clinging to you, imprisoning the past

The feeling of the soul being pulled away is as if someone grabbed the heart and pulled it back violently, and then the whole person was light and light, and the surrounding scenery changed strangely.After a while, it became dark again, but a faint light penetrated the darkness and shone on the retina.

Zhou Zhi opened his eyes, the sun was shining on his face, and he couldn't see clearly. The familiar smell of disinfectant gave him the first thought:

"Someone fucking drugged me?!"

Looking around, the curtains were pulled open, and he didn't see the layout of the surroundings until his eyes were cleared—an old iron hospital bed, an old-fashioned infusion bottle, and a few reds that had been washed and faded on the yellowed bed sheet. Big characters "liberate the hospital".

Zhou Zhi was dumbfounded, and kept fumbling for his phone.

After touching it for a moment, he was stunned.

If this was 1999, I wouldn't have a cell phone at all!

He pulled out the infusion tube and stumbled out of bed. The hot blood gushing from the needle hole slowly flowed down his arm. His strong and powerful body made him wake up like a dream. This is his healthy body in his 20s!

Feeling the body full of power and warmth, Zhou Zhi really believed that he had returned to the past.

He walked straight towards the small mirror next to the door, and the familiar but extremely distant face kept approaching him. The face sculpted by 15 years of vicissitudes and the appearance of a young man who had faded reminded Zhou Zhi of the past. , In the silence, this handsome young face added a bit of sudden oldness.

He stared blankly at himself, with mixed feelings in his heart.

After a while, he came back to his senses as if he woke up with a start, and looked up at the clock. It was afternoon, and it was the time for him to sign the contract.Zhou Zhi thought for a while. At this time, his parents had been gone for three years, and there were only a few close people around him. They were the only ones who could send him to the hospital and visit him regularly.

Zhou Zhi looked out the window. At this time, there were not many cars on the street, and he probably didn't have half a penny on him. Now that it was almost evening, if he really wanted to go anywhere, he could only wait for those people he knew to come and deliver him meals. up.

He went back to the bed and waited while thinking, if he saw Shen Zhuo, what would he say?What are you going to do with him in the future?After thinking about it, he gradually became stagnant, his thinking was kidnapped, and he dragged it to that autumn afternoon, he said:

"Sorry, it's time for us to separate."

That afternoon, the fallen leaves were all over the ground, turning into a sea of ​​yellow and orange.Shen Zhuo floated on the ocean, making a rustling sound, his mouth was tightly shut, his dim eyes were full of disappointment, and there was a bit of "expected" sadness.

The sparrows jumped up and down among the fallen leaves noisily, and flew up again, taking up a few pieces of golden yellow, and then floated down unsteadily, and some pieces stuck to the shoes of the two of them.

"I guess you will at least wait until the end of the New Year's Eve. We agreed that we will spend that day together."

Shen Zhuo finally spoke, and now it was Zhou Zhi's turn to remain silent.

"Just a few months, can't you wait?" He smiled mockingly, his eyes hurting like sharp knives.

"I'm sorry." Zhou Zhi only knew how to repeat, he hesitated, a sentence rolled on his lips, and finally he said it.

"But in the future, I will never love others again." He looked at Shen Zhuo, his eyes were full of loneliness and confusion, perhaps, there was still a lingering affection that remained warm after the ignition.

Shen Zhuo said, "Oh."

With one word, he magnified his deep disdain, turned around and walked away without looking back.The tall and thin figure became more and more blurred in Zhou Zhi's eyes, and the world became quiet, only the wailing of fallen leaves being crushed by him could be heard, and after a while, even the thin sobs could not be heard.

That day, the whole world was celebrating the arrival of the new century, and they reveled with the never-ending fireworks in the sky. Zhou Zhi sat quietly in the park where he and Shen Piao parted. The snow was piled up thickly, and people ran to the city center Went to the carnival, the park was empty, as if it belonged to him alone.

Zhou Zhi took out a cigarette and lit it, but he just held it between his fingers. He remembered that some people don't like the smell of cigarettes.

Looking at the colorful splashes in the sky, and listening to the sharp whistle and bursting sound of fireworks flying into the sky, Zhou Zhi knew that this park not only belonged to him, but also belonged to the same Shenjue here.But Zhou Zhi would not look for him, he was sure that if he took another look, he would regret it.

The countdown has begun.

"five four three two one."

"Happy New Year." Zhou Zhi said softly.

"Happy New Year." Shen Zhuo said from another corner.

