Engage

In the dimly lit room, the small sound of fabric rubbing, kisses, and whispers could be faintly heard.

The few words are as follows:

"Still avoiding me?"

ask.

"I won't hide anymore."

Shaking his head.

"Is it really because you hurt your self-esteem?"

ask.

"En. Suddenly, I can't accept myself like that."

nod.

"I understand."

In such a murmur, the two heads came together again, comforting, Jiang Ran touched Qi Lian's forehead, then raised his head and kissed her eyes, touching her side face with his fingers, slowly, Caressing inch by inch.

Such comfort is actually very reassuring.

"Ah Lian, you can't see your eyes, isn't it painful?"

Jiang Ran asked cautiously.This is Qi Lian's scar. In the past, she had always avoided discussing Qi Lian's eyes with Qi Lian, but at this moment, she felt that avoiding some things was not a good solution.

Because it's not a wound that has scabbed over, it's still bleeding, and after so many years, it shows no signs of healing, and Qi Lian hides it, pretending that it has healed.She faced everyone calmly, making everyone think that she didn't care about this matter, but in fact, judging from her performance just now, how could she not care?

Realizing this, Jiang Ran felt a faint pain in his heart.She hadn't encountered any setbacks in the first half of her life, and she wasn't very good at dealing with such things. She just judged based on her thoughts. She thought that Qi Lian's illness was not limited to her body.

Maybe Qi Lian also has a heart disease.

I don't know if this kind of heart disease has a special name in Interstellar, but if Jiang Ran talks about it, it's a bit like depression.Of course, Jiang Ran has never been exposed to depression, but she has read a book about this kind of illness before, which mentioned it.

"The forest in Norway"

She can't remember the specific plot of the readings when she was a teenager, but there are some things in it that are still clear. For example, there is a patient with severe depression. She lives like a normal person in normal times, but occasionally, Occasionally she would have a nervous breakdown, a sudden loss of control.This uncontrollability usually manifests itself when being stimulated to a certain point.

There are three such people in the original text, and they all committed suicide later without exception.

Now Jiang Ran is not sure if Qi Lian is like this, but it is true that Qi Lian is too sensitive, she is very worried about Qi Lian.

She should have thought earlier that Qi Lian has been trapped in the darkness for ten years. In these ten years, no matter what ambitions and hopes Qi Lian had in his heart, they should have been swallowed up by the darkness, right?

She should have thought of it earlier, Qi Lian was so proud, how could she accept help from others so calmly?Yes, in the eyes of her or others, cutting nails is just a trivial matter, but it is because it is only a trivial matter that it reflects Qi Lian's powerlessness even more.Was this the reason for Qi Lian's emotional outburst?

"Actually, just get used to it. I'm almost used to it. It's just that I suddenly feel unhappy." Qi Lian thought about it, and wanted to explain to her, and finally made an analogy with some hesitation: "It's like menstruation. There is no month. Things happen so frequently, but occasionally for a few days, the darkness in my heart will spread."

It should be said that occasionally for a few days, the darkness in front of my eyes would spread to my heart.There is light in her heart, but in these years, the darkness is like a huge wheel, constantly rolling over, so there are indeed fewer and fewer places illuminated by the light.But these days, that light has a tendency to expand again.

This was brought by Jiang Ran.But not just for the love she brings, but also for the hope of recovery she brings.

"Your eyes will be all right. Your sickness will be all right."

What Jiang Ran said was very firm, which made Qi Lian bend his eyes: "You know again?"

"I just know." Seeing her pretending to be calm, Jiang Ran grabbed her ear again: "You have to believe it!"

And fierce her.It's really fierce.

Qi Lian was not afraid at all, and the smile on his face became brighter and brighter.

Jiang Ran told Qi Lian what her father told her at that time.Qi Lian listened thoughtfully, but didn't speak for a while.

"You're like this again. Believe it or not, don't keep things in your heart."

"I believe."

"Really?"

"Really." Qi Lian nodded, she knew that she made Jiang Ran uneasy, so she carried her to the bed and sat up, completely encircling her in her arms: "Really. Ran Ran, there is one thing, don't Know if you've noticed."

Jiang Ran looked at her suspiciously: "What?"

"Since I met you, except for the time you were not there, I have never had any mental violence."

Jiang Ran thought about it, it really is!She had never seen Qi Lian's mental violence.

"It's been a few months, and I haven't had a single attack. This was impossible before. So I believe, I think, this kind of treatment is effective." Qi Lian hugged her waist and whispered Talk to her calmly: "Also, in fact, my mental violence often occurs when my mood swings are severe, just like just now."

