And light and dust

There was no reason for him to leave the café that afternoon.

What was difficult for him to speak up was not that experience or his own illness, but because he didn't want to break the balance in the relationship between the two of them.For him, he still can't figure out the weight of the matter, how should he communicate with the master?

07

In the past, no matter how much Wang Chen spent on Ji Chuanheng's treatment, it had little effect. It was because of Ji Chuanheng's apparent lack of cooperation.But the underlying reason he didn't know was that Ji Chuanheng believed for a long time that his mental illness did not bring any trouble to his life.

In the past, when the physiological stress response was not very obvious, he used sedative drugs to get rid of it. It was Ji Chuanheng's teacher Chen Boyan who noticed his problem and forcibly found someone to arrange psychological counseling for him.

Chen Boyan has continued to provide Ji Chuanheng with a lot of help in life and career since he graduated from a master's degree for so many years. Ji Chuanheng thought of his teacher's goodness and couldn't refuse, so he obediently went.He doesn't object to describing those experiences, because in his mind those are things that have passed.His resentment towards his original family has already been dissipated in the long-term repetitive numb and meaningless life and the meager child support.

When he became an adult, he chose law as his career direction because those thick codes opened up his once dark life and let light into it.He is immersed in the unique charm of law: to standardize the free world, to find standards for all behaviors, to research and demonstrate with a questioning spirit, and to look at things clearly.This was a very important choice in Ji Chuanheng's life, which determined his life direction and gave him a way out of the past.

Wang Chen is an excellent psychiatrist, and he found that Ji Chuanheng would not forcibly intervene in his emotions even if he was perfunctory.But later, when Ji Chuanheng was stimulated by his more extreme physical reaction, he realized that sometimes he just grasped more of the things he let go of through psychological hints.

Ji Chuanheng just hopes that his life will become more stable, he doesn't care about happiness and other things.Whether it was seeking help from Wang Chen or contacting He Cheng later, it was all for this purpose.

I don't know how to speak, how much to say, whether to be a friend or a slave?If you tell He Cheng that he thinks that in order to maintain their pure master-slave relationship, it is better not to mix these too intimate and complicated things.Frankly speaking, the functions of He Cheng and Wang Chen are both "curing diseases".But isn't that too ruthless and selfish?

It's a lie to say that he doesn't feel the care in He Cheng's life. Although he has never been in a relationship, he is not so dull that he can't understand people's words.But at the beginning, he really established a master-slave relationship with He Cheng to satisfy his own sense of security and selfish desires, and now it's just the beginning, but it's too selfish to even speak the blunt truth.

Seeing Ji Chuanheng's expression was really conflicted, He Cheng had no choice but to persuade him that it's okay if he doesn't want to say anything.Here's the problem, he doesn't want to hide anything from He Cheng, if the other party uses his identity as the master to force him to explain clearly, he won't have such a big burden, but it seems that he wants to use these reasons to put pressure on He Cheng so that the other party can't abandon him easily.For whatever reason, he couldn't speak.

He Cheng really couldn't feel the twists and turns in Ji Chuanheng's heart from the few words he learned.What he analyzed was that Ji Chuanheng had some negative plots and emotions that he didn't want to face, which he couldn't resolve.

"I'm also curious because I'm afraid of doing something inappropriate to hurt you. If you are really worried..."

"Go back to your house, I will tell you slowly."

He Cheng was ready to come to the door with a knife and threaten Wang Chen to reveal the patient's privacy. Fortunately, Ji Chuanheng stopped him from going on the road of crime in time.

"Actually, the story is quite old-fashioned. When I was born, my mother died of dystocia. I only knew her name after reading my birth certificate after I learned to read. She also gave me my name."

After hearing the first sentence, He Cheng regretted it. No matter how withdrawn the person's tone was, he believed that these things should not be mentioned again and again by the person involved.He Cheng looked at Ji Chuanheng's calm expression, wondering how many times he had said the same thing to others.

"Not long after my mother died, my father married another wife in order to find someone to take care of me. Fortunately, he didn't look at me more and more hate to strangle me. I look like my mother, he probably because I can’t do this, but that woman always wanted me to die. As long as I can remember, she has been avoiding my dad, beating and scolding me, targeting my mother, or calling me worthless. Fortunately, when I was a child If you don’t understand those words, you won’t remember much.”

"When I was older, she stopped beating me. Maybe she was afraid that I would fight back. After I was about ten years old, the scolding continued. I told my dad a few times, but he didn't believe it anyway, so let it go. I left school So I don’t like to go home very much, and I go to the bookstore in front of the school to read books and read civil law cases.

