Life is like a journey

The sky is an upside-down sea, blue as far as the eye can see, the wind blows over, and the chrysanthemums are all over the mountains and plains.

Lu Qingshi was dressed in black, and put the white chrysanthemum in his arms in front of the tombstone. It was a joint burial, with his father's name and his mother's name next to each other.

Gu Yanzhi poured two glasses of Moutai from the basket and handed it to her. Lu Qingshi took it and sprinkled it in front of the grave. She didn't say a word, but her eyes were soft and sad, and her parents left very suddenly, without having time to leave her a word.

If they were still alive, what would they say to her?

Lu Qing raised his head, tears slipped into his hair: Dad, Mom, I've grown up.

Gu Yanzhi brought out another wine glass, and she subconsciously wanted to take it, but the other party took it away and filled it up for herself.

"I will respect my uncle and aunt for you with this cup."

Lu Qingshi smiled with red eyes, watched her drink it up, and put the bottle of wine tied with a red ribbon in front of the tombstone.

Today's New Year's Eve, there were very few people who came to visit the tomb, and the wind in the suburbs of Beijing was a bit strong, which messed up her hair. Lu Qing looked back with red eyes. Le...is buried there.

She paused, her heart ached, and she grabbed Gu Yanzhi's hand as if fleeing: "Let's... go back."

"Okay, but if you go back, maybe you won't have the chance to come back again." She always respected her decision, but also gave her the necessary reminder.

Regardless, she still hopes she can move on from the past.

Holding her hand tightly, the doctor pursed the corners of his lips, showing a struggle, pain, and bewildered expression.

Gu Yanzhi comforted her: "Then you stay here, I'll go over and clean up."

"Okay." She finally breathed a sigh of relief, and felt a little guilty.

Gu Yanzhi carried a basket and walked towards the past. This place was in the deepest part of the cemetery, and the surrounding cemetery was overgrown with weeds, and even yellow flowers grew from the cracks in the bricks. Only the tombstone belonging to Lele was clean and tidy, without a single weed. , there are a few bouquets of chrysanthemums in front of the tombstone, and the fragile petals are swaying in the wind. It seems that someone often comes to clean it, but I don't know whether it is Qingshi's grandfather or Fu Lei.

The photo on the tombstone was polished, the little boy had delicate features, red lips and white teeth, smiling at her with squinted eyes, he was really carved out of the same mold as Lu Qingshi.

She took out some food from the basket and placed them one by one in front of the tombstone. She lit the candle with the lighter and watched it burn quietly.

"I just think, children, they all miss their mothers."

She knew she would come, so she didn't look up: "I also miss my mother very much. Although I don't know what she looks like, I still miss her very much..."

She put paper money in the copper basin, the flames danced in her eyes, the wind blew over, black ash rose up, landed on the corner of Lu Qingshi's clothes, and water stains fell on the floor behind her.

"Lele...I'm sorry...Mom, I..." She covered her lips, choked up, trying to say something but couldn't complete a sentence, just crying, tears falling like broken beads.

"Lele, don't blame your mother. She has been living with guilt all these years, and she hasn't even smiled from the bottom of her heart... She... also loves you very much."

Gu Yanzhi stroked the smooth and cold stone slab with his fingers, and rubbed it back and forth until the temperature gradually rose. The little boy looked at them and smiled as always, with soft brows and eyes. If he can grow up smoothly, he should be a handsome and kind boy.

Pregnant in October, the meat that fell from her body, and spent such a happy five years with her, the past flashed through her mind like a lantern, Lu Qing couldn't help crying, Gu Yanzhi didn't comfort her anymore, just patted her Her back was smooth for her.

She knew that it was better to cry about some things than to keep them in her heart.

The blue sky and white clouds, the weeds and wheat billows surged like waves, and in a trance, she heard someone calling her: "Mom".

She looked up, and in the endless wilderness, a little boy in a cartoon T-shirt smiled at her with curved eyebrows.

