Spring Summer Autumn Winter

Nung, moon and new moon.

When the poet looks at the moon, most of his thoughts are on the person who has the same thoughts under the same moonlight, as if he can touch the figure of that person through the cold light.

For the past dozen years, this day has been no different from any other day on the calendar.When I was young, I was in a daze while waiting for my mother to come home. When I grew up, I was reading a book while waiting for my mother to come home.In fact, his mother may not come back, but he has no other choice other than this to prove that he has a family.

When the moon is bright, there are no stars.

The moon of Mid-Autumn Festival is full and lonely.

Li Yu'an moved out a small bench and sat in the small courtyard with a box of mooncakes on his lap, and a puppy with shining eyes curled up under his lap.

The house is small and can't stop the pouring moon, which makes the small courtyard look like a shallow pond.Li Yu'an was sitting in the middle of the shallow pond, with his head raised, his already pale complexion was almost hidden in the moonlight, and deep shadows were cast on his eye sockets.

"Is it so bright..." he murmured.

Hearing the owner's whisper, the puppy barked twice, staring earnestly at the delicious-looking box of pastries.

Li Yu'an lowered his head when he heard the sound, and put out a hand to touch its little head. The little guy whimpered to express his love.

"No, this can't be given to you. This is... for me."

Bo Yun came with the wind, covering half of the disc, Li Yuan left a ham and a helpless look for the puppy, and looked up at the moon again.

The fingers moved slightly, as if they had finally gathered enough strength to gently pinch a piece of moon cake, like pinching a piece of jade.

The flour and stuffing made a slight sound under the chewing of the teeth, and passed through the bones to the ears, which was deafening.Tongue coating with it, fully accept ups and downs.

Is it sweet?sweet.

He chewed slowly, watching the thin cloud creep past little by little, and finally licked off the last bit of residue when the moon was able to reveal its full face again.

It was a cool autumn night, and he sat until the moon was blocked by the hut, until the puppy was sleeping soundly under his lap, and until the taste of mooncakes was finally engraved in his memory.

This is Li Yu'an's first Mid-Autumn Festival.

In late September, in addition to being bombarded with homework and weekly exams every day, Yang Siyuan had two more activities at school—asking Fan’s mother when she would come back, and ordering a cup of milk tea at lunch time.

The big pot of rice in the cafeteria is either out of birds or salt out of eggs, and it is extremely difficult to squeeze. For Yang Siyuan, life is like death. No wonder he misses the two lunches on the previous weekend so much.

That's called rice!he thought bitterly.

As for milk tea...

He ordered takeaway for two weeks, but he didn't see Li Yuan once.

In fact, he didn't have to give it to him. I called it milk tea because I wanted to take care of the business. What if Li Yu'an could make more money because of it?

That's right, that's it.

...Come on, you just want to see Li Yuan.

Yang Siyuan was lying on the table again, poking a ballpoint pen, brainwashing his brain for a new day of failure.

He wanted to see Li Yu'an, he couldn't lie.

Trying to turn his attention, he poked Fan Li who was finishing the papers in front of him: "Fan Li, it's almost October, and your mother hasn't come back yet?"

Fan Li paused for a second, then turned around and said, "I don't know...she hasn't told me recently."

As soon as there was no result, Yang Siyuan wilted like a frost-beaten eggplant again.

However, Fan Li came over and hooked his fingers at him.

"?" Yang Siyuan poked his head.

"I think... my mother should be the one to mess with."

"?!" Yang Siyuan's eyes widened suddenly, and his mouth also made the same movement.

"Shh-"

While talking, Fan Li directly covered his mouth, and Yang Siyuan let out a series of whining sounds.

"I'm not yelling! You, how did you find out?" Yang Siyuan pushed her hand away with difficulty and asked in a suppressed voice.

"intuition."

"...a woman's?"

"roll!"

He doesn't know if Fan Li's mother has ushered in spring again, he only knows that his lunch is missing, and he made a few cups of milk tea with others awkwardly, and then went to gnaw on the problem.

One autumn rain and one cold, the temperature dropped sharply after a few light rains, even with the sun hanging, there was an unstoppable cool breeze.

Yang Siyuan entrusted Fan Li to help with cooking, wrapped up his school uniform and trotted towards the school gate.

In the dense crowd, the light blue uniform loomed, shuttling among the various clothes.

"Li Yuan?"

Looking at the figure from a distance, Yang Siyuan frowned and said to himself.

He was still a long way from the gate, and the students around him walked quickly, occasionally blocking his eyes, and he had to tilt his head to look forward.

His footsteps slowed suddenly, and he stared at the man who had been pushed around and finally moved to the retractable door.

Black frame, pale face, frowning.

