administrator in an Internet cafe. Don't be angry. I've done a lot of things over the years, and the network administrator isn't that bad." Shu Xia entered the room after saying a word. His mother can always label Internet cafes, bars, movie theaters, and even playgrounds as "doing nothing, wasting time".

As long as you go, you just don't learn well.

His room has been restored to its original appearance, all the bedding has been washed, and he won't sleep tonight anyway.

When I took out my mobile phone, I realized that I didn't know when it ran out of battery, and I didn't bring the charger with me. This poor memory always forgets things.

Ji Xi must have sent a lot of messages and probably made a lot of phone calls.

Shu Xia tidied up, put her bag on her back, got on a new bus and left Dawanzi Station.

Ji Xi was dragged by Lao Lai to chat for a long time, talking about everything, even if he wanted to hang up, he was still nagging.

"Did Sanxinsan forget the way back?" Lao Lai asked, his hands were busy all the time, he was still in the office, and Ji Xi saw his lucky cat, which was similar to the one in the horn corner, and it was a bigger size.

"Well, it's too much fun outside, I don't want to go back." Ji Xi leaned on the sofa and found a comfortable position.

"What's so funny that attracts you so much?" Lao Lai stopped writing and looked at him curiously.

"Well, I met someone." Ji Xi said as he got up and sat down, "He is a top student, and he is a very good top student. He is the type you like very much."

"Aren't you good at studying? Are you interested in being a top student?" Lao Lai said with a smile.

"Well, it's very interesting." Ji Xi said with a smile, "Really, it's very interesting and very attractive."

"I can't see it even after you said it." Lao Lai said seriously, "Is it enough for you to relax? Are you back in the third year of high school? Don't think that you can waste time at will if you study well. The college entrance examination is not a joke."

"I don't plan to go back. I can take the test here. Gold can shine everywhere. That's what you said!" Ji Xi smiled, "Do you want to slap your face?"

"I... said it, but it was to comfort you. Even if you are gold, someone has to dig it out to shine." Lao Lai sighed and said, "Who can dig you out in your county?"

"Xueba, I don't know how good he is, he is on par with me, if he relaxes a bit, he will surpass me." Ji Xi said proudly.

"What's the matter with your proud face?" Lao Lai asked.

"You don't care about me, okay, don't talk about it, I have to arrest people." Ji Xi glanced at the time and smiled obsequiously, "By the way, there is something else, Lao Lai, why don't you dig it? Me? Send me a copy of the college entrance examination materials from No. [-] Middle School?"

"...Asshole! This is a secret, you are not my student anymore, no way!" Lao Lai hung up the phone angrily.

Ji Xi pursed his lips, his mouth was hard and his heart was soft, just like Shu Xia.

Gee!

This bastard doesn't respond to a single message, and when he gets home, he forgets about his boyfriend and forgets about his boyfriend's things!

Throwing a handful of feed to Xiaocao, Ji Xi flicked the car keys and whistled, ready to arrest someone!

With Shu Xia's temperament, she will be bullied once she returns, and she may have to sign an unequal treaty and sell her stature.

As soon as I went downstairs, I saw the person who sold himself back.

Ji Xi didn't leave either, leaning against the wall and whistling at Shu Xia, "Are you willing to come back?"

Shu Xia looked up at him, smiled, and quickened her pace, "Are you going to arrest me?"

"Tch, I'm not so free. If you don't come back, I won't catch you. Just pack me up and take you with you when you leave. I don't have that American time to catch you." Ji Xi looked at him arrogantly for three seconds Then I couldn't help laughing, took the bag from Shu Xia's hand, "Go to the vegetable market again? Isn't there food in the refrigerator?"

"I... plan to return the house." Shu Xia looked at him and said.

"Really?" Ji Xi rubbed his hair with a smile, "I just said it's inconvenient for you to live with me, it's convenient to do everything."

"No, I plan to live at home." Shu Xia said.

Ji Xi was stunned, and grabbed Shu Xia's shoulder, "No, what's the situation? What did you promise? Why are you going back? Aren't you afraid? Why are you going back?"

"I'm the only man in the family. Am I going to throw her away?" Shu Xia lowered her head and said in a low voice, "I'm the only relative she has."

"She's not a child and needs you to watch her all the time." Ji Xi frowned.

