forget the soul

He knocked twice, followed by two more times, the door opened, and it was A Peng who came to open the door, holding a bottle of beer in one hand, wearing a bathrobe, his hair was a little wet, and the belt of the bathrobe was loose. A single knot and bare feet.He smiled and asked Yu Rong: "Would you like a bottle?"

A Peng blocked Yu Rong's sight, he couldn't see Lin Wangyue, so he stared at A Peng, pointed to the room, and said in a cold voice, "I'll come to find him."

A Peng smiled, turned sideways, and made room for the door.

Yu Rong went in, and muttered angrily, "Drinking from noon to night, haven't you been tired yet?"

As soon as he raised his eyelids, he saw Lin Wangyue, and he was sitting on the sofa chair by the window. The Mediterranean-style window made of strips of white horizontal wooden boards was open, and the two-layer white gauze curtains were drawn to the very wall. position, the wind blows Lin Wangyue's hair, and blows over the bathrobe he casually put on.He, too, was barefoot, with his legs propped over the edge of a nearby double bed.He didn't wear his bathrobe, and shook hands with both hands on either side of the sofa chair.He had a cigarette between his right fingers.The seascape outside the window was dark blue, and Lin Wangyue's eyes were dark.

A Peng closed the door and asked, "Should I drink something else?"

Yu Rong stood still and did not speak.He looked at the double bed. There were two short sleeves and two floral pants on the bed.A Peng said: "I saw that his clothes were wet. He said he had no other clothes to change, so he brought a set for him."

Yu Rong nodded and sat on the bed.A Peng leaned against the wall to drink and said, "If you have something to do..."

Lin Wangyue was eating a cigarette with a dazed look on his face: "I don't know what's the matter with him." He tossed his hair and asked Yu Rong, "What's the matter with you?"

Yu Rong looked at Lin Wangyue and asked, "Did I bother you?"

His voice was still cold and hard.

A Peng laughed, gently.He found a pair of flip-flops by the bed, put them on, and walked out drinking wine: "I feel that in the current situation, it might be better for me to leave first."

Yu Rong stared at Lin Wangyue without squinting.When he heard the door open, he saw Lin Wangyue and A Peng waving their fingers and making a phone call next to his ear: "He finished talking about him, I'll contact you."

Yu Rong said, "I'm still here."

Abang closed the door.

Yu Rong then asked Lin Wangyue: "Is he serious or not?"

Lin Wangyue bit the cigarette, raised her body, grabbed the belt of the bathrobe that was pressed under her buttocks, tied it casually, tied the front of the skirt, let out a breath, ate the cigarette, and dusted off the ash, taking it easy Say, "Is it related to you?"

"Haven't you broken up with your boyfriend yet?"

Lin Wangyue put the ashtray on her lower abdomen, looked at Yu Rong, and squeezed out a few forehead lines on her forehead: "The boss interferes too much in the private life of employees, do you know that there is a special name?"

Yu Rong stopped looking at him, his eyes found a small black spot on the carpet, and he fixed his eyes on it.He rubbed his palms on his knees.He doesn't ring.

"It's called workplace harassment."

"Will you go to bed?" Yu Rong asked.

"At your stage, it's called sexual harassment in the workplace," Lin Wangyue said.

"Don't play word games with me!" Yu Rong grabbed his knees, pressed his voice, and yelled.

"Hello." Lin Wangyue shouted, Yu Rong glanced at him, and then quickly fell back.

"Hello." Lin Wangyue threw a cigarette butt over, hit Yu Rong on the back of his hand, and bounced to the ground.The little black spot on the carpet could not be found, so Yu Rong picked up the cigarette butt, held it in his hand, walked quickly to the sofa chair, threw it into the ashtray on Lin Wangyue's belly, and scolded him: "Burn it up!" what to do!"

He still doesn't look at him.

Lin Wangyue kicked him, Yu Rong glanced at him, and sat down again.This time it was very close to Lin Wangyue, facing him directly.Lin Wangyue's voice was thus closer to him.He said, "You don't care."

Yu Rong clasped his hands: "If I don't come, are you going to bed?"

Lin Wangyue laughed, her toes touched Yu Rong's elbow, Yu Rong stepped on Yu Rong's hand, Yu Rong stepped on Yu Rong's hand, and Yu Rong had to look at him and stared at him: "What are you doing?"

Lin Wangyue raised one finger, then raised the second, and then the third: "First, you can't control it, second, you can't control it, and third, you still can't control it."

Yu Rong's heart was beating fast, and he caught Lin Wangyue with his eyes: "Why can't I?"

Lin Wangyue had an expression as if she heard the Arabian Nights: "Please, you paid five thousand, and you only want to chat."

Yu Rong shouted: "What's the same! The body bought by money, money...!"

"That's the flesh, isn't it? Otherwise? You still want to buy my sincerity?" Lin Wangyue rubbed her temples with a headache, and put the ashtray on the coffee table.

Yu Rong shuddered, called him, and said, "That day in Suzhou, at Intercontinental, you saw me, and you came over. You came over, and you sat next to me!"

