To my dear Mr. Meng

The winter vacation was less than half a month away, and Guan Ting also came back.There is still a while before the Spring Festival, and the company should be busy right now. I was a little puzzled, but she just fooled and said, "I have something to do when I come back."One night she passed by my house and took the initiative to ask me to go out for a meal. After the meal, she left in a hurry and left the small bag containing the change.

The next day, Mr. Meng and I came out of the provincial museum in the city center after seeing the Dunhuang frescoes exhibition. On the way to the shopping mall for dinner, we happened to see the opening of Starbucks, and there was a long, twisted queue in front of the door.At that time, Starbucks was still a rarity, and only opened new stores in a few municipalities and provincial capitals, and they were the only ones in each city, and they were extremely expensive.

I said I was going to treat guests when I was passing by, but Guan Ting called just after I finished my meal, before I even lifted my butt from the chair.

Mr. Meng accompanied me home and took a taxi to the municipal hospital.I felt chest tightness when I pushed the car door, and the blinking blue lights of the ambulance made normal people dizzy.Guan Ting squatted outside the emergency room in a daze, and immediately jumped up when he saw me, wiping his face on the left and right with both hands.I had no choice but to pretend not to see the two tear-soaked red marks on her face, and handed her the small change purse.She took out her ID card and bank card from it and put them in her purse.

"Guan Ting! The money is all over, is your dad coming out yet?"

The sound of high-heeled shoes clattering from far to near, a tall and slightly fat middle-aged woman passed by us holding a handful of colorful bills, her fine hair was permed into dense curls and piled up on her white and flat face. All around, the ends are all dyed burnt yellow, and the two high-hanging black and thin eyebrows on the face reflect the wild colors of the early autumn field.She spread the hand with the list in front of Guan Ting, and a buttery flat gold bracelet shone resoundingly under the fluorescent lamp.

She seemed to have just noticed that Mr. Meng and I had a few puzzled furrows plowed between our brows: "They are—"

"My friend. Send me the bank card." Guan Ting took the form, "Thank you, aunt, I'll give you the money later."

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Her aunt stretched her neck up like a duck drinking water, and dragged him to the other side of the corridor, as if she felt that she lowered her voice, "Your boyfriend? Do you know what your father's suicide looks like? Isn't it honorable? Family ugliness should not be publicized. Do you still need me to tell you these words..."

Mr. Meng gently pulled me, and I walked a few steps away, and couldn't help but ask, "Did you hear what she said?"

He nodded and said, "We'll talk about it when we go back. Go tell Guan Ting that we'll go first."

I walked back and told Guan Ting to go first.She hastily thanked her and did not keep us.Her aunt seemed to be very wary of me, and kept staring at me as I walked down the stairs, her eyes were like the back of a toad, which made people feel uncomfortable.

It was a week after Mr. Meng called Guan Ting.

Because her immediate boss is Mr. Meng's senior sister, when the two called, the senior sister chatted and asked a few words: "Guan Ting asked me for half a month's personal leave, did something happen at home?"

For the first time, Guan Ting hesitated and spoke on the phone for nearly half an hour.

Her father committed suicide at home last week.

He took sleeping pills. On the day we went to the hospital to deliver the card, the doctor was washing his stomach.There was nothing wrong with the person, and after lying in the ward for two days, he came out with all internal organs intact.

Guan Ting said that Uncle Guan often didn't answer her calls at first, so she asked her aunt to visit her when she had time. The aunt said that she had seen her father once, and she was so thin that she lost shape.Guan Ting was taken aback. Her father had been working hard to reorganize the business in the past six months. She was worried that something was wrong with his health, so she asked for leave and went back home.When she opened the door, she was almost scared to death: the house was a mess like a garbage collection station, and her father was lying on the bed stretched out, his clothes still on.

At home for a few days, Guan Ting found that her father was always silent, neither eating nor drinking, as long as she didn't call him, he would act as if there was no one at home, lying on the bed all day long.When he had something to discuss, he went out with a sallow face in a trance, making Guan Ting restless, always afraid that he would be hit by a car.

After a few days like this, one day he asked her why she was sitting at home every day when she was on vacation, let her go out to play with friends, and gave her 500 yuan like when she was a child.Seeing him smiling, Guan Ting felt relieved to go out and buy something. He happened to pass by my house, so he asked me to come out for dinner.