"Mother".

She took a step closer, and the little boy took another step back.

"Mother".

Her teary eyes were dim: "Lele...".

"I love you, goodbye".

The little boy waved his hand and ran into the white light. She opened her eyes again, and the boy in the photo smiled at her as always, as if saying, "Mom, I am in another world, and I have always loved you."

Lu Qingshi knelt in front of the tombstone, weeping uncontrollably.

Lele... Mom has never forgotten you, and will always love you.

I knew that Yu Gui was queuing up to enter the station when she called Yu Gui. There were quite a few people returning home on New Year's Eve, and they were so crowded that their chests were pressed against their backs. Even if they heard the phone ringing, she couldn't take it out. After passing the security check and entering the waiting room, she finally had the time to take out her mobile phone from her pocket.

When he saw the name on the missed call ID on the screen, the young man slightly bent the corner of his lower lip, and a trace of warmth flowed through his heart.

She called back until the beep sounded, but no one answered, and her heart became cold little by little.

Some things are missed for a while, but for a lifetime.

She doesn't know this truth yet.

It is rare that I am not on duty on New Year's Eve, and several colleagues greeted their friends: "Director, let's go and have a drink."

Everyone knows that she is single and creates opportunities for her all the time. Qin Xuan smiled and rejected the kindness: "No, I'm a little tired. I'm going back to rest."

It is unimaginable that she also feels that drinking and socializing are boring from the bottom of her heart, maybe she is really getting old.

When the elevator arrived, she waved goodbye to her colleagues, and a policeman in a navy blue uniform helped another girl into the emergency room.

She looked subconsciously, but was blocked by the white curtain, smiled self-deprecatingly, and strode out of the hospital.

"Thank you, Officer Xiang." The girl who was injured by the bike smiled at the policeman, and Xiang Nanke also smiled.

"You're welcome, what to do."

The sound of high-heeled shoes was familiar from far to near. She lifted the curtain and went out, passing by a doctor with the familiar smell of perfume.

She ran after her, then was stunned: "Sorry... I admitted the wrong person".

The school in winter was a bit deserted, and most of the students had gone home on vacation, but what Lu Qingshi did not expect was that there were still people in the postgraduate classroom.

It gets dark early in Beijing, and the classroom is brightly lit. There are more than [-] people sitting there. The PPT shows anatomical organs. Her elderly grandpa is standing on the podium with a cane, explaining the most basic "Anatomy" to the young people in the audience. ".

She watched through the glass window, but never opened the door.

In the end, Lu Xucheng took off his glasses, closed the book, and put his hands on the table: "I believe in the benevolence of doctors, and you are already tired of hearing it. What I want to talk about today is about family affection. As a doctor, my life has nothing to do with it." It's a pity, but as Lu Xucheng, I'm not a qualified father, let alone a kind grandfather, and even... I couldn't save my great-grandson."

"I regret it very much. I hope that everyone will not have the same regrets. Every minute and every second of life is precious. Doctors are a special profession. There will be many times when you can't help yourself, but I still hope that everyone can Take some time out of this involuntary time, even if it’s just 1 minute, to leave for your family.”

"After all, apart from patients, they are the closest people you have in this world."

In the night, with the wind blowing through the corridor, the doctor curled his lips and said, "Let's go, let's go home."

Gu Yanzhi followed her: "Don't you invite grandpa to have the New Year's Eve dinner together?"

Lu Qing smiled, and went downstairs like a child: "He is not free, he does this every year, using the winter and summer vacations to make up lessons for students who are poor and have no money to go home, believe it or not, then Helping the child will always raise money to treat him to dinner”

"Professor Lu, Professor Lu..." When a group of children rushed to the front to ask questions, he rubbed his eyes and looked out the window, feeling as if someone had just stood there.

Gu Yan cooks and cooks a large table of delicious dishes, all of which she likes to eat.

