eventually

8. Speech

Sunset, lonely red...

Haruhiko was on the hillside.

Only him.

He was sitting next to a bag of glutinous rice and soybean flour snacks on a brown paper pad. He begged for it from Xicheng this morning, but he only ate half a mouthful without interest.At the foot of the mountain is a red wave, the wind is blowing, and the leaf-shaped large brush of cinnabar color undulates like waves, one after another, and it is about to reach Haruhiko's feet.Red, emerald green, and flowing gold, the three colors interweave to make the autumn day gorgeous, but Haruhiko prefers the maple dyeing at the edge, and the small gravel in the grass is unknowingly printed in the palm of the hand. Grabbing a piece of dim sum, he felt a stone falling from his palm. After looking thoughtfully, he washed his hands with "Soul of Water" and tasted it again. It was tasteless, but the sticky feeling existed in the tongue .

During the howling, the wind was able to bring a red leaf from the bottom of the mountain. Haruhiko grabbed it between his fingers and held a snack in his mouth, but he carefully looked at the veins of the maple leaves in his heart, observing every word and emotion in the mountain forest, and the dense flow , It is the spirit of fog in the mountains, and they have maple leaves of various colors, with a little green on the tip and yellowish at the end, which are different, and then they play a trick on Haruhiko, scattering the rain on his head, and the maple leaves drift past his eyes.Haruhiko laughed and covered his left eye with a leaf, thinking that he could see the reddish sky under the leaf.

But he only saw the spots left in his incomplete redness.

"Haruhiko!"

"What's the matter?"

Qing Yan smiled and turned around, it was Xuan Feng, he hurriedly ran all the way, sweating slightly, obviously didn't know where he was, and searched for a long time at a loss.But in fact, Haruhiko was only behind the Taoist temple, covered by buildings, and was naturally ignored for a while.Haruhiko played with the maple leaf, twisted a piece of dim sum with the other hand, and asked Xuan Feng if he wanted to eat with him.

"Why did you cast a spell on me last night?"

Xuan Feng strode over.

"...Huh? Wouldn't you like to have a good sleep?"

"No, it's not good. If you use spells at will, it will only make me vigilant."

Xuan Feng walked to Qing Yan's side, knelt down and faced him directly and said.And Qing Yan took the opportunity to tease and press Xuan Feng's forehead with a smile, preventing him from standing up properly for a while, and also messed up Xuan Feng's long black hair, causing Xuan Feng to grab his troublesome hand.

"Tell me why you did this."

The leopard was a little angry, so Haruhiko sighed a little, looked at the ripe autumn colors, and replied very quietly and slowly.

"Xuan Feng, you always find your spare time to sleep, defy your instinct and act together with us during the day, think about how long you haven't slept well, I just want you to rest...can't you?"

Xuan Feng was slightly moved, and he sat next to Qing Yan, in the usual semi-meditating position, covering his face with his hands and running his hair, to clear himself up and sort out his thoughts, he finally warned Qing Yan sullenly.

"You must at least notify me in advance..."

"Notify Xiaoxuan that I won't succeed."

"Smelly child..."

Qing Yan was still complacent, but Xuan Feng said with his head buried.

Haruhiko smiled slightly.

"Hey, Xiaoxuan, do you still remember the dream I told you about?"

Only then did Xuan Feng relax and become tense again, his legs didn't move for a while, but his upper body moved back, creating a subtle distance.

"……you!"

"Am I just talking about a dream, or Xiaoxuan? Have you forgotten what I told you last time?"

Xuan Feng recalled it, but in the fragmented memory, it was only Qingyan's mouth shape, lost in the darkness.

"you forgot?"

His slightly coquettish smile is still familiar.

"If you forgot...I'll tell you again."

"I dreamed of... a man as gentle as you."

He narrates the story in the third person that he did not participate in, and he understates the story, as if he is really talking about others.

"I dreamed of you, Dipo, Duyu, and Qichang."

"You are so gentle in your dreams."

"Xicheng is like a mother, but he is the kind of mother who is still a child. He doesn't understand anything, doesn't care about anything, and is free, but he treats me very well."

"Duyu is my friend. His character is different from now. He is gentle and kind. He always blames himself for his mistakes. He is too guilty. But now he is more like a strict father to me. Sometimes he It was really cruel, but I knew he was doing it for my own good, so I couldn't say anything."

"As for Dipo, he and I... are like brothers we haven't seen for a long time. Our personalities are opposite. I'm an extremely stupid person, but he can always tolerate me and stand up when I need help."

"As for you, Xuan Feng, how perceptive you are, the quietest and most delicate, you can detect everything, and that's exactly how I am willing to talk to you about everything, I am willing to tell you about a ridiculous dream, and I am also willing to, In front of you, the fragility that can no longer be contained is exposed."

"Hey... Xiaoxuan, don't think I'm weird."