Lin Wangyue looked at him with a smile: "Are you okay? I can see that you are self-centered, but I didn't expect you to be so self-centered." He put his legs down, stepped on the carpet, and sat down to talk to Yu Rong , "Then let me tell you clearly again now, I saw you and recognized you..."

Yu Rong interrupted impatiently: "We've only been in the same class for three months! We haven't seen each other for ten years, and you still recognize me!"

Lin Wangyue became unhappy: "I'm not face-blind, I'm also very good at remembering people's faces, can you listen to people's words before interrupting?"

Yu Rong licked the skin of his lips, clenched his hands into fists and squeezed them on both sides of his body, and fell silent.He tried to meet the cold gaze from Lin Wangyue's black eyes.

"I'll say it again, when I saw you, I went there just to have a drink. Also, I told you yesterday, maybe you were drunk at that time, you didn't remember, or you didn't listen at all, Now..." Lin Wangyue patted Yu Rong, forcing him to look at himself, "Now you should be sober, Yu Rong, listen, I'm not interested in you, I won't be with you, I won't be yours Boyfriend, your lover, you are not my type, if you are willing to pay, we can go to bed and sleep."

"What about A Peng? Are you willing to sleep with him without paying him?"

"Yeah, he's not bad." Lin Wangyue shrugged and said.

Yu Rong hated and wanted to speak, but Lin Wangyue rushed ahead of him: "You love me, but I said we couldn't, and you got mad?"

"I'm not! I'm not angry! I'm not mad!" Yu Rong said loudly.

"Well, from now on, if you harass me because of my private life again, it's a stalker, you know? I've made it clear to you anyway, I don't care if you continue to wishful thinking I really like me, do you want to have a story to tell in front of a group of friends, or do you want to immerse yourself in some ulterior motive of artistic creation to stimulate inspiration, anyway, we will not be in Let's go together." Lin Wangyue said, looking at Yu Rong with half-drawn eyelashes and some shadows on his face.

"You are still so young, if you want to love, find someone who will love you." Lin Wangyue also said.

Yu Rong followed closely and asked, "Why can't you find someone I love?"

"Isn't this how couples finally get married? Do you think it's love that brings them together? It's not being loved that makes them choose to comfort each other."

Yu Rong questioned: "According to what you say, is there no one in the world who truly loves each other and stays together?"

"Of course, but when we talk about love, what do you think we are talking about?"

Yu Rong let out a sigh of relief. He touched his pocket but couldn't find anything. Lin Wangyue handed him a cigarette and a lighter.Yu Rong lit a cigarette, took a sip, and said, "Stop watching Carver."

Lin Wangyue also lit a cigarette, biting the cigarette and talking: "Did you know that for a person who smokes///drugs, the first time he takes the medicine is the most enjoyable, and every time he takes an injection after that, he wants to get back the first time. That feeling, but that feeling is a once-in-a-lifetime///feeling, and it can never be replicated." He looked at Yu Rong through the smoke: "Every heartbeat is attenuation, like life, every time the heart grows Every dance is one step closer to death. Love, every time you love, is weak and sparse. I think only first love is the closest to the essence of love."

"Some people don't know what love is when they first fall in love!"

"Isn't the person you fall in love with when you don't understand love the true, instinctive love? After you understand love, what you love is just the person you think you will fall in love with."

They are so close, feet to feet, the smoke they exhale is mixed together, not separated from each other, the sea breeze is blowing, the room is brightly lit, and the gauze is fluttering, Yu Rong seems to be unable to see Lin Wangyue, he has become Transparent, like a veil, he might disappear from his eyes and from his side at any time.

He probably never existed anywhere in the world.

Yu Rong said: "You are too negative. I have seen it for a long time. You look at everything with a vision of death and death. That's why others use wedding dresses as the finale at the end of the fashion show, and you wear a black gauze with a scythe. Death."

"You can't refute me, just say I'm negative." Lin Wangyue said.

Yu Rong said: "A Peng is still my friend after all, you guys..."

Lin Wangyue raised the corner of her mouth: "For you, a friend is just someone you can show off when you want to elevate yourself, and someone you can belittle when you want to set off yourself, isn't it? You care about friendship? Come on."

His contempt was easily revealed, and Yu Rong fell silent, eating cigarettes.

Lin Wangyue said: "So you have opinions about my private life."

Yu Rong shook his head.

"What is that? Let me remind you, don't want to vent it on me when you are angry with others. Find me to vent. Whoever makes you angry, go to whoever."

Yu Rong lowered his hands, stopped eating cigarettes, and stopped ringing.

"Why don't you speak?"

Yu Rong sat uncomfortably and sweated a little. He wanted to say something, but he still couldn't say it, as if it was stuck in his throat. How could he say it?

"Are you dumb?" Lin Wangyue touched his knee with her knee.

"Your dad is urging you to get married? You haven't come out with him yet?"

"The other students have all become directors of their films in theaters. This one was shortlisted for the Golden Horse and Golden Statue, and that one was shortlisted for Cannes Berlin. No one wants your script?"

