Mauritius

But in an instant, he restrained himself.No matter what happened, he must not collapse.Clive had had enough of it that time, and it had been in vain.To break down in this increasingly gray wilderness means to go mad.To be strong, to keep a cool head, and to trust in the other—on which he still pinned his last hope.But the disappointment that suddenly hit his heart told him that his body could no longer bear it.He had been running around since early in the morning, torn down by all kinds of emotions, and he was about to fail.After a while he'd decide what to do next, but now that his headache was splitting and his body ached like a broken frame, he had to rest.

The boathouse is a convenient resting place.He walked in and found his lover sleeping soundly.Alek slept on a stack of cushions, faintly visible in the last twilight.When he awoke, he seemed neither agitated nor bored, and after caressing Maurice's arm with both hands for a moment, he said: "You have the telegram, then."

"What telegram?"

"I sent you a telegram home to tell you..." He yawned, "I'm sorry, I'm a little tired, this and that... tell you, make sure you come here." Murray Adams was silent, he really couldn't say anything.So Alek added: "Now we don't have to break up anymore, it's just decided."

Clive was trying to work on the proofs of the appeal to voters.Because after the typeface is arranged.He suddenly felt a condescending arrogance in the article, which did not conform to the current trend.At this moment Simcox announced: "Mr. Hall." It was late and dark.In the sky, the trace of the magnificent sunset has disappeared.He could see nothing from the porch, but all kinds of noise kept coming to his ears.His friend refused to come in, and was kicking pebbles and pebbles at bushes and walls.

"Come in, Maurice. What are you up to?" he asked, a little annoyed.Now that I'm standing in the dark, I don't have to bother putting on a smiling face. "How nice to see you back. Hope you're better. Unfortunately I don't have time, and the Auburn House happens to be vacant. Come in and sleep here like you used to. Nice to see you."

"I'm only a few minutes late, Clive."

"Hey, boy, there's no such thing as absurdity." In a sign of hospitality, he walked into the darkness, still holding the proof pages. "If you don't stay here for the night, Anne will be very angry with me. It's very kind of you to come to me like this. Now I have to do some trivial things at hand, and I beg your pardon." Then he became aware of the darkness in the surrounding gloom. All of a sudden, they felt anxious and uneasy, and couldn't help exclaiming: "I hope nothing bad happened."

"Everything went smoothly... so to speak."

Now Clive puts politics aside.Because he knew that this must be a love affair, so he was going to express his sympathy.However, he thought it would be nice if Maurice hadn't come to him for help when he was so busy.Balance sustains him.He led Maurice into the deserted lane behind the laurel bushes, where the evening primroses shone and the night walls adorned with yellowish reliefs.Here, they can enjoy absolute silence.Clive groped to find a bench, lay down on his back, put his head on his hands, and said, "I am willing to help you. However, I advise you to sleep here overnight and discuss it with Annie tomorrow morning."

"I don't need your advice."

"Ah, of course it's all yours. But you've been very kind and told us all about your expectations. Since it's about a woman, if it were me, I'd be sure to discuss it with another woman, especially one like Anne, a woman of almost superhuman insight."

The flowers on the opposite side flicker.Clive felt again that his friend swaying before the flowers was the night itself.A voice reached his ears: "It's much worse for you than this. I'm in love with your gamekeeper." The words were so abrupt that he sounded meaningless.So he asked foolishly: "Is it Mrs. Ayers?" Then he sat up.

"No, it's Scudder."

"Watch out," he called, glancing into the darkness.Knowing that there were no outsiders, he was relieved, and said bluntly: "What a weird statement."

"Extremely grotesque," the voice echoed. "But I think that since I owe you the favor, I should make a special trip to tell you about Alek."

Clive understood only the bare minimum.He imagined that Maurice was only referring to "Scudder" as a metaphor, as he was referring to "Genemedes". Raided by the gods or by Zeus who turned into an eagle to be a wine boy.) Like.Because it was simply unimaginable for him to be close to anyone whose social class was lower than his own.In fact, he was frustrated and angry because he had expected Maurice to be physically and mentally healthy for the last fortnight, and he had encouraged Anne to be friendly with him. "Anything we could do for you, we did," he said, "and if you want to reciprocate because you're 'in debt'—to use your own words—you don't always think A very disgusting thing. I am very disappointed to hear you talk about yourself like that. When we went over the subject that night in the Auburn Room, the period in which you made me feel abnormal was finally over."

"You actually kissed my hand at that time." Morris deliberately ridiculed him.

"Don't mention that." He flew into a rage, not for the first time nor for the last time.So Maurice, the outlaw, had a short-lived love for him.Then, Clive reverts to his true colors as an intellectualist. "Maurice—I can't express how sorry I am for you. Please, please resist this obsessive thought, and let it haunt you no longer. If you will resist, the thought will Gone forever. Jobs, fresh air. Your friends..."

"As I said just now, I'm not here to take your advice, or to talk about ideas and concepts. I'm a man of flesh and blood. If you'll condescend to show an interest in these not top-notch things—"

"Yes, very much. I know I'm a tiresome ideologue."

"If you will mention the name Alek."

This reminds them of the incident a year ago.Now, however, it was Clive's turn to shudder when he heard the name. "If Alec is Scudder, he is no longer working for me, not even in England. Just today, he sailed for Buenos Aires. But you say Go on. If it can help you in any way, I am willing to repeat the old story."

Maurice puffed out his cheeks, let out a breath, and set about picking the little yellow flowers off the tall stems one by one.They disappeared one after another, as if the candles were extinguished at night. "I shared it with Alec," he said after some thought.

"What was shared?"

"Everything I have, including my body."

Clive gave a whimper of disgust and jumped to his feet.He wished he could beat the monster and run away.But he was a cultivated man who knew how to restrain his emotions.They were, after all, from Cambridge... Both men were hardcore members of society.He must not use violence, and he does not resort to violence.He remained calm throughout and was willing to lend a helping hand.But his shallow, harsh reproaches, his obstinacy, and his dullness of feeling repelled Maurice.Maurice could only pay homage to the abomination.

"I may offend you by saying this," he went on, "but I must make you understand. Alek and I slept in the Auburn Room the night you and Annie were away."

"Maurice—oh, my God!"

"Still in London. Still in—" At this point Maurice swallowed the following words.

Even in times of extreme disgust, Clive manages to generalize things.as a means of escape.This tendency to leave matters in a state of indifference was one of the phenomena which marriage brought upon him. "But there's no doubt about it—the only thing that justifies a relationship between men is that it's ultimately purely spiritual."

"I don't understand. I'm here to tell you what I did." Yes, that's why he came to visit.He thus closed a book, never to read it again.Rather than leaving the book dirty, it is better to close it.The book of their past must be returned to its original shelf.Here, among the dark and dead flowers, is that place.He still owed Alec a favor.He never allows the old to be mixed into the new.All compromises are perfunctory and therefore dangerous.After confessing, he must disappear from the world that raised him. "I still have to tell you what he did." He tried to suppress his joy. "He sacrificed his future for my sake...he had no assurance that I would give up anything for him...the original me would never give up anything...I was always too late to see through. I don't know if it's a spiritual relationship or not, but that's what he did."

"How did you sacrifice?"

"I'll see him off—he's not there—"

"Has Scudder missed the ship?" cried the squire angrily. "These guys are hopeless