camouflage

When Shu Xia entered, Liu Qiang wowed in surprise: "Tsk tsk, the young man is so handsome today!"

"Brother Qiang, have you eaten?" He smiled.

"Eat, your sister-in-law made dumplings to eat, have you eaten?" Liu Qiang sniffed a few times, "Have you eaten hot pot?"

"Well, hot pot." Shu Xia smiled, put her backpack inside the counter, and glanced at the audience. There were relatively few people, seven or eight primary and middle school students, playing games.

"The one at the entrance of the alley?" Without waiting for Shu Xia to come back, Liu Qiang continued: "Your sister-in-law and I also said that we have time to eat once, but we are busy recently, so we can't make time."

Shu Xia groaned, she didn't know whether she was surprised or didn't hear it.

"It's the end of the year, and the thieves are going to work. They take turns guarding them every day, but they caught a lot of pickpockets, so you have to be careful." Liu Qiang pointed at him up and down, "Isn't your outfit cheap?"

"My friend, I haven't had time to change it, Brother Qiang, you go back first, I'll take care of it." Shu Xia said.

Liu Qiang grabbed the car keys and glanced at the store, "Okay, then look, I'm leaving first, and my daughter is at home alone, so I don't feel at ease."

"Well, then go back quickly!"

Liu Qiang's small car is an electric car, it should belong to his wife, it's pink, it looks like an adult riding a child's toy car, and he is afraid that it will fall apart accidentally.

However, although the pink car didn't look very solid, it still led the people out of the alley with a puff.

This store used to be Liu Qiang's house. His parents died in a car accident, leaving him only this little inheritance. After getting married, he converted it into an Internet cafe and bought a small apartment in the city.

Shu Xia withdrew her gaze, took out the textbook and exercises and started to work.

He went out to play for two days, and left a lot of things behind. He was doing the test papers while listening to the listening comprehension. The teacher didn’t know what medicine he took during the holidays. He handed out two or three test papers for each subject, and there were seventeen or eight. stack of .

There is an exotic sound in the earphone, mixed with the sound of typing on the keyboard, which is very familiar, he has been here for the past few years.

If it weren't for his legs still being sore and limp, traveling, dinner parties, boyfriends... would have seemed like a dream of his, but in fact he was still the original him, a lost man who was bound and struggling to leave.

I don't know if I can break free, but I just want to move and feel the circles of vines wrapping around my limbs, so that I can feel that I still have breath.

I can't imagine breaking free from the shackles. The dense vines have penetrated into the flesh and bone marrow. If you cut them off, you will be covered in bruises, lose too much blood, and bleed to death.

In fact...he couldn't break free at all.

Shu Daqing... He actually thought of Shu Daqing?

Shu Xia stopped writing, and the foreign accent in her ears gradually became distant. How is Shu Daqing?He thought about the last time he saw him. It's been a long time since he saw him, is he almost rotten?

Taking out her phone, Mei Ting didn't contact him, even if she did, she pretended not to see him.

Self-deceiving escape, every time there is a phone call, he thinks that no one knows his contact information, then he can live silently in his ivory tower without receiving anyone's message, only occasionally Thinking of it, I took a look outside.

He didn't feel that he was separated from everything. Mei Ting's number was deeply imprinted in his mind, and he couldn't forget it. Only when he thought of the four characters of her number, his brain would automatically report the eleven digits. They are all hidden under any nerve, and as soon as a thought appears, it can't wait to get out.

Shu Xia entered the number familiarly, but did not create a new contact because it was not new.

When he called, his mind was like a mess, and he didn't want her to answer, but why did he call when she didn't answer?

The moment he was connected, he was shocked, and he returned to normal as if he had reacted.

"Hello?" Mei Ting's voice on the phone was weak, as if she was walking in the desert and was extremely dehydrated, reaching the peak of exhaustion and feeling like she might fall down at any time.

Shu Xia couldn't find a word, she held the phone silently, listening to the intermittent breathing inside.

"Is it Xiaoxia?" She asked cautiously.

Be careful... It's Mei Ting's attitude towards him since that incident, and occasionally growl at him indifferently, and after the growl, she is cautious again.

Once bitten by a snake for ten years and afraid of well ropes, Shu Xia is actually very afraid of her.

"It's me, you... are you okay?" He asked hoarsely.

"Xiao Xia, why did you call? You haven't called me for a long time. What's the matter? Is it because the living expenses are not enough, can my mother send it to you?"

