deep cabinet

The funny thing is, the night A came to my dorm, he asked my roommate if I had a girlfriend.

I said to myself, it's not you.

The more I think about it, the more machismo grows. Seeing that my roommates like him quite a lot, I feel honored.Seeing him chatting too happily with Xiaojian (bodybuilding classmate) and getting a little jealous, I told him to concentrate on watching the board.

Later, it was closed and sent him out of the dormitory.

It was late at that time, and the downstairs was quite deserted. He said that he was going to the library to pick up his girlfriend.

It was only then that I realized that I was gaining a sense of vanity by imagining myself, probably because I was jealous that he had a real girlfriend. Is this going too far?

Then came the football thing.

At that time, I went to the building where he lived to find golf friends.Passing a door, I heard someone calling me inside. The door was closed, but there was a hole in the middle. I looked down and saw A.He said he saw me passing by in the water room just now.

But I looked into the water room when I passed by, because I was wondering if I would meet him before, but there was obviously no one in the water room at that time.I just feel a little guilty.

Invite him to play football together.

He was doing well as a goalie, and then he came on the field to fight for the ball with me, and I knocked him down, and I fell on him, so squarely, that he almost caught him completely.

When I saw A writing this paragraph, he said that his mind was blank and he would be very involved in the current feelings, and so did I.

And my feelings are new.I can't explain clearly, it doesn't refer to the reaction of the lower body, but the whole body has a reaction, it's not too strong, it's just relatively clear.

After everyone gathered around, this feeling disappeared, but I remembered it in my heart.

In this fall, A's head was broken and his nose was bleeding.

Originally, someone who could ride a bicycle should be found to take him to the hospital.

But I really wanted to get out of the crowd with him, and there happened to be three rounds on the sidelines.All the way to the hospital, I was very unsteady, not knowing what to feel when I fell down.

So when I came back from the hospital, when A had another nosebleed, I somehow told him that I would not be his boyfriend, probably to cover up my guilty conscience.

As a result, my relationship with A became awkward.

The comfort of treating each other like friends in the past is gone forever.And the new feeling didn't take shape.

I have a sense of crisis, and I must face up to my feelings about boys, and I can't let it exist like an unknown.

I will make the worst assumption first, that is, I really have feelings for A. (Worst assumption! Me???)

Then start the comparative experiment.

I want to say sorry to Xiaojian, I used him as an experiment subject.

Xiaojian is my best friend.

He has never had any concept of keeping a distance between people.

I just happened to send A to the hospital with a scratch on his hand. That week I was more dependent on Xiaojian and had more physical contact, such as asking him to help him take a bath and teaching him how to play golf.

But after the experiment, my feelings for him have not changed, and the two of us are still like good brothers. (You scumbag, what if something changes!)

After the reverse verification, I did the forward verification again.

On the day I went to pick up my younger brother for A, I came back late from the pick-up station, and I could go back to the dormitory if I wanted to, but A asked me if I wanted to stay in the hotel he booked, so I stayed.

In the middle of the night, I switched from my brother's bed to A's.

From the seriousness of the experiment, I should have been on him like I was on the court.

But no need.

Because as soon as my body was close to his body, that feeling on the court came back.