What kind of experience is it for Shanghainese to drift north?

When Fu Pingqiu took off the full condom and silently went to the bathroom to take a shower, I finally heard my heartbeat—it was astonishing, and it never stopped. I couldn’t help but smile wryly. consumed by oneself.

I may have to wash it later... Now I am weak all over, my back is numb to the point of unconsciousness, lying on my stomach, I reach for the drawer of the bedside table by instinct, and I barely reach it, and pull it out from inside. A new unopened pack of cigarettes.

This is my cigarette.It was put in by me when I came to his room last time, only I can smoke, I have never seen Fu Pingqiu smoke.So there shouldn't be any lighters here... I flicked through it a couple of times without giving up, and accidentally touched a metal object with my fingertips. When I took it out, it turned out to be a lighter.

A man who has a lighter but doesn't smoke is really strange.

I can't control that much, and numb my pain nerves in the contented puffing... But before I could take two puffs, another person walked into the room.Fu Pingqiu snatched the cigarette from my hand condescendingly, instead of throwing it away...but put it in his mouth and took a puff.

Under the shroud of thin smoke, the man's handsome brows had a layer of forbearance, and a hostility that couldn't be concealed by the gentle appearance.

"I... thought you didn't smoke." I said in a daze.This is the first time I saw him smoking.

"Well, I don't smoke. There are some things I know are not good but I still want to do it... Sorry." He frowned, took only one puff and didn't continue, throwing the cigarette butt away. "You also try not to smoke, it hurts your lungs."

What does he have to apologize to me... In fact, it's not that I don't know that smoking is bad. I coughed and said that if my partner asks me about it in the future, I will try my best to change it.

"..." Fu Pingqiu sighed, and looked down at me, "Last time you asked me if I would consider finding a boyfriend in the exam, now it's my turn to ask you... Would you consider finding a boyfriend?"

"I..." He opened his mouth, but the words of refusal were stuck in his throat and he couldn't speak.

"It doesn't matter if it's me or not, but you need to admit... Zhang Kedou, you are not straight." He said heavily.

After a moment of silence, I said, "But I don't want to be gay, what should I do?"

I'm honest, I don't want to admit it...why me?Why can't I be the same as other successful people, sit on a white and rich beauty, become a CEO, and reach the pinnacle of life... I can't imagine any scene of coming out with my family, or my brain will explode.

"What are you afraid of?" He touched my cheek gently with his hand, "Are you being discriminated against?" The tone of the previous sentence was still gentle, but the next moment his tone suddenly turned cold, "Look, isn't this what you say every day? something you're doing?"

My heart tightened suddenly, as if being poured from head to toe by a basin of ice water.

He was right...it was all my fault.I was surprised that Fu Pingqiu had such deep thoughts, so deep that he could see through my despicable background.

Fu Pingqiu looked away from me and turned to make coffee.Just as I was about to apologize for the unknown number of times, I heard the man suddenly chuckle—not a sneer, but a very warm and deep voice, and I couldn't help secretly heaving a sigh of relief.It's great that he wasn't angry.

"Don't be nervous, I was joking just now. So, do you feel the pain of being discriminated against now?" He said lightly.

"Uh... I was wrong." I nodded in embarrassment.

"... tadpole," he sat down next to me again, and said with his arms around my shoulders, "I know it's hard to change people's prejudices, and I'm no exception. It's almost as impossible to quit as a person is born... ...So as long as you can do not hurt others, whether it is in words or actions, you are still a good person. And I am not someone like you, don't worry, I will not force you to do anything."

"Also," he paused, and then said in a persuasive way, "Nowadays, groups of different sexual orientations are becoming more and more tolerant in China. Rather than worrying about being discriminated against, it is better to be careful not to get sick. This kind of thing, of course Your own happiness is the most important... so, think about it, huh?"

Fu Pingqiu gently rubbed my messy hair, and suddenly noticed that I had been lying on my stomach without moving. He leaned over and asked me with a guilty face: "Does it still hurt? It's because I did it wrong." He gave a wry smile and took the initiative to explain Said, "Sorry, things are not going well at work, plus... I thought you were going to spend the night with someone else today."

"No...it's okay." I turned over, resisting the pain in my body, and fled from the other's gentle palm.

The weather in February in the north is always foggy.

There was heavy snow in the sky, and Beihai Park was frozen. The scenery covered in silver was like an indifferent and self-sufficient lady.Walking for an hour and a half by the Kunming Lake, you may be lucky enough to find a lone plum in a bare tree branch, exuding the fragrance that no one cares about.

The ending with Yu Ruoxuan was easier than I imagined, and it went unbelievably smooth.It may be that I have only been with her for a month, and I haven't had a deep relationship with her. All I can do is delete the circle of friends related to the relationship.She didn't even block me.

"I see, goodbye." This is Yu Ruoxuan's last reply to me. Her last Moments about me is a photo. The Fairy Tale" German original poem of origami.

I'm very sorry for her, and at the same time I'm glad that I stopped in time.Unlike Ke Xue, Yu Ruoxuan is a good girl, I hope she can find her own prince one day.

As the New Year approaches, this is probably the last piece of plain color in the capital.It won't be long before the streets will take on a red-hot look, in order to resist the biting cold and the exhaustion of the whole year.

Every year when I go home during the Chinese New Year, it is inevitable to be surrounded by seven aunts and eight aunts. When I hear my ears callused, I can't help but retreat when I think about it, and throw my longing for my hometown far away.In the life-threatening "Are you happy?", "Tell me to go on a blind date for your love?", I finally survived the three days before the Spring Festival, and flew back to Beijing early as if I was avoiding debts.

Fu Pingqiu also went back to his home for the New Year, and his family lived in Wuhuan.I told him that I would come back early, threw the suitcase away and buried my head in a "jet-lagged" sleep, and received a call from Fu Pingqiu when I was half asleep and half awake.

Fu Pingqiu said to me in a good mood, why don't you go to his house while he is still on vacation? His parents also want to see me.

This, this, this... my sleepiness disappeared, and I stuttered, what capacity should I go to his house?

I heard him chuckle on the other end, and he told his parents that I was his roommate and also his friend.Just friends, he emphasized.

I cautiously asked him, have you come out with your family?

He hummed, "My parents know, but don't worry, they won't think about it casually."

I learned that Fu Pingqiu's parents were quite open-minded in this regard, and they didn't deliberately hinder his emotional path.But if I really go to his house, in case his parents have any opinions on me... No, no, no, what am I thinking, didn't I say "ordinary friends"?

But I know in my heart that I have already slept with him, and our relationship cannot be called "ordinary" anyway...

The author has something to say: Chaos is kind, Fu, don’t worry, as long as you are lawful, you are not evil (laughs).

Lawful and Evil Zhang, I understand the truth, so does stealing books count as stealing?

Chaotic Good Fu,... of course (you are challenging my bottom line)