pig like age

fiancé……

I didn't realize it for a while, these three words seemed to be just three words, without connotation, without any meaning.I went through it in my mind, like a fleeting image, without leaving any emotional fluctuations.Perhaps a self-preservation mechanism played a role?I always think, how can I be so crazy about the goddess?Crazy to the point of no cure, crazy to enter the magic barrier.

Slowly, the pain gradually appeared. The three words "fiancé" were like a knife cutting into my heart, and the pain made me break out in a cold sweat!

No, the goddess said that if she doesn't have a boyfriend, how can she have a fiance?

no, no...

Absolutely impossible!

"What's wrong with you, Xiaochen?" Gao Huijie asked worriedly: "Your face suddenly turned pale, is it because the weather is too stuffy and you have a heat stroke?"

I asked, "Are you sure?"

Gao Huijie wondered: "What, what are you sure about?"

"Senior Jane has a fiance?"

Gao Huijie's expression froze for a moment, then she quickly returned to normal and said, "I'm sure. I also attended the engagement banquet. If you don't believe me, take a look." She took out her mobile phone from her pocket, flipped through the photos and showed me: "Although I didn't wear a dress It's so formal, but you see the family and friends gathered in the back, witnessing that they are indeed engaged."

I saw the goddess standing next to a man.

"This doesn't seem to explain anything, it's just getting closer to people." I don't know if I said this to her or to myself.

Gao Huijie's expression was stunned for a moment, and soon she became annoyed: "What did I lie to you for?"

Yes, she didn't have to lie to me.I don't want to believe it.

I know that Liu Jiayang is the number one fan of the goddess, and he is known as "Jian Shen Bao inquires".Most of the information he inquired came from the person in front of him.So the credibility must be extremely high.I don't know why Gao Huijie likes to talk about the goddess's privacy so much, and I don't want to know.All I know is that there are photos to prove the engagement of the goddess, and there are witnesses and evidences. No matter how much I refuse to believe it, it will be futile, and it is just a needless struggle of a dying person.

"Besides, do you think that anyone can be so close to Nannan?" I think Gao Huijie's mind is rather paranoid, and she insists on making others believe that what she said is true, but she turns out to be more truthful.She pointed to the photo that made me not want to take a second look and said: "Nannan usually keeps a distance from people, she doesn't like to touch people. But look, how close they are, arms They're all tied together..."

She said later that I was automatically blocked. I said, I seem to have turned on the self-protection mode.

I also forgot how to say goodbye to her, and returned home alone.

Without turning on the light, I went straight into my sister's room.

My sister's room is like a safe haven when I'm particularly helpless and depressed.There is Ji Shuyu's breath, which can soothe my pessimism.

I was lying on her bed, the scent of the shower gel she used last time was still on the mattress, my vision gradually became blurred...

There are some things that I am not afraid of. I can seek proof and bravely seek the truth.But now, I am timid.

I looked at my phone, Ji Shuyu should be in class at this time.But I can't handle that much anymore.

Sadness, desolation, loneliness, anger, confusion, many emotions overlapped in a near-collapsed chaos, and I couldn't face it alone!I think if this goes on I'll go crazy!

I dialed the number, but she hung up on her as usual, and was quickly called back by her.

"What's the matter, Xiaochen?" Her voice was a little hurried.My sister has always been delicate, and she must have a bad feeling about me making this call at this time.

"Sister..." Actually, I didn't plan to tell her anything, I just wanted to hear her voice on this night that was destined to be painful.So I relaxed my tone: "It's okay, I just miss you."

"Fool." After a while, she said, "I'll call home tomorrow, can't you wait?"

I nodded: "Can't wait."

She laughed, and then said worriedly: "Xiaochen, are you in a bad mood?"

"No, how can there be..."

She obviously didn't believe it, but she didn't expose me either.She never forced me, which is many times better than my mother.So I always tell her what I have in my heart, instead of talking to my mother.

"By the way, we're going to bike camping next week. We happened to be passing through Orange County, so I asked Xiao Zuo to go with me."

"Oh." I don't repel her meeting and getting along with Xiao Youzuo as much as before.I think the reason why Xiao Youzuo said that at the beginning was definitely out of anger.If she really "planned to cheat" on my sister, she wouldn't wait until now.Especially I think she still has merit.She was able to be admitted to Beijing Film Academy and Chapman University, which is known for its strict admissions. Presumably there should be no problems in self-control and self-discipline except for emotional aspects.

"Why, don't worry?" My sister said with a smile.

"Don't worry. What should have been already had."

She was silent, and said in a hesitant tone, "Then, have you and your goddess made any progress?"

It's okay if she doesn't mention it, but when I mention it, I can't stop crying.She was also afraid that she would choke up and make her worry in vain, so she held back her breath, let it out, calmed down and said, "I have a fiancé, so I don't want to be confused."

"Ah?" My sister exclaimed, "Do you have a fiancé?"

"Ah."

"Have you confirmed it?"

"The witnesses and material evidence are all ready, how else do we need to prove it?"

"Ask her to prove it herself."

"She went to military training, and her mobile phone was turned off."