Excited, overwhelmed, and happy, she was like a mother who didn't call home very often and suddenly received a one-way phone call from her son one day. Shu Xia almost felt that the past was just a dream, but actually Mei Ting still loved him.

"I'm just asking you, you don't have to worry about living expenses." Shu Xia looked at the small revolving lantern at the door, which was the same as the one at the door of the barber shop. It turned round and round, and each circle had a different color.

"Oh, your father is not well, but I'm fine." The other side was silent for a while, "Xiao Xia, are you okay?"

okay?

Shu Xia doesn't know if she is good or not, she just feels that she is not so tired, so she is good, right?

Putting aside these trivial troubles, he is quite happy, with a wife and a boyfriend.

"It's okay." He felt better.

"Your father may not last long, do you want to come back?" she asked.

The good mood immediately disappeared again. Although he knew it a long time ago, he was still breathless when he heard it. He couldn't get up or down, so he fell silent.

"It doesn't matter if you don't come, anyway, he has caused you a lot of trouble in the past few years." Mei Ting said with a sobbing voice, "Just ask, he is your father after all."

Shu Xia no longer wants to refute that he doesn't want Shu Daqing as a father, it's very naive, who can choose his parents?

They didn't ask him, they brought him into this world, they didn't ask him if he liked this world, and they didn't take good care of him when he was brought into this world, maybe they owed them in the previous life.

"I'm busy recently, let's see what happens!" He didn't refuse, nor agreed.

He has been very busy recently, he has to attend classes, take final exams, find a winter job, play games to make money, cook, read books... There are still more than a dozen test papers that he needs to do.

very busy.

"Okay, take care of yourself, don't read too late, your grades are so good, it's okay to relax once in a while." She said.

Relax?If only he could relax!

He is only the number one in the No. [-] middle school, not the number one in other schools, not the number one in the county, how can he relax?

As soon as he relaxes, he is useless.

"Okay, I'm going to read a book." She didn't want to talk to her, her words of concern couldn't stir up any ripples.

"Okay, okay, I won't bother you anymore, you have to take care of yourself..." Before she could finish speaking, Shu Xia hung up the phone.

He stood up and went to the corridor to take a shower, not in a good mood.

It's useless, Ji Xi's clothes are of good quality and have strong warmth retention properties. He can't feel the cold wind, only the warmth all over his body.

It's warm, but empty.

He went downstairs slowly, passing through two semi-abandoned auto repair shops, and there was a canteen inside. The lights were dim, old-fashioned light bulbs, and the yellow halo dimly illuminated the canteen.

The boss is an old man in his 60s, wearing presbyopic glasses and sitting next to the small electric stove at the door, reading a newspaper, and there are advertisements on the radio for the elderly.

Which health care company is better, Shu Xia subconsciously said in her heart: Shandong, China is looking for Lan Xiang.It's a pity that it's not this... Osteoporosis, sleep quality is too poor... Just use XX brand health care products, the curative effect is good, only 388 yuan, three courses of treatment...

He walked to the door and said in a nonchalant and accustomed tone as much as possible: "A pack of cigarettes, normal, how much?"

The old man raised his head to look at him, pushed the reading glasses that had slipped on the bridge of his nose, put down the newspaper, and took a pack from the glass counter. The counter was full of cigarettes, Shu Xia had never smoked, so he didn't know what brand they were.

But there won't be any branded goods in this place either.

"Ten dollars," said the old man.

Shu Xia took out ten yuan and put it on the counter, turned around and left with a cigarette that she didn't see clearly.

He went back and leaned against the railing of the corridor, tore open the package and took out one, only to find that he didn't even have a lighter, what kind of cigarettes were he smoking?

In fact, it's not that I want to smoke, it's just that it's annoying, and I want to find something to do without worrying about it.

He put the cigarette in the corner of his mouth, and the smell of nicotine filled his nose. It failed to calm down the irritability, but something was better than nothing. He quietly looked at the alley below, his mind was blank, there was nothing but inexplicable annoyance.

Will Shu Daqing die?

That's for sure, everyone dies.

But he is dead, what will Mei Ting do?

Will he be sad?How should I cry when I am sad?

Will you cry?He didn't seem to cry for Shu Daqing, he just felt that he was annoying, but it was his father, and he couldn't find any other way out except to accept it.

When will you die?

There is no answer at all.

Although she hated him, she never thought that he would die one day, and she only hoped that they could live their lives with their ambiguity.

Is he willing to die like this?

It should be resignation!So what if he is not reconciled, he can't even get out of bed now, let alone scold him.

