Invitation

I don't know how I got back, and I forgot how the wound was bandaged. I don't know what happened after that. I just remember that Qin Feng boarded the plane with me in silence all the way, and sent me back home in silence. I wanted to talk to him so much, I turned around and closed the door when I entered the room: "I won't leave you alone, you leave me alone for a while."

Qin Feng held onto the door frame with a complicated expression: "Bai Zhou, don't you want to see me anymore?"

I didn't speak, and suddenly I was very, very tired. I was so tired that I almost couldn't open my eyes. I just wanted to close the door and sleep in the dark.

Qin Feng's eye circles suddenly turned red: "Okay, I know, I also know that I did too much... I won't come, you are doing well, are you okay?"

"Old Qin," I called to him who turned to leave, "I don't blame you, you saved me. It's all... all life."

Qin Feng didn't look back, he raised his sleeve and wiped his eyes fiercely, cursed "Fucking life", and walked away quickly.

After Qin Feng left, I didn't even have the energy to go to the bedroom, so I just fell on the sofa. I haven't slept for two or three days. The memories of my previous life and... and what happened after that, together with the exhaustion of running around for a few days, made me physically and mentally exhausted , I fell asleep almost immediately. When I woke up, my eyes were still sore and my mind was dizzy. There was no light in the room, it was pitch black, and everything was just a blurred outline in the night. I slept a bit fragmented. Forgot Jinxi and Hexi for a while, and blurted out: "Xiaoyun..."

No one answered me.

I suddenly remembered all the things that happened before, and I remembered that no one would answer me again. The severe pain knocked me down instantly. The psychological and physical pain passed a little bit, but I found it was useless-I thought the next minute would be better, but every second was more uncomfortable than the last second. I lay silently for a while, got up and turned on the light .

I stood barefoot in the middle of the living room. The room was bright and quiet, except for the whistling sound of electricity from the lamp.The Brazilian tortoise in the glass tank was still asleep, so I went over and fished it out of the tank and held it in my arms.It was woken up by me, and I shrank my head lazily. I don’t know why, but I wanted to laugh. I remembered that I met Yunyu last year because of it. At that time, I took a DV...

I couldn't think about it anymore, my legs were getting weak, and I was squatting on the ground, waiting for the dizziness to pass.

This home is like a museum of memories. All the memories that followed the death of that person danced vividly before my eyes, revived one by one, except that person.

He is in the bedroom, he is in the living room, watching a movie with me on the sofa, turning the spatula in the kitchen, the smell of food can be smelled in the corridor, he is sitting and reading in front of the small bay window on the balcony, waiting I go home.

The book... I was thinking about it, and suddenly I remembered the "Shi Shuo Xin Yu" on the bookshelf. Yunyu had looked at it many times and said that it had spirits. I ran to the bookshelf and pulled it out like a convulsion. I flicked through the book, expecting to find something in this spiritual ancient book, but I am a mortal after all, I found nothing, no miracle happened.

I only saw a line of words written by him on the title page of the book. Xiaoyun's handwriting is beautiful, but I can't get used to using the hard pen. He copied the song "Caizhou" neatly.

"Flying the other cypress boat, also sailing its currents. If you are insomnia, if you have hidden worries. If you have no wine, you can swim with Ao...

My heart is a stone, and I can't change it.My heart is full, and I can't roll it..."

He wrote a sentence below the poem.

"My love, Ah Zhou, his death will kill him."

I closed my eyes, the sudden explosion of pain in my chest forced me to cover my heart, the book in my hand fell with a bang and hit the back of my foot, I felt nothing at all.I can imagine what kind of mood he was in when he wrote this sentence, and I can even imagine his facial expressions and movements when writing. He wrote my name under the lamp in two lifetimes, with such a gentle and focused expression, It's like drawing a portrait of your sweetheart on paper.

I always thought that "death to kill it" was a passionate oath, but I didn't expect it to be a sad prophecy.

In a panic, I staggered out of the study, returned to the living room, and fell down on the sofa.I gasped for breath, fumbled in the gap of the sofa to find the remote control and turned on the TV. I desperately needed a little sound in the room. The host of the variety show on TV laughed heartlessly. Looking at the TV screen, my heart is numb and cold like a finger that has lost too much blood.I don't seem to have eaten much these days, and I'm not hungry, but my stomach hurts like a needle, I think I should force myself to eat, so I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator.There are still some meals in the refrigerator that Yunyu made before we left. I put them in the microwave and took them out. I put a chopstick of food into my mouth and chewed it a few times. At that moment, my tears burst into tears. It flowed out, I couldn't control it at all, the taste of the food was so familiar, as if the person who made it was sitting opposite me, like every day before, at that moment I realized that Yunyu was really not there up.I lay on the table with a mouthful of food in my mouth and cried loudly. I cried hoarsely and was out of breath. I ran to the toilet and vomited until I was dehydrated, and then passed out in the toilet.

