Be good, lean on my shoulder

The man beside him breathed evenly, as if he had fallen into a peaceful dream.

Teng Ming wanted to break free from the man's embrace, but he was afraid of waking him up, so he had to stay in Duan Yi's embrace uncomfortably.At this time, some question marks appeared in Teng Ming's head:

Sometimes we compromise, what is it for?

In order to keep a stable relationship?

In order not to hurt the other party?

Or is it just to save the ridiculous face of not wanting to admit defeat?

There may be all of them, and there may be more reluctance.

After returning from Fan Ye's house, Teng Ming's mood was still in a state of instability, but fortunately Duan Yi knew what to do.

Duan Yi comforted Teng Ming and hugged him; although he didn't say anything, his gentle touch had been able to gradually stabilize Teng Ming's mood.

After Teng Ming's mood stabilized, Duan Yi said the words to ask for forgiveness.

What can Teng Ming say?Of course I forgave him.

Duan Yi knew that Teng Ming usually hated promises the most, he had never even heard Teng Ming say "I love you" to him, but tonight, he couldn't help asking: "Mingming, do you love me?"

Duan Yi could see panic flickering in Teng Ming's eyes after he asked this sentence, and after a pause of two seconds, he heard Teng Ming say: "Love."

Hearing this word was actually enough, but Duan Yi still couldn't restrain his feelings, and asked again: "Then you to Fan Ye..."

Before he finished speaking, Teng Ming said, "Fan Ye seems to be dead to me now."

When he said this, his face was very cold.

Duan Yi got the answer he wanted, and was as happy as a child. He carried Teng Ming around the room, kissed him on the cheek repeatedly, and asked him for a kiss.

Teng Ming kissed Duan Yi back, feeling Duan Yi's gradually increasing enthusiasm.

They haven't been this enthusiastic for a long time.

Teng Ming felt a little unspeakable awkwardness in his heart, and always felt that something was wrong.

The next day, Duan Yi happened to be on vacation for two days, so he drove Teng Ming to Arashiyama, southwest of Kyoto, for an outing.

When Duan Yi was driving past Fan Ye's house, Teng Ming sat in the passenger seat and deliberately turned his head to look at the other side, but he heard Duan Yi say:

"That bastard knows what's interesting!"

Teng Ming was taken aback, "What?"

Duan Yi said: "There is a sign for sale in front of Fan Ye's door, so I think he knows what he's interested in, and he knows to leave voluntarily."

Teng Ming nodded, did he leave so soon?

Duan Yi looked at Teng Ming's face, and held Teng Ming's left hand with his right hand, "Why, are you unhappy?"

Teng Ming smiled wryly, "Why? I was just thinking about what we will eat when we get to Lanshan."

Duan Yi clenched Teng Ming's hand, "It's really a snack. When we get there, if you see anything you want to eat, I'll take you there."

"Yeah, that's great."

The ride was not boring, because Duan Yi tried to make Teng Ming happy by being funny, and he tried his best.

This reminds Teng Ming of when they were in junior high school together, Duan Yi's talent for being funny and funny, coupled with his unique ruffian appearance, was the object of admiration of many boys.At that time, everyone in the dormitory centered on Duan Yi.

In Arashiyama this season, there are still some cherry blossoms in full bloom, which should be the last flowering period.

In such a beautiful scenery, any troubles will be temporarily put aside.

It was said that Teng Ming chose restaurants, but he had difficulty choosing, either he wanted to choose all of them, or he couldn’t choose any of them. In the end, he listened to Duan Yi’s decision and went to a traditional izakaya.

This izakaya is not small. There are seats all around. Bamboo curtains are hung on the seats, which adds a bit of privacy. You can hear the whispers of the people inside.

Duan Yi said that he would also like to sit in the private seat, but Teng Ming wanted to sit on the big table with revolving sushi.

He says he enjoys being able to grab sushi from the rotating belt.

Duan Yi sat with him on the rotating belt.

Teng Ming ate voraciously.

"Eat slowly, I won't compete with you." Duan Yi looked at Teng Ming and smiled.

Teng Ming wanted to say a word, but he was still chewing on the salmon sushi that had just been dipped in wasabi, "I..." just said a word, and then he was dazzled by the sharp headache of wasabi.

Duan Yi stroked Teng Ming's shoulder, handing him water and tissues.

At this time, three men who were a little drunk walked over, and one of them, who seemed to be in his 40s, fell back and made a conversation with a mocking smile on his face.

Duan Yi retracted nervously the hand that was originally on Teng Ming's back, then stood up, half-bowed to the man, and responded in a gentle tone.

Teng Ming took a sip of water and put down his glass.

He probably understands what that means and who this middle-aged man is.Maybe it's because Brother Yi has been in Japan for too long, and it's not surprising that he was influenced by the culture here or that he went to do as the Romans do.

When the three men walked out, Duan Yi was still respectful. After the group left, Duan Yi sat down and let out a long breath, "Hoo... the boss of the company..."

