I have a good relationship with Jinzhu's Bai Yueguang

"Extreme things must be reversed" is the first idiom I firmly remember.It's funny, I learned this word from my brother, and it's not me who comforts me, but my dad.

My brother is five years older than me, and he was in middle school at the time, looking at me with contempt while comforting my dad.

My dad lost his temper at me as always, saying how such a bad luck gave birth to me.

"It's okay, things will be reversed at the extreme." My brother said to him, "It's useless to be angry."

Later, every time I think about it, I can’t help but tsk tsk in my heart, I was born by my mother, not him.

It was as if he was ten months pregnant.

But I can only slander a few words, I still love them.

I was so cowardly that the peasants have not been able to turn around until now.

Later, whenever I was depressed and wanted to hit the wall, I would tell myself these four words.

But it never worked. Should they loathe me or loathe me? Should I hit a wall or a wall in my life.

It's not without reason that they hate me so much.

The "bad luck" that my dad said was true.First of all, my birth was an accident. My dad would be running around busy with work, and my mother insisted on giving birth, so I was born.

However, by coincidence, on the same day, the investment in the company where my dad worked failed, and he also lost his job after the company lost all his money.

From that day on, the family encountered many problems one after another.Especially my brother, he is different from me, he has good grades since he was a child, and he is sweet and sweet.All in all, everyone favors my brother.

One day my dad finally remembered me and said bluntly that I was a bastard.My mother stood in front of me and competed with my father.My brother stood not far away, looking at me with disgust.

At that time, I couldn't understand the word broom star, and I still giggled cheerfully.My brother stood not far away, looking at me with disgust.

As far as I can remember, my mother was always in poor health, and she stayed in bed for longer and longer.

No one ever told me if she became like this after giving birth to me.But from the words and eyes of my dad and my brother, we can tell, yes.

Although my mother can speak for me, she would occasionally frown and say in a regretful tone: "Why can't you learn more from your brother?"

She meant the brain, but I only learned his cold eyes.I didn't learn well enough, so my dad caught me and scolded me.

Later, my mother passed away, and no one was protecting me anymore. My father did not hesitate to send the ten-year-old me to my grandma's house in the countryside.

Grandma didn't seem to know my existence. When she saw me for the first time, her cloudy eyes were full of confusion.But the old man is getting old, not only has a bad memory, but also has a bad brain.

She only hesitated for a moment, then smiled and grabbed my hand, talking to me very intimately.

I couldn't laugh at that time, and even felt aggrieved.

Because she called my brother's nickname.

I broke away from her hand angrily, turned around and left, and stayed in the room by myself all day.

In the evening, she walked up to me with a tray and handed me something the size of a palm.

The thing was shaped like a puppy, like a doll but not quite like anything I've seen, because it's lighter...

When she saw that I liked it, her eyes became slits with a smile.

She told me it was called felt, and said what I like, she taught me how to make it every day.

In the two years since then, I not only learned how to make felt, but also gained an additional identity.

The old man is very good to me, except that my mother is the best to me.Because of this, no matter how much I hate my brother, I have spent the past two years bearing his name.

Later, because of the household registration problem, my dad took me back again.The family has changed a lot, the only thing that hasn't changed is their attitude towards me.

The old man calls occasionally, and I answer them.She asked innocuous words while continuing to call the wrong name.

I was confused a few times. When my dad called my brother, I quickly answered.One can imagine how miserable the ending was.

The most common question asked by the elderly is when will I go back to see her again.This is also what I can't stand the most, so when the holidays come, I will run back.

My father wished that I would stay far away, and would not care about me.I was so happy that when I went back, I would either make felt or bask in the sun.

Then I fell in love with making felt.My dad objected very much, saying that I wasted money, and added habitually, no wonder I'm worthless.

One New Year's Eve, my dad took us back to the countryside together.My grandma didn't admit her mistake this time, but her memory was confused.I grabbed my brother's hand and asked him what he wanted to learn today.

My brother understood it as soon as he heard it.

I don’t remember exactly what he said to me later, but I just remember him asking me if I thought my grandma wouldn’t admit the wrong person if I insisted on doing this.

"You make ten, one hundred, countless, and you are still my fake."

At that time, I was in the third grade of junior high school, and I started to write a diary. I didn't write anything else, but wrote swear words.Every time I finish writing, I have to make a wish, hoping that sooner or later the father and son will be unlucky.

Things will be reversed when they are extreme, and it will not be reversed. Maybe I am not unlucky enough.I would think so.

I look forward to it day after day, but the father and son live as comfortably as ever.

When I was admitted to university, my grandma passed away.I packed up my things and completely disconnected from this family.

