Spring Summer Autumn Winter

When Li Yu'an received the text message, he was just about to go to work, and he was afraid that he would be late if he got up a little later, but now he is fine, and he will never have to worry about being late.

Yesterday, he guessed in his heart that the store manager might dislike him, and that he should meet with him as little as possible when going to work, but he didn't expect that he would be fired directly, and so quickly.

Fortunately, the store manager still paid him his salary, and he can still eat and drink well recently.

When he received the text message, he just froze for a moment, didn't react too much, and didn't feel wronged or unacceptable.To be honest, he felt that it was quite normal. After all, this was a private bookstore, and whoever was hired and fired was entirely up to the boss.

The boss can't accept gays to work here, so the gay self should get out of here.

So after reading the text message, he put away his phone, immediately changed his destination, and started wandering on the road, going to the commercial street to see if there was any recruiting place.

He searched around and asked a lot of shops, but in the end, there were not many people in need, and only a few restaurants needed waiters, but after asking about the salary, he still chose to leave.

If possible, the salary should not be so pitiful... With that little money, it's okay to send students to work part-time.

The sky was getting dark, and he was tired after walking all day, so he was going to find a place to eat.

The end of the commercial street is not so prosperous, most of them are small restaurants, usually working people come here to eat in order to save money, Li Yuan just found a random shop and ordered a bowl of wontons, and looked at the place while eating.

He has never been here before, and he is not very familiar with it. He subconsciously wanted to see if there was any recruiting place nearby. As a result, when he looked around, he suddenly found that there seemed to be a little neon color not far away, and these simple restaurants were lit. The light bulbs are in stark contrast.

After eating, he walked in that direction until the restaurants were far away from him, the street lights disappeared, and he saw the storefront at the corner.

This shop was really hidden, if he hadn't seen the light, he might not have found such a shop even if he came dozens of times.

He squinted his eyes and carefully identified the flickering light board. After looking at it for a long time, he realized that it was the word "Mi Ye".

Lost in the night.The name sounds like a nightclub.

He turned around and wanted to leave, but suddenly a man staggered out from the door of the shop, he seemed to be drunk, muttering something in his mouth, and then he sang at a higher volume, halfway through singing, he fell to the ground with a "boom", and the singing sounded instantly It turned into a howl.

Li Yu'an saw that he was crawling on the ground alone and couldn't get up, and there was no one around to help him, so he finally stepped forward to help him up.

"Uh... are you okay?" The man looked thin, but he turned out to be dead. Li Yu'an lifted him up and was forced to sway, and he supported the wall to stabilize the two of them.

"It's okay! No... Ugh—"

Li Yu'an: "..."

The new clothes just changed today were spit out of a foul-smelling unknown substance. Li Yu'an's whole body was stiff, and he looked down at his chest speechlessly.

The man wanted to vomit again, so Li Yu'an quickly stepped back and turned his head away so that he didn't vomit on him.

When he was worried and didn't know what to do, a man in uniform finally came out of the store, and ran over to help him up.

"Oh... just say why can't I find you? How much have you drank?" The man who looked like a waiter patted the man's back lightly, frowned and complained, then raised his head and said to Li Yu'an: " Ah, thank you... Oh, I'm really sorry for your clothes, just wait a moment and go to the store to change."

Li Yu'an didn't really want to go in, but he really couldn't leave like this, so he nodded and stood aside and waited.

When the man had almost vomited, the waiter greeted him to go in and change clothes together.

As soon as he entered the door, the deafening music, shouts, and singing slammed at him overwhelmingly, and the dazzling colored lights flickered at a very high frequency, dyeing people's faces in different colors.Bold and non-mainstream people in revealing clothes drank wine recklessly, twisted their bodies, and even embraced and kissed deeply without restraint. Other people seemed to be used to it, and did not pay more attention to these lingering people.

Everyone vents their emotions, releases their repressed self, mixes their inner rebellion into the wine, and then stimulates every cell in the body with the spirits, making them dance fearlessly.

Li Yu'an was shocked at the moment, and suddenly felt that the door was like an enchantment, and now he broke into a completely strange and crazy dimension. This huge impact made him stay at the door like a fool, and he was stunned for a while. After a while, he was pulled away by the waiter.

"There are no other clothes in the store. You can wear this shirt first. I'll find someone to wash and dry it for you. It will be ready in a while." The waiter helped the dizzy man up to the second floor. Then he came down with the same white shirt as he was wearing, and handed it to Li Yuan who was waiting at the stairs.

Li Yu'an came back to his senses, stretched out his hand to take it, and found that the shirt was the same as the one he was wearing, probably the uniform of a waiter, and with a little vest and a bow tie, he would be a waiter.

"Trouble, thank you." He hid sideways in the shadows, then changed his clothes, handed his dirty one to the waiter, and was careful not to let him touch the dirty place.

The waiter nodded and said, "You go to the bar and sit for a while? Light up what you want to drink first, and I'll give you a free order later."

Li Yuan turned his head to look at the bar, as if that place was going to be a little quieter, so he nodded and obediently went to the bar.

"Hello...Huh? Are you a new waiter?" The boy at the bar greeted him halfway, then pointed to his shirt and asked.

Li Yuan shook his head in embarrassment: "Uh, no. My clothes are dirty, so I will wear this first..."

The little brother said "oh", didn't care, and asked him what he wanted to drink.

"Thank you, no need. I'll just wait here for a while." Li Yu'an didn't understand these drinks, so he waved his hand and refused, moved to the farthest seat and waited quietly.

Maybe it was because he looked so out of place, the guy at the bar had nothing to do, so he came over to wipe the cup.

"Your first time at a bar?" the little brother asked.

Li Yu'an nodded, not wanting to talk much.

"Oh...then why are your clothes dirty?"

Li Yu'an: "Just now a man at the door was drunk and vomited, and he vomited on me."

The little brother immediately opened his eyes wide and let out a "wow", and said, "It can't be Brother Ling? He threw up again? Hey, isn't that guy wearing a very flamboyant floral shirt?"

Li Yu'an thought about it for a while, then nodded.The man seemed to be wearing a shirt with big red and green flowers all over it.

"Is he from your shop?" he asked.

The little brother smiled: "Hahaha, he is our boss. He doesn't hold a lot of alcohol and drinks every day. He vomited several times." Then he asked: "Hey, I think you are not very old, are you a college student?"

Li Yu'an shook his head: "No, he graduated from high school and didn't go to college."

"Oh...you are about the same as me. I graduated from junior high school and hang out with Brother Ling hahaha." The little brother said with a smile.

Li Yu'an didn't speak any more, and waited quietly.

But the guy at the bar was really too talkative. After 2 minutes of being quiet, he came over and asked, "Hey, are there any children like this who don't go to school around you? Introduce a few, we are short of manpower here."

Upon hearing this, Li Yu'an was attracted and asked, "Do you want to hire a waiter?"

"That's right, I can't be too busy at all. Hey, really, if you know him, introduce him. Our salary is very high. Brother Ling is super generous." The younger brother said.

"How much?" Li Yu'an asked.

The boy at the bar didn't speak, and stretched out his hand to compare a number.

...really high.

"Is there any... request?" Li Yu'an asked.

The little brother raised his head and thought for a while, then looked at his face and said seriously: "It's better to look better, just a little worse than you is enough."

"..." Li Yu'an was speechless for a while. "Then... can you see me?"

"Ah? You?" The boy at the bar was a little surprised. "I thought you had a job? Of course you can come here if you want! Oh, I can't say that, I have to ask Brother Ling. But generally Brother Ling who has passed my eyes is satisfied hahahaha..."

"..." This mouth is really powerful, and Li Yuan's headache is caused by the blah blah.

The little brother has to ask Brother Ling, that is, the drunk shirt, so it has to be tomorrow's business, so let's come back tomorrow to see, after all, the salary is really attractive.

He needs money, he is not used to this kind of noisy environment and the atmosphere of luxury and money, but he has no other choice when it comes to money.

He came over again the next night, and it happened that the owner of the floral shirt was chatting with the little brother at the bar.

"Ah! Handsome guy, you're here!" The younger brother saw him, ignored his boss for a moment, and greeted him with a smile.

The boss also looked back, and saw that he was indeed a handsome guy with a cold demeanor, walking over in a black shirt.

"Come on, Brother Ling, this is what I told you this morning, the hero saved that handsome guy last night!"

... A hero saves the beauty?

Brother Ling frowned and thought for a while, and then suddenly realized: "Oh, oh, it's you! Thank you, thank you, no... sorry, sorry, well, the clothes are all washed for you, right?"

