flammable relationship

"——Zhi Yiheng."

The first line at the beginning of "Love Letter" is just three words.This word follows the owner, it has nothing to do with roundness and elegance. It has sharp edges and corners, fierce and arrogant, and stands there coldly as if it has given birth to its own bones. With every stroke and stroke, the pen is as sharp as a dagger, directly piercing people's hearts.

But when these words are combined, what is written is very gentle words.

"Good morning, my teacher Fu." He said, "You can't see me when you wake up, don't panic, don't cry, I'll be right back."

Fu Yiheng slandered: I believe you are a ghost.

"Don't scold me, listen to me." That person seems to have the ability to read minds, "I have thought about it a lot, and I have thought about it for too long, and the final choice is exactly the same as four years ago, to avoid you and go to other places to build myself .In this way, I really haven't made much progress, and I always leave you alone. But I can't help it.

Many people say that in love, you have me in you, and you in me, and you have to bear the storms and waves together, and you have to bear the hardships together. Only in this way are soul mates——I don’t agree with this statement.

My love is not like this, I don't want you to suffer a little storm, I don't want you to suffer a little suffering, if you cry in front of me, then my love will be worthless.It hurts me more than knowing I'm crazy enough.

I just wish I could find a place to hide and take it all on my own.This is also my problem, there is really no need to drag you into the muddy water.

To put it bluntly, there is actually a big selfishness in leaving—I am afraid that I will become embarrassed in front of you.

The side effects of antipsychotic drugs are unimaginable. During the period of taking the drug, it will cut off all your senses domineeringly, and you will not feel happiness, pain, love, or loneliness.Insomnia is no longer a problem, the problem is that I can't wake up no matter what, I can sleep eighteen hours a day, and even when I wake up, I don't know what to do.Because the brain is blocked, I can't think, so I can't miss you, I can't command my hands and feet, so I can't hug you.When I'm a walking corpse with empty eyes, without my ridiculous but darlingly precious dignity, I won't be me anymore.

It was a real embarrassment, completely different from the kind of pity that you deliberately pretended to win your sympathy in the past, and it was even more unbearable than seeing my broken family in Pingyang.And when you see me so embarrassed, vulnerable and indifferent, how would you feel—I'm afraid it's more sad than me?

Instead of being tied together and suffering, it is better to stick to each other separately.

Please fulfill my selfishness, and please believe me one last time, this is just a short separation.Before I come back, take good care of yourself, eat when you should eat, and sleep when you should sleep. Smoking is not a good thing. You must quit before you become addicted. Sugar is not a good thing. If you love beauty, Mr. Fu, if you don’t want to see yourself aging faster, start now , also have to try to quit sugar.

You can do it, right?I know we can all do it.

Finally, this is a love letter, how could those three words be missing?I love you, I love you, Fu Yiheng, I love you like life.Don't cry, people can see it, it's not decent to have red eyes.

——Wei Ran. "

The field of vision was obscured by the dense water vapor, and the tears fell drop by drop on the shaking paper, making the page mottled, the handwriting gradually blurred, the ink smudged, and the words were surrounded by a ring of exploded burrs.

Damn liar.To put it nicely, you love the life of a fart.

My heart, liver and heart are hurting, and I don’t know if it’s because of anger, or if I deserve it after being in love. This whole set of unsatisfactory things seems to be thrown into a rumbling meat grinder, and the meat is stirred up. , fragmented.

Fu Yiheng was trembling everywhere, he wiped his face, the masseter muscles on both sides of his cheeks were bulging hard, holding the letter, he opened his eyes as wide as he could.After sitting for a long time, until his eyes were sore and his muscles were stiff, he curled up his fingers unbearably, raised his eyebrows, lay down, bowed his waist and legs, curled up into a ball, and covered himself with a quilt.

Under the quilt, he casually grabbed the sheet under him, stuffed it roughly into his mouth, clenched his teeth, and whimpered with ruthlessness.

That way no one could hear him crying like a dog.

Outside of this room, he was still a decent man.

When you come, you are a couple, when you go, you are alone.

After Zhang Xu attended the wedding, he went back to China to visit his parents. Entrusted by Zhou Aohuarao, he insisted on going with Fu Yiheng.

"Do you think I look like a person who is in a relationship and encounters a little setback, crying and desperately looking for life?" After getting off the plane, Fu Yiheng pushed the luggage and wore sunglasses, rejecting Zhang Xu's unreasonable desire to continue taking him home by taxi Asked, "There are people in their thirties, where do you get so much emotion? Besides—I'm not widowed, and I'm not broken up. I'm just separated for a while. What are you worrying about?"

"I don't worry about it." Zhang Xu changed into a tie with indigo blue background and red polka dots today. Aren't you afraid of falling again once you go out?"

Fu Yiheng's expression was a bit unnatural, but fortunately, a pair of oversized sunglasses blocked it, so no one else could see it.He pursed his lips, stopped struggling, and returned home under Zhang Xu's semi-supervisory escort. During this period, he was forced to accept a psychological counseling session from a professional consultant without asking for money.

After returning home, life was taken care of, preparing lessons for class, correcting homework and answering questions, except for going to work earlier and later, getting off work later and later, Wan Wan lacked care and was sent to his parents' house, Zhou Ao came back from his honeymoon and took him out to drink and drink more. Be diligent, the neighbor’s house next door is empty, there are more and more professional books on psychology on the bookcase, and the newly collected psychology websites in the notebook browser are emerging one after another... It seems to be the same.

He didn't take the initiative to contact Wei Ran.

The same goes for Wei Ran.

It seemed that the two had discussed it long ago.