My dad always said that I was not as promising as my brother.My brother is indeed smart, but he used it in the wrong place.My "promising" elder brother met a group of cronies somewhere, and was fooled into boarding a pirate ship and sailing to prison.

I saw him on TV, and the news anchor sternly reported that he had successfully captured a fraud gang that specially helped candidates cheat.

On the day my brother entered the police station, I went to see it once, but unexpectedly I didn't see my dad.

To be honest, I didn't feel particularly excited when I saw the two of them being unlucky.

On the contrary, it was very flat.

At this time, I had a stable job and bought a house, and I had nothing else to do but love.

But I lived too comfortably, and I didn't remember the so-called "extreme things must be reversed".

By the time my dad came to my company in a disgraceful but aggressive manner, it was already too late.

He has indeed had a bad life in the past few years as I wished, and he has been deeply involved in the endless cycle of owing money for gambling and then owing money.

In order to break out of this endless loop, he borrowed a so-called "credit loan".When the debt collectors became more and more vicious, he remembered that unpleasant little son as if he had just woken up from a dream.

I was still a coward in my heart, so he made me compromise without any effort and lent him some money.

The good name is borrowing, but in fact it is more like robbery.

Later, I found out that I was not only a coward, but also a slut.

It wasn't until I lost my job and my house that I realized what situation I was in.

Those people also seem to find that asking my dad for money is not as fast as asking me.

On the last day of the end of the year, I was desperate and hid in the bar, deciding to give up on myself before I died.

At that time, I sighed regretfully while drinking wine.

He grew up so big, lived in a mess, and never talked about love.Don't talk about being in love, there isn't even a pair of eyes.

There was a sudden commotion at the entrance of the bar. I knew that group of people had found me, so I simply lay down on the table and pretended to be dead.

The gang came to my table, picked up an empty wine bottle and slammed it down.

Gu Shang appeared at this time.

He seemed to have popped out of the ground, pulling me up who was lying on the table waiting to die, with great strength and noise, so that the debt collectors and I were unable to react for a while.

Gu Shangna would wear the most common black suit, he smiled at me.It was so dark in the bar that I couldn't even see his face clearly.But at that moment, I felt that this person was shining like a light.

He stood in front of me, picked up a wine bottle, and smashed it on the table without hesitation.

"How much does he owe you?" The man grabbed the half-broken wine bottle, pointed at the people in front of him, "I'll pay it for him."

Then he carefully helped me out of the bar.Because of the alcohol, I have been unable to hear things clearly, but it seems to be very clear.

Because the moment the fireworks sounded, I was shocked immediately.

"It's a new year," he told me.

I shook my head and nodded again.The man's palm was very hot, I quietly grasped some.

"What's your name?" He waved his hand in front of my eyes, "Yes, you seem to be drunk..."

"Ling Jingchuan..." I coughed, followed by a nausea.

He nodded, and after a while he said, "My name is Gu Shang."

I didn't make a sound at that time, but I silently recited the name over and over again in a daze.

That was the first time I knew what it was like to like someone.

There is a reason why I like Gu Shang, and there is a reason why Gu Shang saved me.

Until now, I really realized that I have been acting as a substitute for others since I was a child.

It was given to my grandma when I was a child, and it was given to Gu Shang when I grew up.

……

……

This is the first time I have said these things to others, and the identity of the other party is still a bit embarrassing.

After I finished speaking, I lowered my head and stopped looking at Xu Xiaomo.

Xu Xiaomo squatted with me and didn't say a word from the beginning to the end, but he could feel the other party's focused attitude inexplicably.

"Nope." After crying for a while, I felt embarrassed, so I laughed a few times, "Your legs are numb, stop squatting."

As I said that, I straightened up, but just as I got up, I suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness in my thigh.

Xu Xiaomo supported me steadily.

I:"……"

Tsk, it's even more embarrassing.

I was the one who took the initiative to talk about it, and I am the one who regrets it now.The point is that Xu Xiaomo didn't respond at all, which made me even more embarrassed.

I hesitated on the spot for a while, seeing that the other party still had no intention of speaking, I could only say, "I'm going to take a shower first."

Xu Xiaomo said lightly: "You have washed it."

Oh oh.

……

I cleared my throat and said, "Then I'll go to bed..."

"Ling Jingchuan," Xu Xiaomo said suddenly, "you can say anything you want to say, and you can ask anything you want."

"I don't think much..." I replied subconsciously, but I looked up and saw the serious expression on the other side.

I closed my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I lied before." I apologized to him, and at the same time said it to myself, "It was a lie that I said that I didn't care about Gu Shang at all."

He looked at me for a long time in silence, then sighed.

Xu Xiaomo took a step closer to me, and I saw him squint his eyes, "I lied too."

Just when I didn't know why, the man said, "I'm not treating you well because I treat you as a friend."