pig like age

Literary works are too brainwashing, not only washing me into a loyal reader of Mai Mangmang, but also fascinating Mais so much that I can't get out of this unrequited love.

This starts with my phone call with Mais two days ago.Mais and I share the same disease, so we will inevitably feel sorry for each other.After she came back from Shenzhen, she has been extremely depressed, so I proposed to set up a study group at my home.

My mother was very happy when she heard it. Since she bought the store, she has been hanging around at home all day.She likes children, and she also likes to be lively, wishing that I could invite friends at home every day and chat with her.

Of course, Fu Chunlei also raised her hands in favor. She loves my mother's braised pork ribs the most, and she can eat a plate every time she eats it.Besides, coming to my house to live and eat for free has saved her a lot of expenses.I just asked her for advice, and within half an hour of the call, she packed herself up and rang the doorbell.

So me, Mais, Fu Chunlei, and the special assistant-my mother, formed a summer study group, and prepared to study in retreat at my home before the postgraduate entrance examination class started.

During this period, I found that there was something wrong with Mais, not to mention the lack of enthusiasm for learning, and the whole person felt boring.This is not like her usual style.

"When I liked you back then, it wasn't like this. I felt very bitter, bitter in my heart, even in my mouth." Mais exudes a decadent aura, which makes it difficult for people not to be curious.

It was the first time I heard her say that she liked me, and I was really uncomfortable, and I was a little puzzled: "Why is it bitter?"

She shook her head, "I don't know, maybe I found out about her life experience by accident. I think she is very pitiful, so I feel sorry for her."

"Ah, what's her background?"

"Doesn't she have a reader group? I used a trumpet to sneak in and become an administrator. This was told to me by another administrator in the group. I heard that her mother was diagnosed as mentally ill and ran away very early. .She was brought up by her grandfather. Later, her grandfather also died of illness, so it can be said that she has no relatives. And do you know? She has written so many epic romance novels, but she has never been in love. "

"Wait, what you said sounds so familiar to me? Isn't this the background setting of her new novel "Born to the Sun"?"

"Yes, the protagonist of this novel is herself."

"In the novel, she liked a girl when she was in college. She was in the basketball team's debating club. She was sunny and pretty. When I saw this, I wanted to ask you, did you tell her about me as a character material? ?”

"I didn't say it, maybe she just happened to have such a person in her life. She said that she is a little grass in the corner, and she likes to be illuminated by the sunny girl."

I patted her on the shoulder comfortingly: "Since I have decided to work hard and study hard, don't think about feelings for the time being."

"But I can't help myself to think about it." Mais said sadly: "Maybe I'm a jerk, I don't like what I like, and I can't let go of what I don't like." After finishing speaking, there was no deep meaning looked at me.I blushed from embarrassment: "Don't talk about me, we haven't written a single word about the two of us, so quickly turn the page and don't mention it again. You don't think it's embarrassing."

"Don't worry, I don't feel anything about you now. My heart is all tied to Maimangman alone."

"I'm relieved, but you can't always be like this, it will delay your studies." Well, I still persuade her, I'm not the same.It's just that the goddess is out of contact now, which makes me want to let go of my emotions, but I can't find a point of focus.

She nodded and began to read.But after reading only two pages, I put the book down again and said to me, "Tell me about you, doesn't the goddess like you too?"

I couldn't finish reading this book, so I simply took her out of my room, went to my sister's room, closed the door and said, "Let's have a good talk, and what should we do after the talk. Didn't you read Fu Chun's book?" Is Lei bothering us both?"

She raised her hand, with a cool face: "Hmph, nerd."

"As for me, it's more sad than you. My goddess..." I found it difficult to even say it, and my heart was blocked.

She raised her eyebrows: "Say it."

"She has a fiancé."

"Ah!" She opened her eyes wide.

I smiled wryly: "Didn't expect it? It was her best friend who played with her since she was a child and grew up. I have seen the photos."

"My God, Xiaochen!" She said incredulously, "You are completely hopeless, you have such a strong sense of right and wrong, can you do something like snatching someone's fiancée?"