Three months later, Wei Xi called and said that Wei Ran was doing well in the most advanced nursing home abroad, his mood was stable, and his hallucinations did not reappear after taking the medicine, but he hadn't noticed the tendency of self-harm in his subconscious, and he was responsible for it. The sense of guilt still exists, and further hospitalization is required for observation.

"En." Fu Yiheng nodded, his tone a bit cold.

At the end of the call, Wei Xi said: "Mr. Fu, my brother woke up yesterday, and the first thing he said was that he misses you very much. He seldom speaks now. The doctor said that the medicine suppressed part of the impulse to express. I I think he really misses you, the kind that will suffocate you if you don’t say it.”

Fu Yiheng had endured very well before this, but after hearing this, he couldn't help it suddenly, and his voice was unsteady: "Wait a minute, I'll send you a photo of me, someday he will miss me, you Just show it to him."

"Huh? Don't you know?" Wei Xi on the other end of the phone was very surprised, "Wei Ran has a lot of photos of you. Every day when it's visiting time, I will hold my phone and show him over and over again. , like patrolling the mountains and rivers, refusing to miss any of them."

"Really?" Fu Yiheng was full of soreness, "I really don't know."

When were they all filmed?How did he never find out?

"Ah, it turned out to be a sneak shot." Wei Xi deliberately acted briskly, and always added some fussy tone of voice, "Wait, I'll show you a few pictures, among other things, the photography skills are really good."

Fu Yiheng then hung up the phone, and after a few seconds, WeChat ding ding ding rang chaotically, and there was an endless trend.

Listening to the movement, the few pictures that the girl said may be hundreds of pictures.

After class, his mouth was dry, Fu Yiheng turned around and poured a cup of tea, and waited for the notification sound to stop before picking up the phone again.When I clicked on the first one, my hand trembled, and I almost lost the cup.

That was when he was in class, four years ago.

In the photo, he is wearing glasses with his sleeves rolled up, and he is playing with a yellow chalk that he used to draw auxiliary lines in his hand. He leans over and smiles calmly, and raises an index finger, which seems to be emphasizing some required knowledge points .Fu Yiheng never knew that standing on the podium, there was light in his eyes, and his whole body exuded confidence and vitality from the inside out.This may also be attributed to the people who take pictures are good at capturing flash points.

There are many pictures in the future, all of which are from the same perspective.

The co-author of this classmate Wei didn't listen to the lectures during school, so he just hid in the corner and secretly took pictures of the teacher every day!

Fu Yiheng laughed angrily and shook his head.

Later, the camera turned from the front to the back.It was the time Wei Ran secretly recorded when he returned to school as a teacher.In many photos, there is just a back view, the back view of Fu Yiheng sitting upright in a meeting, the back view of standing during morning exercises, the back view of walking on the campus road, and occasionally a profile shot, but also with a cold face and frowning, expressionless.

Oh, it turned out that he was so indifferent back then.

What was Wei Ran's mood when he took these photos?If he can't be forgiven for the rest of his life, will he just spend his whole life guarding these cold photos?

Some things cannot be thought deeply about.

Fu Yiheng suddenly felt a little regretful, he should have treated Wei Ran better.

At the end of the row, those few photos became more lively, obviously they were taken after we were together.Without exception, Fu Yiheng's sleeping face was magnified at a close distance, lying on his back, half of his face covered by a quilt, his mouth slightly open, his hair messy, not only full of life, but also a little ugly!

"..."

Fu Yiheng's brain was divided into two halves, one half was soaking in the warm water, ups and downs, moved so much that he just wanted to cry, and the other half was crazily complaining, this secret camera maniac hid so many weird photos without my permission!It's just too much!

Wei Xi: "Hahahahahaha! I accidentally posted too much! Mr. Fu, you look so cute while sleeping!"

Fu Yiheng was very indifferent: "I'll give you time to withdraw."

Wei Xi: "No, the withdrawal time has passed (grievance.jpg) So, to make up for it, let me take some photos of my brother for you?"

Fu Yiheng thought: "Deal."

Wei Xi then sent a recent photo of Wei Ran.

In the photo, the sky is blue and white clouds, the sun is just right, Wei Ran is sitting obediently on a bench in the lawn, wearing a hospital gown in a nursing home, with a dull expression, squinting his eyes and wondering what he is looking at.

Fu Yiheng's fingers slowly stroked Wei Ran's side face on the screen, thinking, um, this is my man, so handsome.

The hair seems to grow a little longer, covering the eyebrows.He is unshaven and looks a little untidy.The legs are too long. When sitting, the trousers of the hospital gown shrink to the calf. I don't know if the city is cold. Will I catch a cold?Hey, handsome boy, what are you looking at so seriously?When are you coming back?Fu Yiheng especially wanted to ask.

But it doesn't make much sense to ask, because no one can answer it.

"He won't let me shave him." Wei Xi said, "I thought I was clumsy, so he said he would save up and let you shave him."

"Okay." Fu Yiheng sent a voice and said with a smile, "I'll wait for him to come back."

Wei Xi: "By the way, do you know what he is looking at? He stares at the sky like this every day."

Fu Yiheng paused, his lips trembling a little: "He is looking at the sun."

He once said, I am the sunshine in his world.

The author has something to say: I cried when I wrote it.

Thanks to the little angels who voted for me~

Thanks to the little angels who voted [mine]: Zhong Jin 2, Sake 1, ASKY 1

Thanks to the little angels for irrigating me with nutrient solution~

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：阿空3486798718瓶、陈酒10瓶、小渔10瓶、爱喝茶的懒蛋10瓶、ASKY?7瓶、束南靖1瓶、韵笑1瓶

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