The heartbeat revived suddenly, and even Yang Siyuan himself didn't understand why.

Even if they can't see each other during the day, they still walk and chat together at night, and they don't feel strange.But today I just saw him earlier, what is there to be excited about?

He ran forward at a high speed, shouted "excuse me" a few times, and rushed to the person.

"You put together five cups of milk tea." The person outside the door handed the heavy plastic bag to the person inside.

The earlier injury had completely healed, and there was no scar on his forehead. The pushing and pushing of the crowd and his own anxiety made him sweat a little.

Yang Siyuan raised his hand to pick it up, but his eyes fell on Li Yuan's head.

Li Yu'an's hair has grown a lot, with a bang falling down.

Then he suddenly realized that he hadn't seen him during the day for a long time.

"Yeah." His throat was choked, and he responded.

Li Yu'an nodded. An aunt next to him made him sway, and he hurriedly supported the retractable door to stabilize his body.

Subconsciously, Yang Siyuan reached out to help him, and grabbed his wrist through the gap of the retractable door, and then a burst of coldness pierced the skin along the palm of his hand.

"..."

"...Uh, so what, do you have a National Day holiday?" He retracted his hand seemingly unintentionally, and asked with his back behind his back.

Li Yu'an glanced at it from the corner of his eye, put his hands in his trouser pockets, and shook his head.

"Oh……"

"Go back quickly, it's too late." Li Yu'an urged, and turned to leave without waiting for Yang Siyuan's answer.

In the corner where the light cannot reach, Yang Siyuan clenched the hand behind his back tightly.

When sending Li Yu'an home at night, Yang Siyuan casually reminded him that his hair had grown, and Li Yu'an just nodded and said he would cut it when he had time.But he was busy from morning to night, and he had no holidays, so he probably didn't have much free time.A bold idea crossed Yang Siyuan's mind, and he couldn't help laughing.

"Why are you always laughing for no reason?" Li Yu'an also chuckled, tilting his head and asking.

"Ah, nothing."

The moon is sixteen round on the fifteenth day, and the moonlight is still good a few days after the Mid-Autumn Festival. The poor existence of the lingering street lamps in the dark night is expelled without a trace, and the cold white moonlight and dim light are intertwined. Together, covering Li Yuan's face.

When Yang Siyuan spoke, he turned his head to look at him, looking for the other's pupils naturally, but his sight was blocked by a strand of hair blocking his eyes.

"Look, your hair is too long..."

He stretched out his hand to dial, but before his fingers reached halfway, they stopped suddenly.

He saw Li Yu'an hiding for a while, and even panicked.

"...Quickly cut it!"

With his fingers slightly curled up, he hastily withdrew his hand and laughed in a joking tone.

"..." Li Yu'an seemed to feel his gaffe just now, he lowered his head, and frantically brushed that disheveled strand of hair.

This road seems to be getting longer and longer, and the moon is not in a hurry to set, brightly splitting the embarrassment and delicate atmosphere between the two of them in the bright light.

Yang Siyuan chatted symbolically again, and asked Li Yu'an about his plans for the National Day, only to find out that Li Yu'an really didn't have a half-day holiday.He changed his mind, maybe it was because others would ask for leave, maybe Li Yuan could get overtime pay.

Just as he was hesitating whether to tell him the flash of thought just now, a few dogs barking came from ahead.

Only then did Yang Siyuan notice that the two of them were almost at the door of the house.

"Hey, your puppy came out to meet you." Yang Siyuan liked the puppy and said with a smile.

"...can you put it another way? You're talking like I'm a dog."

"But your puppy doesn't have a name?"

"..."

With an idea, Yang Siyuan stretched out a finger and said excitedly, "How about I make one?"

"..."

After finishing speaking, he began to think in a dignified way: "What kind of Baozi Wangcai is too popular... It has no characteristics at all... Wait a minute, let me see what characteristics you have as a puppy..."

The little dog didn't know that he was being registered, and when Yang Siyuan stretched out his finger, he thought he was about to throw away food, so he hurriedly wagged his tail and jumped back and forth.

Yang Siyuan observed it, and patted his head: "Ah! It's very cheerful, it likes to jump, so let's call it Bounce! Come, come, little Bounce..."

"..." Li Yu'an looked at the scene of a person and a dog jumping and making noise in front of him, as if recognizing his relatives, he let out a long sigh, and then laughed silently.

Boom...that's pretty cute.

But the person who came up with a cute name didn't care, because after he finished naming the dog, he had to continue to work hard like a dog.

Make it through Wednesday, it's Sunday.

The National Day in 2008 happened to be on a Wednesday, and No. [-] Middle School, which was older than the motherland, gave the senior year a five-day holiday for the first time in history, which happened to include the weekend.