Zhou Zhi lay down for a long time, boiled all the memories in his mind, and only returned to reality when he knew there was nothing to recall.

He was glad that he signed that weird contract with that nondescript thing, and in just five months, he would definitely get himself back from the wrong path.

He sat and waited for the door to open.

……

The sound of "creaking" interrupted Zhou Zhi's thoughts. It was the sound of the door opening. He realized that his eyes widened involuntarily. If it was him who came in, Zhou Zhi swore that he would meet his long-lost love again. The appearance is deeply engraved in the heart.

The opening of the door became a slow motion in his eyes, and time gradually turned into a shocking heartbeat, plopping, and Zhou Zhi, who was half lying down, propped himself up. What was about to happen in his eyes was sacred. An incomparable reunion after 15 years.

At this moment, he was absolutely convinced that the person who came was Shen Zhuo.

When that face poked out, many things flashed through Zhou Zhi's mind.He was afraid, hesitant, overwhelmed.I seem to have forgotten how to get along with others, and I don't know how to deal with Shen Ji, who loves me deeply at this moment, with endless regret and guilt.

When he sees me, does he think he sees a dying old man?

……

"Hey." There was a voice that I could only hear in my dreams.

Zhou Zhi lived up to expectations and was stunned. He only felt that his throat and eyes were extremely dry, and he would suffocate in the next second.

"... Are you really stupid?" Shen Zhuo snapped his fingers three or four times in front of Zhou Zhi's eyes, and finally pulled his soul back.

"I..." Zhou Zhi opened his mouth, and found that his voice was hoarse, as if he had blown the northwest wind for three days and three nights with his mouth open on the roof.

"What me, I don't know where your troubles came from. When it rained, you fell on the ground while walking. It took you a few days to wake up." Shen Jue said strangely.

"Low blood sugar..." Zhou Zhi explained dryly, thinking that the next time he faints, he won't feel crazy when he returns from the original product...

"I've never seen anyone who can faint for a few days due to hypoglycemia. Master Zhou, that's amazing." Zhou Zhi snorted.

"Mr. Shen, I have never seen anyone who came here with porridge for a long time and didn't put it down and stood there foolishly. It really opened my eyes." Zhou Zhi looked at the porridge in Shen Zhuo's hand. , closed five years ago, the old lady selling porridge passed away.

However, fortunately, I forgot how to get along with him.

Zhou Zhi breathed a sigh of relief inwardly.

Shen Zhuo pulled up a chair and sat down. Seeing Zhou Zhi who was in a daze like a mentally handicapped man, he looked at him with interest, "Oh, are you really stupid?" He joked.

"Fuck off." Zhou Zhi raised his eyes and glared at him, only then did he see clearly that his eyebrows and eyes, which had been somewhat blurred for more than ten years, were still so arrogant. Whether it was eyebrows, eyes, nose or mouth, he was so arrogant. The appearance can be described as natural.

"Hurry up and drink it. I bought it after walking for a long time." Shen Zhuo looked annoyed but carefully opened the plastic bowl, and handed it to Zhou Zhi.

"Obey, Mr. Shen." Zhou Zhi said.

He sneaked a peek while drinking the porridge, the sun was about to set, and just rightly distributed the warm light on him, his eyelashes were dyed golden, trembling slightly, even the fine hairs on his cheeks and arms also turned into It turned golden, wrapped him like a halo, and neutralized the cold appearance. The shirt was unbuttoned, and the clear collarbone rose and fell with the breath. , from the corners of the eyes, to the strands of hair, everything is there.

"I miss you." Zhou Zhi looked into his eyes, like shallow lakes filled with water.

Shen Jue stared at him, "When did you become so hypocritical?", and then scratched his neck extremely uncomfortably. Still staring at people, intently.Shen Jue was a little ashamed when he looked at him, so he said: "I saw you lying silently these few days, so I came over to sit with you after class. Now that I think about it, it's a bit funny, I'm so afraid of you I became that kind of vegetable all of a sudden, so I had to imitate what was shown on TV, calling your name over and over again... Did you hear that? I have been sleeping here on my stomach for the past few nights." As he spoke, he poured porridge towards Zhou Zhi The little table board raised his eyebrows.

Zhou Zhi stared fixedly at the lake in his eyes, the lingering affection in it was undisguised, and it was about to overflow his eyes in the next second, he suddenly wanted to cry.

"I'm sorry..." Zhou Zhi said, he paused, and added slightly jerky,

"I love you."