Red door

Even though He Yuan came back to him again, he still smoked a lot. Perhaps there was some kind of guidance in the dark, which told him that he had only a few years left. He Yuan's relationship with each other is limited, and the shadow created by the mirror will collapse at any time. Luo Ye must write down his worries about gains and losses, great joy and great sorrow on paper when he is most emotional. emotions now.

He Yuan doesn't like the smell of smoke very much, especially the Camel cigarettes he smokes. The smell is so strong that his head hurts when he smells the second-hand smoke.He opened the window and sat by the curtains to read a book, not wanting to get close to Luo Ye, who was twitching violently.

Luo Ye wrote the beginning over and over again, but he was always dissatisfied. He asked He Yuan: "Do you have any good ideas? Recall our first meeting."

He Yuan lifted his head from the book: "I don't remember much, I just fell asleep naturally, and then I saw you after having a good dream."

"I didn't have a good dream when I saw you," Luo Ye drew ink from the pen: "I had a weird dream, dreaming that I was murdered by a supermarket trolley, and the wheels of that thing squeaked on the asphalt road Quacking around."

He smiled and said, "Don't write about mirrors, write about a cart first? The story of a desperate man who was hunted down by carts all over the city, maybe you will become a cutting-edge writer after you finish writing."

And said: "It's better to fall in love with a cart again."

"None of what you said is reliable," Luo Ye lowered his head again. He thought about his sweet dreams. After meeting He Yuan, he actually rarely dreamed. He dreamed that He Yuan smoked cigarettes one by one, like He was as fierce and anxious as he was. In the dream, Luo Ye looked at He Yuan calmly, as if he saw some kind of tumor with his own characteristics parasitizing on He Yuan. Muse couldn't smoke like this, "Why did you insist on me writing "Our Silence", that should be... your creation."

"No, I'm just a reader. Occasionally I have a flash of inspiration, but I don't have the desire to create, but I know that as long as I tell you this, you will give me a whole world." He Yuan didn't care Said: "I am a muse, this is the blessing of the muse, accept it."

Luo Ye stood up, took out a manuscript from his briefcase, and said, "How about you look at this? I revised the manuscript when I was young."

He Yuan took it over and asked, "Why is there no question?"

"I don't know what to name it." He touched the back of his neck and said, "Our Silence has already been used, and I can't think of a better idea."

"Then you think about it, I'll see and talk."

The as-yet-untitled novel has an unlikable protagonist, a high school teenager with a voice-changing, male-duck voice and average looks who is not a well-liked character.He suffered from schizophrenia in adolescence, and all the boundaries between self and society disappeared. When he stretched out his hand, it seemed that he could no longer feel his own hand. Looking at clouds and reading books is also happy, but his happiness is superficial. There are severe auditory hallucinations and delusions, and the whole person is like a machine that has lost its clockwork, losing vitality and interest.He survived the college entrance examination miserably, and finally collapsed completely the day before filling out the application form.

The schizophrenia portrayed is too realistic and not novel enough. The whole novel is like the protagonist's thoughts.

He Yuan felt very depressed when he saw it, and he said, "It's like...you have suffered from schizophrenia."

He touched the back of his neck and said, "I didn't. I made a mistake when checking for multiple personalities. I always thought that schizophrenia was a separation of personalities...but this is different, so I tried to write this novel. "

"Are you going to hand this over to the editor? The editor will hate you to death," He Yuan said mercilessly: "He is not in a social environment at all, and he can't struggle. I don't like this article."

"As a reader?"

He raised his head slightly, a little proudly.

Luo Ye looked at his childish behavior and said with a smile: "As a writer, of course you shouldn't write for readers."

He said again: "This is the process for me to understand you, but I took the wrong path and saw another scenery."

The 25-year-old He Yuan may not say this, but he is almost ten years younger than 25 now. He is naive and waiting to grow up, and his inspiration is just a flash of inspiration.Luo Ye began to miss his He Yuan again, but he didn't know if he would see his lover again.

He is contradictory. While he hopes that his charity organization can help his muse, he hopes that his muse will return to him.

Luo Ye thought: When will I live?

He then asked He Yuan: "When were you born?"

"87, May 5th." He Yuan sulked at him and hated the smell of cigarettes on his body, so he avoided it.

Luo Ye looked at the calendar and said, "In three years, you will be born."

He Yuan said: "The dream is really very real."