"What can I do in her situation?" Shu Xia said with a sigh.

"What about you... in the future?" Ji Xi asked eagerly, "What about the university, do you want to take the exam?"

"Well, Kao, don't worry, it's just living together. I don't want to stay here for the rest of my life, and I won't give up." Shu Xia smiled and pulled his arm, and stepped up the stairs, "Let's go, I'll give you a gift tonight." Make a big meal."

Ji Xi looked at the back of his head, went around in circles, worked for most of the time, and returned to the original place.

"Will you bring her with you when you are admitted to university?" Ji Xi asked.

Shu Xia froze for a moment, walked up slowly, and glanced sideways at Ji Xi, "I don't know, I want to send her to a nursing home, but unfortunately, there are too many difficulties, money, age, her wishes, her illness , Let’s do this first, let’s talk about it after the college entrance examination.”

Ji Xi took his hand: "It's okay, I'm still here!"

Shu Xia smiled and didn't return, she walked up the stairs with her head down, very slowly.

Ji Xi pursed his lips and followed behind.

In the evening, Ji Xi made several meat dishes, and Ji Xi ate them absent-mindedly. Shu Xia’s original appearance is still vivid in his memory. He said that a demon was looking for him, and he found him on the highway. Looking at the highway in silence, he thought he was going to seek death.

I am so afraid of my mother, and now I have to share the same room, what a torment it is, last time I ran out in the middle of the night because of a dream, crying heartbreakingly on the main road, I am obviously very scared, but I still have to take this responsibility .

The same 17-year-old, how can it be so different!

"Shu Xia, can't you... live for yourself?" Ji Xi looked at him, "Live completely for yourself."

Shu Xia bit her chopsticks, was silent for a moment, smiled and said to him: "Brother Xi, I envy you, you are free and easy, you can do whatever you want, you are the side I long for, but... the reality is here, How am I going to live for myself?"

He smiled bitterly, but held back his tears stubbornly, "These months of escaping, I haven't had a single day of peace of mind. It's like a thorn that grows upside down. I can't pull it out. I can only bear it. Maybe..." He didn't want to say the rest, for fear that he couldn't help being discouraged.

"I can help you, everything you said is not a problem." Ji Xi said anxiously.

"Brother Xi." Shu Xia put down the bowl and looked at him seriously, "Don't meddle in my family's affairs from now on, let's just fall in love, okay?"

"...But have you ever thought about my feelings?" Ji Xi put down the bowl and chopsticks, leaned back on the chair, "You didn't want me to do anything, you finally came out, and now you ran back, I watched helplessly You suffer so much and can't do anything, have you considered my feelings?"

"Have you considered my feelings again?" Shu Xia thumped the table uncontrollably, holding her head, "Mei Ting's disease, AIDS, do you know what it means? It can't be cured, and it's still contagious. I'm afraid I'll hurt you, do you know how scared I am every time you go to my house?"

He wept and said: "Mei Ting is so close to you that I'm scared to death, it's very tiring, very tiring, you know that?"

"What about me? Am I not afraid? If you want to get along with her day and night, am I just as frightened? Have you ever considered meeting me?" Ji Xi growled.

"Shu Xia, I'm not a child, I'm your boyfriend, can you treat me as someone you can rely on, not a burden for you!"

"I didn't take you as a burden." Shu Xia gritted her teeth, holding back her tears.

"But to me, I am your burden. Even at your father's funeral, you cooked extra meals. Do I know how I feel?" Ji Xi stood up and turned around twice, shouting as if discouraged, "I His mother is a burden that requires you to take care of him all the time, I am frustrated by your meticulous care, I think you don't want a boyfriend, but you want a pet!"

Ji Xi kicked the chair: "In your eyes, I'm a piece of trash who knows nothing!"

"Ji Xi, you bastard!" Shu Xia cried out, "When did I treat you like trash?"

"From the very beginning, I don't need you to cook and wash clothes for me when I'm tired. I don't need you! What I want is a boyfriend, not a nanny!" Ji Xi said.

Shu Xia shut her mouth, wiped away her tears, put on her backpack and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" Ji Xi called.

"We need to be quiet." After Shu Xia finished speaking, she closed the door.

Ji Xi caught up and grabbed his hand, "Jing Yijing is all bullshit, can you fucking stop running away?"

