male god effect

13.

This is a bright and spacious room, the walls are painted white, and the floor is covered with gray-blue wool carpets.The sunlight reflects the light spots through the clean glass, while the green ivy grows quietly around the iron fence of the window,

Ji Mi sank into the soft sofa chair in the center of the carpet, showing a rare relaxed state.

Sitting across from him was a beautiful woman with blond hair, holding a pen between her right fingers holding the black tea, and a thick medical record was spread out on the small table in front of her.

"It's been nearly nine months since we last spoke, Ji," she said. "I didn't think I'd see you again until next year."

Ji Mi lowered her head with a rare expression on her face.

"Although healing metamorphosis is a long process, you also have to have confidence in yourself. You did well before, didn't you, Ji? Then, I really want to know, what disrupted your rhythm? You I'm in a very bad mood right now."

"...MissArk," Ji Mi thought about his words, and unconsciously fell into a certain unstable anxiety, "Recently,...some things happened."

The blond woman named Ark made a listening statement.

"At an inopportune occasion...meet someone. That was...the time when my masochism kicked in, and I've been trying to stop thinking about those things for almost nine months since then, but...it fell short."

Ji Mi smiled wryly and shook her head.

"I was... masturbating in the toilet, and it felt so good to let myself go after a long time of repressing, so carried away... that I got knocked out. And then... um... something terribly wrong happened ,you understand……"

"Are you feeling bad?"

"No, it doesn't."

Ji Mi continued to shake her head, her eyes were a little dreamy.

"Better than any of my fantasies."

"'Lustfulboy'" Miss Ark said the word with a smile, then changed the subject a moment later, "So is that how you evaluate yourself afterward? You feel like - 'Degrading'? The reason for your anxiety is shame, yes A critique of the true self?"

"..." Ji Mi was silent for a while, and continued to smile bitterly, "On the one hand, it is true, but..."

"Because of the boy you had sex with?" Ark cut to the point.

"..."

This time the silence was longer.

"Yes."

Ji Mi did not deny it in the end.

Miss Ark wrote down the text in the medical record.

"What do you think of him?"

"He..." Ji Mi seemed to be looking for a precise word, "very dangerous"

"Is it because his appearance makes you feel oppressed?"

"No, he's very thin, very thin." Ji Mi outlined the boy's appearance, "It's about this tall...the shoulders are so narrow, and he's so weak that he can be subdued with less than one hand."

"Oh?" Miss Ark was slightly surprised, then smiled, "I always thought you would appreciate the taller and more masculine type."

"Of course, in a way he's also very, very... majestic."

Ji Mi explained with a little embarrassment, her earlobe couldn't help turning red.

"That's not the point...the point is."

Ji Mi took a deep breath, recalling Chai Jiu's appearance.

"The danger I'm talking about refers to...his state is like a person walking a tightrope in the night sky. The wind blows him around, and the steel wire is also very thin, as if it will break at any time. "

Surrounded by cliffs, and the bottom of his feet is an abyss, the young man is walking forward in the dark and lightless world, facing the end of being smashed to pieces at any time.

Ji Mi thought of the ballpoint pen print that ran through the artery on the boy's wrist, and the silver wallpaper knife.

"And I'm standing on the edge of that cliff."

He sighed and couldn't go on.

"You wanted to save him," Miss Ark said softly.

Ji Mi shrugged, neither affirming nor denying.

"If you think so, it means that our treatment has returned to the original point, Ji." Miss Ark also sighed, "The root of all your pain lies here. You desire to save everyone around you, but the fact That's impossible, not even God can do it."

Miss Ark's eyes were tender and sad.

"You are not a saint, Ji, don't add extra responsibilities to yourself."

14.

Chai Jiu had already discarded the memories of when she was four or five years old.

At that time, although his family was not considered wealthy, it could still be considered well-to-do. Besides food and clothing, he could afford a lot of toys.

He and his sister are three years apart, but their birthdays are coincidentally on the same day.He received a remote control car as a gift, and his sister received a doll.Dad wasn't drunk yet, and Mom wasn't paralyzed in bed.He holds a car in one hand and a small pistol/gun in the other. The pockets of his jeans are filled with all kinds of candies and chocolates. All children from kindergarten to elementary school are willing to play with him.

His whole family has creamy white skin, and he inherited his mother's oval face, phoenix eyes and pouty lips. This boy with red lips and white teeth is often mistaken for a little girl.He bounces around and only knows to play every day. He has nothing on his mind except playing football and pranks. His homework is full of ghost marks, and his bookcase is full of report cards with horrible red zeros. He is a mess in his studies and mischievous Trick or treat is a good hand.

But who would have the heart to criticize him?He is so cute that people can't help but forgive him time and time again.

If my father's factory hadn't closed down, everything would have continued like this.

