You are like a star, shining brightly

What is Kazuki Shimizu to him...

Kanno thought over and over again, feeling the emotions brought about by his touch, but he didn't know how to describe it.Is it sour or bitter, or sweet that makes him throb.

"I believe you, but please tell me clearly what's going on with you."

After kissing the other party until he was almost unconscious, Kanno parted with a little reluctance, put his hands on the other party's shoulders, and stared at Shimizu's face.Because of the crimson color, his expression at the moment is quite attractive, making one wish to possess him just like that!But no, when the relationship between the two of them has not been cleaned up, I can't just think about everything for a while...

"When I was 20 years old..."

Shimizu lowered his head, as if he didn't dare to meet Kanno's eyes.He hugged his knees and huddled his body together.

"When I was 20 years old, I was still in college. Before I graduated, my parents had a car accident. I hurried back and held the funeral with the help of my uncle and aunt. That's when I met Brother Dao Xue. At that time I'm the only one left, and my aunt doesn't have time, it just so happens that brother Daoxue will be on vacation in winter due to health reasons, so my aunt let him stay with me for a while."

"So that's when he hit you?"

If this is the case, then Fujiwara Michiyuki is really a despicable bastard.

"Not at first, Brother Dao Xue didn't do anything. But I don't know why the winter was so cold that year, so I just..."

After hesitating for a while, Shimizu still suppressed his complicated emotions and continued.

"He would hug me to sleep like you did, and he would also say gentle words to me to comfort me. At that time, I was alone, so it became like this after being together for a long time."

What has become of it?

"Because a person will feel lonely and afraid, so you like someone who is willing to accompany you?"

"……Yes."

Shimizu's dodging eyes made Shenye feel a little stinging, but no matter how painful he was, the fact was like this, and he couldn't tamper with the past that belonged to Shimizu.In the lonely night, you will be afraid and sad, so there is a person who happens to be willing to accompany you gently, how can Qing Shui not rely on him.

"So you wait for him every year? Would you rather stay here, just for the one or two months he will be here with you in winter?"

"……Um."

He lowered his head lower and lower, hiding Qing Shui's face.He didn't seem to want Shenye to see his expression, but this man followed closely, as if he was judging others with such sharp eyes.

"What about the rest? You have to endure loneliness for the remaining ten months, right? What a rotten man Fujiwara Michiyuki is! Why didn't you take you away? Why did you have to be left alone for so long to torture you?!"

It was the first time for Kanno to feel heartache on behalf of others.Originally, he really wanted to hold Qing Shui in his arms, but now he hated Dao Xue.Because of some excitement, Shenye squeezed a little hard, and after Qingshui let out a soft cry of "pain", he simply withdrew his hand and never touched Qingshui again.

But when I touched him, I really wanted to hug him, but when I didn't touch him, I became timid.I have been proud for so long, but now I am emotionally timid like an idiot.Want to love but feel that I have no chance.

"Brother Daoxue didn't say, I'm a man again..."

"Because you're a man, you think it's impossible to be together, right? So you don't embarrass him, just wait for him. Isn't eight years enough?"

Kanno smiled wryly twice, put on his coat, and fell into the sofa next to him.He stared blankly at the ceiling, feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I want to wait until this house falls down, then leave..."

"what?"

Kanno looked at Shimizu in disbelief, and couldn't help laughing out loud after he said the childish words.

"Ha ha ha ha……"

"If there hadn't been an earthquake, that house would last at least ten years. If you wait another ten years, do you know how old you are? Do you know what is left in your life?"

But Shimizu didn't know, he was like a simple and easy-to-deceive fool, no matter what Shenye said, he didn't get angry, and just smiled wryly.

"I don't know, I don't care anymore..."

Finally getting impatient, Shimizu lowered his head and put on his shoes, then put the scarf and coat on his body again, and turned off the heating equipment.

"Go back? It's already dark."

Presuming that nothing happened just now, Qing Shui maintained his usual smile, looking lightly at the slumped person on the sofa.

"Where do you want me to go?"

