she is on top

My name is Su Luoyang.

From my grandfather's generation, our Su family has been the prince of Luoyang for generations.

On the day my mother and concubine gave birth to me, the pain was unbearable, and it can be said that I walked through the gate of hell.The father wanted to rush into the delivery room several times, but was stopped by the grandfather.

It snowed a lot in Luoyang that day, and it was the first snow since the beginning of winter. The auspicious snow heralds a good year, and the people in the city were very happy, and it happened that I came to the gorgeous and prosperous world on this day.

My birth surprised both my father and grandfather. The three generations of the Su family have not given birth to a daughter, so from the day I was born, I have a unique name with glory and faith. This ancient city is exactly the same: Su Luoyang.

I have known the meaning and responsibility of this name since I was a child.

For me, childhood was very short. From the moment my concubine gave birth to Chenger and passed away, I no longer had childhood.

At that time, I didn't know what kind of place the mother concubine went to, and why everyone said that she would never come back.But, why does the mother and concubine like Luoyang so much, but she doesn't want to take Luoyang with her?

During the time when my concubine passed away, a little boy would often come to my house to play with me.I still remember the light in his eyes when he and his father first came to my house to see me.

"Hello.. My name is Qi Han.. My father said, you are my future wife, and I am a man.. So.. I want to protect you and not make you sad." When the boy said this Twitchy, with a slight blush on his face, his future wife is so beautiful, like a fairy descending from the earth.

wife?What is a wife and can it be eaten?

I looked at the little boy in front of me and frowned tightly.This is not the new friend I want, he is not as tall as me, and he is not as good-looking as my concubine.At that time, I was sitting in the mourning hall, whispering to the concubine mother who was hiding in the box, but I was interrupted by this annoying ghost. He was really, really unpleasant.

Fortunately, he didn't bother him for long, and the elder brother came out soon and led him to another place.

I continued to whisper to my concubine through the wooden box.

Unknowingly, the concubine mother may have been a little helpless because of my harassment, she stood up and hugged me.

I remembered what that annoying ghost said just now, so I blurted out and asked, "Concubine Mu, what is a... wife? Why should I be someone else's wife?"

I was pestering my concubine, asking her to answer my question, but a crisp voice suddenly came from below, "I'm sorry, auntie."

Out of curiosity, I looked down and saw that she was also a girl about my size. She was very good-looking, much prettier than the boy just now, but her headdress and clothes were simply too weird , probably, this is what the father said, the stranger from a foreign country.

She's so pretty, I have a little bit of it and want to get to know her.

"Lele, why is it taking so long!" A woman's call came from a distance, Xiao Xiaole responded loudly, then picked up the ball on the ground and walked back, but for some reason, after running two steps, she turned back , whispered shyly

"Auntie, your daughter is so pretty, and the artistic photos you took must be beautiful too." Then she ran away shyly.

I watched her run so fast that she disappeared after a while, and I felt an inexplicable sense of loss in my heart.Hey, why did she leave? I haven't had time to ask her name, and I haven't asked her if she can be friends with me.

"Concubine Mu, what is an art photo?" I raised my head halfway and looked at Concubine Mu with wide eyes.But the concubine mother didn't answer my question, but looked at the place where the girl ran away just now, smiling very nicely.

I couldn't help feeling a little jealous, how could the concubine mother smile so nicely at other people's children!The concubine is mine!

"Luoyang, do you really like this girl just now?"

"No way!" I felt a little uncomfortable being exposed by my concubine mother, but immediately admitted it frankly, and there is nothing embarrassing about it.

"..well, a little bit, she's good-looking and polite."

"Then let Luoyang be her wife?"

"What is a wife?" I stubbornly returned to this question.

"Wife is the one who is always by her side, guarding her, loving her, and protecting her."

When the concubine mother said this, I immediately understood. No wonder the little boy just now said that I was her future wife, but how could he protect me with his appearance? Play with me, then I must be bored to death.

I couldn't help but think of the girl that the concubine mother said, if I played with such a good-looking and polite person every day, it must be more interesting.Moreover, such a beautiful girl must be well protected. Thinking of this, I happily agreed, "Okay, then I will be her wife."

This way I can be friends with her and play with her.

But later, when I opened my eyes, I was on my own bed.There were many people around, and everyone looked at me worriedly.I sat up from the bed and carefully identified every face in the crowd.

There is no concubine mother, nor the little girl named Lele.The servants said that I fell asleep on the floor of the mourning hall.Since then, I have never seen my mother and concubine again, and gradually forgot about that little girl.

Later, when I grew up, when I recalled this dream, I realized that I couldn't be her wife.

Then, too many things happened.As I grow up, I understand more and more that this world is not as gorgeous and prosperous as I thought, at least it doesn’t look like it at the moment, and on the contrary, it is full of gray and dark colors everywhere in the corners that people can’t see.The peaceful and prosperous age is no longer a peaceful and prosperous age, but has become a chaotic world full of wars.

My eldest brother was sent to Beijing as a hostage, and I gradually learned to manage government affairs for my father, trying my best to protect the people of Luoyang, so that they can live a more stable life in the troubled times.I began to understand the importance of power.