The sudden surprise shocked Yang Siyuan at a loss, and his nerves were crushed by learning, so he couldn't organize a holiday arrangement properly.

When he was thinking about what else to spend time besides doing homework, Yang Siyuan suddenly received a message from Qin Ziliang.

"Grandpa is back! Prepare food and wine and wait for my favor!"

Yang Siyuan's eyes lit up, and he hurriedly typed: "You're back?!"

"That's right, I left last night, and I'll arrive this afternoon. Oh, it's really hard to sleep on the train."

"It's so far away, the train will take a day, right? When will it arrive? Shall I pick you up?"

"No, no, I'm so tired. My mother came to pick me up. I'll find you when I get back!"

"Okay, take a good rest when you come back."

After exchanging a few more pleasantries, Yang Siyuan put down his phone, and immediately felt that the whole vacation had been enriched a lot—when Qin Ziliang came back, the two of them would have a lot to play with.

When his mood cleared up, he began to plan his vacation arrangements.

At this moment, Qin Ziliang sent another message.

"Come on, I just went to instant noodles and saw a pair of men! Hey hey!"

Yang Siyuan was taken aback, his fingers stopped on the keyboard, and he paused for a long time before typing a few words: "Hahaha, let's get excited."

The two were so familiar, he could even imagine Qin Ziliang's expression and movements when he said this.

Disgust, nausea, trembling, goosebumps all over.

They have been getting along since childhood, and although this kind of issue has never been discussed on the stage, Yang Siyuan can also faintly feel Qin Ziliang's disgust towards this kind of thing.

He didn't care about it, after all, it had nothing to do with him.But at this moment, he was inexplicably uncomfortable.

Putting down his phone and shaking his head, he just thought he was lost, without thinking about it, he went straight to the kitchen to bake bread.

Qin Ziliang came back on the afternoon of October [-]st. He slept on the train for ten hours and was in good spirits. That night, he clamored to pull Yang Siyuan out to play skewers.

It's already October, and the smoke on the barbecue street is still very prosperous, entangled with the aroma and chasing the wind together.

Qin Ziliang took a sip of beer, hiccupped, squatted the big cup on the table with a "boom", and said, "Let me tell you! University is much more interesting..."

Yang Siyuan peeled edamame, drank a couple of sips of beer occasionally, blinked his eyes and listened to Qin Ziliang's talk about new things about the university.

"There are people from all over the world... Hey, do you know that the tofu nao over there is so fucking sweet! Oops, I almost spit it out..."

Qin Ziliang was probably a little drunk, his face flushed slightly, and he gestured excitedly.

The man couldn't hold back as soon as he opened his mouth, Yang Siyuan simply didn't interrupt, just focused on listening, making him happy.

"Hey southern girls are really small, shy, small, well-behaved..."

I don't know when the topic turned to this, Yang Siyuan saw Qin Ziliang's eyes dimmed a little bit until his eyes were empty.

"...I haven't forgotten about Xiao Fan."

Shouts came and went, the beer bubbles sizzled, the charcoal fire crackled, and the sound in the distance hit people's heartbeat one after another.

In the hustle and bustle, Qin Ziliang's voice was out of place and lonely.

The movements of Yang Siyuan's hands also slowly stopped, and he wanted to persuade him but he didn't have the right words.

"Xiaofan...has been doing pretty well lately..." After a long time, he said without any hesitation.

When you like someone, you want him to live well, right?he thought so.

Qin Ziliang was taken aback for a moment, then shook his head and smiled mockingly: "We all know how she is doing, right... A person who is alone, how can she live well."

Fan Li's mother does not have a long-term fixed job, and often goes out to work, so Fan Li has been able to live alone since she was very young.When they were young, they all envied Fan Li for not being supervised by adults, and only when they grew up did they realize how ridiculous they were back then.

Of course Yang Siyuan knew about Fan Li, but he thought of another person from Qin Ziliang's words.

Thoughts wandered with the autumn wind, passing through the dimly lit street, stepping on the uneven gravel road, and finally stopped in front of a mottled iron gate.

The iron door was pushed open with a creak, and a boy with a cold expression was holding a sausage, squatting on the ground and silently looking at the puppy in front of him.

……

Why does he keep a dog?

How sad it is for him to be alone.

"Let's not talk about her... Hey, let me tell you next, I participated in a volunteer activity last week..."

Qin Ziliang didn't want to mention Fan Li any more, and went back to chatting about those university trivial matters.

Withdrawing his thoughts, Yang Siyuan smiled politely, listened absent-mindedly, and drank the last sip of beer. Along with the alcohol, there was also the unspoken decision that month.