"There is always a way to get in touch. Don't be stupid, you must prove it to her yourself."

"...Sister." I called out.

"Ok?"

"This time, I dare not. I'm afraid it's true. I can't accept this fact."

"Are you running away?"

I am silent.

"Our family does not have timid children." She said seriously.

"I'm not timid, I just care about her too much..." She won't understand, no one will understand my mood at the moment.If I get the answer, there is a good chance there will be no future.My self-esteem does not allow me to rob someone else's fiancee.It's immoral.I never had immoral children in my family.

"You should know in your heart that you will have to face this matter sooner or later. It's just the difference between sooner or later."

"Then I choose to know later."

Ji Shuyu sighed: "Xiaochen, you have changed. Love has made you timid and cowardly."

Right, because she is my weakness, I can't be strong.

I stayed up all night that night, got up early the next morning, called the goddess, and the phone shut down as expected.

So I wrote an email, and the content was not to testify about her fiancé.It's just that I want to concentrate on my studies, and I won't bother her in the near future, so that she can do things with peace of mind.After finishing these, I packed a package and went to Hongluo Temple.

I made a wish in front of the Buddha, if the Buddhas of the Nine Heavens are willing to fulfill me, I am willing to give my most precious things in exchange.In order to enhance the efficacy, I found a hotel nearby and burned the head incense every morning for 3 days.

It turns out that I don't believe in Buddhism, but she does.If she believes it, I will.When I have nothing to do, I recite Buddhist scriptures, sometimes the Heart Sutra, and sometimes the Diamond Sutra.Gradually, those unexplained words gradually penetrated into my heart and became a support for my belief.

After burning the incense early in the morning on the third day, I knew I had to go home because there was a dinner at my dad's company tonight.

In a temple as big as Hongluo Temple, even if you look carefully, you can't find a few monks who have become monks.But the more times I come here, the more I know that there is a courtyard, which is their residence.I found it there, copied a scripture and had it consecrated by a pleasing young monk, and took it back to the city.

My dad washed the car in the garage early in the morning, and changed into several suits, all of which felt inappropriate, and then asked my mom to wear a bow tie.

"I haven't worn this thing before, it's a bit strangled." My dad pulled the bow tie, and my mother clapped her hands: "Don't move, it's finally put on."

My dad smiled wryly: "For such a formal banquet, it's better to hold it less. I can't stand being so restrained."

"Your company's money didn't come from strong winds. How can you manage it?" My mother stretched here, flicked there, looked at it from far and near, and finally said with satisfaction: "That's it!"

My dad looked back at me and couldn't help frowning: "Are you going to wear this?"

"You are the protagonist, I am the family member, why are you dressed so grandly?" I mean that you can't be the guest of honor.

My dad was dissatisfied and said: "I told you to go shopping with you, but you had to go to some Hongluo Temple, and you didn't come back until today after leaving. The company's administrative department has issued a notice, saying that no matter the employees or their family members, they will have a banquet." Pack."

I looked at my dress and nodded: "Then you wait." After that, I quickly changed into a dress and came out.It turns out that I have all kinds of banquets with Sister Li, not to mention dresses, I have fancy dresses for masquerade parties.

My mother squinted her eyes and thought: "It seems that there is something missing..."

My dad followed my mother's example and looked me up and down: "Yes, there seems to be something wrong."

I said helplessly: "I know, wait." After wearing some jewelry and coming out, my parents smiled and agreed that I was a person who could show off.

In fact, I didn't take this matter to heart at all in my heart. I always thought about muddling along and letting the matter go through the motions.

It's hard to describe what's going on in my heart at this moment.These days in the temple, I burn incense in the morning, eat fast at noon, chant scriptures in the afternoon, and go to bed before [-] o’clock in the evening. I just want this thousand-year-old temple, with morning bells and evening drums, to cultivate my heart and purify my mind.

Now that I am back in the bustling city, when I just entered the community, I think of all kinds of goddesses again. Suddenly there are waves and undercurrents in my heart, tumbling and boiling like boiling water. I don't care about it all.

I made a wish, and what I made was that for half a year, I was not allowed to contact her within half a year, forcing myself to be indifferent to her.If after half a year my feelings for her still remain the same, I will ask the Buddha to help me, and I am willing to give my most precious things in exchange.In fact, it contains two parts: one is to vow not to contact her with poison; the other is to make a wish so that I can be with her.

I am very clear in my heart, if worshiping Buddha is useful, how can there be so many troubles in the world?Just trying to comfort my heart.My real idea is to force myself to temporarily let go of my obsession with her, and treat this feeling calmly.If there is no other way, I will snatch her away from her fiancé regardless of the moral code of benevolence, justice, shame and shame!

The Buddha is the witness.

After all, I tried, and I have a clear conscience.

It's just that I didn't expect that the practice in the temple would not work at all. When I got home, I missed her and my enthusiasm for her was ignited in an instant.What followed was pain and suffering.

It is conceivable that this dinner, I don't even have half the time to blend in, it's just coping and perfunctory.

I followed my dad into the car like a walking dead, and drove to the most luxurious hotel in the city center with feasting and feasting all the way.