No one called 120 for me this time.I myself woke up in the wee hours of the morning.

I didn't ask for leave.The next day I got up and went to work.I can't stop, I can't stay in that house full of memories, and I know if I sink in, I'll either die at home or I'll go crazy.But I have to live. I am a grown man, the only son of the Bai family, and it is my duty to live.I have already experienced the pain of losing a spouse, and I can no longer let my elderly parents bear the pain of losing a child. I have experienced too many human tragedies during this period, and I cannot add more.

The bruises pinched by Yunyu on my neck gradually faded away, and the wound on my chest festered because I kept forgetting to change the dressing. In the end, I had to go back and forth to the hospital. The nurse said while disinfecting my wound. There may be scars, I said, keep it, it's good.

The stomach problem that I hadn't had since getting to know Yunyu recurred again.At the worst I couldn't eat anything, and the stomach pain sometimes kept me awake at night, forcing me to take huge amounts of pain relievers and stomach medicines.When my stomach doesn't hurt, I can seldom fall asleep. I often keep my eyes open until dawn, and occasionally I will sleep for a while, and my dreams are all about him.I can no longer sleep on the bed we used to be lingering on, and sleep on the sofa every night. I started to take medicine to maintain my sleep, from melatonin at the beginning to Biolena, and then to sleeping pills.The dosage of sleeping pills ranged from a quarter tablet to half a tablet, until now I had to take two sleeping pills every night to barely fall asleep.I really want to drink until I'm so drunk to numb myself, because it's too difficult to stay awake in this room full of memories, but with the state of my stomach, it's really easy to drink like that. I die at home.I can't drink alcohol, and my addiction to cigarettes has become heavier. I used to smoke only one or two cigarettes a day, sometimes I didn't smoke a cigarette, but now I smoke two packs a day.Once a colleague came to my house to look for me. When I opened the door, he coughed and smacked his lips looking at the cigarette butts all over the place. He asked me, "Why are you smoking so hard recently?"

I didn't respond, I flicked the cigarette ash: "Refreshing."

During this time, I seemed to be living in a vacuum. The world had no sound, no color, and I didn't breathe.I have lived in such a muddle for more than three months, and I am almost used to smoking every day, taking stomach medicine, painkillers, sleeping pills, going to work and sleeping, the machine is numb, and my heart is ashamed.Until one day, Qin Feng kicked open the door of my room on a weekend, followed by a policeman who unlocked it and a policeman from our community.

I was woken up by Qin Feng's slap, sat up in a daze, raised my eyes to look at him: "What are you doing here?"

Qin Feng didn't know whether he was in a hurry or running away, sweating all over his head: "I called you and you didn't answer, knocked on your door and you didn't open, kicked the door and couldn't wake you up, you scared me to death, I him Mom thought you died at home!"

oh.I didn't sleep the night before yesterday. I thought it was the weekend anyway. I accidentally took too many sleeping pills. The medicine made me sleep too deeply. Even when I woke up, I was still dizzy.I didn't say anything, and waved to Qin Feng.Qin Feng sent away the unlocking brother and the policeman, gradually calmed down, sat by my bed, was silent for a while, and said: "I know you don't want to see me, but..."

"It's nothing, I don't want to see anyone."

He stopped for a moment and sighed: "There is a big event. You go somewhere with me."

I said, "What's the big deal? I don't want to go."

He touched my shoulder: "Let's go. You don't look like a human anymore. I'll take you to a place."

I was a little impatient: "What are you going to do? Go back if you have nothing to do, and leave me alone at home."

Qin Feng blinked and said, "I have a surprise for you."

The author has something to say: I can't take it anymore, I can't take it anymore, hurry up and finish writing this sour and bitter part, and the next chapter will start to be sweet again!

Speaking of which, this can be considered a double change.

There are two pieces of "Bozhou" in "Book of Songs", one is from "Beifeng", which is the one copied by Yunyu, and the feeling is more sad and melancholy; the other is from "Yongfeng", "Death will sweep it away" It is from this article, which is more affectionate and strong. "Death will kill it", which means "until death will not change your mind".

Thanks to the little angels who voted for me as the overlord.

Thanks to the little angel who voted [Landmine]: 1 addiction, 1 Shenyin

Thanks to the little angel who threw the [grenade]: Ye Buxie always attacked 1

Thanks to the little angels for irrigating me with the nutrient solution.

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：月半仙超帅72瓶、拼图们的幸福咖啡30瓶、圆远远远远20瓶、江查子10瓶、300八八5瓶、网友阿岑3瓶