Mauritius

Live here, on the first floor. "

"Oh, here!" Durham turned on the lamp.The fire in the grate was almost exhausted by now.He told Maurice to sit down and brought over the table and glasses.

"How much?"

"Thanks—enough, enough."

"With soda or plain?" he asked, yawning.

"With soda," Morris said.He could not sit for long, for Durham was tired and had only invited him in out of courtesy.After drinking, he went back to his room.He smoked a lot in the house and came out to the yard again.

Everything was silent and pitch black.Maurice paced up and down the holy lawn, soundlessly, burning in his heart.Little by little the rest of the body fell asleep, and it was his mind, the weakest organ, that fell asleep first.His body then fell asleep, and then his feet sent him upstairs to escape the dawn.The fire ignited in his heart will never be extinguished, and he finally has a real part on his body.

The next morning, his mind gradually calmed down.Because of the rain the night before, he caught a cold and overslept.Not only did he not go to church, he also missed two classes.It was impossible to get his life back on track.After lunch, he changed his clothes and prepared to play football. Seeing that he still had enough time, he lay down on the sofa.Turned out to sleep until tea time.Not hungry, he turned down an invitation and wandered out into the street to take a steam bath.This cured his cold, only to miss another class.It was time for dinner in the great dining room, but he had no intention of meeting the old school friends of Sunnington.He didn't say hello in advance, was absent without authorization, and had a meal alone in the student union.He saw Risley there, but he was cold to Risley.Night fell again.Maurice found that his mind was very quick, and he was amazed that he could complete six hours of homework in three hours.He went to bed at his usual bedtime, and awoke healthy and happy.An instinct deep in his subconscious advised him not to think about Durham or about Durham for twenty-four hours.

Since then, the two of them have seen each other occasionally.Durham invited Maurice to lunch, and Maurice invited him back again.A prudence that was not in his nature was at work, he never worked on it, but this time he was extremely cautious.He became very vigilant, and during the semester that began in October, all his behavior could be described as "struggle", but he never set foot in dangerous areas.He peeped Durham's strengths and weaknesses.Most importantly, he exercised and strengthened his abilities.

Had he been compelled to ask himself, "What is this for?" he would have replied, "Drams are what interests me." But he had not asked himself, but kept his mouth shut, his heart shut, and he went straight on. .Time after day, together with all kinds of contradictions, faded into the abyss.He knows he's making progress and the rest doesn't matter.If he works hard and gets along well with his classmates, it's just a collateral reaction, and he doesn't care at all.Climb up, reach out towards the mountainside until someone's hand grabs it.He was born for this purpose.He forgot his own morbid excitement on the first night, and his even more wondrous recovery.That was him saying goodbye to the past.His state of mind had nothing to do with tenderness or affection, and when he thought of Durham he was calm.He was convinced Durham didn't dislike him, and that was enough for him.One step at a time, he didn't even have any hope.Because hope would distract him, and there were too many things he had to attend to.

The next semester (Annotation: The academic year at Cambridge University starts in October each year. The whole year is divided into three semesters, each semester is about eight and a half weeks. The three semesters are Michaelmas Semester, Lent Semester, Re-entry Semester "Festival term. "Next term" means Lent term.) Initially, the two of them became close.

"Hall, I almost wrote you during the holidays," said Durham, as soon as he saw Maurice.

"is it?"

"And yet it's tediously long to write. It's been a hell of a time."

His tone was not very serious.Then Maurice said: "What's wrong? Is there something wrong with the Christmas pudding?"

It was not long before he learned that pudding could be used as an allegory, and a violent quarrel broke out in the Durhams' house.

"I don't know what you'll say--if you don't find it annoying, I'd like to hear your opinion on the matter."

"Not at all annoying," said Maurice.

"We had a lot of quarrels about religion."

At this time, Chapman's arrival disturbed them.

"Excuse me, we're talking," Morris told him.

Chapman is gone.

"You don't have to do that, you can listen to my nonsense anytime you want," Durham objected, but he went on more seriously.

"Hall, I don't want to bother you with my beliefs—or rather my lack of beliefs. But in order to explain the situation, I must tell you that I am a heretic and I am not a Christian. "

According to Morris, heresy is evil.At a symposium held in the college last semester, he once expressed such an opinion: If a person has doubts about Christianity, he should also have the grace to keep his mouth shut.However, all he said to Durham was "faith is a very troublesome problem, the scope is too large".

"I know—it's not about faith, put that aside." He stared at the fire for a moment. "It's a matter of how my mother sees it. I told her six months ago—in the summer—and she didn't mind. She made the usual silly jokes, and that was all, and it was over. I am relieved, because this has been on my mind for many years. When I was a child, I discovered that there are things that are more beneficial to me than Christianity, and I have never believed in God since. When I got to know Risley and his group, Just wanted to tell it all. You know how important they take honesty, it's really their main focus. So I told my mother. She said, 'Oh, yeah? You're going to be a little bit my age. Be smart.' It was the mildest reaction I could imagine, and I left the house happy. But on this vacation, it's all a problem again."

"why?"

"Why? Because of Christmas. I don't want to take communion. Christians are supposed to take communion three times a year."

"Ah, I know, communion."

"At Christmas, it became a problem. I said I was never going, and my mother, uncharacteristically, coaxed me to take communion this time to please her. Then she got angry and said I Would damage my reputation and hers. We are local squires surrounded by uneducated people. But what I can't bear is my mother's last words. Mother said I was evil. If she said it, it would be half a year As I said before, I can accept her point of view, but not now! In order to make me do things without faith, now I use such heavy words as evil and good. I told her that I have my own holy 'My gods will kill me if I go to my communion the way you and our girls attend yours!' That's a strong statement, I'm afraid. gone."

Maurice didn't quite understand what he meant, so he asked, "So, have you gone?"

"where to?"

"Church."

Durham jumped to his feet with a look of disgust on his face.Then he bit his lip.smiling.

"No, Hall, I didn't go to church. I take that to be self-evident."

"I'm sorry—I beg you to sit down. I didn't mean to offend you. My brains are too dull."

Durham squatted on the rug next to Maurice's chair.After a while, he asked, "Have you known Chapman a long time?"

"It's been five years since I went to public school."

"Oh." He seemed to be thinking. "Give me a cigarette and put it in my mouth, thank you." Maurice thought that the talk about faith was over, but after puffing out the cigarette, he continued. "Listen to me—you told me you had a mother and two sisters, just like me. I kept wondering during that quarrel, what would have happened to you?"

"Your mother must be different from mine."

"What was your mother like?"

"She doesn't make a fuss about anything."

"Because you have never done anything that disapproved of her, and I suppose you never will."

"Oh, no. My mother doesn't want to tire herself out."

"I can't tell. Hall, especially women. I'm disgusted with my mother. That's what really bothers me, and I want your help."

"She'll change her mind."

"That's true, dear boy. But me? I must have pretended to love her. This quarrel has shattered my lies. I really thought I'd given up lying. I hate her character, She revolts me. Here, I tell you something that no one else in the world knows."

Maurice clenched his fist and tapped Durham lightly on the head. "Bad luck," he whispered.

"Tell me about your ~ family life."

"There's nothing to talk about, we just get along like this."

"You lucky ones."

"Oh, I don't know, Durham, you're joking,