He covered his eyes with a maple leaf, which was so big that he couldn't see the blue eyes at all, but his exposed mouth was smiling and his body was trembling.

"I want to be like you too..."

Xuan Feng did not remove the leaf used for camouflage. He knew that this child had always matured precociously. At this time, the corner of the robe that was pinched by Qing Yan might not be able to calm down again. While sweating, he couldn't control the flow of his "spirit", and all the troubles were in line with his mood.

Unstoppable, inevitable.

Surrounded Haruhiko.

Xuan Feng was indeed thoughtful, he hugged Qingyan, and patted him on the back.

Haruhiko then grabbed the skirt of Xuan Feng's chest.

"...Only you, you can't call me a 'monster'..."

"Even if it's weird... I absolutely, never... lose my last protection..."

When Haruhiko cried, it would be like a mountain torrent pouring out and a dam crumbling.

"I, no matter how hard I hide, I can't hide my differences. It's a different reality, but I'm still very happy, because even after so many bumps and bumps, today you are willing to stay with me here. I don't Knowing what will happen to me in the future, I can't think of it, and I don't want to think about it... I can eat and laugh with everyone, and I feel that even if I am a product of patchwork, no matter how strange I am, I still look like a human being. At this moment, I am also happy."

"Be good to me... only you."

Xuan Feng thought of Qing Yan's past suffering.

Xuan Feng pierced to the end, although he couldn't bear it.

"Haruhiko, you are too narrow-minded, you should go and see..."

Haruhiko tried his best to stop him.

"No... no, I've seen enough."

In the memory that is closely connected with Yin Shu, it is the rain of stones like a rain of maple leaves, of course it will hurt when it hits... Young Master Jing... Is his original surname "Jing", or does it have some special meaning?He carried the "miasma" all the way to the west. After reincarnation, Xuanfeng and the others no longer knew where they went, but Qingyan was neither alive nor dead, and he still carried the memories of life after life.Sometimes it's better to forget, but forgetting is also a kind of abandonment, a kind of betrayal. Can he still maintain the status quo if he forgets the past?Will they be able to find Xuan Feng and Di Po again...

He is indeed narrow-minded, but he only remembers one place where he can escape.

He who has become "Miasma" is already attacking the opponent.

Absorbed everyone's pain.

In the end, he was hated by everyone.

Whether it's insulting, beating, killing, pain...

Don't be afraid to hide.

What should be kept in mind is that it cannot be said or revealed, and no one wants to see the real him.

Half of him turned into a white dove and rushed towards the place of light, while the other half of him tried his best to stop him, firmly believing that if he didn't start, there would be no pain, and if he didn't start, there would be no subsequent disturbances, just a dream in vain.He still broke through all the barriers, reappeared in front of them as if attracting each other, and then became the ideal "Haruhiko".

It's just that I'm too clumsy.

Of course he is selfish, afraid of pain, afraid of being scolded, likes gentleness, likes to be cared for, and tolerated.

Even if there are thousands of gullies in the heart, even if there are thousands of wounds in the body.

He also only remembers one place.

Narrow...

But knowing that there is a good place, I am unwilling to try and encounter bad ones.

I just want to be self-willed again and again until the mountains and rivers collapse and the illusion is shattered. It doesn't matter whether it is true or false.

In Xuan Feng's puzzlement, Qingyan lowered his head, and the tears overflowed a little bit involuntarily, but he kept smiling, the wind blew away the tears, his eyes were only red, and he had never been counted as crying.

"Xiaoxuan, if... the time is short enough, then you won't feel bad if you forget what you experienced?"

Xuan Feng noticed his cautiousness.

"Haruhiko, what do you want to do again?"

"you answer me first."

"...How small and short, they are all cherished. As long as you don't want to, you can't forget it."

"yes……"

Haruhiko crouched in Xuan Feng's arms and smiled lightly, leaving no trace behind.

He didn't really talk about those past events.

It's just that if you are not careful, you will get used to being drunk with tenderness.

But he thinks...

Memories are indeed precious, but if they are unpleasant, forget them...

Can't remember, can't remember.

Just like the first life.

Xuan Feng cut off the wisteria that he had planted with him, and replaced it with the hibiscus that his wife loved.

Dipo ruled the Northern Territory, and a large area of ​​the frontier was ruled by one person, and the promised prince did not appear.

Qiqiang planted a tree, in the center of his leaves, he lived leisurely without wearing a ribbon every day.

Since then, Du Yu has been hidden in the world and has no whereabouts. She only looks back occasionally, and suddenly hears the sound of cranes chirping in the wind.

And everything he disturbed was at peace.

Jiao can't spread too much.

Otherwise you will be disgusted.

Now that he appeared again and made a big fuss, ruining the peace of the four of them, should we let everything go back to track again?

As long as it is like the first life, it will not be remembered or perceived.

Just wait and see and maintain everything...

Mirage...

he does not know……

He still wants to be greedy...

But he also persuaded himself to be content, Chang Le...