I have a good relationship with Jinzhu's Bai Yueguang

His expression suddenly became complicated, frowning as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't know how to say it.

I'm familiar with this kind of expression, I've seen it on Gu Shang's face too, the expression after being pointed out by others.

"How could you be my younger brother..." After a long time, he frowned and said these words.

Of course I am not your brother.

I have a birth certificate, okay?

Seeing Xu Xiaomo's expression of being unable to speak again, I have the answer.

At the same time, I couldn't help but sigh in my heart, everyone has his own life, so I'm just a substitute.

"Ling Jingchuan," Xu Xiaomo stepped forward and grabbed me when I was walking out, "You..."

I can probably guess what the other person is going to say, but I don't want to hear it.

So I gently broke away from his hand and smiled politely at him, "It's okay, I know."

"You don't know." His voice was a little louder, and there was a hint of anxiety on his face.

"Listen to me..."

"I'm going to be late." I interrupted him, "You also know that Gu Shang is a little nervous, in case he waits in a hurry and then regrets it."

Xu Xiaomo also seemed to realize that that matter was more important, he paused, and asked: "Have you already told him that you want to break up?"

I correct him, "We are in a contractual relationship."

Xu Xiaomo didn't speak.

"Then... I'm leaving." I was worried that my plan would be exposed if I stayed for a long time, so I wanted to go for a walk when I found an opportunity.

Xu Xiaomo hummed in a low voice, "Let's talk when we come back."

I paused, pretending not to hear, and walked towards the door faster.

Just as I was about to close the door, a hand stretched out from inside the door, stopping my movement.

I was afraid that he might get caught, so I asked him if he was okay.

Xu Xiaomo didn't answer, he asked me abruptly: "What clothes are you wearing inside?"

He looked at me coldly, and said again: "Your coat is new, did Li Xing buy it?"

I was already a little guilty, but I was even more frightened when I heard what the man said.

Inside was the white shirt and black pants from the night before.Afraid of being discovered by men, I put on a coat.Xu Xiaomo was right, I did bring it in my luggage a few days ago.

I had no choice but to say to Xu Xiaomo: "Your coat is too big."

"Really?" His eyes were full of inquiry, "What about your clothes?"

"It's the one on the first day, right? The western restaurant you and Gu Shang made an appointment with?"

I moved out the prepared speech and said: "This is not the clothes I bought, I will take it back and return it to him."

"I'm really leaving, and it will be noon if I hang on for a while." I took out my phone and looked at it, making a very anxious look.

"Well," Xu Xiaomo didn't continue to ask.

"Do you want to save lunch for you at noon?" He stood by the door and looked at me without blinking.

Behind the man is a room as warm as ever, and his face is as indifferent as ever.

I stood in the cold wind and looked at him for a while.

Finally I said, "No need."

"Goodbye."

……

……

The weather forecast last night said that there will be a strong cold snap today. I don't believe in the weather forecast. After all, I have been tricked by it countless times since I was a child.

However this time I misread it.

I didn't pay much attention to it, and left Xu Xiaomo's house with only a single shirt and a thin trench coat.

He was extremely chic when he walked, but he almost died of cold on the way.

When I finally got on the bus, there was a wide open window on the bus.I tried to pull it hard, but it didn't budge.

Finally, under the natural cold wind and the hurricane of the driver's car, after getting out of the car, I managed to get a runny nose.

I bought a pack of tissues at the convenience store downstairs, but the boss remembered me and asked me why I hadn't come shopping for several days.

He also asked if I had just returned from a business trip.

I sniffed, smiled awkwardly, and didn't explain much.

Finding Huishang's apartment is not difficult, the hard part is knocking on the door and entering.

I looked at the familiar door lock, looked at the familiar couplet, and hesitated for a while.

I lost the key before, and I changed the door lock myself. As for the couplet, I also posted it.

What did you think at that time?

Not long after I moved in, it was the New Year. At that time, my brain got hot, so I proposed to post couplets.Gu Shang didn't say anything, he just looked at me tenderly, as if he let you torment him.At that time, I still firmly felt that Gu Shang liked me too.

In fact, is there any?

I was immersed in my own thoughts, my nose suddenly itched, and I sneezed before I could react.

It was not warm in the hallway, I shrank my neck, sneezing and the coldness made my brain wake up again.

I know it must be warm in the house, not to mention people's hearts, at least it is like this in the house.

But I dare not knock on the door.

I suddenly don't know whether it is not dare or not.

At this moment, the door was opened from the inside.The heat rushed all over my body and my face, making me squint my eyes.

I saw Gu Shang's surprised face.

After a while, his face darkened, "Don't you know how to knock on the door? What's the wind standing at the door?"

I was about to speak, but I couldn't hold back and let out another sneeze.

Gu Shang's complexion seemed to get worse.