Qing Shui, who stood blankly by the side, pursed his lips, but didn't say anything.

"If you go back, Daoxue will still be waiting for you. Why should I go back? What's different?"

"Different."

"where?"

I really want to break open his heart and see what's inside.Is it just Dao Xue alone, or there is also his own shadow.But no matter what the result is, it is also true that Dao Xue is deeply rooted in Qingshui.No one can shake his existence, no matter whether it is love or hate for eight years of emotion, I can't compare it.

"If you don't go back, I will worry."

"Are you my mother? What do I do..."

The words became more and more ugly, and he could hold back his emotions originally, but at this moment, Shenye didn't want to bear it anymore.As if giving up on himself, he refused Qing Shui.

"It's very cold here, there's no way to live there. If you don't go back, you'll catch a cold."

He tried his best to hide his emotions so that Kanno didn't notice.His slightly numb eyes didn't know what he was looking at, and the two refused to look at each other.

"Don't be a mother-in-law anymore, you can return yours and leave me alone."

"No! I want to wait for you to go back together!"

Like an elementary school student who is angry, but he is obviously a gentle and lovely person, but now he scares Kanno.

"Are you a stalker? Or a primary school student? I don't want to go with you. Every time I think of Daoxue waiting for you, it feels very annoying and annoying to me. And you said it yourself, I hate it the most, you hate it Me. Isn't it?"

"..."

Qing Shui seemed to want to refute, but he just frowned, but couldn't say anything, standing there like a pillar.

"You hate me and want to see me and want to be with me. You are a weirdo. Since you hate me, then I hate you too. You don't need to talk if you don't need it in the future."

Even though Kanno just said it casually, the words were like a heavy blow, and Shimizu was stunned.He never seemed to have thought that Kanno would say "hate" himself.After a long time, he squatted down gently and buried his face between his knees as if he had come to life.

"Why don't you leave?"

Shenye felt a headache. After he felt for the first time that he fell in love with a man, he realized that the so-called success and personal charm in the past were far inferior to the company of eight years.The feeling of self-denial in his thirties is really uncomfortable, almost overwhelming him.

"..."

Still didn't speak, just squatted alone, holding his head without saying a word.

"Little tree, listen to me, go back?"

Reluctantly, he stood up, and Shenye took his arm and forcibly pulled him up.

"If you don't go back, your cousin will...why are you crying?"

The crystal clear teardrops wet his eyes and made him a little red, but he didn't shed any tears, only two dark spots of water on his sleeves.

"Do you really hate me..."

Qing Shui finally stopped avoiding it, but when he asked this sentence, he couldn't help but drop a teardrop, which slid down his fair face.

"Don't you hate me too?"

"But I don't want you to hate me."

"That's so unfair, who can be so greedy..."

Wiping away the tears with a smile, Shenye helped him tidy up his clothes.

"It seems that children are arguing. They are 28 years old, why can't they be more sincere?"

Still not daring to say it, Shenye turned off the light, and took Shimizu's ungloved hand out the door.He locked the office and dragged him all the way to the gate without letting go.But the north wind was blowing so hard that people couldn't keep their eyes open. After being silent all the way, they finally delivered Qingshui to the door of the house, and Shenye told him not to leave.

"Go back, someone is waiting for you, I won't bother you."

After saying that, she turned around and walked towards the house, but she kept holding Qing Shui's hand tightly, and wanted to let go at this moment, but she felt very reluctant.How much he wished that he could not let go, even if there was no place to go back to, as long as he had this boy by his side, he would not feel cold.

"Let go, little tree."

Originally, she was holding his hand, but at this moment it was reversed, and it became Qing Shui holding her tightly.But what's the use of this, other than to torture people, it's all useless.

"Relax, I'm going back!"

Shouting sharply, Shimizu froze in fright, and at the same time the room was lit, Fujiwara Michiyuki lay lazily on the table, looking at the two with his chin propped up.

"It's so cold, if we don't go back, we will freeze to death in the middle of the night."