"Oh, you really understand me." It's just that I can abandon right and wrong for the sake of the goddess.But is it useful?

"Then what's their relationship like?"

"We're all engaged, what can we do?"

"Not necessarily, her family is different from ordinary families like ours, maybe it's involuntary."

"Then what if I say that she is training with her fiancé this time?" I smiled wryly, but the more I laughed, the more tired I became, the uglier I looked, and I wanted to cry.

She stopped talking, and said with empathy: "The same people who have fallen in the end of the world."

The two of us were silent, neither of us knew how this unrequited love of ours would be placed.Or, simply refuse to let go.

I think Mais is braver than me. She pulled me into my sister's house on the fifth morning of the study group: "Xiaochen, I decided to give up. I worked hard, really."

"You want to give up?" I didn't expect this, but I only know that she talked to Maimangman again in the past two days.

"I'm fine with being alone, why should I be in unrequited love? Even if it's love, give yourself a time limit. When the time limit is up, just grit your teeth and let go. Who knows that there won't be a more beautiful scenery ahead? No matter how good that person is, I pity her no matter how much I want to give her happiness, but she doesn't love me, and the story ends here. I don't want to be trapped in this negative energy cycle endlessly. I still have to take exams, and I have a broader future .But look at me now. I looked in the mirror this morning and I don't even recognize me now." Mais said with red eyes.

Her eye bags were already heavy, but now they seem to be hanging under her eye sockets, which is a little scary.She should have learned from the pain for a long time before she made this decision.I was infected by her passionate emotions, and I also want to be reborn together with her!But when I thought of the beautiful and refined face of the goddess, as well as her gentle tone, I gave up this idea again.

"Xiaochen, I look away, and you should look away even more. Taking a step back, even if the goddess doesn't marry that person, would her family choose you? Did she tell you that she likes you? What did you say? Or did you do something that made you firm up your mind?"

I shook my head, weakly.

She was furious for a moment, and her eyes were completely red: "Are we so cheap? Why hang around people who don't love or cherish us! Listen to me, follow my plan, in order not to let myself regret it, give me my phone number and QQ All accounts are blocked!"

After all, I snatched my mobile phone and opened the button... I wanted to grab it, but the intimate photo of the goddess and her fiancé echoed in my mind, but I hesitated when I reached out.

"Password." She reached out and handed the phone to me.

I looked up at her, confused.She stared at me firmly: "Xiaochen, take a step back. Didn't you say that you must be outstanding? Didn't you say that you must be successful? Do you feel that you are falling into this unrequited love and consuming your energy every day? With energy and energy, what you wait for every day is disappointment, even despair, so day after day, will it allow you to go all out to get into the graduate school and increase your success?"

I shook my head, shaking my head in pain: "But, I can't bear to..."

"I'll help you make up your mind, password!" She handed the phone closer to me again.

I buried my head, extremely contradictory.

Do you really want to take a step back, or continue to waste your time with her like this?I have been waiting for her news, although I never got it; I think of the half-year wish of self-salvation;

Most importantly, I still love her...

Finally, I shook my head: "I can't do it, I'm sorry, I can't do it..."

Mais looked at me deeply and said: "Xiaochen, I always thought you were someone who could afford and let go, but it turned out that you were not." The disappointment was beyond words.

"Maybe. But for her, no." I took a breath: "She is so important in my heart, so important that I am willing to be for her...forever." The strange thing is that I haven't known her for a long time, There was only one official meeting, but I actually had such an unswerving idea and such a deep emotion for her.Moreover, when I said these words, my heart was extremely firm.

Perhaps, this is the predestined fate.There are some things that cannot be explained clearly.

"As you like."

She didn't care about me, but changed the passcode of her mobile phone, and then asked me to set up a new one, and told me that when she completely let go, she can tell her the new passcode.And applied for a new number to add me and Fu Chunlei.

Day by day, although Mais was behaving like a desperate person at the beginning, but as time went by, her lovesickness seemed to be getting better.Time does take away emotions.Once again, I agreed with Yao Ye's words.

Soon, the summer vacation was coming to an end, and the postgraduate entrance examination class started. We ended the study group mode at home and started to go to the postgraduate entrance examination class every day.