He Yuan, 32 years old

When He Yuan was in school, he didn't smoke or drink. He was a good student. When he was 32 years old, he drank a little alcohol and had a headache. He woke up the next day with a bad smell.He left the psychiatric hospital because of family accidents. He stopped the medicine directly and was in pain. He had auditory hallucinations, but Wen Ji disappeared. No one can give him protection and sustenance. He Yuan must learn to protect himself.He bought a pack of cigarettes of an unknown brand for [-] yuan. They were very spicy and uncomfortable to smoke, but his mind was flying, and he suddenly knew why Luo Ye liked smoking so much.

His parents were still alive, but his father didn't dare to beat him anymore. The two sat indifferently, dealing with the superficial father-son relationship indifferently.His mother has been forgetting things recently, and menopausal women have stopped menstruating, so they can't accept the reality of getting old.His parents are obsessed with pyramid schemes. The name of the pyramid scheme is mbi. They talk about "ninety-nine to one", "huake gold", "durian coins" and "mbi" every day, but he is indifferent. His parents' money is his parents' money. Of course, he has the right to dispose of it at will, and he is not a filial son or grandson, so he has fulfilled his duty after verbally persuading him twice.

His father met a group friend in mbi wechat group, she was a woman, the two chatted on the phone, flew to Malaysia twice, went to the so-called mbi headquarters, and went to Hong Kong to attend some classes, a meal Breakfast costs 500 yuan.

His mother was weeping at home, but she was unwilling to give up the "big cake" of MLM. She believed that she could make millions in it, and kept promising him that "I will treat you well in the future." Thank you Mr. Zhang for giving us this platform. "He Yuan paints for people, earns extra money by being a shooter, and his mother sits next to him and chatters." Now is the era of the fan economy. If you want to make money, you must have your own fans.You send me your paintings, and I send them to the mbi group. Someone must want them. By then, these loyal fans will be your fans. '

At that time, He Yuan only felt that there was no logic in his mother's words, but he didn't think much about it, because his mother was a superficial person, stupid and despised all humanities subjects.Every time he bought a book, he would be abused by his mother, and after arguing a few times, he let her go.

His mother pulled him again and said that MBI is legal, and the money she and his father invested will definitely be rewarded. She said this month, next month, and she was willing to give He Yuan 1000 yuan a month, as long as He Yuan is willing to give her his ID card.

One day he couldn't bear it anymore: "Why do you want to get married? I don't care what you do, why did you give birth to me? Specially abuse me?"

She put on a straight face: "What are you talking about? You are earning a dead wage, how do you get rich? Mom cares about you, one thousand a month is not a lot, but your own expenses are enough. Besides, don't we make money just for What about you? Don’t we leave all these to you after we die?”

His mother couldn't say anything without mbi, so he shook off his mother's arm and went home.

In the evening, he cooked kelp soup, but after waiting for a long time, his mother did not come back. He ran downstairs to the park, searched twice, and saw his mother sitting on a cold iron chair in an inaccessible corner.

He Yuan asked, "Why don't you go home?"

His mother said blankly: "I don't remember how to get home."

He felt helpless, so he took his mother back home. On the way home, He Yuan said, "Go to the hospital tomorrow, your body should be checked."

His mother scowled and said, "What are you talking about, where is the money at home?"

"I remember your sister borrowed 15 yuan from you, and I have a monthly salary of 6000 yuan." He Yuanyu couldn't bear it, and said, "Check it out."

But he knew that nine out of ten of these symptoms were dementia that could not be avoided.

"You don't know what you want me to order." The mother gouged him bitterly, "The 15 is my mbi, your father's 15, and I'm 15, just to open two 'golden accounts', where? If you have spare money to give to the hospital, the hospital is a lie. Your grandpa went to the hospital with liver cancer, didn’t he still die after surgery? It’s said on WeChat that the hospital is the most deceitful place. Good people have to have their organs removed before they can get out. .”

He didn't dare to let go, but his mother grabbed him and began to babble, talking about mbi and health preservation on WeChat.

The doubts that had been bothering him came back to his mind. If the meaning of life is only to accumulate wealth and squander it, then what is the point of living for a long time?Become a Goriot?he does not know.

He Yuan looked at the lonely sky, there were no stars in the sky of the city, only a ginger moon, like the face of a dead woman, he was almost suffocated under this sky, life was tightly strangled He knew that he couldn't escape, but he wanted to go back to his dream, to Luo Ye's bedroom, to read with the window open, but he was never afraid of the wind and rain blowing in.