Mulberry elm twilight

After Shen Mu quietly listened to the doctor's words, she was in a trance for a moment.Just like the soul in this body disappeared inexplicably, the remaining body became a puppet that was not pulled by anyone, but he did not forget how to walk, so when Shen Mu finally recovered, he was a little surprised that he actually walked. It's been so long, and it's gone so far.

There is a temple in front of me, and the sunset glow reflects the bright yellow eaves of the temple red and red, like blood.

Shen Mu stared at the bloody patch and couldn't help being lost again.

He has been here for two consecutive years.It was the first time I came to ask about the marriage, and I signed a letter telling him not to force him any more.The second time I didn't give up and asked again, I signed the paper and asked him to let go.It's been another year since that time, this time he doesn't have to ask about the marriage, but he can ask about the disease, but he has just been diagnosed in the hospital, so what is left to ask now?

During the 29 years, I was ignorant for sixteen years, and I couldn't get what I asked for for ten years. In the last three years, I was ignorant and filled myself with work.Now looking back suddenly, there is no moment of clarity, except this moment.

It turns out that only when people face "death" will they wake up.Being ignorant of the years is a process that everyone must go through, and getting what you want begins with your obsessive heart. The longer the time, the more unwilling to let go, because once you let go halfway, you will feel that the previous years were wasted Lost, but is this not a selfish idea?It's just that I don't want to suffer myself.But in fact, if he had stopped earlier, he would have been freed one day earlier, but this truth was not understood until this moment.

Forget it, there is no medicine for regret in the world, and if you want to talk about regret, it is not really a thing, it is just a hard pursuit in vain.

Shen Mu still stood motionless at the gate of the temple, until the familiar pain swept over him, and he realized that he couldn't fall here and cause trouble for others.So in the darkness, he gritted his teeth and took a step forward, but accidentally tripped over a stone step because his vision was already blurred, and he fell on the uneven stone step.It's just that the pain in his body was less than one ten-thousandth of the pain in his head. Shen Mu stretched out his hands to hold on to the bluestone slab. Amidst bursts of heart-piercing pain, he finally fell into a coma due to exhaustion.

"The benefactor is awake."

Agarwood smells tangy, and the room is silent.

Shen Mu slowly opened his eyes, his eyesight didn't recover for a while, he just felt that he was in a quiet place, and before all the reality came back to his mind, he suddenly felt a burst of peace, this kind of peace seemed to have never been there before.

"Sorry...for causing you trouble." Shen Mu said casually.

"It's a little effort, is the benefactor safe?" the other party said again.

"I...in the temple?" Realizing that the other party called herself "the donor", Shen Mu remembered where she was before she fell into a coma.

"Yes, the benefactor passed out outside the temple."

Shen Mu waited for the black mist in front of him to disperse, and slowly saw a lamp like a bean, an old monk in monk's robe guarding his bedside.

Shen Mu struggled to sit up, but the old monk stretched out his hand and pressed gently: "The benefactor should continue to rest here, it's not too late to leave tomorrow."

When he said that, Shen Mu didn't refuse, nodded slightly, and closed his eyes again.

Then, he had a dream.

In the dream, Sang Jingyu was holding someone's hand, with a dazzling smile on his lips, he lowered his head and kissed that hand, his eyes were so gentle that water dripped out, when he raised his head again, his eyes It seemed to be towards himself, and the smile on the corner of his lips had long since disappeared without a trace.

"When will you give up, I don't want to see you anymore."

Sang Jingyu said coldly.

Shen Mu was awakened suddenly by those emotionless eyes. When he opened his eyes, he saw a strange scene. He sat up immediately, but because of his too hasty movements, his eyes became black again.

He lowered his head and waited for a while, then raised his eyes and looked around, and found that the walls were empty, the room was not big, and there was only one window.The sun shines in from the window, making it look warm, and there is only this one-person-wide wooden bed under him in the room.

At this moment, he finally remembered why he was here.

Everything was very quiet, I got out of bed with the edge of the bed, walked out of the room, walked up the corridor, and saw a square courtyard.The courtyard was swept immaculately, and there was no sound around, as if no one lived there.At this moment, Shen Mu was attracted by the setting sun in the courtyard.He walked over to bathe in it, his cold limbs felt warm under the sunlight, he couldn't help closing his eyes, feeling the warmth they brought him.

"The tumor has already compressed your optic nerve, and the situation is extremely unstable. If this continues, the consequences will be disastrous. It is best to perform surgery as soon as possible."

The doctor told him so.

Shen Mu was unwilling to have an operation, he told the doctor that he wanted conservative treatment.

He is not superstitious, but in today's society, he knows too many cases where even surgery cannot be cured, and then there are constant chemotherapy and medication, and rely on those support to spend the rest of his life in the hospital.Shen Mu doesn't want to do this, even if it has been diagnosed as malignant, even if the end is probably death, he also hopes to not die like that, at least he can choose his favorite resting place, such as the sunshine that warms him at this moment.He has long been tired of having no choice. In the past, he would never hit the south wall and never look back, but now, in the face of death, he feels that nothing is important anymore.Now, he just wants to feel the details of life that he has forgotten and neglected in his last days, so that when he faces death, at least he will not feel sorry for them.

"Master, why did you choose to believe in Buddhism?" Shen Mu asked when seeing the old monk again.

"Because Buddha saves sentient beings." The old monk replied.

"Then... can he ferry me?" Shen Mu couldn't help asking.

"If you believe, you can, because the Buddha is in everyone's heart."

"Then, if you only believe it now, is there still time?"

"If you can realize enlightenment right away, you can become a Buddha right away, so any time is too late."

When leaving the temple, Shen Mu had an extra "Diamond Sutra" in his hand.