The difference between cloud and mud

Xiao Fengtai had already guessed Jiang Tong's destination, but he didn't expect Lily's tomb to be so close to the venue.Behind the community chapel, several rows of pure black marble are quietly embedded in the green grass.The surface of the tombstone is brightly cut, with a few lines of simple English, introducing the name and the date of birth and death.At the bottom is a small black-and-white portrait of men, women, young and old, of different races, smiling at visitors in the bright California sunshine.

Jiang Tong stopped in front of the most edge tombstone, bent down and gently placed the lily he bought in the future on the edge of the tombstone.

The two were silent for a while.Xiao Fengtai stood with him for a while, and finally couldn't help but speak out.

"Jiang Tong, I have no other meaning. But..."

"It's here." Jiang Tong smiled: "Let me introduce you."

"Long time no see." He greeted the tombstone softly, then turned to Xiao Fengtai: "Let me introduce formally. Xu Zhiyu, also known as lilyxu, is my legal partner. We first met two and a half years ago, and Lily participated in my A phase III clinical trial of ark inhibitors in the United States - this is a last-line therapy for ovarian cancer."

Jiang Tong made an explosive speech in a flat tone.Xiao Fengtai fell into confusion for a moment, not sure what his intentions were: "But you said she was the child's mother..."

"Dennis was born by herself. Lily was an orphan, and her adoptive parents died in a car accident when she was in college. She did artificial insemination after working... She worked in a law firm in New York for a few years, and the income was good... She wanted to Give yourself another home."

He looked at the small black and white photo on the tombstone, feeling a little dazed.The young woman in the photo is radiant, with long eyebrows slanted into her temples, and a mouthful of white teeth in a smile. Although her hair reaches her shoulders, she has a neutral and tough temperament.

He had never seen such a lily.When we met for the first time, Lily was wearing a short tan wig, and she tried to hide her sickness with makeup as much as possible, but she was too thin, her skin was dry and loose, and her walking was shaky, making her look like a soaked, wrinkled and flattened woman. Then dry the filmmaker.

Her smile is bright and cheerful, just like when she was healthy.However, the shadow of death is getting deeper and deeper. A fire that is about to be extinguished in the wind and snow, the more intense the flame, the colder the onlookers feel.

She brought Dennis over for the first visit.At that time, Dennis was still a chubby little man who couldn't speak clearly, his round face was covered with a children's mask, and when he walked, his calf moved back and forth, which reminded Jiang Tong of the neighbor's corgi.When Jiang Tong and Lily communicated about their condition, Dennis didn't say a word, and a pair of big eyes above the mask turned back and forth between Jiang Tong and Lily.

"The next period of treatment needs to be hospitalized. It is best for someone at home to take care of the child." After explaining the treatment precautions, Jiang Tong hesitated for a moment and told Lily: "If the child is healthy, it is best not to come to the hospital often."

If Jiang Tong already knew Lily's background, he would know that he had stabbed her severely at this moment.However, the woman just smiled: "Thank you doctor for reminding me."

"Later we still saw Dennis from time to time, so I didn't have a good impression of Lily at first, until my colleague explained her situation to me... Later we became friends and found that we could talk to each other quite well."

"Then you fell in love with each other?" Xiao Fengtai didn't realize that there was a trace of sarcasm in his tone.

"There is a bright element in her character, I like it very much." Jiang Tong is very frank: "It's a pity that her condition develops too fast, and we don't have the intention to talk about love."

Jiang Tong's eyes dimmed. Lily had a strong adverse reaction to the ark inhibitor and had to stop taking the drug early.The tumor progressed explosively after stopping the drug, and she didn't last long.

This is not Jiang Tong's fault.All possible extreme hazards are clearly listed on the disclaimer.But deep down in his heart, he still felt guilty towards Lily. He couldn't forget that Lily came to the clinic on the first day, holding Dennis by the hand.The boy didn't speak the whole time, but his eyes were bright and hopeful.

"Lily has no immediate family members alive, so before she died, she hoped that I could adopt Dennis. Her medical expenses were reimbursed by the company, and the real estate and investment under her name were enough to raise Dennis. But the adoption conditions in the United States are harsh, and we can only get a certificate first—"

"Are you crazy?" Xiao Fengtai interrupted Jiang Tong suddenly.

"It's not just you, this lilyxu's brain is also broken. Do you have any idea? What does it mean to raise a child?" Xiao Fengtai trembled with anger: "Did you join some cult church in the United States in the past ten years? Marty your life The kind of Jesus upper body? You can't do such a thing even if you have a little bit of calm calculations when you dumped me!"

