The ten-year trace of the soul of chess

"I lost."

On the day of the second round of the 46th ten-dan match of this battle, a chess player with golden bangs declared his defeat with difficulty like a choke in his throat in a game room of Nihon Ki-in Academy. black star.

But it seems to have gotten used to the taste of losing streak.

The feeling of unwillingness only stayed for a moment, and once the words of admitting defeat were uttered, he didn't care so much.

When packing up the chess pieces, Guangxin even comforted himself shamelessly. Even if he lost, he would still get the game fee. Although it was a little less, today's game is not nothing...

But no matter how light pretends not to care, how he paralyzes himself, if he loses, he loses.

After all, he couldn't get past this level in his heart.

After the review was over, when he stepped out of the chess academy, Guang looked up at the darkening sky, and suddenly he didn't want to go back so much.

But where can I go if I don't go home?I don't even know it myself.

He only knew clearly that at this moment, he could not go back.

He can't bring all the negativity in his heart into the house.

Maybe Liang doesn't care, but he does.

He didn't want Liang to see him like a lost dog, and he didn't want to repeat the mistake of last night, because he lost control of his emotions for a while, and then said something hurtful to Liang...

last night--

"This area, your 'flying' move is too thin, it would be better to use 'breaking'."

"Also here, you played too hastily. If you play after two hands, the timing will be just right."

……

When resuming the game together, he knew that Liang's analysis of his defeat was reasonable, but it was as if his pride was playing a trick, and his anger was blinded, and he blurted out: "Have you said enough? Why did you play chess against me?" Pointing fingers?!"

The moment he blurted out, he was taken aback, but he couldn't take it back.

He watched the blood on Liang's face turn pale after these words, and the whole person fell silent as if frozen, and just looked at himself in silence.

In an instant, Guang felt that the air in the living room was so oppressive that it was hard to breathe.

He was eager to explain something, but when he saw Liang forced a smile, he raised his hand and touched his face, with the same gentle and slightly hoarse voice, he said first, "Sorry, I didn't think about you." feeling..."

But what did Ryo do wrong?

He clearly did nothing wrong, said nothing wrong.

Guang was extremely flustered and regretful.

Seeing that Liang finished speaking, he was about to get up and leave. Guang hurriedly stood up, grabbed him, and hugged him tightly against Liang's back: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was talking nonsense, what I said just now It's not my truth, don't be angry..."

And his chess player chose to forgive him and tolerate him as usual, without even saying a single harsh word, but because of this, Guang felt even more uncomfortable in his heart, and always felt that he was farther away from Liang...

In midsummer and July, the scorching atmosphere gradually appeared in the air.

But in the evening, when the heat wave subsides and the south wind blows on the skin, you will still feel a little bit of coolness.

There was no place he wanted to go, so Guang just walked forward aimlessly, sorting out his recent chess results while walking.

The ten-stage battle is the second round of this battle, Black Star.

A battle for the title of Little Chess Master, Black Star.

It's a round of celebrity battle cycle, Black Star.

Honinbo title five rounds, black star.

In addition to the previous defeats, he has lost a total of three games in the 62nd Honinbo title battle, and he can't lose again no matter what...

Walking alone on the busy street, Guang was extremely confused.

He admits he's not in the right shape.

But what really made him sad was not that he was once again pushed to the forefront by the wave of public opinion, but because of him, the people he valued were also affected, and had to be in dire straits.

Over the past few days, the scene at the new book conference that day has always appeared in his mind from time to time.

Liang just stood outside the reporter's circle and looked at himself, his face pale and his brows furrowed.

As long as he thinks that this chess player, who has always been calm and calm, loses his original calm time and time again because of himself, his heart hurts like a needle.

It shouldn't be like this.

That's not how the script should be.

During the time when Liang was hospitalized, he obviously did a good job, he was obviously able to do it.

But this time, why didn't it work this time?

Perhaps because of the troubles in his heart, Guang's footsteps unconsciously slowed down, even procrastinating.

If the naked eye could see the path the light traveled, it would definitely be able to see a series of long drag marks dragged out by the heels.

When passing by a department store, Guang couldn't help but stop, standing by the window, looking at the face of the person reflected in the window glass.

His expression was a little numb.

He seemed to be trying to lift the corner of his lips, but it collapsed quickly.

The person in the glass, like him, couldn't laugh at all.

Light doesn't know why.

Over the years, it always seems to be the case.

As soon as I feel that I have become stronger, the big waves of life will immediately counteract it.

Whenever there is any sudden situation, his paper strength and calmness will all fall apart, and he will be beaten back to his vulnerable original form in an instant.

But what can he do?

What else can he do? !

He has worked so hard to hone his chess skills, he has worked so hard to get rid of distracting thoughts when playing chess, and he has also worked so hard to become like Liang to make his heart stronger.

But why—

By the way, there is also Taya-sensei...

Teacher Taya just confirmed himself, and just said that he has expectations for himself, but he, now he...

At dusk and sunset, the orange glow dragged out the hurried figures on the street.

Just as Hikari was standing alone among passers-by, Ryo had just finished his day's work and was walking back.

Taking advantage of his work, he has already inquired about the results of today's chess game, but he has become more and more hesitant.

In everyone's growth process, there are always certain dark days, no matter how confused or painful, no one wants to disturb the people close to him.

This has nothing to do with self-esteem.

He just wants to prove to everyone who cares about him that he has grown over the years.

Liang respects Guang's ideas, and once promised Guang that he should trust him, and believe that he has the ability to stand on his own.

But for some things, he can wait for the light to adjust slowly, but for some things, he can't wait.

As is the case now.

He saw Guang's chess score plummeting, he was anxious and worried, but he didn't know what to do.

Thinking of Guang's excited reaction last night, Liang's eyes dimmed slightly.

He was afraid that he would break Guang's heart...

Every time at this time, he would hate himself for being helpless.

It would be great if he could be better at dealing with interpersonal relationships and how to communicate.

But the parents of both parties must not interfere.

He knew that this must also be Guang's idea.

However, besides his closest parents, Liang suddenly didn't know who else he could ask for advice.

Along the way, he walked forward as if guided by something, and when he came back to his senses, Liang found himself standing at the door of the Go Club.

The author has something to say: