Sunny Doll

Sun Meng sat in the psychology room, stroked the yellowed textbook in his hand, followed the guidance of the page number, and read the words left by Yang Chen back then.

Even if he doesn't read Yang Chen's annotations, he already knows by heart which page those words are on and their content.

It's just that every time, I still get used to reading it in the order Yang Chen wrote.

How much effort does it take to recall one thing.

Liu Mengqi once said that Yang Chen's departure left a scar in everyone's heart.

After so many years, has the scar in his heart healed?

Maybe healed, maybe not.

Time can heal some wounds, but it cannot heal the person in memory.

Sun Meng once wrote in his diary:

There are rumors on the Internet that 2013 will be the end of the world. I never believed it, but I later learned that 2013 is really the end of the world.

……

Since the day we met again, you have been knocking on the door of my heart.

When you hold the key, I will be like a dead tree, and it will be spring.

I have thought countless times, how can there be such a good person in the world?

I have met such a nice person, how can I fall in love with someone else?

I thought you'd be with me all the time, I thought we'd go on like so many nights before.

But without any warning, you suddenly disappeared.

I never imagined that you would have such a disease.

……

There are too many things I haven't had time to do with you, and there are too many words I haven't had time to say to you.

And in my world, you are no longer there.

After you leave, only winter remains in my life.

……

In college, I left here and went to the South.

The south we once dreamed of together.

The place I went to was often rainy, and the wind was always strong in winter, but it was very humid, engulfed in water vapor, and it was cold on the face, but it didn't hurt.

There are sweet-scented osmanthus flowers in the school, which bloom in September. Its aroma is very good, the kind that fills the soul. When I smell them, I always think of you.

Sometimes this world is very strange. Thousands of miles away, you can always meet people who are similar to your old friends.

I also met someone who was very similar to you, just in appearance.

Because of his appearance, I still get close to him, I treat him like you did to me back then.

Then one day, he asked me, why are you so nice to me?

I said, I want to find someone who treats you as well as I do.

He said, are you in love with yourself? I smiled and said, maybe.

But I know, what I love is not myself, what I love is you.

I love you like a whale to the sea and a bird to the forest.Inevitable, no retreat.

……

Walking in the rain in the south, I found that I still like the north. The sky is not blue, it is always pale and bright, and the wind is also very dry, which will crack people's faces.

But it is precisely because of this that he looks forward to the blue sky.

I like the windless sunny days in the north, and the clean and pure sunshine in the north, just like you.

Later, I came back here.

The smog in winter is much lighter, and the catkins still fly like that in April. At eleven o'clock in the evening, on those bright nights, I often walk around the school.

It's just that you are gone.

Sleeping alone, the night is hard to understand, and no one will touch my dreams.

At four o'clock in the morning, I suddenly woke up, and the crabapple flower was still awake.

……

you are not by my side.

—End of full text —

The author has something to say: I love you like a whale to the sea and a bird to the forest.Inevitable, no retreat. —— Huang Biyun

At four o'clock in the morning, I saw that the crabapple flowers were still awake.I always feel that you should be by my side at this time. ——Kawabata Yasunari