The next day, Qin Ziliang was dragged to dinner by his relatives, and Yang Siyuan honestly did his homework at home for a whole day.Probably to make his evening activities feel at ease, he wrote very seriously, but in fact he was still a little distracted.

Looking up, the pointer has already pointed to seven o'clock.

As dusk sinks, October in the north ushers in the predecessor of night early, and thousands of lights are lit up one by one, trying to warm the cold autumn night.

Yang Siyuan closed his notebook with a "snap", picked up the bulging plastic bag that had been lying on the table all afternoon, and went out without eating.

Yang Siyuan's guess was right. During the National Day holiday, the milk tea shop was indeed not full of staff, and Li Yu'an was the only one left after ordering too many.

It seems that every time I come, he is the only one there?Yang Siyuan touched his nose, thinking that it must be the fate bestowed by God.

He walked forward with the plastic bag behind his back, Li Yuan only raised his eyelids a little and found the dangling thing, and asked casually, "What are you holding?"

"I won't tell you." Yang Siyuan stuck out his tongue and put the plastic bag on the stool beside him.

He has a gentle outline, and his face looks a little younger, with a strong youthful air, and he sticks out his tongue like a naughty hungry child.

Li Yu'an chuckled and handed over a cup of milk tea.

He smiled more and more naturally, and Yang Siyuan's heart felt hot when he saw it, and he took a sip of the milk tea.

Less sugar, not as greasy as before.

He tasted the taste, and the corners of his mouth turned up unconsciously.

"I have a lot of work today...you sit here for a while." Li Yu'an said.

Yang Siyuan nodded obediently, and obediently lay on the table to watch Li Yuan busy back and forth.

Busy work and all kinds of pressure swallowed Li Yu'an. Compared to when the two first met, he seemed to have lost a lot of weight.He wore a long-sleeved base layer under his short-sleeved uniform, and the white sleeves were rolled up again, exposing the veins on his arms.As soon as the wind blows, the clothes sway, empty, outline the shoulder blades, but look even thinner.

really thin...

How can I be so thin...

The exhaustion of the day was fabricated in the silence at this moment, rubbing Yang Siyuan's nerves, his eyesight gradually became loose, his head tilted, and he fell into a deep sleep.

There was also a blue figure in the dream. He looked forward, but saw a body covered with scars under the clothes... In the haze, it seemed that someone was calling his name...

"Yang Siyuan?"

The voice gradually became clear, phantoms stacked together, Yang Siyuan woke up frowning, but the bruised body was still lingering in his mind.

"Ah, it's time to get off work, let's go then?" He collected himself and picked up the plastic bag.

On the way, Li Yu'an glanced at the mysterious bag from time to time, as if worried about something, and finally couldn't help but ask, "What the hell are you carrying?"

Yang Siyuan smiled: "Don't worry, it's not Chen Miao's! You'll know later."

"..." Upon hearing that it was not from Chen Miao, Li Yu'an didn't ask any more questions.

Until Yang Siyuan followed him into the house, and solemnly took out an electric clipper and an apron from his bag.

"..." Li Yuan froze in place.

"Sit down, sit down." Yang Siyuan moved the stool and put it directly under the light bulb, beckoning to him: "My mother shaved me before, and I shaved Lao Qin, don't worry, it won't be damaged!"

"..." Li Yu'an didn't seem to have reacted yet, but was pulled by Yang Siyuan and pressed down.

The apron was shaken off and tied around his neck. He heard Yang Siyuan fiddle with it for a while, and then there was a buzzing sound.

"Come on! Watch me turn decay into magic..."

The light bulb was not that bright, and there was no mirror in front of him, so Li Yu'an had to use his sense of touch to feel the movements of the descendants.

The man pressed his scalp lightly with his left hand, and then the hair on the right side was carefully pushed by the hair clipper...

The crunching sound of broken hair came to his ears densely, like a swarm of ants crawling across his heart, causing an unbearable numbness.

Suddenly, he heard another almost undetectable voice.

"...you didn't eat."

"do not move!"

"...You should have some food first."

"Oh, I told you not to move!"

"..."

The night is getting darker, the temperature is dropping slowly, the old hut is buzzing, and the floating dust is dancing with hair crumbs under the light. It seems that a warm yellow world has been opened up in the small space.

Yang Siyuan moved back and forth earnestly behind him, breathing in his ears from time to time, and his body occasionally passed over his head to cover the light, casting a shadow from which there was nowhere to escape.

Li Yu'an didn't move, but there was already a tide in his heart, filled with uneasiness, anxiety, humbleness, and self-loathing, rushing towards the bottomless abyss in the distance.

But he couldn't say anything.