Mauritius

It's time to go to bed.He told his wife afterwards that Maurice should have stayed in bed too. "Finished his life there. He'll be like that, just like his father. What's the use of a man like that?"

Maurice finally managed to get into bed, the bedroom that had always terrified him.He had acted like a man all night, but when his mother said goodnight and kissed him goodbye, the old feelings came back.It was the mirror at work.He didn't mind his own face reflected in the mirror, nor did he care about his own reflection on the ceiling, but he was afraid that his reflection on the ceiling would be reflected in the mirror.He moved the candle away so as to unravel the combination, then summoned up the courage to put it back in its place, suddenly panicked again.He knew exactly what it was, it didn't remind him of anything terrible, but he was scared.Finally, he extinguished the candle and jumped under the covers.He could bear the darkness, but the room had a more serious flaw than a mirror: it faced a street lamp.Some nights, with luck, the light shone through the curtains without any alarm.Sometimes, however, a black blotch like a skull would settle on the furniture, and his heart would be pounding violently, and he would lie in panic, even though the whole family was close at hand.

He opened his eyes to see if the dark spots had shrunk.Then he thought of George.In the unfathomable depths of my heart, I don't know what is squirming.He murmured, "George, George." Who was George?Nobody—an ordinary servant.Mom, Ada, and Kitty were far more important than him.However, after all, he was too young to think carefully.He didn't even realize that when he was immersed in sorrow, he subdued the ghost in his heart and fell asleep.

Sunnington was the next stage in Maurice's life.He traversed unnoticed.His grades were poor, better than he pretended to be, and sports were not outstanding.If people notice him, they like him because he has a cheerful and friendly face, and he responds immediately to the concerns of others.Yet there are plenty of boys like him—they form the backbone of the school, and it's impossible to see every one of them.He walked an ordinary road—he was locked up and flogged once, and as a student of classical literature, he was promoted step by step, at least to the sixth grade.He became the dormitory supervisor, later the school supervisor, and was selected as a football player.In spite of his clumsiness, he was strong and well-boned.Well, he's not very good at cricket.As a freshman, he had been bullied; he in turn bullied students who seemed sullen or weak, not because he was cruel, but because it was commonplace.In short, he made a vague but favorable impression as a mediocre member of a mediocre school. "Hall? Wait a minute, who is Hall? Ah, yes, now that I think about it, that guy is not bad."

All these are superficial phenomena, but deep down he is confused.He had lost the precocious personality of his childhood, when he had idealized and explained the universe to the conclusion that it was full of wondrous insights and beauties. "From the mouths of babies and puppies..." Not the words of a 16-year-old.Maurice had forgotten that he had ever been asexual, and now, at the age of maturity, he realized how sound and wise his childhood perceptions were.Now he has sunk much lower than then, for he is heading toward the valley of the shadow of life. valley of the valley".) down.The valley is located between low mountains and high mountains, and no one can pass through it unless they first absorb the mist that permeates there.He spent more time exploring inside than most teenagers.

Everything is vague and unreal, resembling a dream.Maurice had two dreams at school.They can symbolize him in this period.

In the first dream he felt very irritable.He was playing football against a featureless man whom he loathed so much.He tried to see clearly, and the indistinguishable figure suddenly became George the little gardener.But he had to be careful, or that person would reappear.George ran toward him along the field, naked, leaping over the firewood piles. "I'd go crazy if he got off the hook now," said Maurice.It happened as soon as he and George had caught each other, and he was awakened by a violent disappointment.He hadn't connected it with Mr. Douchy's preaching, much less with the second dream, and yet he thought he was going to be sick, and then he thought it was punishment for something.

The second dream was more difficult to explain, and nothing happened.He barely saw the face, and barely heard a voice: "This is your friend." It was over.Yet it filled his heart with goodness and made him tender.For such a friend, he would die, and he would allow such a friend to die for himself.They are willing to make any sacrifices to each other, regardless of the dunya.Neither death nor distance nor discord can alienate them, because "this is my friend."Soon after, he was confirmed (translation note: also translated as "confirmation ceremony". Christian etiquette, which symbolizes the strengthening of a person's relationship with God through baptism. This leads to grace, strength, and courage given by the Holy Spirit.).He tried to convince himself that the friend must be Christ.But Jesus Christ had a dirty beard.Was he a Greek god?As drawn in the classical dictionary ?Most likely yes.Yet he is most likely just a mortal.Maurice restrained himself from further attempts to elucidate his dream.Instead, he dragged the dream into reality.He would never meet that person again, let alone hear that voice, but they were more real than any phenomenon in the real world, so this caused this thing:

"Hall! You are dreaming again! You are punished for copying a hundred lines!"

"Teacher—ah! Absolute dative case.

"Dream again, enough is enough."

On such an occasion, he was dragged back to his dream in broad daylight, and the curtain was drawn.So I was immersed in that face and those six words again.When he came out of the curtain, he yearned for tenderness and kindness, because this was the wish of his friend.In order to make his friends like him more, he has to be a kind person.For some reason, all this happiness was accompanied by pain.He really didn't seem to have a single friend except this one.He found a lonely place to cry, and blamed it on his punishment for copying a hundred lines.

Now we know the privacy of Maurice's life, part sensual, part ideal, like his dreams.

As soon as the body matures, he becomes obscene.He supposed it was a special curse, but he couldn't help it.Because obscene thoughts go through your head even when you're taking communion.The fashion at the school was chaste--that is, a startling scandal had occurred not long before his admission.The black sheep was expelled, and the rest of the students were shackled by heavy academic work all day and watched at night.Fortunately or unfortunately, he had little opportunity to exchange ideas with his classmates.He longed to say dirty things, but he rarely heard them from anyone, much less himself.His main obscenity was done alone.Books, the school library was immaculate, yet while staying at his grandfather's house he found an unabridged Martial Famous inscription writer, is the founder of modern aphorism poetry. People accused his poems of two shortcomings: flattery and obscenity.) book.He stuttered and read, his ears burning.Thoughts, he stored some erotic thoughts.After the novelty of the behavior passed, he found that this behavior brought him more fatigue than pleasure, so he restrained himself from then on.

You know, all of this happened in a comatose state.Maurice was asleep in the shaded glen, far from the tops of the hills on either side, and he knew nothing of it, much less that his schoolmates were also asleep.

The other half of his life seems to be far removed from immorality.After entering the senior class, he began to regard a certain boy as the goal he pursued wholeheartedly.Whether the boy was older or younger than Maurice, Maurice laughed loudly, said silly things, and couldn't work hard when he was there.Maurice dared not show him friendliness--that would be unseemly--much less admiration in words.Before long, the boy he adores dumps him, leaving him morose.However, he also had his revenge.Other teenagers admired him sometimes, and once he knew it, he dumped them.Once, both parties fell in love with each other and didn't understand what they were attached to, but the result was the same.A few days later, the two had a quarrel.What emerged from a piece of wonton were the two feelings of beauty and tenderness that he had realized in his dream.They grow year by year, like plants with green leaves, but no signs of flowering.When Sunnington's studies were coming to an end, it was no longer long.The complex growth process is inhibited.Silence followed.The young man looked around very timidly.

He's about to turn 19.

On the annual awards day, he stands at the pulpit and recites a speech written in Greek by himself.the lecture hall is packed