My temperament is no longer as naive and lively as when I was a child, but is heading in the opposite direction. I know that my father has always guided me to be a qualified politician.

In the entire Su family, only I am the most suitable to be this politician.But in my eyes, Father Wang himself is not a qualified politician.

After some time, the Qi family, whom we have been on good terms with for a long time, sent someone to our door to apologize and dissolved my engagement with Qi Han.

It's really ridiculous. It turns out that friends who have been advancing and retreating together all the time can't escape the bad roots of human nature.Although this matter was undoubtedly worse for the Su family at that time, I couldn't help but feel a little happy in my heart. I finally didn't have to deal with Qi Han, an annoying spirit.

In the year of Jiji, I took over the Xuanjia Camp from my father.Women have never been allowed to be in politics, let alone hold military power. However, my father is different from everyone else. He will not let me learn piano, chess, calligraphy and painting just because I am a woman.

I know that he wants to make me a good person, regardless of gender.

...

I met someone who was different from others.

Her name is Xiao Le. When I first met her, I saw a different desire to live in her eyes. It was a desire to live.

I've always been willing to give people a chance, and I don't want to ruin a life just by opening my mouth lightly.However, it is amazing that this person actually guessed my mind.She knows all the arrangements in my heart.Although there are a little details, but it is also said that it is almost the same.

If such a person was born in the enemy camp, he would be a formidable enemy, and killing intent rose in my heart.

But she said she wanted to rely on me.

As the power holders of an emerging force, we are too short of talents.. It is hard to tell the truth of this statement, but I am still willing to believe her once.If she tries to deceive me, I will send her and her friends to hell.

Because, among the many words in the world, I hate the word deceit the most.

After I brought her back to the barracks, I handed her over to someone else. Later, many things happened, and I gradually forgot about this person.

When we met later, she had already grown up and was a little captain, which also proved that my vision is not bad.

After going to the battlefield, Xiao Le is obviously different. I don't know what she has experienced, or she has accepted the baptism of blood.She seemed to have completely transformed, and her eyes became deeper. Wearing armor, her delicate face was a little more determined.

I'm approaching her deliberately, she's growing too fast, and she's out of my control at all.The best way to get a man to serve you wholeheartedly is to make him admire you.This is also the quickest and easiest way.Beauty tricks are always tried and tested.Facts have also proved that my strategy has indeed taken effect.

I thought that I could make this matter impeccable, and then retreat completely.But then, I can't seem to get out.

I even think it's not bad to stay with her in this trap that I carefully designed.

When I passed out due to excessive blood loss in the mountains, I was not afraid at all.I always feel that God will not just let me die like this, and it is indeed the case.When I opened my eyes again, I saw Xiao Le.

Seeing her nervous and anxious appearance, she must have thought that I was going to die.But how can I die so easily, my ambition has not been realized, and my elder brother's revenge has never been avenged.She was nervous about me, and seemed to look better than usual.

I am a person who is not very good at expressing my feelings, because since my mother and concubine passed away, no one has spoken about my thoughts.

I always feel that no matter how nice the words are, it is better to actually do something.Xiao Le is the first person, other than my family, who I am willing to take the initiative to care about.

I have never been a shy woman, from the day I knew what I wanted, I ordered people to make Qingfeng.

It contains my expectation and love for her. I hope that Qingfeng can protect her well on the battlefield, and also help her overcome obstacles and make great achievements in killing enemies.After all, if it is my husband-in-law, he must at least have the qualifications to stand shoulder to shoulder with me, and she has never let me down.

...

She said she missed me.I was holding a letter paper with only a few numbers, and I didn't know why, but I was inexplicably happy.

The smile on his face couldn't stop.This is the first time in my life that I feel like a normal woman. It turns out that the feeling of missing someone is really bad.

At that time, I was taking care of all the big and small affairs in Luoyang, ranging from trivial matters in the city to big military logistics, all of which needed to be handled by me one by one.I pinpointed the time, calculated the day when she came back from Heyuan, and stayed up all night for three nights without sleep to deal with all the follow-up matters one by one, and then went to the West Route Army under the name of the reward army.

She said she missed me, so I gave her a surprise.Rewarding the army is not the most important thing, rewarding her is.

She said her hometown was thousands of miles away and there was nowhere to go.She has no home.

How could you have no home? When the world is settled, I will ask my father to make you a high official. If you don’t want to deal with the officialdom anymore, then we will be a couple of gods and immortals. I will accompany you all over the world. Heshan is fine.

A place of peace of mind is home.

...

Those ideas were all beautiful, but in the end they all came to naught.

I never thought that one day I would be called emperor.As a woman, ascend to the supreme position admired by thousands of people.And the situation pushed me step by step to the highest place.

What I'm most worried about is whether Xiao Le will stay with me forever without changing his original intention.There are too many men in the world, especially those who think highly of themselves, and they don't want to be overwhelmed by their wives.And her achievements at this moment are enough to disdain most men in the world.