The next day her father did the same thing again, Guan Ting was not suspicious at all, he happened to have an appointment with a friend, and said that he would go home after dinner.Her father sent her downstairs specially, and swallowed half a bottle of sleeping pills before turning her head.

The doctor at the city hospital said that her father's physical indicators were not normal. After hearing from Guan Ting that he had been lying at home for a whole day, he euphemistically suggested that he go to the psychiatric department to register for an examination.When her father heard this, he covered his face and burst into tears on the spot. Guan Ting was so frightened that he half died, and immediately went to the Fifth Psychiatric Hospital to register and accompany him.

After seeing two or three doctors in the third hospital, they all diagnosed her father with moderate depression.

Uncle Guan said it was impossible. He was just under too much pressure and couldn't think about it for a while after drinking too much wine.Guan Ting was so angry that he jumped up and said that you fart, you lie at home for a whole day, you don't even eat food, do you want to kick your legs and get rid of me as soon as possible.Uncle Guan said that you are the only one who farts, how can a daughter curse her father for being a fool, and also said that I have a mental illness, and I have been raising it for so many years.

The doctor was caught in the middle, persuading one and the other: Hey, don’t be noisy, don’t be noisy, don’t say things that are easy to irritate the patient... You can’t say that, depression is not a serious mental illness, cooperate with treatment, take medicine on time, The chances of a cure are great...

Guan Ting asked her father to rest at home and take medicine, but Uncle Guan refused. He got up at [-] o'clock the next day and secretly took his bag to go to work. However, Guan Ting blocked him in the toilet. The uncle threw the medicine down the stairs, and it happened to hit the feet of the neighborhood committee aunt who came back from buying vegetables.

After a while, the aunt knocked on the door: Comrade, do you know what five stresses and four beauties are?Throwing things from upstairs is so dangerous, it almost fell on my head, what should I do if I hurt someone?A person must have a sense of public morality, why not throw it in the trash can?What kind of... medicine did you throw?How can you not take medicine when you are sick?You see, my wife got that last year...

Uncle Guan was tossed by Guan Ting into the fifth hospital.

It is said that he went in crying, saying that he would not enter the madhouse while crying.Guan Ting said softly while wiping his tears, this is not a lunatic asylum, you recuperate well, and I will bring you delicious food.

Uncle Guan grabbed her and didn't let go, saying that those medicines didn't help her brain, and I only lived here because of you.

Guan Ting said yes, yes, who else can you love if you don't love me.

The new intern nurse came in with the head nurse and said, "You and your boyfriend are so nice."

Guan Ting said coldly, this is my dad.do i look that old

In the evening, I called Mr. Meng outside the community, and after a while I saw him walking out with his hands in his pockets.

"How did you come?"

"I walked by."

He grinned and showed his white teeth: "A five-kilometer walk?"

I typed a haha: "I miss you."

"The mouth is so sweet, steal honey and eat it?"

"you guess."

Walking under the dark shade of the tree, Mr. Meng leaned in and kissed him, and said, "It's chewing gum again. Didn't I tell you last time that chewing too much gum will make your jaw square?"

"Why are you still superstitious about folk science? Besides, isn't a square chin a face with Chinese characters? Old handsome guys don't want faces with Chinese characters."

We chatted all the way, and he didn't ask where he was going, just wandering aimlessly in the street.It was January, the coldest time, and the wind was so strong that we couldn’t hear the words clearly. No one wanted to come out to suffer. There were few stalls on the street. Occasionally, I found two of them, all wrapped tightly in military coats that reached to the calves. , the Lei Feng hat on his head was buckled to the brim of his eyebrows, as if he had eaten half of his head, and he hid trivially in the leeward place, looking at the night with dim eyes. Trembling dizzy.

We walked along a windy and narrow street, and Mr. Meng suddenly said, "Guan Ting has returned to the company today."

"She went back?" I didn't know at all, "Is her father out of the hospital?"

"Not yet. Guan Ting said that she would pick it up after the Spring Festival holiday, or leave her father at home alone, worrying about accidents."

"Right."

Mr. Meng turned to look at me: "Why are you sighing?"

"I was thinking about Guan Ting's father. It's so easy to reach middle age, and I haven't had time to enjoy the blessings. I worry about the business for so many years. I have to pay back the money and start from scratch. I still remember when I was in high school. , Guan Ting said that her parents often quarrel over business matters, but the relationship is very good, and they will definitely not divorce."

"You think it's Guan Ting's mother's problem?"