"My dad did his best to support him. He didn't starve me and read all the books. There were no permanent scars, so there was no evidence of domestic violence. I never went home after the exam. That's probably it. thing."

"My disease is called skin hunger and thirst, that is... I really want to be touched by the skin, and I instinctively resist intimate contact. What you encountered that time was the most serious physical reaction I had, and I have never had it before." Said Only here did Ji Chuanheng's tone fluctuate a bit, and his face turned slightly red.In the previous period, he seemed to be reciting some other people's stories he had read in folk literature.

"Sm's words... I found out that I have this tendency, Dr. Wang suggested that I can get in touch with it, maybe it will be good for the disease, so I met you on the Internet..."

The colder Ji Chuanheng's tone was, the colder his heart became. These experiences were by no means as simple as what Ji Chuanheng said in a few words, otherwise he would not be left with mental illness.But Ji Chuanheng's appearance is clearly that he has thought about all the ways of revenge, as if not contacting that family is the best relief for himself.And how many ups and downs and tortures Ji Chuanheng has experienced for this is beyond He Cheng's imagination.

That's right, Ji Chuanheng is a more mature and excellent lawyer than him, and he also knows better than him how to solve this kind of legacy problem.His appearance can't help Ji Chuanheng change anything, He Cheng is just a part of the other party's "treatment".

He Cheng did not have the right to know all the details of Ji Chuanheng's past experience - even Wang Chen had it.It's him who wants to make a clear distinction, and now he doesn't care how much the other party hurt when he was a child.He really wanted to drag someone in front of him and spank him, but it was too weird to do it now.

Ji Chuanheng thought that simply speaking would not make the other party worry too much, but the result didn't seem to be what he thought at all.This is the first time he saw He Cheng showing such an expression, very gloomy and disappointed, what is he disappointed about?

"Wang Chen asked you to come to me?"

"It's not like this..." Ji Chuanheng didn't expect him to understand his words in such a way. Wang Chen didn't want him to use BDSM as a cure method from the beginning to the end. When they talked about this topic, they always It's just casual, at best, it can only be regarded as encouraging friends to face their own desires.

Ji Chuanheng even blamed himself a little. He chose the profession of lawyer because of his love, but he had to go back to school because of his increasingly serious illness.It's not that he doesn't know how to explain it, he can talk about the reasons in a gaudy way, and they all understand each other's words and skills, but why bother to say that in front of He Cheng.

So Ji Chuanheng didn't continue to explain, but knelt down in front of He Cheng.

"I kneel here just because I want to be your slave."

He Cheng acted according to his heart, but he couldn't influence other people's choices. Fortunately, Ji Chuanheng didn't really say anything he didn't want to hear.

He Cheng knew that he would be wrong, so he squeezed his chin very hard, and his tone was a bit gnashing of teeth.

"In the future, if you have something to say, just say it, I'm too lazy to guess."

Ji Chuanheng gritted his teeth when he raised his head, and agreed with him with a shy smile, regardless of the illogicality of He Cheng's words, it was obviously because he thought too much and misunderstood.But Ji Chuanheng thought, the master is unwilling to admit his mistakes, so let him make room for it.

What else is there to pursue?For whatever reason, he's kneeling here, isn't he?Just bow your head and call me master, that's enough.

08

"So you fell ill that day because you were hugged by me?"

The one-seater sofa was by the window, He Cheng didn't let him get up, he just looked down at him like this, watching the sunlight cast shadows on his cheeks through the eyelashes.

"I've never had such close contact with others before...Maybe it's because of this..."

Ji Chuanheng was a little shy when he looked at him, but he didn't dare to look away.

"I was not gentle with you then."

"It's only like the master that I can recover quickly..."

He Cheng noticed that Ji Chuanheng, who had entered the training state, was more honest and cute than usual. When he only had his master in his eyes, He Cheng seemed to be able to do anything to him.Obviously, now he will blush after teasing a few words, which is completely different from the person who described his childhood experience just now.

"Then from now on, everything I do to you will be what you expect."

He Cheng was obviously satisfied with his pious expression, he raised his hand and looked at his watch, it was almost two o'clock.

"Now do something that needs to be done, and then wait for me in the tuning classroom."

After thinking about it, Ji Chuanheng thought that the only thing he should do was clean, so he obediently went up to the second floor to do his own work.

He Cheng sent a message to Wang Chen, he