To Sutta

"The brain is very deceiving, not only fabricating lies to others, but also to ourselves."

Suta heard someone say that.He seems to have heard this sentence many times, and it seems that he has only heard it once.

Who is lying to me... Suta thought, or am I lying to myself?

This time the dream was white, a vast expanse of whiteness, but Suta felt very familiar, as if this should be the most original appearance.

He walked forward, his eyes shifted, and every step he took seemed to have a crisp echo.

He saw Lin Ling in the white.

He found himself walking into an amusement park. Lin Ling held popcorn in one hand and a Mickey Mouse balloon in the other, and handed it to him, smiling at him.

Suta remembered that after they got together, they seemed to have visited this amusement park.Lin Ling not only handed him balloons, but also ice cream, milk tea, and game consoles.

He reached out to take it, but the balloon disappeared suddenly. Lin Ling held his hand, and the surrounding scene changed suddenly, fading away like a faded watercolor painting, and turning into a home.

He and Lin Ling were sitting on the sofa together, and some data cables were connected to their heads, and the end was connected to a computer.

Lin Ling dragged out the virtual screen with one hand, pointed to the continuously updated graph on it and said: "Look, this is our brain wave. When I speak, it will be twice as active as when it is quiet."

"This is so interesting." Suta heard himself say, "How much data do we need?"

"It needs to be recorded for a year."

Yes, Suta remembered, they had this conversation once.

The picture in front of him melted, Suta continued to move forward, and found that he was floating above a city, and the city was falling apart, the ground was shattered, the city collapsed, and there were strings of codes floating in the air at the collapsed place, and then disappeared.

Suta lowered his head, he couldn't feel any emotions, he just watched the city gradually disappear.

This scene seems to have been seen many times...

When Suta woke up, the first thing he saw was the ceiling, and the second thing he saw was Lin Ling's hands, slender and well-defined, helping him wipe away the tears overflowing from the corners of his eyes.

With the awakening of consciousness, the fragments of the dream became blurred, and there was a faint dull pain in the joints.

"……This is where?"

"Hospital."

Su Ta struggled to sit up, Lin Ling quickly supported him, and put a pillow behind Su Ta: "Slow down..."

Su Ta remembered that he was celebrating Lin Ling's birthday. He was so dizzy that he probably passed it a long time ago, so he couldn't help but feel a little guilty: "How long have I been asleep?"

"Two days, it's afternoon now." Lin Ling reached out and stroked his hair, his eyes were bloodshot, as if he hadn't slept well all night.

Su Ta looked at Lin Ling, feeling even more guilty in his heart, so he took Lin Ling's hand and said, "I'm sorry, I wanted to give you a happy birthday, but I didn't expect it to turn out like this... Maybe it's because the code The writing is too intense... When we go back, we can make another hot pot to eat."

Lin Ling nodded, went out to buy a bowl of porridge and came back, and fed it to him, just like feeding a child.Suta didn't have much appetite, but to reassure him, he drank it by the spoonful.

Although Suta had slept for two days, he still felt tired and exhausted lying on the bed. When he was about to fall asleep, the pain in his bones drove the drowsy bug away. After tossing and turning like this, he could only complain to Lin Ling: "Lin Ling Zero, my bones hurt... Do you think I have rheumatism?"

Lin Ling paused for a moment, and a trace of unbearableness flashed in his eyes.Su Ta saw it, and suddenly felt something was wrong, and asked Lin Ling: "...What's wrong with me, am I sick?"

When the doctor came in with the medical record at the right time, Suta asked the doctor.Unexpectedly, the doctor didn't speak, but looked at Lin Ling hesitantly.

Su Ta felt a bad feeling in his heart, and said to Lin Ling seriously: "Tell me the truth...what's wrong with me?"

Su Ta staggered down from the bed and went to get the medical records, Lin Ling hurried to support him.

Holding the medical record, Suta caught two words in a flash:

bone cancer.

For a moment, the whole room was silent, and the doctor had already left. Suta looked at the two words repeatedly, and it was clear that it was bone cancer.

Su Ta stared at the medical record, then turned to look at Lin Ling, but didn't react for a while.