How pitiful and pathetic!

His mood is not very good, this is what Shu Xia can feel, he can't go on like this, he always feels that one day he can't control himself.

He threw the cigarettes in his mouth into the trash can by the door, together with the cigarettes in his pocket, the trash can was really a bucket, a half-person-high blue bucket, used to hold water, and now it was used as a trash can.

It will always pass.

When he started to do the test questions, he suddenly thought of what Ji Xi said.

It will always pass.

Just don't know when.

It's always dark before dawn, but it will come.

All you need is to wait patiently, dance with nightmares occasionally, crush patience under your feet, wake up when there is only a little scum left, pick up the crushed patience little by little, and continue to wait.

The phone ding-dong, it should be a message from Ji Xi, he picked it up to read, Ji Xi sent several messages.

Ji Xueza: I can't accompany you tonight, they have something to settle. [lost]

Ji Xueza: They are too good at playing games.

Ji Xueza: Why did you go?Why don't you reply?

Ji Xueza: Darling, are you asleep?

Shu Xia put down her pen, leaned on the table and replied: I'm working on a question, have you gone back yet?

After waiting for a while without a reply, he stretched himself and continued to work on the questions.

Time passed by, and his mind became more and more confused. He couldn't help lying on the table.

When I opened my eyes, the sky was already bright, not as bright as in summer, but gray with winter chill, although not dazzling, it was bright after all.

The computer screen showed 06:30 in the morning. He rubbed his numbed arm, and the semi-familiar foreign accent was still in the earphones.

He took off the earphones and looked up. It was a junior high school student with messy hair. He had some impression of this person, who often came here to play games.

He even did power leveling once and charged ten yuan.

He didn't understand why he had to stay up all night to play games, but he wasn't curious. Everyone has their own obsessions.

Put away the books and test papers, it was already half done, the handwriting on the top one was scribbled, and even he couldn't understand what was written there, maybe he was too sleepy.

The winter morning is very cold, but the air is very fresh.

He went to the corridor to wake up, and saw Liu Qiang riding that buggy over with a bun still stuffed in his mouth.

"Have you eaten?" He asked, looking up.

Shu Xia shook her head, stretched her waist, and asked casually, "Brother Qiang, how long are you going to drive here?"

"What's the matter?" Liu Qiang was puzzled, and parked the stroller next to the electric pole downstairs, and locked it, "Maybe it's a lifetime, and it's still empty, so I can't sell it, after all, they left it for us." The only thing I have left."

"Is it very precious?" Shu Xia asked.

"It's not precious, it's just a memory. You have to keep something to prove that you have been in this world." Liu Qiang walked upstairs and said quite maturely.

"Whether it's a house, a photo, or someone's memory, there has to be a place, so that we don't live in vain."

"You are very philosophical today." Shu Xia said with a smile.

"Fart, it's all nonsense." Liu Qiang said, "After all, they are the people who gave birth to you and raised you, and their traces cannot be erased. I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to remember their appearance, so leaving a house can be a comfort. "

Shu Xia looked at him silently, went in and picked up her schoolbag and said, "Then I'll go first."

"okay."

What will Shu Daqing leave behind?

The shabby house, the notoriety, or the disgusting memories in his mind?

What will he leave behind?

Transcript?Or is it the memory of "that top student in class three, what's his name? Just learn that..." in other people's minds?As time passed, his appearance gradually blurred and disappeared, until no one knew there was such a person.

Those great men who remain in memory only leave their glorious deeds, but no one knows his hobbies and temper.

People always love to forget.

It may be that there are too many things to remember, and after a long time, they will be gradually forgotten.

Shu Xia doesn't want to remember too many things, just being able to remember Ji Xi has already filled his brain capacity.

It's still early, I don't have any appetite for breakfast, Ji Xi didn't reply to his message, it must be because he hasn't woken up yet, Shu Xia doesn't want to disturb him.

He returned to the shelter alone.

I haven't come back for a few days, the room is deserted, and every corner is soaked in chill.

Only the music box is still quietly on the windowsill, and the rabbit is gnawing on carrots, the only warm color here.

He washed up casually and climbed into bed to sleep.

The cold bed, the biting chill, the empty room, he was suddenly very lonely.

Getting up and putting the music box next to the pillow, he took a look at it reassuringly, then curled up into a ball and took out his phone to look at it.

Ji Xi didn't reply to him, he glanced at the time of Ji Xi's last message, it was [-]:[-], did you go back so late?

He backed out, closing his eyes in peace.

……