out of print lover

Feng Yu himself didn't know why he liked Zhou Xiaohui.

She and Zhou Xiaohui have been rivals since preschool. Zhou Xiaohui couldn't understand her arrogance like a peacock, and mobilized the whole class to isolate her. And she was also displeased with Zhou Xiaohui's clique and arrogance, so she really opposed the whole class. stand up.

In fact, Feng Yu’s life was very difficult that year. Her father’s business failed, and most of the funds were taken away by his partners. I dare not ask my parents for money. I often pick up the pencil ends thrown away by others in the trash can. At that time, mechanical pencils have become popular in the class. They have colorful coats and replaceable refills as thin as hair. After two strokes, the refill popped out from the tip of the pen, and the written characters were all slender, neat and beautiful, and Feng Yu wanted one even in his dreams.

Later, Feng Yu thought of a way. After she finished her homework at night, she picked up iron nails around her house. After picking up nails for a whole month, she sold them to junk collectors and made a dollar. The automatic pencil and a box of matching refills were trampled to pieces by Zhou Xiaohui the next day.

At this time, Feng Yu hated Zhou Xiaohui very much, hated her for slandering herself, and hated it all because of her. There was not even a single person in the class who believed in her.

Later, because of Lin Xing, a pair of rivals became friends.

Since when did you not hate her?

Feng Yu thought, maybe one day in the future, Zhou Xiaohui apologized to him seriously, or another day in physical education class, he was alone in the classroom doing homework, Zhou Xiaohui invited her to play together, or maybe it was a day and night. , The hatred was obliterated unconsciously.

In short, by the time Feng Yu realized it, her feelings for Zhou Xiaohui had already changed.

Zhou Xiaohui is not annoying. In fact, she is very beautiful. She has two small canine teeth when she smiles.

"Do you think it's strange? Zhou Xiaohui is stupid, greedy and blind. How much did I hate her when I was a child? But after getting along for a long time, I actually think she is quite likable." Feng Yu said it very easily, Lin Lin Fortunately, she could hear the self-deprecating feeling in her words.

Lin Xing didn't know what to say to make her feel better, so she could only say: "Emotion is something that can't be explained clearly, and it's not a math paper we do. Every question has a standard answer. Besides, how can Xiaohui have you?" That's so bad, she got No. 20 in the last exam, she is not smart? Then I am not a fool, and she is so cute all day long, always making everyone happy... ..."

Feng Yu listened quietly to Lin Xing, but Lin Xing stopped talking while he was talking.

In fact, needless to say, Feng Yu has liked Zhou Xiaohui for so many years, how could he not know that Zhou Xiaohui is good, there must be something about Zhou Xiaohui that moved Feng Yu, it is worth liking, Feng Yu can persist for so long.

After a while, Lin Xing asked again: "Does Xiaohui know?"

Feng Yu snorted, "She's just a rotten piece of wood, how could she know."

Feng Yu kept laughing, but Lin Xing could sense the pain in her heart.

Zhou Xiaohui has thousands of shortcomings, Feng Yu likes her, so her goodness shines even more because of those shortcomings, but Feng Yu's secret love is humble and hopeless, she can't see the light, she can only remind herself all the time, Zhou Xiaohui is not good, her shortcomings There are so many stupid rotten wood, it's not worth my attention.

The more so, the more dazzling Zhou Xiaohui's goodness, and the more minor her shortcomings.

Lin Xing asked, "Then have you ever thought about telling her?"

"No." Feng Yu's hand clenched the railing, and then let it go.

Lin Xing knew what she was thinking.

When I don't talk, I can still be by her side as a friend. If I talk, I guess I can't even be a friend.

Tonight, Lin Xing seemed to be a hundred times more sensitive than usual, and could clearly perceive even Feng Yu's unspoken words.

Lin Xing thought, probably she has the same feelings for Xu Xiwan, looking forward and backward, timidly, expecting that person to discover her little emotions, but afraid that he would find out, she turned around and ran away in fright.

The evening wind was blowing, making people feel melancholy.

The two little girls stood side by side in the night, very anxious about the future.

