River City Story

Under the light, the small patch of reddish skin on Lin Yan's right face was particularly eye-catching.He Zhengxi put his arms around the back of Lin Yan's head, wanting to take a closer look.

"Brother, are you dizzy? How are your ears? Can you hear me clearly?" He asked cautiously.He Zhengxi still remembered Lin Yan being slapped and sent to the hospital by Xu Jialin when he was a child.

Lin Yan broke free from his hand and stood up, walked with a blank expression on his face and said, "I'm going to take a shower."

He Zhengxi followed behind him silently, all the way from the bedroom to the balcony, and then to the bathroom.

"I won't seek death." Lin Yan turned around suddenly, "I was just a little confused just now, but I'm fine now."

He Zhengxi quickly put the paper cutter that had just been put away from the desk into his pocket, and stammered, "...oh...oh, I didn't think about that." He scratched his hair unnaturally, and rushed to Lin Yan Smiling, "Go in, I'll come over and wash your face."

"It's up to you." Lin Yan took off his coat and threw it into the laundry basket, and opened the frosted glass door with a bath towel on. He had a long sleeve and shorts inside, but He Zhengxi still looked away. He looked down, looked down at Lin Yan's ankles and calves carefully.When the glass door was closed, he could only make out a rough idea, but he could still know what was going on inside, so he felt more at ease.

He Zhengxi washed his face indiscriminately, leaning on the sink and staring at the bathroom.He didn't know what Lin Yan and Lin Xucheng said, but when he entered the door and saw Lin Yan's appearance, he still broke out in cold sweat for a while.

"Brother Xiao He." Lin Cong walked over, twisting his hands, "I'm sorry, what happened today is all my fault."

He Zhengxi looked up at him, then at the figure in the bathroom who was taking a bath, finally sighed, and signaled Lin Cong to go out and talk.The two returned to the living room, Lin Xucheng hadn't left yet, he took out a cigarette and was about to light it up.

"Don't smoke, my brother doesn't like it." He Zhengxi told him.

Lin Xucheng felt unhappy with the same speaking attitude as Lin Yan. He looked at He Zhengxi with a cigarette in his mouth, like a superior looking at a kid.But He Zhengxi didn't care, and insisted: "Don't smoke, it's the second time."

Lin Cong knew that Lin Xucheng would not take the initiative to listen to He Zhengxi's words, so he walked over and snatched the cigarette and lighter from his hand, and said in a low voice, "This is my brother's house, you should also be careful!"

Lin Xucheng twirled his fingers and asked He Zhengxi, "What's the matter with Lin Yan? Is he always like this?"

He Zhengxi didn't intend to give Lin Xucheng a good look, but said coldly: "You don't understand? My brother doesn't want your money, and didn't take your things. Please let him be quiet. Don't just come here when you have nothing to do. One lap, like a charity event."

"I just want to do something that he can accept as much as possible within the scope of my ability," Lin Xucheng said.There was no concern in his tone, but it seemed a little unbelievable, similar to the meaning of "I treat him well, why should he not accept it".

He Zhengxi burst out laughing, and said, "At your age, even if you know you've done something wrong, it's probably impossible for you to repent."

Seeing that Lin Xucheng was about to speak again, he opened his mouth and continued: "My brother understands what kind of person you are. He treats Lin Cong very well, but that doesn't mean he will treat you very well. Do you understand what I mean?"

Lin Xucheng frowned, obviously already displeased with He Zhengxi's words, "You are only a teenager, I will talk to Lin Yan again after he takes a shower."

"Let me refuse for him." He Zhengxi walked up to Lin Xucheng, suppressed the anger in his heart, and said forcefully, "If you provoke my brother again, I would rather commit a crime than kill you and your wife."

Lin Xucheng's eyes widened in surprise, and even his wrinkles were smoothed out. Soon, he stretched out a smile and said to He Zhengxi, "You really care about this half-way brother."

He Zhengxi raised his chin: "Of course, I'm human, you're scum, we're different."

Some childish appearance and behavior style, but firm eyes, very brave.Lin Xucheng doesn't know the growth process of the boy in front of him and Lin Yan, let alone take the initiative to understand, but at the same time, he must admit that the young life he gave up more than ten years ago has grown up now, and even quietly affects looking at everyone around.This He Zhengxi is completely a strong version of Lin Yan.