Teng Ming nodded, expressionless.

Duan Yi said: "Have you finished eating? If it's good, I'll pay the bill."

Teng Ming said: "Eat well, you go, I'll go to the bathroom." After saying that, he left the table.

Duan Yi looked at Teng Ming's leaving back, feeling a little puzzled.

The two walked side by side on the forest path, looking at the leisurely tourists on both sides. After walking for a while, Duan Yi went to the bathroom, and Teng Ming sat on a chair and waited for him.

Suddenly, Teng Ming saw a chocolate-colored Labrador that looked a lot like Tai Lun, and his heartbeat gradually accelerated. Did Fan Ye also come to Lanshan?

Teng Ming's gaze followed that Labrador. The Labrador was sitting under a tree, and there was a man sitting under the tree. His face could not be seen, only two long legs.

By the time Teng Ming realized it, he had already walked to the tree.

The Labrador looked back at Teng Ming, and instead of jumping over as Teng Ming expected, he stuck out his tongue and wagged his tail.

Ah, so it wasn't Tyron.

"Hello?" The man sitting under the tree sat up straight and looked at Teng Ming in doubt.

This person is not Fan Ye, but a foreigner.

"Sorry, Ithought you are someone I know." Teng Ming said apologetically.

"It'sok." After the man finished speaking, he rested against the tree again.

Duan Yi came over at this moment, "Obviously, are you okay?" He looked at the Labrador not far away, and then at Teng Ming.

Teng Ming shook his head, "It's okay, everything is fine." Then he continued to walk forward.

Duan Yi followed, he hesitated for a moment, and said: "Are you unhappy about what happened at noon?"

"What happened at noon?"

"The one at noon is our big boss. I heard that he dislikes comrades. At noon, he asked me if you are my lover..." Duan Yi paused when he said this.

Teng Ming pretended not to understand: "Oh? Then how did you answer?"

Duan Yi smiled wryly, "Why don't you know how I answered?" After saying this, he said again: "I may be promoted recently, so I can't let him know that I am gay."

Teng Ming said, "I understand."

"Really?!"

"real!"

"Oh, my Mingming is really too reasonable!" Duan Yi excitedly stepped forward to hug Teng Ming, and kissed him on the cheek.

Teng Ming deliberately pushed him away and said, "Aren't you afraid of being seen now?"

Duan Yi laughed, "What are you afraid of? We just hugged. It's normal for men to hug men."

Teng Ming also smiled, but did not answer.

They played in Arashiyama for two days, and returned to Kyoto after Duan Yi received a call from work to be transferred.

When the car drove home, it passed Fan Ye's house again.

This time, the house was on Teng Ming's side, so no matter how much he avoided it and didn't want to see it, he still saw the "for sale" sign hanging outside the house.

After seeing the sign, Teng Ming felt sad in his heart.

Maybe he was blaming himself for what he said to Fan Ye that day?

Yes, it must be so.

On the day he returned home, Duan Yi devoted himself to intense work. He was going to transfer from the original sales department to the management, so there were many things he needed to take care of.

Teng Ming also calmed down and started writing.But after he calmed down, he came and went again, and felt restless. He didn't know the reason. He didn't drink tea or coffee today. This flustered feeling was inexplicable.

In the end, he attributed the reason to the fact that he was about to submit the manuscript on the deadline, and he was far from finished.

It's been a busy day.

When Duan Yi got home, it was almost two o'clock in the morning.

Teng Ming has already fallen asleep.

Duan Yi quickly washed up, then lay down on the bed, and hugged his little boyfriend under the covers.

The warmth from him and his exclusive scent made Duan Yi feel happy and peaceful.

Thinking of this, he hugged Teng Ming tighter, and whispered in Teng Ming's ear, "I know you don't like me calling you wife, but I want to secretly say, wife, I love you while you are asleep. Haha Haha." He was very satisfied.

The night was very quiet, and there were small insects screaming outside the window.

Just before Duan Yi felt drowsy, he suddenly heard Teng Ming whispering something. He didn't want to listen to it at first, but after hearing what Teng Ming said vaguely, his drowsiness disappeared.

Duan Yi let go of Teng Ming's arm, straightened up slightly, and listened carefully.

"Fan Ye...Fan Ye..."

!!!

! ! ! !

He...he was calling Fan Ye's name?

In the shadow of the moonlight, Duan Yi sat on the bed in shock.

His mind was filled with all kinds of negative emotions——

Shock, anger, jealousy, resentment, confusion, pain...

At this moment, Teng Ming suddenly started to sob in his sleep, and said while sobbing: "No, Fan Ye, you misunderstood me...I also..."

The last few words sounded like thunder in Duan Yi's ears.

Duan Yi lost his mind for a moment, he felt his whole body was cold.

After a few minutes, Teng Ming calmed down a bit.

Duan Yi also calmed down a bit.