"Oh, you still come out to shoot documentaries, you summon souls, you want to see your mother, but you can't see her."

"You said that you want to stand on the standpoint of criticizing feudal superstition, but in your heart you long for this superstition to be true. You want to believe that people have souls after death, and you want to believe that your mother gave it to you because she cared about you. You dream, her soul has never left, she still remembers you, she will come to see you. But she didn't come, not once."

"Yu Rong, why don't you speak?"

Yu Rong covered his face, his mind was full of fragmented sentences, and his head was filled with scattered and chaotic fragments.He thought of Lao Yu, the children wrestling together in Xiangxuehai's private room, a grilled shrimp in A Peng's hand, the shrimp was too soft to be shaken by A Peng, and he also thought of a restaurant in New York. In the ward, where Central Park can be seen, his mother gradually became cold and stiff beside him.He thought of countless nights, countless mornings, sections of naked backs, sheets that had been warmed and then cooled.He thought of him walking behind a group of adults with his headphones plugged in, his mp3 dead, and two women talking behind him, and he could hear them clearly.They said, to give Teacher Qu face and call her a teacher; they said, you said her son knows his mother... so old, how could he not know.Also quite a guy.Yeah.Yeah.

"Because..." Yu Rong wanted to cry, but his eye circles were dry and he couldn't cry out. He just panted heavily, like a person who was crying bitterly and couldn't breathe smoothly.

"because……"

"Because... no one has ever asked me, no one... I can only sit still and obey, because those are adults' affairs, children don't care, can't care, don't talk too much, we are all for your own good, I can only walk away... They said that this is a tradition, your mother must be buried in the earth, and must be taken back to Suzhou for burial. No one has ever asked me, I don't tell, they don't ask, they don't talk... ...It seems that if you don’t say anything, everything will pass in silence, and it seems that keeping your mouth shut means that you are understood and forgiven.”

Lin Wangyue turned on the TV and kept changing channels.

Yu Rong took a deep breath, looked at him through his fingers, and asked quietly: "Are you another me?"

"Are you crazy?" Lin Wangyue rolled her eyes and scolded.

Yu Rong closed his eyes, shook his head, and sat bent down: "I don't know...you're right, I'm pissed at home, I can't do anything, I'm a total loser, I have no friends, no lover ...Maybe because of this, I hate myself very much, I hate myself very much, but I can't completely hate, completely loathe, so you appear, you are my illusion, you come to criticize me as worthless, you Cut myself open and show myself."

Lin Wangyue said, "I beg you to watch less movies."

His ending sound became lighter, and the sound of a news item on the TV rang.

"The hotel industry tycoon Pu Yue was born in Macau this morning and passed away."

Yu Rong heard a few footsteps, he separated his palms and looked, Lin Wangyue left the sofa chair, he stood in front of the TV and pressed his cell phone to make a call.Yu Rong was taken aback, this was the first time he saw who Lin Wangyue called.

The phone was connected, and Lin Wangyue spoke Cantonese: "I want my ring."

He was very angry: "That's the ring my grandma promised to give me! When I was underage, you said that I could inherit it when I was an adult, but when I became an adult, they said that I had no right to inherit! It was not written in the will at all. I know she wrote it in In the will! I want to sue you! I will find a lawyer right away!!"

He also said: "I will come! Why can't I come?"

He paced back and forth in the room, scratching his hair, throwing cigarette cases, lighters, and remote controls, almost hysterical.Yu Rong was stunned, the illusory Lin Wangyue who didn't know where he was suddenly fell into the world, and suddenly landed in the sea view room of this seaside hotel on the border of Thailand.

Lin Wangyue made a second phone call. This time, his expression was more like a real person, and it was very complicated, but Yu Rong had never seen such a kind of expression on him or on others. state.Lin Wangyue inserted her fingers into her hair, and the fluorescent lights of the TV flickered on his face, and his expression also flickered unsteadily. Sometimes he seemed to be rational and resolute, and sometimes he was confused and hesitant. Even revealing a share of fragility.He was like a drowning man clutching at a handful of straw, wondering if the straw would save his life, not sure where the straw would take him.

Lin Wangyue said to the person on the other end of the phone, "I want a suit. The day after tomorrow."

He stopped in his tracks, his tone calmed down a lot, he was no longer crazy, it was just pain, the pain did not come from the previous anger, the pain was purely because of what to say.It was the person on the other end of the phone that made him suffer.

"You saw the news. The old place. No, don't come...don't come..."

Yu Rong knew that it turned out that Lin Wangyue would also encounter such moments of struggle in his life, and there was also someone who would make him struggle like this.He fully understood that he would not love him.He can't love anyone anymore.

Lin Wangyue threw away her phone, turned up the TV volume, and said to Yu Rong, "Don't you like shooting funerals the most? Are you going to Macau?"

"Do you know this Pu Yuesheng?" Yu Rong tried to ask.

"He is my father." Lin Wangyue said expressionlessly.

At the same time, the narration of the news was full of emotion: "We can see Mr. Pu's two wives and six children's family are dispatched, and the sadness is beyond words."

forget the soul