A rotten ethical plot that even third-rate screenwriters in Hollywood dare not write!What does Jiang Tong think of himself?He gave up... gave up so much to get to where he is today, in the end just to travel across the ocean to be a cheap father for others?

Part of him sneered inwardly.Jiang Tong has always been willing to seize the moral high ground, and is ready to lend a helping hand to those around him anytime and anywhere.This is the price of hypocrisy.He told too many lies, and he really thought he was a saint.

Even so, he went too far.Spend more than ten or twenty years raising a child hand in hand!Does Jiang Tong know what the consequences of his momentary kindness are?

Xiao Fengtai suddenly felt depressed.Where is it his turn to think about these things for Jiang Tong?Many mornings, he woke up alone, looking at the clouds floating outside the window, his future, Jiang Tong's future, intertwined back and forth, he was careful not to let go of any clues, but he couldn't find a way out.And what about Jiang Tong?What a casual person!Be decisive when withdrawing, and pay regardless of the cost when you want to give.All his inferences and plans became ridiculous and pitiful in front of Jiang Tong.

Xiao Fengtai's unexpected anger caught Jiang Tong by surprise: "You...you calm down first."

"Fuck you." Xiao Fengtai twitched the corner of his mouth, with a sarcastic smile.The anger dies, leaving only embers cold and pale.

"Have you ever thought about how many people can accept you to start a family with such an old child? Not to mention whether he is willing to be brought into a new family by you, you just put your whole life in it, do you know? He sighed, "You are even more stupid than I thought."

"I don't think adoption is a sacrifice!" Jiang Tong raised her voice: "Just like Lily, I wanted to start a family for myself at that time!"

"Then play a sad single father? The woman who is interested in you asks you to drink, you say no, I have to get off work at six o'clock and drive home to fry hamburgers and steaks for my son and mix them with salad. After the son falls asleep, you sit alone Watching romance movies from the 80s under the light, and miss your youthful love while watching?" Xiao Fengtai sneered: "Jiang Tong, no one watched this kind of drama 50 years ago!"

"Yes! That's what it means! Whatever you say!" Jiang Tong also yelled at him: "Do you have to let me confess to you word by word!"

Xiao Fengtai was silent in astonishment, he finally understood what Jiang Tong meant.

"Why tell me this?" he finally asked, "Why now?"

"Because I regret it."

"I'm not saying I regret adopting Dennis... I asked you that question in the taxi and you didn't answer. I thought about a lot of things along the way."

"I told myself before that I just want to be happy in this moment. But now I find that I am more greedy than I thought."

Ten years ago, Jiang Tong could not think about the future, but ten years later, Jiang Tong can no longer be satisfied with the precarious happiness, not only at this moment, he wants every moment, forever.

He looked into Xiao Fengtai's eyes, waiting for his answer.

Xiao Fengtai staggered his gaze.

"I'm going back first." He looked down at his watch: "I have an appointment tonight, please contact me later."

He passed by Jiang Tong and quickly walked towards the venue.

Almost like running away.

Jiang Tong stood where he was, looking at Xiao Fengtai's uneasy and elegant back, and smiled wryly.He didn't expect Xiao Fengtai to agree, but when this moment really came, he realized that the impact of reality is far stronger than imagined.

But this is just the beginning.Xiao Fengtai is no longer the naive and almost naive boy ten years ago, nor is he as weak and confused as he was back then.Jiang Tong adjusted his collar, ready to catch up with Xiao Fengtai.He never gives up easily on what he really wants.

The phone rang suddenly, Jiang Tong glanced at it, hesitated for a moment, and put it to his ear.

"Senior, long time no see," he said as he walked out of the church quickly: "Can you find me?"

"You're not at the venue anymore?" Pei Jing still got to the point: "It was written on the agenda that the btk27 seminar is in Room 203, and I didn't see you."

"Are you interested in btk?" Jiang Tong said unexpectedly: "I can send you a copy of the materials later. To be honest, there are no substantial innovation breakthroughs in research and development, but if you have any questions, please feel free to contact me."

"For God's sake." Jiang Tong could almost imagine Pei Jing rolling his eyes while talking: "Did we really work in a laboratory?"

"I'm working part-time as a consultant for a pharmaceutical company to help them screen targets. They sent me a paper of yours a few days ago."

"Are you free tonight? Let's talk about CD30."