She remembered just now that the reason why she was so anxious to avoid Jiang Ran was that apart from self-loathing, there was another point that she was very afraid that she would have a mental violence.

If she really got sick, Jiang Ran would be very dangerous by her side.

"But I didn't have a mental violence just now. I guess it was also because you were by my side. Apart from that, there seems to be no other explanation. I was in a hurry to avoid you just now because I was afraid of hurting you. Fortunately, I didn't hurt you." your turn."

It was only then that Jiang Ran realized that she had passed the danger just now, and she was a little scared, but she breathed a sigh of relief in her heart, as if she wasn't particularly scared.She thought that in the situation just now, even if Qi Lian's mental strength was violent, she might not want to leave.

Jiang Ran, you have become a fool.

"Will you hurt me?"

"I'm afraid I will. When the mental force riots, people are not like people, but more like beasts. They only know how to destroy, and I can't escape. Remember the double-S level riot I told you before case? When he finally had a nervous breakdown, he destroyed a city. There is no hyperbole in that statement."

Jiang Ran was taken aback.

"You see, my manor is so far away from the city. It has a vast area, and within hundreds of miles, it is all my private land. On the border, there are many signs indicating that no one is allowed to enter. Many people misunderstand that this is The privileges of the upper class are 'ugly' and 'rotten', but in fact, the reason why the federation has set aside such a large area for me is because they are afraid of my illness, and they are worried that I will eventually get sick and affect innocent people."

"If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have been able to move out of this manor. This is my permanent residence in the Federation. To put it mildly, it is my property and home. To put it poorly, it is captivity. My cage is the cemetery chosen for me by the federal people."

"A Lian"

"No one is a fool. Of course the federal people know how destructive I am, but they accepted me because the benefits I can bring are far higher than the damage I can produce. But don't think that the empire wants me to come over It is to pass on the danger, the empire is also very big, I have a whole subsidiary planet in the empire, there, it will be easier for me to find a residence that will not affect others."

After Qi Lian finished speaking, he thought for a while and said, "Actually, these are not important. I just want to tell you that I am very dangerous. So if I do this again next time, you must stay away from me .”

Jiang Ran looked at her, and suddenly asked: "Will you still hate yourself because of this kind of thing in the future?"

Qi Lian shook his head: "I don't think I can, but I'm afraid—"

Jiang Ran covered her lips: "If you say no, then I won't avoid you."

"Burning."

"You also said that I suppressed your riot today, then I will be able to suppress it again." Jiang Ran immediately said again.

"But I'm afraid. Such a thing can't bear the 'what if'. Maybe you can help me countless times, but as long as there is one exception, the consequences will definitely be beyond my ability." Qi Lian paused Suddenly, she felt that what she was about to say was nasty, but she still hesitated to say it: "I don't want to lose you."

Jiang Ran secretly wiped away tears again.

"But someone just promised me that she won't do this again." She leaned into Qi Lian's arms and held Qi Lian tightly: "You have to do what you say. Ah Lian, you have to treat yourself Have confidence."

Qi Lian was hugged by her, his expression blank for a moment.

"Anyone can make empty promises. I'm an adult, and most of the time I'm rational. I'm not so easy to deceive. What I want is actual action. Ah Lian, you have to do what you promised me."

Jiang Ran repeated it once.She is putting pressure on Qi Lian, she wants Qi Lian to be concerned, and if she is concerned, at least when that hateful emotion comes up, Qi Lian will think of her and know that he can't do that.

Qi Lian can, why not?Qi Lian was originally such a strong person.

"I promise you I will do it, but what I said is in case, then you—"

Jiang Ran covered her mouth again: "Then let's die together."

"Burning!"

"I'm here, and I don't have any special concerns." Jiang Ran said something that Qi Lian couldn't understand.

Qi Lian was almost pissed off by her stubbornness, but he was completely reluctant to scold her, and also had a strange feeling in his heart, like a kite with a broken string that was tied up again and placed in someone else's hands.

She is a kite, and her string is in Jiang Ran's hands.

"Okay. You said it was just in case. Didn't we just say that your condition will improve? Maybe you will recover soon. Is it meaningful to argue with me about such a thing now?"

Jiang Ran remembered something, she leaned on Qi Lian's shoulder, tilted her head to look at her, and smiled shyly.

"Actually, after my dad told me about that incident, my confidence is already very high. Then there is one more thing. I originally wanted to wait until the time comes."

She was so close, Qi Lian's throat tightened a little: "What's the matter?"

Jiang Ran leaned over, leaned into Qi Lian's ear, and whispered something.

Qi Lian's face turned red all of a sudden.