like the abyss

Lu Yuan was awakened by the sunlight outside the window.He buried himself in the pillow, reached out and fumbled for the curtain remote control.

Qin Suzheng leaned on the bedroom doorframe to watch him.The sleeves of the pajamas were turned up, and the exposed half of the arm was white and transparent.The fingers are long and slender, blue blood vessels can be seen faintly on the back of the hand, and there are marks from his own bite on the joints, wrapped tightly like silkworm chrysalis, rubbing on the bed over and over.

Qin Suzheng stepped forward and lifted his quilt, saw him curled up like a shelled mollusc, and asked him, "Have a headache?"

Lu Yuan narrowed his eyes, glanced at him, and sat up: "No."

Qin Suzheng didn't ask any further questions, and bent down to arrange his slippers: "Then get up and eat."

Lu Yuan watched him go out, and the memories of last night flooded back, his face flushed instantly.He still remembered how he held on to his hand last night, and the sound of Qin Suzheng panting next to his ear, and the hot palm covering his mouth.

He covered his face and went to the bathroom to wash up.

After packing up and going to the restaurant, Qin Suzheng has already prepared breakfast.The porridge is very glutinous, and the eggs are fried just right.The messy books thrown in the living room were neatly piled up on the coffee table.Lu Yuan didn't speak, wondering what kind of snail girl this is.

Qin Suzheng didn't know what he was thinking about, seeing that he didn't move his chopsticks, he thought it was not to his liking, and asked him, "Don't you like this?"

Lu Yuan didn't answer, and drank the porridge.

After breakfast, Qin Suzheng changed his shoes, took off his coat from the hanger, put it on, and picked up the mobile phone placed in the entrance.Lu Yuan followed him to see him off, Qin Suzheng turned around and asked him, "Your phone number?"

Lu Yuan took the phone, keyed in the number, and returned it to him.

Qin Suzheng made a call, heard the ringing in the bedroom, hung up in satisfaction, put away the phone, and opened the door: "The pot has been washed, just put the bowl in the dishwasher. It's cold outside, don't come out."

Lu Yuan gave an "um" and stood at the door to watch him get on the elevator before closing the door.

Just as the door closed, the phone rang again in the bedroom.Lu Yuan took out his cell phone, it was Xiao Zhoujing's call.He turned it on and put it on the table, and put the dishes in the dishwasher on the cabinet.

There was obvious excitement in Xiao Zhoujing's voice: "Yuan'er, how do you feel?"

Lu Yuan wondered why you, a straight man, are so gossip, and replied coldly: "I said it feels good, you want to try it with him?"

Xiao Zhoujing couldn't do it: "That can't be done, I have to try it with you first."

Lu Yuan smiled slightly, but his voice could not be heard at all: "Okay, next time I will let you call Dad in bed."

Just as he was talking, Zuo Li's phone call came in, Lu Yuan hung up Xiao Zhoujing's line, and connected Zuo Li's phone.

"Xiao Lu," Zuo Li sounded like he hadn't slept all night, "I sent you Emily's address at two o'clock in the afternoon, don't forget."

Lu Yuan turned off the external speaker and picked up the phone: "Okay, Brother Li, I understand."

Emily is Lou Feng contacted by Zuo Li.Lu Yuan works as an investigative reporter for a magazine that is on the verge of cessation of publication, and Zuo Li is his partner who is both a teacher and a friend.

After hanging up the phone, Lu Yuan flipped through the call log and saved Qin Suzheng's number as a note.

Lu Yuan remembered that it was not the first time he had seen Qin Suzheng.

Lu Yuan's mother went crazy early and died early.When Lu Yuan was 12 years old, before his mother's funeral was over, Lu Jiming took Bai Fangping and Bai Ru'an, who was one year younger than him, back to the Lu family.Lu Yuan's mother eloped to City C with Lu Jiming, and her mother's family has long since ceased contact.Lu Jiming simply turned the memorial service into a social gathering, and the atmosphere was just right. Little Lu Yuan almost suspected that Lu Jiming would sing with drums.

Lu Yuan had met Qin Suzheng before, at this nondescript memorial service.He watched Lu Jiming introduce Bai Ruan and Bai Fangping to the visitors, and felt that the scene in front of him was like a funny show.There are three great happy events in life, being promoted and getting rich and dying of his wife, Lu Jiming is lucky to have the second, and his happy facial features will be distorted.