The braised yellow-bone fish was boiled over high heat to collect the juice, and she brought out the red and oily hairy crabs from the steamer wearing gloves.

The lower layer is prepared garlic vermicelli shrimp, poured into the prepared sauce, the aroma is tangy.

Lu Qingshi let out an exclamation, pounced on him, twisted up a blowing blow, and brought it to his lips.

Gu Yanzhi turned around: "Ah! Why are you like French fries! Give me a bite!!!"

"No, it's delicious"

"mean!!!"

The Dongpo meat was tied with straw ropes and served on the table, and the West Lake vinegar fish was sprinkled with shredded green onions. Lu Qingshi looked around and said, "I can't eat so much."

"It was originally the amount of three people, who told you not to invite grandpa?"

Gu Yanzhi muttered, minced the garlic and mashed it, mixed it with cooking wine and light soy sauce, and poured it on the green cabbage heart with the hot oil, but the corners of his lips were smiling.

This is the first time for her to spend New Year's Eve with her lover, and it may be the last time for Qingshi to celebrate New Year's Eve. Even if there are only two of them, she still wants to spend it with her.

It was already early morning when I got home, Yu Gui took a deep breath, and pushed open the door of his house, the dog tethered in the yard immediately jumped up, wagging its tail affectionately and licking her trouser legs.

Yu's mother came out of the kitchen when she heard the news, and she was taken aback when she saw her. She hadn't seen her for more than half a year, but she felt that she had grown a bit taller. She was wearing a down jacket and carrying a backpack and bent over to tease the dog. When she straightened up, she said with a smile : "Mom, I'm back".

Tears welled up in her eyes: "Hey! It's good to be back, it's good to be back, it's cold outside, sit in the house, sit in the house, the food will be ready soon."

It is customary in rural areas to set off firecrackers during festivals. The whole family gathers around the stove to enjoy the fire, with a row of melon seeds and fruits in front of them.

While watching TV, Dad Yu put the peeled melon seeds in the bowl in front of his daughter: "This operation was performed by your hospital, right? It's amazing, it's all on TV..."

The science and technology channel is broadcasting the joint operation of the two countries and three hospitals to overcome neuroblastoma. He is an old man who can't understand the technical terms, but just thinks that it must be a great thing to be on TV.

Yu Gui knew what her parents were thinking, and picked and said some things that would make them look good. In the past, she hated such people very much. Now, seeing the joy on their faces, she also feels that occasionally It's not a bad thing to talk big to make them happy.

When taking a shower, a lot of hair blocked the sewer again, and the vortex seemed to be able to suck her soul into it. Lu Qingshi looked at it and became dizzy, so he grabbed the shelf next to her , the shower gel was poured, and there was a tinkle.

Gu Yanzhi knocked on the door outside: "Qingshi?"

She managed to gather herself together, squatted down, picked up the shower gel bottle from a pile of foam, and rinsed it off.

"It's okay, the shower gel was accidentally knocked off by me."

"Are you okay?" She was a little nervous and wanted to push the door open.

"It's okay, I'll be fine soon."

Lu Qingshi put the shower gel bottle back in its original place, and when he went out to wipe his wet hair, the TV in the living room was broadcasting news about joint surgery, which was a major event in the medical world.

She looked away calmly and casually, and walked into the bedroom. Gu Yanzhi sat cross-legged on the bed, with a hard-shell notebook in front of her.

"This is..." Lu Qing was puzzled, his gaze gradually changed from calm to unbelievable.

Gu Yanzhi was about to put it away: "I've been hesitating whether to show it to you, or forget it, I'm afraid..."

"No..." Lu Qingshi took her hand, "I want to see it."

Flipping through the pages of the photo album, Fu Lei recorded the last period from Lele's birth to his death, and the past seemed to come to light.

Lele who was wrinkled at birth, Lele who was breastfeeding for the first time, Lele who peed on top of his head, Lele who acted like a baby in Lu Qingshi's arms...