I took out a tissue and blew my nose, and said to him helplessly after I was done, "Cold wind."

……

There seemed to be some changes in the apartment, and there seemed to be no changes.Because the moment I entered the room, in addition to feeling the warmth, I also felt strange.

A sense of strangeness.

I thought about it, probably because I never found a sense of belonging here.

I was a little embarrassed and didn't know how to speak.

Gu Shang and I haven't seen each other for only a few days, and the atmosphere when we saw each other has become strange.Except for the days of the Cold War, when we were both together, this room rarely seemed so quiet.

Gu Shangqing complains erratically, speaks soft words to me inexplicably, and sometimes can't help venting...

At least not as silent as it is now.

What is he thinking every time he treats me like this?

Is it me?

Or Xu Xiaomo.

The answer is actually clear at a glance, but I still forget it day after day.

What is Xu Xiaomo?

For me, it is the new object of my heart, for Gu Shang, his white moonlight, for me and Gu Shang, it is just a fuse.

It is like a zoom lens of a SLR, allowing me to see things that were blurred and clear all of a sudden.

I saw many things clearly, and I thought many things clearly.

Rather than relying on the appearance of being disconnected to maintain the relationship, it is better to cut the mess quickly, and it will be clean once it is closed.

This is a decision I made after a long time of thinking and practice.

It's hard to tell how long it took, but Gu Shang spoke first, asking Xu Xiaomo.

He asked the question on the phone again, asking if I lived in Xu Xiaomo's house.

This time I didn't avoid it, I said yes.

I noticed that the man's grip on the handle of the cup tightened for a moment, but only for a moment, and quickly returned to normal.

As if suppressing some emotion.

I know that when facing me, Gu Shang seldom restrained, even if he maintained his face, he would still speak out.

I heard him sneer, "When did you climb up to Xu Xiaomo?"

"..." I really don't know how to answer this question.

Gu Shang didn't care about my speechlessness, and he "analyzed" for me: "Let's think about it, because you work for him, because he is your boss? Or earlier, when we first met, you woke up." Thinking about it? It was your plan to join the company, so you have been dating him without telling me. At first I thought you were testing him because of me. Now that I think about it, it’s really funny. After all, he is the heir of the famous Xu family. ..."

"Gu Shang!" The more I listened, the more I couldn't listen anymore, so I interrupted him abruptly.

"Am I wrong?" He sat up straight and looked at me, "Could it be that you want to say that he approached you first?"

"Or let me change the question, you really don't have any idea about him?"

Gu Shang's questions popped up one by one like marbles, and then hit me hard.

I can't answer.

To be honest, I'm a little bit annoyed.

I have liked this person, and I know that his kindness to me is for another person.But subconsciously, I always think that Gu Shang will change.

Maybe one day he will look away and don't like his white moonlight anymore.

Maybe one day he will be in love with me.

But he hasn't changed.

Before I met Xu Xiaomo, I admired his dedication.

"I admit that I had thought about taking the initiative to approach him," I heard my own restrained voice, "It was indeed because of you in the first place."

"I'm so curious, I'm curious how you can like him for ten years."

"So I approached him involuntarily. He looks like me, but he doesn't look like me. I compare every time. After the comparison, there is only envy, and when the envy is over, I am curious."

"Because I have never liked anyone, the only time I fell on you."

I watched his brows furrowed more and more tightly, and suddenly my nose became sore, and before the man could speak, I added: "But that's all in the past tense."

There was silence in the air for a while, Gu Shang spoke again, this time his tone was much calmer, he asked me:

"What does past tense mean?"

"Literally." I sniffed so he wouldn't see it.

"I'm in love with Xu Xiaomo."

"What did you say?" Gu Shang's expression suddenly changed, and I couldn't tell if it was surprise or anger.

But it makes no difference.

"Say it again?" His voice trembled.

"You heard me." I didn't dare to look at his face, but looked at the watch on the coffee table.

At noon, the sun came out, and the light went straight from the window into the living room, shining on the coffee table.The watch was stained by the halo, and the metal part on it became difficult to see directly, emitting a dazzling light.

I was so shaken that I squinted my eyes, and then I heard Gu Shang's voice: "You came here today to talk about this?"

I say no.

"It's not about this."

The man lowered his head like me, unable to see the expression on his face.

I hesitated for a moment, then said, "I want to change the contract."

"What contract?" he asked me.

"Nurture contract..."

"You want to rescind the contract?" The man suddenly raised his head and looked at me with some stern eyes.

He seemed really anxious and reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Ling Jingchuan, what do you mean? If you say abolish it, then I..." He suddenly paused, and then said harshly, "Then you plan not to pay back the money?"

I met the other party's gaze, bit the bullet and continued, "It's not abolition, it's reform."

"I have no intention of not paying back the money. I can work for you, or do whatever I want. In short, I... I don't want to have this kind of relationship with you."