Lin Ling took the medical records from Suta, put his arm around Suta, and let him sit back on the bed.It was firm and restrained.In the advanced stage of bone cancer, the bones of the whole body are very fragile, easily fractured, and it is difficult to walk.

Su Ta took a few deep breaths, hugged Lin Ling's waist back, his eyes were red, his voice was suppressed as much as possible but still trembling: "Then I... am I dying?"

"Don't be afraid, Suta, you will be fine." Lin Ling stroked his back and whispered: "The doctor said that if the corresponding bone marrow can be found, there is still a chance of recovery...don't be afraid..."

Su Ta didn't speak, his head was buried between Lin Ling's sweater and coat, his shoulders trembled slightly.In the winter afternoon, the sun was about to set, and there was only a blood-red sunset outside the window, and the room that was not illuminated by the sun looked gloomy and cold.

Lin Ling sighed softly, lowered his head and kissed his hair, and said, "I will always be with you."

In the past few days, Lin Ling has asked for leave, like a full-time nanny. He feeds Suta's food and helps him walk. Even when he takes a bath, he will go outside the door to ask about the situation.

Su Ta couldn't laugh or cry: "I didn't expect that I could enjoy the treatment of the emperor for a few days in my lifetime?"

In the past few days, Suta changed from the initial shock and panic to An Ran.Of course he was afraid of death, every day before falling asleep, he would hold Lin Ling's hand tightly, for fear that if he closed his eyes this time, he would never be able to open them again.Su Ta's parents divorced a long time ago and formed their own families. They only came to take a look, brought some fruit, and when they knew they were together, they threw the burden to Lin Ling, just a formality.

But even so, Suta still has a lot of nostalgia, his code, his life, he still has many places he wants to go, food he wants to eat, and he still wants to be with Lin Ling forever, until his temples Frosty day.

He thought, although Lin Ling has been comforting himself, he knows that the chance of finding a suitable bone marrow is very small, and the possibility of the operation being successful is also very small. Suta's life's luck has been used to reunite with Lin Ling, so he really dare not expect extravagant results. There is a day of recovery.It's just that if he died, Lin Ling would live alone in this world, how painful and lonely he would be.Long after his death, Lin Ling will live in great sorrow. Thinking of that kind of scene, Suta's heart aches.He doesn't doubt that Lin Ling will be alone and grow old alone, but he hopes that Lin Ling can find someone who is more suitable for him and understands him better, so that he can live a happy life.

But once he thinks that Lin Ling will hold another person's hand and kiss another person, he will feel a strong sadness and unwillingness in his heart. He doesn't want to hand over Lin Ling to others at all. Why should someone who has been here for six years give it up to someone else...

Suta went to sleep with such thoughts every day, and tried to look happy the next day. Lin Ling didn't mention his illness, but just tried to make him happy.Sometimes Suta thought, the two of them were obviously sad in private, but they wanted to put on smiling faces on the surface, which was quite abnormal.But humans are such perverted creatures.

After a few weeks, with no news from the bone marrow, Suta slowly began to undergo chemotherapy.As soon as his hair fell off, he was not fat at all, and he lost twenty catties. When Suta looked in the mirror that day, he thought he saw a skull.He has to take a few painkillers every day before going to bed, otherwise he will wake up in pain at night.

The colleagues in the company are kinder than his parents, and have come to see him a few times.Among them, Lu Mo came the most, but Su Ta reckoned that Lin Ling was the ulterior motive.After all, he was in charge of a key part of the game, and it was difficult to find someone to take over for a while, so when he came for the second time, he brought the game program code along.Su Ta thought that this person was also a person who had nothing to shake his mood except work, and other colleagues were very reluctant to bear his appearance, but this Lu Mo didn't respond, his usual look, and the look in his eyes was also meaningful.

But thanks to him, Lin Ling has something to do when he takes care of him in his spare time. He can write two lines of code.

Two months passed like this, just when Suta felt that he was going to die little by little in this quiet time, suddenly, on an ordinary morning, gunshots rang out in the corridor of the hospital.

The author has something to say: Happy New Year