In addition to studying these days, I have become obsessed with Chasing Mai Mangmang's novels.I always feel that the first love of the protagonist in her novels is very similar to me.It's not that I'm being sentimental, but it's really too similar.But at the same time, I found out that the object of her second relationship is very similar to Mais.

I think Mais will know it too, but she still studies without distraction every day, and she must have really let go of it, so she didn't mention it again.But today I took advantage of the recess to open the latest chapter of the novel, and the description of this character's appearance is exactly the same as that of Mais.

Mais is the kind of person who has a lot of personality, so I'm almost sure the character is based on her.

"What are you doing, why are you always watching me secretly?" Mais glared at me.

"It's nothing." I put the phone away guiltily.He couldn't help asking curiously: "Have you read Mai Mangman's novels recently?"

"You're stupid, I'm struggling to forget her now. I even forced myself to change my phone number. How can I still read her novels?"

Yeah, why didn't I think of...

So she didn't know about it.Besides, this incident doesn't seem to explain anything.

But with the development of the plot, I feel more and more that the protagonist loves the role of Mais, but I have too low self-esteem in my heart and feel that I am inferior to her in all aspects, so I rejected her.

Is this what Mai Mangmang really thinks about Mais?But this is a novel after all, and novels are fiction.I was confused, should I tell Mais about this?If it turns out that Mai Mangmang is just creating a novel and doesn't put his true feelings in it at all, wouldn't it mean that Mais' hard work these days will be in vain?

Entanglement is entanglement, in order to be responsible to my friend, I decided to get to know this Maimangman well.So I joined her reader group, and after I was verified to join the group, I began to observe secretly in the group and found that she didn't talk much.When I come out occasionally, I just say three words: update.

In this way, I dived in the group seriously for a few days, but I didn't come into contact with Maimangmang, but I saw a familiar head by accident.

I clicked on her profile picture and found that she was my friend!

Click on the chat box and see that I still have chat records with her——

Sister? !

That's right, this person is Liu Jiayang's senior sister, Zhou Qingyu.

It's hard to imagine that she also reads Lily?I tentatively asked her: "Sister, I found out that we are in the same group."

"We were already in Jiayang's group."

In that dead group, except for Liu Jiayang's occasional festive greetings, almost no one spoke.

I just kept on doing nothing: "Ji Zai fell into the wheat field."

she:"……"

She: "...So, are you really?"

Me: "Could it be that senior sister, too?"

The two shook hands at the same time.

It's a great feeling to find the same kind.What's more, I have a feeling of gratitude to Senior Sister Zhou, because I have been taken care of by her twice when I went to Shanghai.

"Do you like God Jane?" The senior finally asked.I think when I went to Shanghai to find the goddess, she must have started to suspect it, but it was because we didn't expose each other's identities of the same kind, so we didn't say it clearly.

"Yes." I confessed.

She gave a thumbs up emoji: "Courage is commendable. There are too many people chasing her, but I think you have a play."

With the heart of a goddess in love, I ran into walls everywhere and felt anxious. This was the first time someone gave me a glimmer of light and affirmation.It made me unbelievable: "Why is there a drama?"

"She is very indifferent to her suitors, and she always laughs it off. But she even asked someone to bring you a message, which shows that she attaches great importance to your feelings."

"There should be no one like me, so persistent, chasing from Beijing to Shanghai?" I said with self-deprecation.I would rather not have hope, lest the final disappointment fall more painfully.

"I trust my gut."

"Sister, you are the first person to encourage me, thank you."

"Come on, I look forward to seeing you in Shanghai."

"Hmm!" I suddenly thought of Mai Mangmang, so I asked casually, "By the way, do you know about Mai Mangmang's situation?"

"I was the first to read her text, so I'm familiar with it, what's wrong?"

"...Do you think this "Born to the Sun" is written about herself?"

"It's just a novel, and it's No.1 called a documentary. It's easy to make people think it's the author's true story. It's not."

"Oh." It seems that I think too much.

I was chatting with my senior sister when I heard my mother inviting someone in. I went out to have a look, and my heart was full, it was Gao Huijie.