"I didn't run away!" Shu Xia shook off his hand, "I've worked hard to face everything, what do you want from me?"

"I just want you not to be so tired. I can help you. If you want money or people, I can help you. Why don't you try to rely on me?" Ji Xi tightly grasped Shu Xia's arms , wishing to crush his pride and self-esteem.

"Ji Xi, who are you to me? Who do you think I am?" Shu Xia pushed away his gritted teeth and asked, "I only have this bit of self-esteem left, do you want to crush it too?"

"You help me like this, what do I have to pay back?" Shu Xia asked, "I don't want to be a bloodsucker!"

"I don't need you to pay it back!" Ji Xi roared.

"I don't need your pity and sympathy!" Shu Xia rushed downstairs after speaking a few steps.

"Damn, Shu Xia, stop!" Ji Xi kicked the railing, but failed to catch up.

asshole!

Ji Xi was so angry that he kicked the wall again, leaving a footprint. Damn, who sympathized with him?

To be able to rely on him is to be brave, to be so tired and to be brave, how much is self-esteem worth?Will you die if you rely on him?But...he is Shu Xia!

Ji Xi wiped his face and took him to the door to find him.

Shu Xia was always like this, with strong self-esteem, sensitivity, and stubbornness. He was like this when we met. How could he say that about him?

Damn it, Ji Xi cursed lowly, ran downstairs, panting and ran to the first floor but didn't see anyone.

Damn, what are you doing running so fast?

"Shu Xia!" He yelled, but no one responded.

He followed out, made a phone call while walking, and turned off the phone!

Depend on!

Son of a bitch!Why is it still turned off!

Ji Xi went back to ride his bike, and remembered that Shu Xia's cell phone seemed to be out of battery, and went to cook without having time to charge it when he came back.

asshole!

It's like this every time, always taking care of him carefully, but I'm so tired like a dog, I'm about to fall down without yelling.

Ji Xi wiped away his tears, cursed in a low voice, and rode his bicycle to the corner, climbed upstairs and opened the door, only to see Liu Qiang there.

"Is Shu Xia not here?" Ji Xi asked.

"It's not here yet! What's the matter?" Liu Qiang said in a daze.

"It's okay." Ji Xi dropped the words, turned and went downstairs, got on the bike and ran to the amusement park.

A bastard, quarreled and quarreled, where would he find him if he ran away?

There was no one in the amusement park either.

He went to the highway again.

Still no one.

Damn, he called again in a panic, but the phone was still turned off!

Fuck!

Where did you go?

Scratching my hair, my mind is like a pot of porridge, Internet cafes, playgrounds, highways, what else can I not find?

By the way, he said he was going to check out.

With a low curse, he rode to the place he rented.

I didn't expect it to be so close, so stupid!

Shu Xia was indeed checking out. After chatting with the landlord, he began to pack his things.

I can't find a place to start. He has painstakingly arranged every place. He only lived for less than a semester, and the wallpaper is still new. The landlord said that he only lived for such a short time but spent so much time on the decoration, it's not worth it .

It's not worth it or not, Shu Xia raised her head and wiped back her tears, isn't it just that I don't need you?What's there to cry about, he's already useless, he's living a hypocritical life, who would need him?

No one needs him except Mei Ting.

However, he doesn't need Mei Ting.

Turn out the books and put them neatly into cardboard boxes one by one, quilts, kitchen utensils, clothes and shoes...

But in the half term, he had a lot more clothes and shoes, all of which were chosen by Ji Xi for him, saying that he had no discernment in what he chose.

Looking at the music box on the bed, Shu Xia picked it up and turned it around, but there was no music, and the electronics were out of power and couldn't turn.

When he couldn't sleep at night, he would turn around twice. Look, he was so greedy, he was exhausted, and even Ji Xi couldn't stand it anymore.

Pressing back the tears, he continued to clean up.

Seven or eight carton bags had to be pulled back by a car.

He was elated when he bought it, but he wanted to cry when he packed it up. He put on his bag and planned to go to the street to find a tricycle, but when he went out, he was hugged by someone.

"Shu Xia, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, don't be angry!"

It was Ji Xi, panting and crying.

Shu Xia glanced at the corridor, if someone saw it, it would be over.