It has been a long-standing conclusion that the husband guides the wife.If all of a sudden, let her take me as the guide, will she be the same as before?I always feel faintly that she hasn't completely given me her sincerity, and there is a deep secret hidden deep in her heart.

I gave her the jade pendant that my concubine mother had left me, and I wanted her concubine's spirit in the sky to help me see it too.

Look, this is the husband-in-law I chose, isn't he a very good, very good person?This must be the most precious gift God has given me.

The concubine mother said that a wife is the one who is always by her side, guarding her, loving her, and protecting her.

Therefore, I don't want her to go to the battlefield at all, and the situation has almost stabilized now.I just want to keep her close by my side, she has done enough for me.I want to accept Wanmin's congratulations with her. I don't want to be a cold person. I want to smile at her. I also want to be like an ordinary wife.

So only when we get married can I have a good enough reason for her not to go to the battlefield again.In this way, no one dares to criticize her anymore. I already have enough ability to protect her.

But she seemed to be reluctant to let me be her wife, which made me question whether I did something wrong.

There are always people in the court trying to trip her up and pull her down from her high position.It's ridiculous that these people have eyes but can't see the situation clearly, and they want to pull my people off the horse.I want to tell them that Xiao Le is not a lone minister, and standing behind her is me, your aloof king.

These people are annoyingly noisy, and they are always thinking about how to hurt her.

So I ruthlessly uprooted this group of people and threw them out of the hall.Sure enough, the roots of the ears are quite clean..

Although this has aroused a lot of dissatisfaction among the nobles of the aristocratic family, it has caused a lot of trouble, and it takes a lot of effort.But if you want to be an emperor, you have to obey your own will occasionally, otherwise, if you can't even protect your own people, then why should I be the emperor?

...

I began to wonder if Ah Le had a hidden disease, and the unspeakable secret she said was infertility?

Thinking of this, I began to feel sorry for her. There are three ways to be unfilial, and the worst is to have no descendants.As an upright person, if she has this hidden disease, she must be very bitter in her heart. If she dare not tell me about it, it is also possible.

I don't know what I can do for her. I asked the imperial physician privately, and the imperial physician said that such a hidden disease needs a precise diagnosis before he can come up with a cure.

I don't have much worry about this, and if the cure doesn't work in the end, I won't leave her because of it, the emperor's heir is dispensable to me.

I think my life is not only for the people of the world, for my subjects, but also for my lover.As long as I can be with her for the rest of my life, no heirs, no heirs, I am not afraid of the verbal criticism of the world.I'd rather be her wife than a mother.

However, things are not as simple as I thought.

I didn't expect that the person I gave my heart to was a woman.When she loosened her hair, I suddenly felt that a place in my heart had quietly collapsed.

However, what hurts me the most is not her identity as a woman, but that I have been living in a woven lie and been deceived for several years.There are many mistakes in the world, but it is the one I hate the most and the one that is the most unforgivable.Shouldn't lovers be honest with each other?

Since I was a child, everyone lied to me that the concubine mother would come back one day.

If I hadn't been pressing you every step of the way, are you going to keep hiding it like this, how long do you want to lie to me, how long do you want to lie to me?If even you are a lie, then there is nothing else in this world that is worthy of my belief.

I have never let go of my guard against anyone, because my father taught me since I was a child that this is the case. Politicians have no trust at all.I thought you would be such an exception, but you proved me wrong with your actions... I think, I probably can't forgive you, even if I think of you, I still can't help throbbing in my heart.

You must be the most helpless person in my life.

Even if you have committed the crime of deceiving the king, I am still reluctant to punish you.

Because before you, I am not a king.

...

I have received the jade pendant you returned to me. Does this mean that you are disheartened?

I'm getting married, and since I can't forgive you, I won't treat other people differently either.

I can't be a true self, so I have to be a qualified emperor.I know that with the edict in front of me, there will be no room for turning back between you and me. I have not left a retreat for myself, nor have I left a retreat for you.I don't know what kind of mood you will feel when you know the news.

...

Where are you, why am I looking, looking, but can't find you.

Where have you been hiding?

Why do they all say you are dead.

Concubine Mu, can you help me bring her back...Luoyang, don't be willful anymore.

The author has something to say: I have been writing and I have not noticed that the previous description of Luoyang's feelings is not very delicate.

Thanks to a reader for pointing it out.

Annoyed at the comments.

His Majesty has done many things

It may be my fault that I didn't pay attention to the primary and secondary when I wrote it!

For chestnut:

The matter of rewarding the army was mentioned in the article before

However, Your Majesty came here from Luoyang because of Ah Le's words, I miss you!

And later, when he became emperor, someone in the court played tricks to pull Xiao Le off his horse.

His Majesty directly sent these people to Dali Temple for investigation! !

The author is about to cry, please stop dissing His Majesty! ! ! !

Temporarily code out a chapter to rectify the name of my majesty.

To be honest, the two protagonists are my own, and I am not happy with either one.

It's only fair to say that we have to abuse each other

don't hurry

I think you guys have fun playing by yourself

My comments are almost ruined by you guys