Li Yu'an nodded and wanted to speak, but he didn't have a chance to open his mouth at all.

"Then what, Pingping told me that you didn't go to school, and then you want to come here to be a waiter, right?" Brother Ling asked.

Seeing that he couldn't get in the conversation, Li Yu'an simply shut up and answered.

"No problem! I'll go to work tonight! I can't get the contract right now, can I sign it tomorrow?"

Li Yu'an was a little surprised, it was decided so casually?Don't you even need an interview? Fortunately, he made some preparations in advance.

He thought for a moment, then nodded.In fact, he doesn't care about the contract, as long as he can make money, security, fair treatment...these are not important.He is a person who wants to die with all his heart, and these are all extraneous things to him, not worth mentioning.

"Happy! My name is Fang Yunling, you can just call me brother Ling, this one is mediocre. And that—what about the fourth child, let the fourth child bring over the clothes..." Brother Ling slapped the table loudly when he saw that he agreed so simply. Said.Then he started to greet people and got busy, and soon pushed Li Yu'an into the dressing room to change his clothes.

The clothes were very common bar waiter uniforms, but Li Yu'an couldn't bear it because he was good-looking and tall, so he looked really good in them, and stood out among the crowd.

As soon as he came out, Brother Ling, who was drinking, was taken aback when he saw him, stopped his hands, looked him up and down, and after a while said, "Tsk... well, fourth brother, go and train someone, it's a bit Be patient, it might be a facade in the future!"

So someone came and took him away again, and told him about the rules of the bar, the job description, and other things.

After tossing around until midnight, he finally wrote down all the things he needed to memorize that night, changed his clothes and left.

The restaurants ahead were closed, and without the lights, the road was dark, and he had to slow down.

The noise and madness were left behind by him, and what accompanied him at this moment was the familiar silence, until now he came to his senses, but still felt that those few hours in the bar seemed like a world away, as if he could not A world to fully step into.

The people there are so free and unrestrained, not afraid of other people's eyes, sweating freely, letting their emotions vent freely... like a group of lunatics wandering outside the world, but they are lunatics that he envies.

He knew in his heart that even if he would work in a bar in the future, he would never be as free as them.

Because it was himself who put the shackles on him, and the key that once appeared has also left, and he will never be able to unlock this shackle.

……

Yang Siyuan has been very busy since the beginning of school, and he doesn't know what he is busy with. Anyway, he has been busy all day, and finally ended the day in a daze.Before I knew it, two months had passed.

He was busy with messy things, and Chen Limei was busy with work, and the two of them still had no contact. It wasn't until the end of the May Day holiday that Chen Limei suddenly called him.

The content of the phone call is very simple, his grandma passed away.

When he answered the phone, Yang Siyuan was on his way out of class. Some flowers he didn't know bloomed beside the school's gravel road. The small flowers were soft and fragile, shaking gently in the breeze. He was a little worried that they would be broken by the wind.

"Ah, oh..." After Chen Limei told him the news, he was only taken aback, and then responded twice.

He also wanted to say something, but he really didn't know what to say.

Logically speaking, Chen Limei should be comforted, but Chen Limei's tone was normal, as if she was not sad.

He should also express his sadness, and the memory of the loved ones who have passed away, but... frankly, he didn't feel it at all.

As if a stranger who had nothing to do with him died, he didn't have any mood swings at all, and what he thought about was what he should say to relieve the embarrassment, not sad for his grandma's death.

After hanging up the phone, he sat on a bench beside him, holding his phone in a daze.

Last semester, Guo Shun's grandfather passed away. A boy who was usually so careless cried and swollen his eyes that day. He cried "Grandpa" while crying, which was heartbreaking.

He never thought about how he would react if his parents died, but after all, it was a relative who died, so how could he not feel it at all?How could I be so... ruthless?

The death of his grandmother made him more aware of his indifference and indifference to his family, which made him hard to believe, but he couldn't deny it.

Why is this happening?

He thought for a while, and suddenly realized that he couldn't even remember what his grandma looked like or what his name was. This person seemed to exist only in his mother's mouth, and he seemed to have nothing to do with her at all.

That's right... Since he was a child, he has indeed never been taken care of by his elders, and he has rarely even seen each other.

So his grandma, who was related by blood, was actually a stranger to him.