The living room was very quiet, and the three of them stood without saying a word.Over there, Lin Yan had finished taking a shower and was staring at the washing machine spinning clothes.He was too lazy to go out and was tired of facing Lin Xucheng.It was supposed to be a relaxed and comfortable night, but someone turned it into what it is now.He wondered if he was too stubborn, torturing himself and torturing others.But if not, what should he do?He can't let himself throw away things that he has held on to for more than ten years.

Lin Xucheng vaguely heard the sound of the washing machine, and wanted to walk over, but He Zhengxi stretched out his arm to stop him.

"I won't do anything to him." Lin Xucheng said, "He is still my son after all."

He Zhengxi picked out his ears and said with a playful smile, "Don't you feel sick when you say that? If you don't leave, I'll call the police." He took out his phone and shook Lin Xucheng, "Why don't you find a lawyer to come over and talk? My cousin runs a law firm, and I did an internship there during the summer vacation, and I know some professionals, I believe they can make you dare not step here again."

Lin Xucheng didn't care about such a threat, but he also ran out of patience, so he put on his coat and said to He Zhengxi, "Is there anyone at home tomorrow morning?"

"Don't you have the key?" He Zhengxi said, "Remember to restore it to its original state, even if there is a deviation of one centimeter."

"That's good." Lin Xucheng nodded, turned around and called Lin Cong to go with him, but Lin Cong was unwilling.

"The wings hardened so quickly?"

"I live here very comfortably." Lin Cong sat on the camp bed that was still lying in front of the bedroom door, and said to Lin Xucheng.

"Don't make trouble anymore, don't even try to get a penny of pocket money from me." Lin Xucheng said sternly.

Lin Cong didn't take it seriously, but said stiffly, "Then I'll sue you." He hid behind the tent and boldly confronted Lin Xucheng, "I'm telling you that you don't care about your own son, and you still have to go to your hometown to build roads and bridges to pretend to be a good man." !"

"Is this the way you're talking to your father?!" Lin Xucheng felt that his lungs were going to explode. He didn't expect Lin Cong, a little thing who was always timid, to say such a thing.

"I think you deserve a beating!" He snarled at Lin Cong, "You're living too comfortably, you've gotten carried away, haven't you?!"

Lin Cong poked out half of his face and shouted: "You hit my brother just now, and now you're going to hit me again. You offended both sons in one night, what a fool!"

The more Lin Yan listened in the bathroom, the more helpless he became. He guessed that Lin Xucheng was on the verge of going crazy at this moment, and he might be blamed for leading Lin Cong down.

"Brother, why don't we call the police? How long will this quarrel last? It's too unreasonable for us." He Zhengxi walked over and said quietly.

"Just let them make trouble. I think Lin Cong is also a material that can be made." Lin Yan stared at the washing machine intently, and said indifferently.

He Zhengxi was not sure what Lin Yan was thinking, so he stood side by side with him and leaned against the sink in a daze.

About five or six minutes later, the laundry was finished, He Zhengxi went to the balcony to dry, Lin Yan finished packing and walked into the living room, looked at the two of them and said, "Take this as your own home, how about I go?" Before they could answer, Lin Yan went to the kitchen on his own, and whispered: "However, I won't go, I haven't eaten dinner yet, but I don't have any of you, I suggest ordering takeaway, it's better to order us Restaurant, don't expect discounts..."

"What are you mumbling about?" He Zhengxi leaned against the kitchen door frame with an empty basin, "Go and rest, I'll get it done."

Lin Yan raised his face, his eyes were a little dazed, and he replied without thinking: "I forgot to defrost the beef."

He Zhengxi asked suspiciously: "Is there no beef at home? Before you left, you said you went back to the market to buy it. It's so late, there's no need to eat that, it's not easy to digest."

"No more?" Lin Yan lowered his head, and suddenly said in a hurry: "Why is there no more? I'll go and have a look." He opened the refrigerator, rummaged through layers, and said to He Zhengxi with an apologetic face: "Really No, I can't make you beef stew tonight, what should I do?"

He Zhengxi pulled Lin Yan who was squatting on the ground up, and said softly, "We'll do it tomorrow, let's cook noodles tonight, shall we?"