So vivid and vivid, a doctor recorded everything with a photographer.

There is a whole large book of well-preserved photos, and the last page is a family portrait. Lu Qingshi is standing in the middle, holding a cake, with his son in his arms, and Fu Lei standing next to him. The family of three all have happy smiles on their faces. .

Gu Yanzhi looked at her with mixed feelings. She felt that Fu Lei had never loved Lu Qing, as she said, two like-minded people gradually moved in different directions during the long journey of life.

Fate is magical, the future can never be predicted, but everything seems to be arranged in the dark.

"Pa-ta--" a drop of water splashed on her face.

Going back in time, she remembered what happened that day.

It was her birthday, and it was also the third year since Lele was diagnosed with a rare disease. On that day, she took her son home from the ICU. Fu Lei was already waiting at home. They cooked together and blew out the candles together. Cut the cake together.

Fu Lei set up the tripod, turned on the camera, coughed twice to record everything, and also recorded his blessing to her.

Lele leaned over, squeezed into the camera, bit a fork and smiled happily: "I also have something to say to my mother..."

But she, the protagonist, was about to leave the scene halfway. Lu Qingshi hung up the phone with an apologetic expression on his face: "I'm sorry, the emergency department rescued the patient..."

Fu Lei sent her to the door and put on her coat: "Would you like me too..."

Lu Qingshi supported the door frame to put on his shoes: "No, you can accompany Lele at home."

She waved at Lele, and the child was obviously having a temper tantrum. She smiled and yelled twice, and then reluctantly came over.

"Mom loves patients, but not me."

Lu Qingshi rubbed his head: "It's nothing, forgive me, Lele, mom will always love you the most."

After that door was closed, she thought that this matter would never follow up, but the story continued.

The red light of the camera was still on, Lele was sitting on the sofa playing with toys, Fu Lei saw that he looked a little lonely, and moved over to him.

"Lele, don't blame mom...she'll be back soon".

"I know Dad." The child's long eyelashes were drawn down, his face was a little too pale, and the blue blood vessels on his skin were faintly visible.

"Last time she said she would accompany me to the park, but she didn't. The last time she said she would take me to the playground, she didn't go, and the last time... I don't want to talk about it. I really want to forgive her, but you know , it's hard, Dad."

Fu Lei hugged the little guy into his arms: "Then do you hate her?"

The little guy bit his finger and thought for a while before shaking his head: "I don't hate it."

"Why?" Fu Lei teased him: "Dad often doesn't count what he says, don't you hate Dad?"

The little boy hugged his neck and kissed him: "I don't hate it, because my mother said that every complete family is a star, and when someone dies, the star will lack a corner. Doctor, what you have done is to make this star complete, just like our family of three."

The man's eyes were slightly red, and he kissed his precious son's side face: "Hey, let's record a birthday greeting video! When mom comes back and surprises her, she will be very happy."

"Okay~" The small face came closer to the camera, Lele smiled, and there was still a little shyness on the face, and two small canine teeth were exposed when she smiled, which was very cute.

"Mom, even though you can't accompany me all the time, you don't mean anything, and you always give me a lot of very, very bitter medicine, I hate you to death!!!"

"But..." the child laughed again, covered his face with his hands, and showed his eyes through his fingers.

"I especially like how you look when you wear a white coat! You are so handsome~ you are as handsome as your father~ The children in the ward are very envious that I have two doctors, my father and my mother~"

"Mom..." He moved closer and turned the camera around by himself, so the picture became blurred, but the immature voice became clearer.

"My mother is the most powerful superman in the world! Possesses magic that no one else can, and can make every star in the world complete. I will always like my mother in a white coat!"

After the screen was played, it stopped abruptly. Lu Qingshi, who was outside the camera, burst into tears, trembling all over, his finger bones turned white while clutching the bed sheet, unable to cry.

Gu Yanzhi hugged her into his arms and patted her on the back lightly. Only then did she let out her first sob in a long time.