While speaking, Bai Wu was carried away by the wind in an instant, but Shimizu still had no intention of letting go.Just when the two were at a stalemate, Dao Xue came out wearing a coat.

"Xiao Shu, you are back, why don't you go in."

Hearing Daoxue calling himself, Qing Shui turned his head slowly.

"elder brother……"

What he said was just a soft cry, but the look on his face that was about to cry made both men stunned.

"What's wrong? Have you been bullied?"

Seeing that he was still holding onto Shenye's hand tightly, Daoxue still maintained his usual smile, and hugged him into his arms. Kazuki Shimizu, who was about the same height as Shenno, looked a little thin and small, and pretended to tug his arm inadvertently. Shimizu let go of his hand.

"It's good that you come out, I'm going back, then, good night."

Finally able to walk away, with heavy steps, Kanno felt as if he had stepped into the darkness.He couldn't see the road, couldn't see the stars in the night sky, and the little warmth left in his palm cooled down rapidly, and he could only hear the roar of the cold wind while shaking.

"Mr. Kanno! Please remember to have dinner here tomorrow!"

Looking back at the two figures that were only a little bit bigger, Shen Ye didn't understand what he meant.

"Must come!"

After shouting again, he pushed Qingshui back, and he was the only one left on the street.

Without an invitation, without asking if it was convenient for the other party, Fujiwara Michiyuki forced him to go to the appointment with a very gentle voice.But Shenye didn't understand the meaning, he only knew that he was eaten to death, because of Shimizu, he would definitely go.

"Heh, heh heh... What a formidable man."

If he had met such a man on his way to promotion, he would have suffered even more hardships.But now it is a relationship that he is not good at, and Kanno wonders whether he will fail completely.

His body was so cold, but what kept ringing in his head were the last words that Shimizu had said so far.

"But I don't want you to hate me...I don't want you to hate me..."

Chewing repeatedly, accompanied by cold and paralyzed limbs, the bewildered Shen Ye returned to the room.He turned on the switch of the heater, waited for the temperature to rise, and then rolled up the quilt and remained motionless, not knowing what was in his eyes.

I don't know what to do anymore, there is nothing I can do about Kazuki Shimizu and Michiyuki Fujiwara.But she still wants Xiaoshu, and when she sees him being embraced by Dao Xue, she wishes that she is the one who can hug him.

"Om-"

The phone rang, and it took Kanno a long time to react. He took out the phone and found that it was the message from his mother.

"Are you off work? How are you doing?"

I haven't contacted my mother for a long time, because I was busy with work, and occasionally my mother sent me a message, but it was just perfunctory.He didn't have time to deal with it, and even if he had some spare time occasionally, he would use it to think about Qingshui.

"I'm off work, and I'm fine recently. I'm sorry for Jiu Shu's greetings."

Although he never talked to his mother so distantly on weekdays, it was different today, because under the great melancholy and bad mood, he had to find an outlet to vent.

"Tell me, what's the matter?"

Mother knows herself best.Thinking of this, Shino smiled unconsciously.From childhood to adulthood, as long as I have something to discuss with my mother, I will be polite first and fight for it with a good boy's attitude.So much so that my mother always scolds herself, and she will become obedient when something happens.

"Mom, I like someone."

"This is a good thing! Although it's a pity that you and Ah Cai can't continue, you can't be depressed because of this. I support you in pursuing your own happiness."

"That guy has someone who has been with him for eight years, and I may not have the chance."

If it was a mother, she should have comforted herself a little bit, right?Whether it is persuading oneself to give up or supporting oneself to continue to pursue, at a moment of confusion, what people may lose is only their sincerity, not the ability to choose a path.

"I support you to continue. You have never been a child who gives up easily, and you are not afraid of losing, right?"

"He's a man six years younger than me."

……

After nearly half an hour of long waiting, the phone finally vibrated again.Kanno held it, looked at the words on it, suddenly felt tired, and laughed while lying on the quilt.

"The reason you pursue him is just because you feel happy with him, not because he is a man. And, if the other party feels happier with you, you have to give him happiness."

Mother said so.