Not only grandma, but also grandparents, as well as those relatives that he can't remember and can't distinguish, all of them are like this, they only exist in Chen Limei's description, but they don't appear a few times.

Other people will receive gifts and red envelopes from their elders on birthdays and festivals, but he has never, never had them.

Thinking of this, he slowly lowered his head, his nose a little sore.

Maybe it's because I've been too tired all these years, and suddenly I can't stretch myself anymore, the grievance and sadness that he has been forced to ignore for many years flooded up, and even this bright spring day couldn't warm him up.

……

A few days later, his cell phone, which had been quiet for a long time, rang again, but he never expected that it was Yang Jianxin who called him.

He hesitated for a long time, and finally answered the phone without saying anything, just listening to Yang Jianxin talking to himself on the other end.

Yang Jianxin said that he would come to Wuhan for a business trip in a few days and wanted to meet him and have a good chat.

Yang Siyuan doesn't care, just chat, he doesn't care what he has to say at all.

The two made an appointment to meet on the weekend, and Yang Siyuan took a taxi that day, feeling as calm as a pool of stagnant water along the way.

Yang Jianxin said that he wanted to have a good chat, but he didn't consider whether it would be too far from the school when making the appointment, so he forced Yang Siyuan to take an hour's car to get to the store.

"Xiaoyuan, this way." As soon as he entered the door, Yang Siyuan saw him sitting and beckoned to him.

He even forgot the last time he was called that by this name, but right now, he felt a little nauseous.

He adjusted his mood, then walked over and sat down.

"Are you nervous about studying recently?" Yang Jianxin asked.

This kind of gentle attitude seems to have happened in the previous life.Is it because Fan Li's mother is very gentle, so she also polished his temper like this?

Yang Siyuan responded casually: "It's okay."

"Study hard, you will have a good future after studying finance." Yang Jianxin nodded and said.

Yang Siyuan didn't speak, just lowered his head and stirred the coffee he ordered earlier.

Seeing that he didn't speak, Yang Jianxin asked again: "Is your mother okay?"

Yang Siyuan didn't stop moving his hands, and replied without hesitation: "Very good, better than before."

There were thorns in his words, and Yang Jianxin could hear them, but he had never heard his son say such hidden needles, nor had he been satirized or contradicted by him, so he was stunned for a while.

"It's fine... the money I called you, you..."

For some reason, Yang Siyuan was inexplicably disgusted and irritable when he saw his gentle attitude.

He interrupted him directly: "I saved the money and didn't spend it. I have something to do this afternoon, so just say what you want."

His tone was extremely cold, leaving no room for Yang Jianxin, as if he had changed into a different person.

But maybe this is the real him?

Yang Jianxin was silent for a while, then sighed and said: "I know you blame me in your heart. But between adults, emotional matters... are really complicated, and it can't be explained clearly in a few words. This kind of thing can't be completely blamed. On my own head, yes, I did make a mistake when I got together with others, but your mother..."

The more Yang Siyuan listened, the more disgusted he became, and he interrupted him again: "You just want to talk about this? Then you don't need to say it, I don't need to listen."

In Yang Jianxin's surprised eyes, he took a sip of coffee calmly and then said: "Let's just go, no need to explain, and no need to come back to greet us, we have nothing to do with you now, even if you have a heart Thinking about it, we don’t have the mind to listen to it anymore. Because we have already turned the page, we don’t have time to talk about the past. If you have this spare time, why not spend time with your current wife and don’t let her and me Like my mother, I sleep on the double bed by myself every day."

When he was talking, he kept looking into Yang Jianxin's eyes. This man who used to beat and scold him so often that he was so scared that he hid in the closet was weak in his eyes at this moment.He didn't worry at all whether he would lose his temper on the spot, because he was no longer his father, so he didn't have to endure him like before.If Yang Jianxin got angry with him, he would definitely fight back with an eye for an eye and mercilessly.

But as he expected, Yang Jianxin did not move, but looked at his son in disbelief.

Yang Siyuan ignored him, took out a paper ticket, put it aside the coffee, and left without saying a word.

The moment he turned to leave, he felt as if a certain part of his heart suddenly woke up. The self that had been suppressed by him for many years seemed to be slowly occupying his body and eating away at his soul.

Are you finally going to show your true colors?

He smiled, as if he didn't mind, and even looked forward to it.