"Do you feel sick?" When Lin Xing was depressed, Feng Yu's voice came over by the night wind.

"Disgusting? How could it be disgusting?"

"Isn't it disgusting to fall in love with the same sex?" Feng Yu lowered his voice.

Lin Xing's breathing was slightly stagnant, and then he smiled bitterly, "So you think so too."

"It's not that I think so, it's that most people think so." Feng Yu said calmly and helplessly, "Lin Xing, this world is like this, the minority obeys the majority, and unlike the majority, they are heterogeneous, heterogeneous, just to be eradicated."

"That's right..." Lin Xing lowered his head and murmured.She really wanted to refute Feng Yu's words. The times are always advancing, and the world is becoming more and more tolerant. Hundreds of years ago, homosexuals would be hanged | They are all independent individuals. As long as you don't say it, who will know that you are gay?

But Lin Xing couldn't even convince himself.

As long as a person lives in the world, he cannot be a completely independent individual, and malice and harm will always come from the closest people.Think about it, if Xu Xiwan looked at herself with fear and disgust... Lin Xing's heart seemed to be grasped by an invisible big hand, and she was so uncomfortable that she couldn't breathe.

Come to think of it, Feng Yu felt the same way.

"Are you planning to never say anything for the rest of your life?" Lin Xing asked Feng Yu reluctantly, as if to find some sense of approval from her, "In case Xiaohui gets married in the future, don't you say anything?"

"Let's take one step at a time. The future is so long, who knows what will happen in the future." Feng Yu shrugged his shoulders, more like self-comfort, "Maybe, by then I will not like Zhou Xiaohui and like others, then At that time, I brought my lover to her wedding happily, isn't everyone happy?"

Feng Yu kept laughing, but Lin Xing shed tears for her, hot liquid flowed out of her eyes, became cold in the wind, slid down her cheeks, and fell from her pointed chin.

For Feng Yu, crying in front of others is quite a shameful thing, so she turned her head away, not looking at Lin Xing who was crying, but turned back and put the tissue paper she carried with her on the table for Lin Xing to use for herself. take.

Lin Xing took one with tears in his eyes, covered his whole face, squatted on the ground, and cried softly, not knowing if he was feeling sorry for Feng Yu or himself.

Feng Yu has long accepted the reality through countless nights of crying alone. She has already gone through Lin Xing's current stage. When Lin Xing calmed down, wiped away her tears and stood up, Feng Yu said: "Actually, it's not what you thought. It's so bad, even if you are heterosexual, it doesn't mean that the person you like just likes you. Even if you are heterosexual, there are still a lot of people who are discriminated against for various reasons. There are people who discriminate against people because they eat salty or sweet food. This is how this world is, everyone discriminates against each other, thinks they are noble, can’t understand others and has nothing to do with others, most people just make do with it.”

Feng Yu said: "It really doesn't make much difference whether you like the same sex or the opposite sex."

Lin Xing wiped his face, calmed down, and then sighed from the bottom of his heart: "Feng Yu, I really envy you."

Feng Yu smiled, "What can I envy? I envy you almost."

Feng Yu said this sentence jokingly, seven parts were false and three parts were true.When she was young, her family was very poor. She used to envy Lin Xing very much. She envied that she was born with a golden spoon in her mouth. She never had to worry about money. When Feng Yu couldn't even afford a fifty-cent mechanical pencil, she could use it. A full set of genuine Disney stationery, but as she got older, she figured it out, and found that there was nothing to envy, the world was unfair, what kind of class has what kind of life, if you have time to envy others, it is better to take the time to leap forward.

And Lin Xing envied Feng Yu's transparent life.

Some people walk in the dark and cannot see the light of this world, some people live in the light and naively think that there is no darkness in this world, but in Feng Yu's eyes, this world seems to be neutral all the time , There is beauty, there is also ugliness, the two phases are in harmony, let's make do.

A kind of indifferent chic.

Lin Xing suddenly felt that his sympathy was simply a humiliation to Feng Yu. A person like her didn't need others to sympathize with her.