Lin Yan raised his voice and said nervously with trembling hands, "But...but, you..."

At this moment, He Zhengxi began to realize that Lin Yan must have gone wrong again.He didn't have the mood to deal with the two people in the living room anymore, so he had to coax them into the bedroom first, and then started calling Su Wen.Su Wenyuan was in Xicheng, and He Zhengxi turned on the video on his mobile phone, allowing Lin Yan and Su Wen to have a brief chat for a few minutes.Lin Yan was still fidgeting, and even had some slight difficulty breathing.

But Su Wen was only a psychological counselor, not a doctor, and he couldn't fly over to help with counseling immediately. In the end, he suggested that He Zhengxi take Lin Yan to the hospital as soon as possible. He guessed that Lin Yan might be prone to severe anxiety.

"My brother's re-examination results have always been good..." He Zhengxi whispered to Su Wen, "I really didn't expect it to become serious again. Maybe that scum came over tonight and made him feel a little stimulated."

Su Wen said on the phone: "It's best to give him a more comprehensive physical examination to eliminate unnecessary worries. Remember to listen to the doctor's advice on the treatment plan..." Then he comforted: "Actually, your brother It’s not a bad situation, he knows what he’s doing and what he’s saying. Now the theories and technologies in this area are being updated, and the cure rate is also increasing, so you can’t panic.”

How could He Zhengxi not panic, Lin Yan has always been smart and outstanding, he still needs to continue his studies, or become an excellent chain restaurant manager.It would be unimaginable if life was forcibly diverted to another path because of such things!

Maybe because he sensed something wrong with He Zhengxi, Su Wen comforted him: "Your brother will be fine, you have to believe in his ability. Besides, you are the closest person to him, so you have to be absolutely strong, understand?"

He Zhengxi responded with choked up sobs, expressed his thanks to Su Wen, and hung up the phone.He didn't dare to look back at Lin Yan, for fear that he would be uncontrollably sad.

"Don't worry too much, my mind was a little messed up just now." Sitting on the bed, Lin Yan said suddenly, "Just like a computer processor, it's normal to have some problems occasionally. I know my situation, and I'm sober , will not do dangerous things."

He Zhengxi blinked a few times, swallowed back his tears, walked up to Lin Yan, hugged him and said, "I think this world is too unfair."

Lin Yan laughed twice, then rubbed his face sadly, and said, "How can there be so much fairness to be said, fairness depends on oneself."

He Zhengxi didn't know how to speak, as if any words of comfort were too frivolous, he hugged Lin Yan tightly, his chin resting on Lin Yan's shoulder repeatedly.

"Don't be afraid." Lin Yan patted He Zhengxi on the back, "Actually, there are medicines in the drawer, but I don't always take them. This time, it looks like I'm going to admit defeat."

"Brother..." He Zhengxi stroked Lin Yan's cheek, "We will never admit defeat, we will never admit defeat."

For the time being, He Zhengxi didn't dare to let Lin Yan stay in the bedroom by himself. He called Lin Cong over and ordered Lin Cong to cook dinner. He dragged a chair and stayed there all the time, talking to or listening to Lin Yan.

Every time he talked for a while, Lin Yan smiled at He Zhengxi and repeated the phrase "Don't worry too much." In He Zhengxi's ears, such words were like a sharp knife cutting his heart inch by inch.

Lin Cong might have guessed that Lin Yan might not be in a good condition, so when he brought in the two portions of noodles, he was very quiet and didn't bother them.

"You stay here tomorrow and supervise them moving the furniture." He Zhengxi stopped him and said, "I'll go out with my brother."

Lin Cong nodded quickly: "I see."

When he reached the door, he stopped again, and He Zhengxi asked what was the matter, but Lin Cong stood still and only blinked a few times to let him pass.

"Say something quickly, I don't have time to talk to you." He Zhengxi said.

"...I'll tell you when you come here." Lin Cong insisted, grabbing the door frame.

Lin Yan laughed directly: "It's like talking about cross talk, you two just chat here, don't pay too much attention to me."

He Zhengxi picked up the bowl, sucked on the noodles and walked to Lin Cong, beckoning him to hurry up.

