immortal person

Over the tall arched windows, the moonlight landed on the window sill like a white bird, reflecting the silhouettes of the two on the carpet.Giovanni stood motionless, with fire and light in his dark gray eyes.For a moment Lorenzo thought he was coming towards him, but he didn't.

From a distance of three steps, Giovanni smelled the strong smell of alcohol on Lorenzo's body.

"You've been drinking," he said.

Like an ordinary statement, Lorenzo did not hear the sharpness and anger from his tone.He was not relieved by this, but lowered his head slightly.

"Only then," said he, "will I dare to come to you."

Giovanni looked at him, moved his lips, but said nothing.They looked at each other, and Lorenzo said, "Let's go outside."

The gathered guests made the palace confused, and leaving might be the right choice.They left by the back door, and no one spoke on the way.Florence was quiet in the middle of the night, and there was a light rain at night, forming small puddles one after another in the depressions of the street.A month or two ago, they had occasionally walked through the night like this, and now it was the last time—at least, it was very likely.They all know this.

They went around the alley behind the palace gate and walked to the Thanksgiving Bridge.Florence has a curfew for the month and they haven't encountered any pedestrians.The Arno River flows slowly, with a gurgling sound, and the smoke on the river surface is a quiet blue due to the moonlight.A simple little statue of the Madonna stands alone in a shrine on a street corner, with a thick layer of white wax condensed in front of it.Ye Yu extinguished all the candles dedicated to her, so that's good, the darkness obscured her sight, allowing the two passing sinners to hide.

In the silent night, Giovanni could clearly hear his very steady heartbeat.He should have felt distraught, but what he felt at this moment was a kind of depression-like calm, almost desolate, like burning embers.The moment he first heard the news, he thought he would be angry, but—why should he be angry with Lorenzo?He realized that he couldn't blame him.

An unbreakable silence remained between them.For a long time, neither of them spoke, as if they were afraid that words would disturb the last tenderness.Lorenzo walked slowly, as if there was an invisible weight on his shoulders, but his back was as straight as a duke should be.

"I have something to ask you," said Giovanni at last.

"Ask me everything you want to know."

"everything?"

"As long as you want," Lorenzo promised.

Thus, this long-planned conversation began.

"You had just returned from Rome when I met you in the fields," he said. "Was it then decided?"

——In the carriage, he once asked Lorenzo the purpose of his trip, and Lorenzo changed the subject by saying "preparing to build a school".And what he signed in Rome was not a deed, but a bride.

"Yes."

"The expulsion of Domenico is because he knew the news in advance?"

—That night, at the dinner at the last appearance of the Fool, he mentioned the "future mistress" of the palace.Is that why he disappeared from sight?

"The timing of his mention is too coincidental," said Lorenzo, "forgive my paranoia."

And his conjecture was immediately proved to be correct in the future.The jester who is active at the banquet is a spy from the Pazzi family, who has been lying beside him for several years.Such is the life of those in power.

Giovanni was silent for a while: "People say that Salviati will preside over the wedding."

"Yes."

"Is this a show of affection?"

After a moment of silence, Lorenzo said, "It can be understood in this way."

"You have chosen a man from Orsini..." Giovanni struggled to say those two words, "...Bride, this is a threat, isn't it?"

Lorenzo looked at him silently.He heard Giovanni continue:

"Your advances and threats are aimed at the same person." He used an affirmative sentence, "...the holiest one among living people."

Absolute silence filled the space between them for a moment.Lorenzo stopped moving forward.He stopped on the spot, looked deeply at Giovanni for a long time, and finally nodded slightly.

"You've always gone further than I thought possible," he said.

He was sure that the Medici's secret had not yet reached the point where the world knew it.Giovanni deduced the truth of this exchange of interests from fragmentary news: he became an in-law with Bishop Orsini, the most powerful cardinal, and bet on the future pope to check and balance the power of the Holy See. people.Moreover, the Orsini family has always been proud of its long-standing Roman aristocratic blood. In private, they called Sixtus IV "the fisherman" and never concealed their contempt for him.While causing the Pope to be jealous, Lorenzo chose the cronies of Sixtus IV as his wedding blessing. This was a gesture of goodwill and an olive branch to Rome.

They stood on a fork in the shopping street, and there were no residential houses around, so they didn't have to worry about others listening.Lorenzo asked, "Is that all you want to know?"

of course not.

But Giovanni said no more.He'd been thinking about this all day and night for the past three days, and now that he had the answer, he didn't know whether to be relieved or sad.He realizes that there's really nothing to say between them—it's a funeral farewell, that's all: no arguments, no accusations.They already knew everything that happened to each other.

"Do you love her?"

Just when Lorenzo thought he would remain silent forever, he heard Giovanni ask.

"If you understand love as tenderness, compassion and respect," Lorenzo said, "yes, I will try to love her."

"You know what I mean."

"Unfortunately, I can't," said Lorenzo, "and she didn't come to win my love."

If there is no accident, his marriage will be no different from the marriages of most nobles in this world.He remembered Bishop Orsini's specious joke at dinner-"My sister is best at silence," said the bishop, "even if you keep your mistress in her room, she won't say a word. No words, Your Highness."

But apart from that—

Giovanni looked at him closely: "Why?"

Lorenzo smiled briefly.He said, "Don't you know?"

Caught off guard, he took a step closer to Giovanni.The distance between the two suddenly shortened, Lorenzo looked up at him, his lips could almost brush his ear.

Giovanni heard him whisper sighingly: "—because I'm a pedant."