"Feng Yu, can I ask you a question?"

"what is the problem?"

"If... I mean, if I have someone I might like, but I'm not sure if I really like her, how can I be sure?"

Feng Yu thought for a while, "Everyone's situation is different, does your heart beat faster when you think about him?"

"Yes." Lin Xing was still puzzled, "But can this be used as a criterion? Maybe when I think of her before I like her, my heart beats faster?"

Feng Yu tapped his fingers on the railing, thought for a moment, and smiled a little, "I have a way, I can definitely judge."

Lin Xing leaned forward unconsciously, "What can I do? Tell me quickly."

"You close your eyes and imagine yourself kissing her. Do you feel disgusted and unbearable, or do you feel blushing and shy and want to hide in a crack?"

When Lin Xing heard the word "kiss", she felt a twitch in her heart. After listening to Feng Yu's words, she really closed her eyes and imagined that Xu Xiwan's lips moved towards her...

Lin Xing couldn't care about nausea anymore, her heart was about to burst out of her chest and jumped outside, her face was burning hot, even hotter than when she had a fever, she couldn't see it herself, but Feng Yu used her weak The moonlight was clearly visible, and Lin Xing's face quickly turned red, from the roots of his ears to his neck, like a prawn that was suddenly thrown into boiling water.

Feng Yu thought, she should already have the answer.

When Lin Xing opened her eyes, as Feng Yu said, she was so ashamed that she just wanted to crawl into the cracks in the ground. Her eyes wandered, and she didn't dare to look at Feng Yu. Feng Yu is a considerate person, and he didn't embarrass her when she was embarrassed. , excused that it was cold outside, entered the living room from the balcony, and left the completely independent space on the balcony to Lin Xing.

"Feng Yu...this fish...is delicious...you can eat some..."

Feng Yu walked into the restaurant, sat on the floor by the sofa, and listened to Zhou Xiaohui talking in her sleep unconsciously, without forgetting to smack her lips after speaking.

What a mess.Feng Yu thought.

But the way she looked at Zhou Xiaohui was very gentle, and the movements of covering Zhou Xiaohui with the quilt were also extremely delicate.

This person is careless, with a low EQ, but a good heart. When she was young, she wrongly blamed Feng Yu once and apologized to Feng Yu for nearly ten years. Afterwards, whenever this topic was brought up, she always said: "From that day on, Only then did I know how an asshole I am. But I have only been an asshole to you, and I will never dare to bully others again." Then he pulled Feng Yu to apologize, and asked Feng Yu to forgive her shamelessly, Feng Yu knew, She has had a bad conscience for so many years.

Feng Yu raised two fingers and touched his lips.

It has been a long time, but the soft touch of those few seconds still lingers.

Lin Xing's heart was pounding like a deer, and she didn't sleep all night, but she didn't feel sleepy at all. It wasn't until the sky became gray and white, that her heart became quieter, and she stopped beating so hard, but her face was still red, clearly the sun was shining brightly. Before she came out, the color of morning glow was already reflected on her face.

It wasn't until nine o'clock in the morning, when the sun had fully risen, that people in the living room got up one after another. They washed their faces in the bathroom outside, sobered up, and learned that there was no need to clean the "battlefield", they said goodbye to Lin Xing in pairs.

Zhou Xiaohui was the last one to wake up. She was so sleepy that she couldn't open her eyelids. She half-closed her sleepy eyes and said sleepily, "Mom...it's the weekend, please let me sleep a little longer..."

Feng Yu didn't like her, and directly grabbed her ear, "Open your eyes and see clearly, who is your mother?"

Zhou Xiaohui blinked, her pupils were focused, she stared at Feng Yu for half a minute, and then she lay down on Feng Yu's body, "So it's Feng Yu, don't make trouble, I'm sleepy, let's go to sleep for a while."

Feng Yu lost his temper.

Lin Xing suggested with a smile: "Do you want Uncle Wu to drive you back?"

Feng Yu asked her: "Then what do you do?"