Little Lu Yuan didn't love his mother too much.His own mother has been crazy for a long time, since the year Bai Ruan was born.She had eyes only for her mad, desperate love.She tried to use Lu Yuan to keep Lu Jiming.When little Lu Yuan was three years old, she put him on the balcony with the window open for a whole night in the cold, with a persistent high fever.But even so, Lu Jiming did not go home.From then on, she hated the "useless" little Lu Yuan, pinching, beating and scolding her at every turn.On the night before his death, as if suddenly repenting, he clutched little Lu Yuan's wrist with his skinny hands, crying to ask him to forgive her.

Little Lu Yuan was annoyed by this noisy scene, and hid in the bedroom, refusing to go out.After Bai Ru'an moved in, Bai Fangping moved his belongings out of Xiangyang's room. Under the window of the new bedroom is the back garden.He touched two cigarettes from the tobacco and wine stand, and stood by the window with an ashtray.The smoke wasn't very choking, but Xiao Lu Yuan, who was smoking for the first time, still coughed up tears.

Lu Yuan was the Qin Suzheng seen through the diffused smoke and the moisture in his eyes.

Qin Suzheng was leading Bai Ruan to talk under his window.

Bai Ru'an is one year younger than him, and his development is still late. When he first came to Lu's house, he would reach the height of Lu Yuan's earlobe.Lu Jiming's character is poor, he only has a handsome face, Lu Yuan and Bai Ru'an are not exactly like him.But Bai Ru'an was not wild like Lu Yuan. Bai Fangping and Lu Jiming loved him, raised him delicately, looked healthy and lively, his cheeks were pink and white, Lu Yuan wanted to bite him the first time he saw him.

Lu Yuan was different, he was sick from childhood to adulthood, white is white, but there is always a layer of blue.He was treated like that since he was a child, and everyone seemed to be on guard.He is also used to putting on airs, Xiao Zhoujing and he played together since childhood, and he didn't know that his mother was this kind of person.

Lu Yuan took another puff of cigarette by the window, didn't swallow it down, held it in his mouth, and then exhaled slowly.A thin wisp of smoke drifted upwards, caressing his slender eyelashes.

He saw Qin Suzheng rubbing Bai Ruan's hair, Bai Ruan looked very happy, and threw himself into his arms and hugged his waist.

Qin Suzheng didn't break free, and walked into the hall with half hugging and half hugging Bai Ruan.

Lu Yuan just woke up and put the cigarette butt in the ashtray.

The night after the memorial service ended, Lu Yuan had a weird dream. In the dream, her mother's distorted face kept flashing, asking him "Did you forgive me?" His father was holding a blood-stained ax Looking for him everywhere, shouting "Tell you, Auntie Bai and brother, do you hear?" He had nowhere to hide, and ran forward along a dark corridor with a bright light at the end of the corridor.

In the light, I saw Qin Suzheng touching Bai Ruan's head in the afternoon.

Lu Yuan woke up from his dream.

It is true that Bai Fangping and Lu Jiming treated Lu Yuan badly, but they did not abuse him like his own mother.They just treat him as a transparent person.The aunt at home didn't know about the master's private affairs, but she could see that he was not favored, so she gradually became perfunctory to him.But Bai Ru'an is good, and I don't know how such a pair of parents can give birth to such a soft and kind child.He acted like a baby and asked his parents to quit the aunt who bullied Lu Yuan, sneaked into Lu Yuan's room to take care of him when Lu Yuan was sick, shared with Lu Yuan the happy things he encountered at school, and introduced Lu Yuan to his friends.When Lu Yuan moved out from home after the college entrance examination, and moved into the house left to him by his mother before her death, Bai Ruan was afraid that he would not be able to take care of herself by herself, so she insisted on moving here with him.

In Lu Yuan's opinion, Bai Ru'an is the best kind of person in the world.They live a happy life, so they have compassion for the unfortunate. This compassion makes him always positive and optimistic, as if the world is always sunny, making people believe that misfortune is only temporary.They always have the unconscious ability to make people around them feel no evil towards them, and just want to protect their honesty and innocence.

Being a reporter is a blunder.When Lu Yuan moved out of the Lu family, he just wanted to stay away from Lu Jiming, and if he stayed away, he would never have the chance to date. He hid the name of a financial management professional newspaper and picked up a new biography.When I was an intern in my junior year, I joined the magazine that Zuo Li contributed to, and followed Zuo Li for three years in politics and economics.

But he is different from Zuo Li.Zuo Li is extremely idealistic, full of sense of justice, and always aboveboard.Lu Yuan has been working for three years, and all he sees are dark and hypocritical things, and sometimes he even thinks that a good life is unreasonable.