"Okay." Lin Cong rummaged through his trouser pocket for a while, took out a card, stuffed it into He Zhengxi's hand, and said, "You guys know the password, just use it if you need it."

He Zhengxi threw it back for him again: "Take it away, how many cents do you still need? Maybe something urgent will happen someday."

"I don't need my little character for urgent matters!" Lin Cong ran directly in front of Lin Yan, stuffed the card into his jacket pocket, turned around and said, "If you don't want it, I'll just use it to play games!"

"Hey you! Really, you have a heart!" He Zhengxi shouted at the gate of the station.

"Just save money for him." Lin Yan said, "It probably won't be needed."

He Zhengxi closed the door and sat back. Seeing that Lin Yan had put down his chopsticks, he picked up a small strand of noodles from his own bowl, and said to Lin Yan, "Try mine?"

Silently, Lin Yan lay on the bed sideways, staring at the wallpaper in a daze. Seeing that he was unwilling to speak, He Zhengxi stopped asking, and lowered his head to concentrate on eating noodles.

A few minutes later, Lin Yan turned his face and stared at He Zhengxi.

"Huh?" He Zhengxi swallowed a mouthful of noodle soup, "What's wrong?"

Lin Yan reached out and hooked a bunch of keys on the table, bent down to open the bedside table, and pulled out a paper file bag.He Zhengxi was still holding the bowl in both hands, and Lin Yan put the file bag on his lap.

"What?" He Zhengxi put down the bowl, wiped his hands and picked it up.

Lin Yan said: "If one day my mind is really not clear, you can send me back to Xicheng. The fixed deposit here should be enough to find a hospital for a while."

He Zhengxi's action of untangling the rope stopped immediately, he quickly threw the file bag into the cabinet, grabbed the key from Lin Yan's hand, inserted it, turned it twice and locked it again, and said forcefully: "How is it possible, you are not That kind of problem. Besides, even if that’s the case, I will definitely guard you for the rest of my life.” He stacked up two bowls and was about to take them out for washing. Before going out, he said, “I won’t take this thing. When the time comes to pay Uncle Xu the down payment, isn't this your goal all along?"

"I mean, just in case, there is also a preparation..."

"Don't think about it, there's no such possibility!" He Zhengxi raised his voice and shouted tremblingly, "Brother, don't tell me these things again, please..."

A vague mist rose from his eyes, but it disappeared quickly.

Lin Yan's eyes fell on He Zhengxi's tightened arms. He realized that he might have frightened He Zhengxi again, so he quickly put on his usual gentle smile and said, "Sorry, I didn't intend to put pressure on you. mean."

"It's not pressure, it's fear." He Zhengxi said, "I'm really too scared. As long as you live well, nothing else matters."

Lin Yan said with a smile: "It must be, the cemetery is too expensive now, it's a waste of money, just for this, I will never do that kind of thing, how about it?"

"As long as you know it!" He Zhengxi snorted pretending to be angry, and walked out.

Lin Xucheng had already left, Lin Cong was mopping the floor in the living room, and when He Zhengxi passed by him, he suddenly felt a little angry.The last time Yu Qin came over, Lin Yan broke his head, this time Lin Xucheng directly made Lin Yan almost collapse.He is clearly trying to draw a clear line, but the bad intersection still exists. He is worried that Lin Yan will be tortured by them over and over again, and in the end, he may only be on the road of self-destruction.

"My brother...how is he?" Lin Cong asked with his head shrunk.

He Zhengxi didn't answer directly, but said: "I have a discussion with you, and you must agree."

"Tell me." Lin Cong gripped the mop handle.

He Zhengxi pressed his brows wearily, pulled him to the entrance, and sighed: "You can watch the workers finish moving the furniture tomorrow, so go back and live for now."

"Why?" Lin Cong became nervous, "I can do housework for you, and I will also study hard, so why don't you just let me stay here?"

He Zhengxi looked at him fixedly, and refused: "If you are allowed to live here again, maybe one day, the two of them will come over together and go crazy! Lin Yan can't be stimulated anymore, he will really be attracted by you Parents forced to die, I'm not kidding."

Lin Cong was startled, "Is my brother's illness that serious?"

He Zhengxi thought about it for a long time, and said hesitantly: "He had suicidal tendencies when he was a freshman, and I only found out about it later. My brother understood his situation and has been seeing a doctor, trying hard to get over it. Not bad, but..."