"I'm fine. Anyway, my house is just across the street, and it takes a few minutes to walk there. If it doesn't work, you can ask Wanwan to pick me up. Seeing that Xiaohui won't wake up for a while, you can't touch her alone. Bar."

Feng Yu said: "Okay, then thank you Lin Xing, by the way, you come here and give me a hand, I will carry this dead pig on my back."

Lin Xing pursed his lips and smiled.

He obviously cares about others very much, but he is not forgiving at all. He really has a hard mouth.

Lin Xing always thought Feng Yu was mature and stable, but now he finally discovered her childish side.

Feng Yu carried Zhou Xiaohui downstairs. Lin Xing was afraid that she would not be able to carry it alone, so he supported Zhou Xiaohui's back behind her and went down with her.When they came out, Lin Xing's driver was waiting outside. Lin Xing told the driver to take Zhou Xiaohui and Feng Yu to their door respectively, and said that he walked back alone, and he would not pick him up later.

"That can't be done!" The driver reacted fiercely, "Xiaoxing, you should call Mr. Xu and let her know that you are going home alone, so she must be worried."

Lin Xingxin said that it was too late to bother Xu Xiwan, and besides, she had just confirmed her feelings for Xu Xiwan, and she hadn't figured out how to face Xu Xiwan, so she didn't dare to see her right now.

But the driver insisted on notifying Xu Xiwan, otherwise he would not leave, Lin Xing had no choice but to call Xu Xiwan.

"Xiaoxing, is your party over?" Xu Xiwan answered the phone and asked her first.

Lin Xing hadn't seen her yet, but just hearing her voice, her heart was already hot, and her face soon turned red again. She shook her head quickly to prevent herself from thinking wildly, and then said, "Well, classmates We all went home, Xiaohui was still sleeping, I asked Uncle Wu to take her and Feng Yu back first."

"Then how did you come back by yourself?"

"Just walk back, it's not far anyway."

Sure enough, Xu Xiwan disagreed, and just said: "You can wait for me there for a while, I just came out too, and I will be there in about two to three minutes."

"Okay, then I'll give Uncle Wu the phone, and you can tell him." After speaking, Lin Xing handed the phone to the driver.

The driver answered the phone, "Hey Mr. Xu...Okay...well, okay, goodbye." He responded respectfully to the phone a few times, and then asked: "Then are you still talking to Xiaoxing?"

Xu Xiwan said, "No need."

"Okay, then you are busy, goodbye." After receiving Xu Xiwan's instructions, he returned the phone to Lin Xing, said goodbye to her, stepped on the accelerator, and sent Feng Yu and Zhou Xiaohui back, leaving Lin Xing alone Wait for Xu Xi to be late.

Lin Xing had nothing to do, so he stared at a leaf downstairs, observing it intently.

The leaf had been eaten by moths, and there was a hole the size of a little finger in the middle. It had a strange shape, like a distorted heart shape. Lin Xing was attracted by it just by looking at it.

Xu Xiwan didn't go anywhere today, and made a special trip to pick up Lin Xing.When she drove close, she saw Lin Xing standing under a tree, with her head up, looking hard into the leaves.

The sunshine in the morning was very gentle, and through the gaps in the leaves, it sprinkled a little light and shadow on Lin Xing's face. As the wind swayed gently, Xu Xiwan's heart was gently touched. Get down the silhouette of Lin Xing.

There is no need to deliberately compose the picture, the green girl in the shade of the tree, the green tree in the white skirt, just a casual shot, it is already as beautiful as a carefully drawn watercolor painting.

Lin Xing stared at the leaf above his head for a while, then suddenly stood on tiptoe and raised his hand high, wanting to pick that leaf.It's a pity that she is too short, her toes are tiptoed to the limit, and only the tip of her middle finger can slightly touch the edge of the blade.

She was so obsessed with the broken leaf that she didn't realize that Xu Xiwan had got off the car and walked to her side.

Lin Xing was concentrating on picking leaves, but his toes were unsteady when standing on tiptoe. When he slipped, he was about to fall to the ground. Suddenly, he felt a soft arm catch his waist. Lin Xing caught something in a panic, and waited She realized that she was already in Xu Xiwan's arms, and Xu Xiwan's hand firmly supported her waist. Lin Xing raised his head, and the top of his hair just rubbed against the tip of Xu Xiwan's nose.