"I don't know. Maybe everyone has their own reasons, but after all I don't understand, so of course I don't have the right to speak." I put my hand in his pocket, "Do you think the same adversity can't be the same as the wealth or the same wealth can't be the same adversity, which one is worse? Son?"

"It's not very good." He held mine with his gloved hand, and the touch between the two layers of gloves was half-true and half-fake, "but it's all human. Feelings are like money. Every day, little by little Spend it, and you will go bankrupt when you can't make ends meet, and the relationship will of course come to an end."

"Are you going to tell me about financial leverage?"

"Are you willing to listen to me?" He smiled. "The tuition for my lectures is very expensive."

"My tuition fee is also charged?" I walked around behind him, putting both hands in my pockets, so that I could hug him from behind by the way, "Are you really engaged in primitive accumulation of capital? You squeezed out a drop of oil."

"The exploitation of surplus value is the accumulation of capital, and plundering by force is the primitive accumulation of capital. And I am opposed to extracting badger seed oil, and people who love badgers strongly condemn it."

"Get out. The more you talk, the more energetic you will be."

"Zhang Hong said that there is a tour group going to Japan next week, do you want to go?"

I lay on his back because he was a little bit taller than me, and my neck slumped so that it rested on his shoulders.I was stunned: "Zhang Hong? Who is it?" Just after asking, I remembered, "That Zhang Hong in high school?"

"Well. She's at a travel agency now. She'll leave on Wednesday and come back next Wednesday. Want to go?"

"No, I have to go to the wedding on Friday."

"Who's getting married?" Mr. Meng turned his head slightly, and the woolen scarf touched my face, which was soft and crispy, like some kind of snack that would flake off when bitten.

"My cousin. Uncle's son."

Mr. Meng said "Oh" and said, "Forget it, let's talk about it next time."

The streetlight was too far away, so I couldn't see his expression clearly, so I could only get closer and try to identify: "Are you upset?"

"No." Seeing that I was silent, he laughed, "What are you thinking?"

The laughter made me so preoccupied.I knew that I was thinking too much, so I teased him and said: "I can't walk anymore, you can carry me on your back."

He took his hands out of his pockets, wrapped them around my back, and weighed them pretendingly: "You are as tall as me, how can you carry me on your back?"

"No taxi passed by for so long, how can I go back for a few kilometers?" I bit the tip of his ear, "Why don't you take me to your house to sleep for one night."

He was silent for a while.

It was only a few seconds, I'm sure, because during the silence, a gust of wind blew up behind me, and before I could withdraw my hand to cover the scarf with a gap in the back of my neck, Mr. Meng spoke.

"Then go."

The chill is like ants crawling up the spine, the street lights are getting closer and closer, and occasionally a car passes by, I let him go."Is it cold?" he asked.

I said, "I'll call a taxi home, or my mother will turn her face again."

"Didn't you say go to my house?"

"You really believe it?" I couldn't help laughing, "I knocked on your door and said to your father: 'Uncle Meng, I'm here to play with Meng Qiansheng, sleep with him tonight?'"

He also couldn't help laughing.

While talking, I walked to the intersection, the car lights were bright, and an empty taxi was about to turn around. I hurried forward a few steps and waved to stop it.Mr. Meng followed from behind: "Go back?"

I held the back seat door and nodded to him: "I'll go first."

"Okay." He held the door and let me get in the car, "Be careful on the road, and call me if you need anything."

"Understood, be careful on the road."

He closed the car door for me, I reported the address, the master stepped on the gas pedal with pride, and the car sped away.I looked back, and the figure of Mr. Meng standing there shrank into a ball almost instantly, as if it was a thick piece of night that couldn't be folded any more.

"Young man, is that your friend?" The master glanced at me from the rearview mirror, and spoke in a drawl, out of focus.

"Ah."

"Nowadays, the boys look quite upright, not bad. A lot of girls are chasing after them, right?"

"Still in school, still early."

"What's the matter, graduate from university at 22, work, talk for another two or three years, shouldn't you get married at 25!"

Seeing that I didn't answer for a long time, the master put an end to himself and said, "But the young people nowadays think differently", and then he stopped talking.

That was the first time I thought about the future.

The future me, the future Mr. Meng, the future me and Mr. Meng.

"Future" is a word like an abyss.It swallows all the surging blood, is smug, and returns people with fear, loneliness, and a tiny ray of light.

The author says:

Badger skin can be used as fur, meat can be eaten, and fat can be used to make badger seed oil.Badger lovers express strong condemnation, um.