A cold wind suddenly blew deep in the street, followed by a pinprick of rain, and Giovanni shuddered.Raindrops dripped down Lorenzo's snow-white cheeks, and he seemed to burst into tears in an instant.Nobody ever says that word outright, they always say it in a more euphemistic way.When Lorenzo said it, his tone was very calm, as if he had suppressed himself to the extreme, and suddenly became indifferent and fearless.

"I have committed many injustices, and this is the worst of them all," he said with a pause. "In Venice, I deserved to have my nose cut off; in Florence, I deserved to be hanged."

Giovanni seized him violently by the wrist.Lorenzo reached out his hand to his cheek, but did not touch him: "I am the one who wants to live in the shadows all the time, otherwise I will be cast aside by all people; I am the one who was rejected by St. who shall be put to death by the LORD; for I am a sinner, a villain, a scum, to be burned in the desert of Dante's fire."

"Don't you know?" he repeated, "I warned you. I said to you the other day: I, too, have my own selfish desires. It's not just selfishness. It's the devil's creation, it's cursed, it's unspeakable. Yes, disgusting..."

"Stop it!" Giovanni shouted in a low voice.He slammed Lorenzo's trembling body into his arms: "I beg you..."

In his arms, Lorenzo was silent for a moment.He seemed to want to hug Giovanni's back, but his hands were slowly falling down on the way.The raindrops fell heavily and dullly on them, and Giovanni hugged him tightly, and suddenly realized that under the wet coat, Lorenzo had become alarmingly thin.Between them, the punishment born of love was so just and disinterested that what had befallen him was also on Lorenzo.

"You delayed your return until today," whispered Giovanni, "to avoid me?"

He saw the bitter smile on Lorenzo's lips, which explained everything.

"I have decided that when I come back, I will confess everything to you—I was born with this sin, and I knew it," Lorenzo said softly. "Of course I would like to escape this scene."

"If it were possible," he murmured, "I have thought of imprisoning sin in me and being celibate for life, like the people in the convent. But I know very well that this is only an illusion. I hope God has mercy on this." Me. Even so, I decided long ago not to be emotionally involved with anyone, and I've been doing that for the past 20 years. Until you... I led you astray."

"I swear to the Lord, I had no evil thoughts about you at first, maybe I shouldn't have led you to Plato, 'the unspeakable sin of the Greeks', so the priests say, did they mislead you? Here After that, I shouldn't have approached you again; that night, I shouldn't have opened your door... I'm sorry, very, very sorry..."

"You always think too well of me, Jo. But there are many things I don't do."

"From then on," Lorenzo looked into his eyes, "you became the subject of my confession."

For a while, they stopped talking.The surrounding area was extremely quiet, only the muffled sound of raindrops hitting the stone slabs could be heard.As if being strangled, Giovanni opened his mouth without uttering a single syllable.He gripped Lorenzo's wrist hard enough to leave bruises.Lorenzo did not look at him.

It was raining, he said, as if he had just realized the rain.

Well, now there are no more secrets between them.

Giovanni let go of Lorenzo.As if nothing had happened, the two walked back along the way they came from, no longer talking, and no longer touching eyes.As he approached the Medici Palace, Giovanni stopped and said, "I will not attend your wedding."

"But I bless you," he said hoarsely, "with all my heart."

Lorenzo said nothing.His back paused, and then he continued to walk forward.In the depths of Giovanni's heart, he had foreseen this result: the Duke would not keep him.

Giovanni returned to the palace through the back door.He went to Bertholdo's room next door. The door was unlocked. Giovanni entered without a sound and knelt on one knee beside Bertoldo's bed.The old man was very vigilant, he had already opened his eyes when he came, and he didn't say a word after recognizing the person coming.Giovanni took his hand, and solemnly pressed his lips to the back of his hand.The two looked at each other silently for a while, and suddenly, Giovanni saw two lines of wet marks appearing on Bertoldo's ravenous face.

"I guess," Bertholdo said, "this is your goodbye."

Giovanni nodded.He didn't explain, he guessed his teacher already knew everything.Bertholdo did not stop him, but he groped for Giovanni and kissed him on the top of his hair.

Before the moon set, Giovanni packed his bags.The only person who noticed his departure was the sleepy porter at the door, but he only glanced at Giovanni and fell back into a deep sleep.The curfew has not yet passed, there are few pedestrians on the streets of Florence, and the rain has stopped.Before reaching the first city wall, a sound of horseshoes came from behind him.A strange young man got off his horse and handed him a badge engraved with the Medici coat of arms.

"It can be used to withdraw money from any Medici bank," said the young man. "It is said that any amount is acceptable."

He didn't explain more.After he left, Giovanni came to the banks of the Arno.The river water in the middle of the night was as solemn as still, he let go of his hand, and the badge sank into the river silently without causing any splash.

Then he took off the Medici crest on his chest, which had been worn in front of his heart for more than a year; a year ago, Bertoldo handed it to him, symbolizing that he became a part of the family... ...that seems like a long time ago.

He remembered the account of Herodotus.Thousands of years ago, the Greek heroes of the expedition left their young sons and lovers, sank a large amount of iron in the port, and vowed that they would never return to their hometown unless the iron block floated.

The night wind lifted his cloak and hair, Giovanni thought, and me?

His heart told him that he would never do it.

On the third floor of the Medici Palace, a figure stood in front of the arched window, watching the backs of people in the distance gradually being swallowed up by the night.He stood there until dawn.

The author has something to say:

"The chicken/traitor was burned in the desert of fire and rain" from Dante's "Divine Comedy".

The first volume is over.The title of this volume "LETEMPSREVIENT" is a slogan used by Lorenzo in history, which can be translated as "starting from the beginning" or "back in time".