Chai Jiu deeply understood the meaning behind the word 'bankruptcy' when she was seven years old - it meant that they never had a spacious and comfortable house to live in, and no nice clothes and shoes to wear; their younger sister couldn't go to school when they reached the age, and their father was depressed ever since Depressed, and my mother has to go out to work.

How do people grow up overnight?Maybe everyone has a different experience.

And Chai Jiu...is seeing the mother who used to be the most face-saving and the most beautiful, wearing a fat and worn-out employee uniform, using a thick rope to coil up her once-manicured hair, squatting in the toilet of the building and brushing it again and again The cracked floor tiles were also reprimanded by the supervisor when the toilet was not clean enough.

Fashionable beauties in high heels walk past their mother arm in arm, like through a puff of pathetic air.

click-

The crisp sound of high heels touching the ground came to an abrupt end.

A passing young woman looked contemptuously at the cleaner on the ground, sneered and spat beside her.

And my mother... the most self-respecting and strongest mother, just... bent her back and lowered her head, silently wiping the phlegm on the ground with a rag.

The boy hid on the other side of the wall holding his schoolbag, and silent tears formed a long stream on his cheeks.

When the fire fell that day, the boy in the fire wailed in pity and despair.

——I don't want to die!anyone there?help me!Anyone can!I... don't want to die like this!

Chai Jiu held the schoolbag in her arms, trembling and sobbing with her thin body.

——If I can get out alive, I must... definitely, study hard, and never let my mother...kneel on the ground to earn money again!

15.

Director Li is a female teacher in her 40s. She has nearly 20 years of qualifications in this school. Apart from doubling the prescription of her thick glasses on the bridge of her nose, it seems that her teaching career has not changed. How much has changed.I don't know if it's due to the health care products in the gift box that looks like a hill in the office, but even the crowtails at the corners of her eyes and the nasolabial folds on her cheeks seem a little lighter than others.

She usually speaks in a soft voice, and she is even more patient with Ji Milinna, who is a class A student. The label of kindness and kindness made her sit in the chair that many people miss now, and she sits very securely.

"Student Chai Jiu."

In invisible places, the elders who took off their masks also have an aggressive side.

"Don't you have anything to say about your recent absence from school?"

"..."

"You said that you were absent from class because your classmates bombarded you out of the classroom. To be honest, I don't believe this reason. As far as I know. Before you came to our school, the atmosphere in our school has always been positive, at least in our school. The grade under my jurisdiction has never had this kind of unhealthy tendencies, and the students are also very united and friendly. So, student Chai Jiu, can you please find the problem from yourself? Take a hundred steps back, even if there is a slight problem "Friction" exists, so you haven't thought about reviewing what you did wrong first?"

Director Li helped the pair of thick eyes and looked at Chai Jiu, as if he was holding a magnifying glass to look at the rusty boy in front of him.

"As the saying goes, 'one slap can't make a sound', I believe that the students will not rub against you for no reason, there must be a crux of it... As far as I know, you have repeatedly in the past" Harassing a female student in class A. Student Chai Jiu, I think using the word 'harassment' here is already giving you face, do you want to give up if you force me to say even worse things?"

Director Li took a sip of tea.

"It's still like what I said before, 'Before you came to our school. The atmosphere of our school has always been positive'. At least, there will be no male students hiding in the locker room to peep girls changing clothes, Do you think so? Classmate Chai Jiu, I have to say that your grades are indeed good, but I think you have serious moral problems, and you can even say that you have bad conduct!"

Director Li's voice became cold, and the teacup in his hand slammed on the desk with a bang.It was as if the judge made a final decision in court, convicting a young man of the final crime.

"As an educator, I really can't imagine how much harm a student with bad conduct but excellent grades like you will bring to the country after entering society? It's simply a moth of society! I think that a poor family like you You are a garbage that lacks education, so don’t come here to waste educational resources. Look at your appearance, do you think you are worthy of such a sacred campus? Studying? What a big joke!”

Chai Jiu stood there quietly, sitting and listening, but her unremarkable expression was broken by a sentence in the next second.

"If I remember correctly, your father is still in prison, isn't he?" Director Li sneered contemptuously from his nose, "What good things can an arsonist give birth to? He was a hooligan at a young age, uneducated, and worthless! Sooner or later, like your father, he is a scum that endangers society!"

This thin young man seemed to have been swept away by a strong wind, trembling and unable to stand upright as if he was about to fall down.He didn't move at all, but there was an imperceptible sadness on that half of his intact face.The December wind was very cold, and the boy just stood silently waiting for the end of the long trial.

"Thank you teacher for teaching."

He spoke softly with a trembling voice, and bowed politely with his feet together.

"goodbye teacher."

The spine of this developing young man is very straight, like a bamboo that is so thin that it is always tall and straight.