Barely audible [Ternura]

I lay in Mr. Li's arms and watched TV. Mr. Li was in charge of feeding me potato chips, and I was in charge of opening my mouth.He never eats these snacks, and in his opinion, these are "things that children like."

The news was broadcasting on TV, two accidents that killed many people.I changed the channel melancholy and asked him: "People are alive, but they will die someday."

Mr. Li said, "Yes."

I echoed with a sigh.

Mr. Li stretched out his finger that was stained with potato chip powder to my left side. I sucked it in my mouth and licked off the taste.

He stirred my mouth with his fingers, forcing my tongue to have no place to rest.

He said, "Honey, things don't last forever, so I believe in carpe diem."

Carpe Diem.

He nibbled on my neck to leave his mark, which was his habit.I held him and asked him to kiss me.

Actually I don't like kissing, kissing is too aggressive, and so is sex.But that’s what intimacy is all about, plundering from the other person, taking my place in his domain.

Use brutality to prove that you are loved.

Mr. Li held my waist, pressed me, and asked me if I loved him.

I refuse to say.

He was angry and I felt it.

It was so painful that I burst into tears, and bit him on the shoulder.

I am in pain, and I want him to suffer with me too.

Mr. Li likes to torment me when he is angry, probably because I cry endlessly, and he is not willing to part with it this time.Mr. Li hugged me, touched my head with his hands, and coaxed me: "Baby, stop crying, stop crying. Don't do it if it hurts, baby."

I said no, I'm going to do it.

I wanted to push him away, to move on.

But Mr. Li was so strong that I couldn't break free.He kissed me out of order, and kept calling me in my ear.

"Baby, smile baby, don't cry."

I like it so much that he calls me baby, every time he calls me like that, I feel that he loves me so much.

I don't know whether I should ask this question, but I still ask it. If I don't ask it, I may not have a chance to ask it later.

I asked him, "Didn't it work if you didn't get married back then?"

Mr. Li and I were facing each other on the bed. He touched my face with his hand and answered the question: "It's just a business cooperation."

I asked in a different way. Before I could speak, a tear flowed down again: "If I didn't want you to get married like everyone else, would you still get married?"

Mr. Li looked sadder than me, he went to wipe my tears and said, "Baby."

"No. It's just a business. I can think of other ways. It's just the easiest way."

I don't believe a word of it.

I grabbed his hand, bit him, and said bitterly: "I also want to fall in love with you and get married."

Mr. Li still only knows how to coax me, saying: "Baby, I will give you whatever you want, you don't smile much recently."

It's this sentence again.

I smiled helplessly in my heart.

I looked into his eyes and avoided his gaze.

"I'd be jealous too. I don't want you to have children with other women."

Mr. Li put his fingers on my lips and pressed them gently.

"Will not."

Not sure what he meant.