He pushed Ji Xi away, and Ji Xi immediately hugged him tightly, "I'm sorry... I was wrong, Shu Xia, I didn't mean to get angry at you, I'm sorry, don't push me away, I'm sorry..."

"Ji Xi, let go first, it's not good to be seen." Shu Xia pushed his waist.

"I see it when I see it, I don't care!" Ji Xi ignored it.

"Ji Xi!" Shu Xia shouted.

Ji Xi let go of his hand, stubbornly took his hand, and looked at him with red eyes.

Shu Xia pulled him into the house and closed the door.

"I'm not angry, I'm just here to pack things up," he said.

Ji Xi buried his head into his side neck, and said in a muffled voice, "I said something wrong, I'm sorry."

"Ji Xi, why don't we...forget it!" Shu Xia whispered.

It feels like everyone is very tired, and he has no extra thoughts to solve other problems. All he can do for Ji Xi is to take care of him. This is the way he likes him to express, but it can only bring him burden and frustration.

What's the point of liking him as a burden?

Ji Xi let go of him, looked into his eyes, and said hoarsely, "Shu Xia, can you say it again?"

"You don't need me." Shu Xia looked up at him, "You said you don't need me anymore."

Ji Xi squeezed his shoulders, laughed at himself, and gritted his teeth, "Shu Xia, you don't fucking like me at all, do you? You treat me like a pet, just take care of me habitually, and want to leave if you don't need it." Man, have you... ever considered how I feel?"

"You were the one who said you didn't need me first, and I also know about etiquette, righteousness, and shame, do you want me to pester you like a beggar?" Shu Xia pushed him away, "Bastard, I still take care of you if I don't like you. Damn sick!"

"But I didn't say let go!" Ji Xi growled, so angry that he wanted to beat him up, "You have a problem with your fucking comprehension, right? What I don't need is your meticulous care."

"But this is all I can do!" Shu Xia yelled back, "I just want to try my best to treat you well. This is the way I can express it. I can't do anything else. I can't do what ordinary couples can do. What do you want me to do?"

Ji Xi: "..."

"I don't have extra time to travel with you, and I don't have extra energy to prepare any surprises for you. I'm already very tired. The only thing I can do is to take care of you. This is the only thing I can do." Shu Xia looked up at him, "You don't need this, so what am I doing with you? Is it a drag on you?"

Ji Xi pulled him into his arms, feeling sore in his heart, "Shu Xia, do you know what it means to be a couple? You don't need to do anything, how can you learn not to be dependent?"

Shu Xia put her arms around his waist and said in a muffled voice: "I'm relying on you now, can't you feel it?"

Ji Xi burst into tears, his dependence was too shallow, it was just a hug, a hug anyone could give.

"You can rely on a little more." He said hoarsely.

"It's enough, I just need this." Shu Xia said.

Ji Xi suddenly felt relieved, but each had different ways of expression and different needs. He wanted Shu Xia to be happy, but the way Shu Xia expressed it was to take care of him.

"In the future, you don't have to think about how to take care of me. I can take care of you too. You can try to rely on me more. I don't feel safe." Ji Xi took a deep breath and sighed. Now that you're gone, I can't even find a reason to catch you."

Shu Xia rubbed his side neck, and said in a low voice: "You are irreplaceable, I met you when I grew up, and I want to give you the best, I won't turn around and leave, I will Always in place."

"But I also want to give you the best." Ji Xi let go, holding his face, "This time it's your fault, you said something discouraging first, do you admit your mistake?"

"Well, admit it, I'm sorry!" Shu Xia nodded obediently.

"Don't let it go easily in the future, I finally found someone I like, and I can't bear to like it too much, I'm afraid you won't be able to bear it and scare you away." Ji Xi sighed and pushed him into his arms.

"Pfft..." Shu Xia couldn't help bursting into laughter, "Ji Xi, in the future, except for Mei Ting's affairs, I will try my best to learn to rely on you, but you can't say that you don't need me, you know you don't need to be right." I mean break up, you understand?"

"Well, okay, I need you, very much!" Ji Xi hugged him tightly.

There are many ways to express love, Shu Xia can't learn others, he is born to only take care of others, he takes care of Mei Ting, takes care of himself, and when he meets Ji Xi, he wants to take care of him.

Since junior high school, no one has relied on him. He is used to carrying it alone. When he can't carry it, just a hug from Ji Xi is enough.

……