"But because of me and my parents, he became serious again, right?" Lin Cong said, staring at the ground.

"Maybe, I don't know, it must be related to me. The cause of this disease is very complicated. It's not just an emotional problem, and I can't explain it clearly in a sentence or two."

He Zhengxi was a little depressed. He took out his phone and swipe through the photo album repeatedly. There were photos Cai Xusheng took of Lin Yan, as well as group photos, graduation photos, and ID photos of various classes in junior and senior high schools.He Zhengxi spent some time collecting these things. When there was no electronic master, he would find the originals, scan them and save them in his phone.

"Lin Yan in the past was not what he is now." He Zhengxi told Lin Cong with memories, and some fragments from many years ago quickly flew through his mind, as clearly as if it happened yesterday.

"You have no idea how vigorous his vitality was when he was a teenager. It's like the metasequoia tree in the school, straight and straight, with green branches and leaves. Maybe there are people who are better than him in the world, but in my heart, there is indeed no one. He is a better person than him. He wears shabby and plain clothes, and he always saves money to buy things for me. Before dawn, he will go out with the neighbor’s grandfather to set up a stall to sell breakfast. My child, shopping, traveling, playing games, squandering his youth freely, but my brother...my brother has never enjoyed these. I used to be very muddleheaded, always indulged in Lin Yan's tolerance for me, and rarely took the initiative To understand his mood, when I knew he was sick, I felt... I was only three years younger than him, how could this be..." He Zhengxi slid and sat on the ground exhaustedly, covering his face Buried in the arms.

In the process of flipping through the memories, he felt again that he had been wasting the tenderness and devotion from Lin Yan recklessly.Why are you only now starting to regret it?He regretted returning to Yancheng, and regretted being stubborn and awkward at that time.

Lin Cong didn't have a similar experience, so he couldn't understand He Zhengxi's sadness, but he could feel that if He Zhengxi continued to entangle, there might be problems.He hesitated and squatted down, with guilt on his face, and said sincerely: "I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with you, it's all my parents, it's their fault, don't blame yourself like this, my brother definitely doesn't want to see you like this .”

He Zhengxi shook his head: "Forget it, it's useless to say that now." He wiped his face, let out a sigh of relief, squeezed Lin Cong's shoulders and said: "Although there are some things, I have no position to say. But Lin Yan really I really like your little brother, so please do your best, no matter what you do."

Lin Cong immediately replied: "Yes, I will."

"Really?"

"This time it's true!"

"Okay..." He Zhengxi smiled, "The noodles are cooked well, continue to hone them."

Lin Cong saw that he had recovered a little, and his mood also improved. He clenched his fists and let out an oh.

That night, He Zhengxi still slept on the same bed with Lin Yan.Better than most depression patients, Lin Yan has been sleeping well.He seldom suffers from insomnia and has a regular life rhythm. When the restaurant is not on duty at night, Lin Yan can definitely fall asleep before 11 o'clock.

In the dark, He Zhengxi felt the rising and falling breathing of the people around him, his thoughts seemed to be floating on the sea, and the bits and pieces of getting along with Lin Yan when he was a child were swaying in front of his eyes from time to time.These images, which once made him happy, now make him sad.

It has been 10 years since I met Lin Yan. Who would have imagined what life would be like for them 10 years ago?At that time, they were still teenagers, and the things they were thinking about every day were nothing more than studying and saving pocket money, or what tricks they could make for three meals.What is depression?What is anxiety?Who will know?Who wants to know?

Time is always extremely pure at a certain stage, but when people are intoxicated by it, it will inadvertently become extremely cruel.

He Zhengxi is not reconciled, not reconciled that a good person like Lin Yan is always suffering, not reconciled that Lin Xucheng's bastard can still have money and fame, and not reconciled that he is still not strong enough now.

Lin Yan's only sense of security comes from himself, from those desperate efforts that dare not stop every minute and every second.If you don't work hard, you won't get a scholarship; if you don't work hard, you won't earn money; if you don't work hard...you can't live with dignity.Everyone has a different attitude towards survival, and this belongs to Lin Yan.

There was nothing wrong with rushing all the way, but He Zhengxi didn't want Lin Yan to do it anymore.