God knows what he has been thinking these few minutes?

Duan Yi lay down slowly. In the moonlit night, he looked at Teng Ming's face and gently wiped away his tears. Then he got up and put on his clothes.

After getting dressed, he only held his briefcase, stood in front of the bed, and looked at Teng Ming who was sleeping soundly.

Duan Yi turned around to leave, but his footsteps were heavy. He turned his head, turned his head again, and then simply walked to Teng Ming's side, knelt down, and kissed him gently.

Resisted kissing him.

Duan Yi clenched his fists, and it took a lot of thought to stand up and walk into the living room.

It took nearly an hour to leave a letter before walking out of the house.

Walking out of the yard and walking in front of his car, Duan Yi felt that the soles of his feet were limp as if he had stepped on cotton.

Duan Yi was looking for the key in the briefcase, and after taking out the key, the key fell on the ground.

He bent down to pick it up, and when his strength sank, he suddenly cried out.

There was only a cry, and then Duan Yi held back, and only after he hurriedly opened the car and sat in the driver's seat did he let his emotions vent.

It was as if the flood had burst its banks.

For a moment, he cried like a child who lost his most beloved treasure.

Outside the car, it was still quiet.

Hearing from outside the car, his cries were indistinct.

But if you pass by here and see the man crying so miserably under the moonlight in the middle of the night, you will definitely be moved too.

"My favorite is Mingming, you should face your own heart.

I dare not say how much I suppressed my resentment and scolding you to write these words.

How I wish you could love me alone with all your heart, but let's face it, the person you love most is not me.Although I really want to force you to stay by my side, but our old saying: a twisted melon is not sweet.

If you still decide to be with me after reading this letter, then I will definitely think that you sympathize with me, or do so because of our acquaintance for many years and old classmates, so don’t Find me again.

No, don't bother me again.

You upset me very much.

Makes me so upset that I can't go to work every day, and I just want to be with you every day.

I don’t know if you still remember, when we were in the third year of junior high, someone in the class laughed at you for being a sissy, haha, sorry, of course you remember, after all, you are as sensitive as your heart; I didn’t just speak for you , I even took the opportunity to hit that person in private, after all I was a notoriously bad student at the time.

Telling you this, I just want to tell you that I may have liked you since then, but I didn’t know that I could like boys at that time.

During these years of studying in Japan, my greatest insight may be to be responsible and try my best to fulfill my promises.

I have tried my best to try to forget that the person you really like is not me, but Fan Ye.

But it still doesn't work, tonight when I heard you calling Fan Ye's name in my dream, I completely broke down.

It feels like there is always a barrier between us that cannot be broken through, that you have closed off a part of yourself, maybe because of this part of you that is closed, I can never fully understand you.

And I only realized tonight that the closed part of you is Fan Ye.

Do you know, you are torturing yourself like this, and while you are torturing yourself, Fan Ye and I are also being tormented, so let me finish these tedious things and save those unnecessary troubles.

Don’t try to justify or deny these views of mine, but to bravely admit what you think in your heart is correct. Presumably this is what you writers want to convey to readers, right?

Only by admitting yourself and knowing yourself clearly can you live a better life.

Right?

Haha, my writing is not good, not as good as yours, don't laugh at me.

Finally, I would like to say that it is best for us not to contact each other again. I am not kidding. No matter if this is an angry word or something, it is best not to communicate with each other forever.Although Fan Ye will do whatever it takes to achieve his goal, but facing you, he is a good man.

Duan Yi.

2018.06.20 "

The weather is getting warmer, but it's still a bit cool in the morning. Now I'm wearing long sleeves and lying on a chair on the balcony. When the sun just came out, the comfort level is just right.

Teng Ming just lay there, staring at the increasingly dazzling sunlight in the distance, in a daze.

He held the letter from Duan Yi tightly in his hand.

You may think that Teng Ming will cry, and he thought he would cry at first, but after reading this letter, he did not cry, but was very calm.

Calm to the point of losing his mind, his eyes let go of everything.

I don't know where my mind wandered.

He just sat on that chair all morning without eating or drinking.

like a statue.

Teng Ming seemed to have returned to the age of 16. In the winter of the third day of that year, Duan Yi's bed was wet with water, and he slept in the same bed with Teng Ming. The two of them kept swallowing and spitting at night, but they didn't know why it happened; During the day, someone in the class laughed at him as a sissy, and everyone in the dormitory was silent, but Duan Yi shouted loudly: What does his sissy care about you?Why do you laugh at others?The expression on Duan Yi's face makes people fall in love...

Teng Ming seemed to be 23 years old again. He and Fan Ye went to the West Lake to play together. While taking pictures, Teng Ming accidentally fell into the lake. He couldn’t swim. He just fell, almost in the next second. Fan Ye jumped in to save him... So unthinking, so eager, so caressing...

All this is their tenderness to him.

These are enough for him to repay the rest of his life.