"Can you be careful? If you are so reckless, what should you do if you really broke it?" Xu Xiwan smiled helplessly with a bit of distress.

It has been a long time since Lin Xing has been so close to Xu Xiwan. If she had been calmer before, but she just found out what she wanted, and she fell into Xu Xiwan's arms, her chest was tightly pressed against Xu Xiwan's. Tie, her heart was beating like a drum, she was afraid that Xu Xiwan would hear it, and she would run away in a second, and after taking a few steps, she stumbled and asked, "Wan... Wanwan, when did you come?"

Her face was hot, fearing that Xu Xiwan would find out, so she lowered her head as hard as she could.

"When you are staring at the leaves." Xu Xiwan looked up like Lin Xing did just now, "I also want to see how beautiful the leaves are, which attracted Xiao Xing so engrossed."

Only then did Lin Xing remember the residual leaf she was obsessed with.

"Here, that's the one." Lin Xing raised his head again, and pointed out his finger to Xu Xiwan, "Look, Wanwan, does the hole in this leaf look like a heart?"

Xu Xiwan looked in the direction of Lin Xing's finger.

In fact, it is not very similar, the moth-eaten gap is crooked, and only a little heart shape can be barely seen.

Xu Xiwan smiled and said, "Like, really like."

Only a girl can have such innocence and romance, keenly discovering a heart among thousands of leaves.

Lin Xing was very happy to get Xu Xiwan's approval, but she was not happy for a few minutes before she said regretfully, "Unfortunately, I couldn't get it."

Xu Xiwan smiled, looked at the leaf, raised his hand, picked it off effortlessly, and inserted it between Lin Xing's hair, "Okay, now you can pick it."

Lin Xing blinked.

There is a leaf on her head, looking at it from Xu Xiwan's perspective, she looks a little cute and dull.

Lin Xing reached out and plucked the leaves from his hair.

She looked at the leaf, raised her hand again, and pointed the leaf to the sun, so the sunlight passed through the hole in the middle of the leaf, and it also became a heart shape.

Lin Xing said, "Wanwan, may I give it to you?"

Xu Xiwan smiled softly, kept his eyes on Lin Xing, and said "yes".

Lin Xing solemnly put this leaf in Xu Xiwan's shirt pocket that was close to her chest, she thought, Wanwan, I will give you my heart, from now on, my heart will stick to yours .

Such a delicate and soft girl's heart, Lin Xing didn't say it, even Xu Xiwan couldn't guess it.

But Xu Xiwan still kept that residual leaf as a treasure.

At that moment, Lin Xing suddenly understood Feng Yu.

If you really like someone, it doesn't matter if that person doesn't understand, as long as you can silently like her and treat her well, your heart will already be like floating in the clouds.

Knowing that this is just wishful thinking and self-moving, it is enough to satisfy people.

Just like her silently, Lin Xing thought, when he grows strong enough to stand side by side with Xu Xiwan, then he probably has the right to love her.

But before that, if someone was there first and snatched Xu Xiwan away, what would happen?

Lin Xing thought about it all the way, but couldn't think of a way, so he had to treat himself as a child, and act like a baby with Xu Xiwan for the last time, begging her, asking her, "Wanwan, can you wait until I grow up, to love someone else?"

At that time, even if someone likes me at night, I will not be afraid, at that time I can compete fairly with that person.

Xu Xiwan thought that she would never fall in love with another person in this life, but she still asked curiously: "Then Xiaoxing thinks how old you have to be to be considered a grown-up?"

Lin Xing thought for a while, and said, "Well, Wanwan, wait until I grow up, and before that, don't like others, okay?"

Such a request is actually very selfish, but Lin Xing can't control that much anymore, she has to guarantee that before she is qualified to love someone, Xu Xiwan will not be taken away by others.

Xu Xiwan couldn't bear to refuse such a selfish request, so he could only say yes.