For the first time, Gu Shang calmed down, "Why?"

"Don't you like me?" His words came out out of nowhere.

I feel a little strange, but it is more important to solve the current problem than to think about things.

"I don't like you now." I told him truthfully.

"That's not the point. You just need to change the contract. I won't run away. If you are worried, you can draw up another one. If you don't want me to work in your place, I can also send you regular remittances every month." , if one year is not enough, two years, two years..."

"If I didn't say stop, are you planning to work for me for the rest of your life?" Gu Shang said coldly.

"Ling Jingchuan, don't you think you are heartless?" He asked, "Did I treat you badly?"

"Do you think you are good to me?" Something broke out from the bottom of my heart.

"You knew I liked you a long time ago, but you still consume me? Did you miss me when you kissed me?"

Gu Shang opened his mouth, but I got a little out of control, I took the conversation away,

"Are you trying to say that I did it on my own, I should have promised you if I had known from the first day you asked me."

"We are not a couple. You are my sponsor, my boss, and my benefactor. I have no right to ask for emotional matters. I know what you want to say."

I felt my nose hurt like hell, and my head ached.But I had to suffocate and endure, just like my emotions.

I don't want to be a lover anymore.

I don't want to be someone's substitute anymore.

As people get older and bigger, they will lose a lot of things, and they will feel that many things don't matter.

In fact it doesn't really matter, it accumulates somewhere in your body, over the years, and one day it will burst like an inflated balloon with a bang.

When you are blinded by the explosion, you will find that you have not become open-minded, you just learned to escape, and learned to turn a blind eye to many things.

That's where I've always been, but I see it now.

Because there will be a voice in my mind, the tone is cold, but it gives people a sense of peace of mind.

That voice would tell me, "You are you, your name is Ling Jingchuan, you are not someone else, and you have no other identity."

At this juncture, inexplicably, I suddenly thought of the fox on Xu Xiaomo's phone.

The fox in The Little Prince is calm but also gentle.

He will say this, he will be kind to me, maybe it is really because of his brother.

Even so, I can't afford to hate him.Instead, I was a little worried, worried that the other party would be angry when they found out that I had run away.

I don't plan to go back to Xu Xiaomo's, I want to go far, maybe I can start again and say goodbye to the past.

After all, it's written in the book.

I want to say to Gu Shang: "You take care of me, but you don't move me, and you can't love me, isn't this a waste of money!"

For career-oriented talents, this investment is too uneconomical.

……

……

I can't remember exactly what happened afterwards, my head was in a mess and hurt, and some words were far and near, and I couldn't hear them clearly.

I just remember that Gu Shang was shaking with anger after listening to it. He seemed to ask me if there would be love in the relationship.

I replied to him and said no, so I will work for him in the future.

Changing "nurturing" to "reform through labor" is just two words.

Obviously this is not an effort, I don't understand what Gu Shang is angry about.

He was so angry that he picked up the watch on the table and seemed to want to throw me, but he didn't.The light dazzled my eyes and made me dizzy.

"I'm tired, let me go."

It's the truth, and I'm buzzing with a headache right now.

Gu Shang took a deep breath, then he pointed in the direction of my room,

"tidy up."

I walked towards the room with a sigh of relief, but was stopped by him again, "Wait a minute."

He took out two pieces of paper, "Do you want a contract?"

Then he tore the two sheets of paper to shreds in front of me, and the scraps of paper scattered all over the floor, blending with the same white floor like cracks.

……

……

I packed my things and took one last look at the room.In fact, there is nothing to pack, after all, a box cannot be filled.

After stuffing the black box in the bedside table, I remembered the missing diary.

Gu Shang is still sitting on the sofa, his face is calm, I don't know if it's my illusion, I think the man's back is a bit sad.

When he saw me, he suddenly said, "You really don't look alike at all."

I nodded.

The scraps of paper on the ground are still lying there, and black handwriting can be vaguely seen on them, which is the rule I made with him.

Gu Shang also looked at the pile of things,

"'Ask for the opinions of Party B before doing anything'."

"I perform one last time,"

Without waiting for my reaction, he stepped forward and took a step closer.

I closed my eyes abruptly, and raised my hand to block it.

Gu Shang grabbed my hand with great strength, the imaginary pain did not come, the other party

Naturally, gently encircled me.

The words that came out were not gentle.

"I don't want to see you anymore," he said.

Until I got on the elevator, I really wanted to ask him what to do with the money.

Inappropriate, I think of the saying that talking about feelings hurts money.

Although the sun was out outside, I still felt cold, the cold rising from the soles of my feet.

My headache seemed to be worse than before, and I was a little unsteady when I walked.Only then did I realize later that I had a cold.

There was a familiar car across the gate of the community, and when the window was rolled down, an equally familiar face was revealed.

Xu Xiaomo looked at me blankly for a long time, then said, "Get in the car."