Maybe it's because she always brings me negative and negative news, which makes me feel dark about her.When I saw her coming, I instinctively didn't want to meet or chat with her.But the way of host and guest is my family's basic tutoring, I can only go to say hello to her.

Sure enough, without saying a word, she announced: "Yesterday, Nan Nan contacted me. She said she couldn't come back, so she went back to Nanchang directly, and returned to Shanghai from Jiangxi to start classes."

Sure enough, my heart fell to the bottom.

Yes, she said that she would contact me when she was free, but she contacted Gao Huijie instead of me.

Yes, I did send her an email telling her to get on with it and I'm going to throw in my studies too.Don't she find it strange, such a sudden decision?Shouldn't she get in touch with me immediately after seeing it to find out?

Or, does she not care about me at all?

The senior sister said that she took my feelings into consideration, but it was just that I went all the way to find her, and she responded out of basic politeness, right?

She never revealed that she liked me, and never gave me any hope.She is engaged to a man, so well matched... All these things make me feel really stupid and ridiculous, I really don't know what I am still insisting on?I still made a wish in front of the Buddha for half a year. Now that I think about it, I am really naive!

After Gao Huijie reported the "good news" to me, she went back upstairs with her stomach full as if she had completed her meritorious deeds.

I called Mais: "Could you please come over? Come and block my QQ and phone calls. I want to learn from you and cut off my love!"

Later, I regretted it all the time, regretting that because of impulse, I cut off the only connection with the goddess.Because after that, Gao Huijie also moved away and went back to her hometown to wait for delivery.

And Mais refused to give me the password, and even took away my security card.The only thing I can do is to renew my mobile phone number, hoping that the goddess can give me a call.But no, the summer vacation is over, the school starts, the maple leaves turn yellow and red again, I didn't wait for any news from her.

despair……

Adjust yourself into a learning machine, doing questions every day, reading books, reading books, doing questions... no emotions, no emotions.Learning is like a chain of ecstasy, tearing away the emotions and desires that are about to come out, and dragging them back to the cold real world.

There is no longing, no hope, and I am afraid that if I wait any longer, I will collapse into nothingness, and even the only trace of memory will not be left.Or maybe it was the pride and dignity that I didn't want to give up deep in my heart. Later, I simply stopped my mobile phone number and got a new one.

Day after day, autumn and winter came, and finally ushered in the application for the exam, preparing for the first exam.

All three of us passed the first test, but on the day we got our grades, the chains were loosened, and my longing for the past few days turned into a backlash, which made me want to die.

I almost cried and begged Mais to return the password to me, Mais shook his head and sent the password to me.

I opened the buckle with a huge tremor like a drug addict.

Waiting for the long-awaited notification sound.

The avatar of the Japanese actress remarked as Jane Xiaodai jumped up, and my heart was also beating violently!

"Are there?"

"I received your email. Okay, study hard and contact me again."

"Xiaochen, why are you getting angry again? Why is your account always down?"

Three, exactly three!

Goddess, she contacted me, she really contacted me!

I wiped the tears covering my eyes and replied tremblingly: "I miss you so much, I miss you so much."

After returning, I exhaled.I saw a moth flying in from outside the window at some point, rushing towards the incandescent lamp again and again.

How I look like that moth.

Suddenly, I figured it out!

From now on, I will no longer run away, and put all my heart and life into her hands.If I lose, I have no regrets, and if I die, I can only accept the bet. If I don't love her so decisively and passionately, I don't deserve to have her!

She didn't call me back, but my mood was extremely firm.

Without any accident, I was admitted to my first choice, Shanghai University of Finance and Economics. Mais was also admitted to Shanghai International Studies University as she wished, but Fu Chunlei did not pass the score line of Peking University, so she decided to take the exam for another year.

After a temporary slack, I began to count the days to go to Shanghai day by day, looking forward to the start of school day by day.

Finally, my mother started to pack my luggage for me, and my father also went around to buy daily necessities for me.This means that I will leave Beijing soon and go to Shanghai.

At the same time, I also realized that it was time to cheer up.

Because, the road to chasing the goddess is a long way to go...