he is beautiful

Regardless of my objection, my mother enthusiastically carried Yuan Sheng and Xia Qing back to my home.

She asked Auntie Chen, the nanny, to cook more dishes, and then she remembered to ask Yuan Sheng and the others: "I'm really bothering you, but come to my house to study, is there any problem with my parents?"

Xia Qing smiled obediently and said, "It's okay, Auntie, I've already made an agreement with my parents."

"That's good, you are Xia Qing, right? Auntie knows you, and you are really an excellent boy." My mother held Xia Qing's hand affectionately and smiled brightly.

I sat on the sofa and put my feet crossed on the coffee table with a snap.

I am very dissatisfied, but my mother treats me as air.

She dragged Xia Qing to sit aside and ordered Aunt Chen to bring some fruit snacks.

Then, my mother turned her gaze to Yuan Sheng, and I even felt her eyes glow.

Yuan Sheng is the existence of some parents who wish to snatch it for themselves as a child.

She said to Yuan Sheng: "Xiao Sheng, my Zhou Mu didn't study hard before, and just fooled around like a ghost! Fortunately, he is willing to focus on his study now, but he has delayed it for so long that now The foundation is too poor, you are good friends, please help him more, okay?"

I felt chills when I heard this, and secretly gave Yuan Sheng a wink, warning him not to agree.

But Yuan Sheng, a bastard, doesn't listen to me at all.

He smiled slightly and said to my mother, "Don't worry, Auntie."

"Depend on!"

Yuan Sheng ignored my excitement, paused, and said, "I will let him be admitted to a university."

For a moment, everyone in the living room looked at Yuan Sheng in astonishment, some of them didn't understand what he meant by the last sentence.

Li Cheng: "You, are you kidding me?"

Yuan Sheng didn't smile, his expression was extremely serious.

"Come with me!" I stood up, grabbed Yuan Sheng's arm and dragged him into my bedroom.

Raising my hand to slam the door shut, I turned to look at him, and after looking at him for a long time, I asked him, "Are you trying to make it up to me?"

Yuan Sheng: "It's my fault that your study has become like this."

"Your fault?" I frowned at him.

It was true that I abandoned my studies because of him, but to put it ruthlessly, whether it is life or death, good or bad, it is all your own business, people just don’t like you, what’s wrong?

What's more, according to Yuan Sheng's personality, he would not attribute this fault to himself.

So I said to him: "Yuan Sheng, this is not like you."

But he smiled, with a hint of bitterness, and he said: "People will change. Although I don't want to be like this, it is indeed a luxury to keep rational forever."

I didn't quite understand what he meant, but it didn't stop me from making my own choice. I asked him, "Do you really think I have to be admitted to a good university?"

Yuan Sheng looked at me with doubts in his dark eyes.

"No." I said to him, "I just want to try my best to fight for once, and I just want to give my parents an explanation."

"A college entrance examination, a good university will not determine my life, it is just a turning point, I am still so young, I always have to move forward, don't I?"

Yuan Sheng: "But a good university is the best starting point for us when we enter adulthood."

"But I don't need the best starting point, what I need is the best me."

Yuan Sheng: "The best...me?"

I thought about it, and said to him: "I don't have so many complicated requirements for myself. I try my best in everything, which is the best I can do. There may be regrets, but there will be no regrets."

After a pause, I continued: "You look down on me who lives by my parents, who wastes time doing nothing, and who lives in a muddle without goals..."

I took a slow breath, suppressed the soreness in my throat, and continued: "Those words of yours, even though it's been so long, still make people feel very embarrassing."

I smiled, looked into his eyes, and told him seriously: "You're right about those words, but Yuan Sheng, you're not entirely right! I'm actually not that bad..."

"I know!" Yuan Sheng interrupted me, and he took a step forward.

I watched him raise his hand to touch mine, but he finally took it back.

He held his hands tightly, with suppressed pain in his expression, he lowered his head, and his voice was slightly hoarse: "I know, you are actually very good, much better than me, but I was too selfish at that time, I !I now……"

Yuan Sheng stopped talking, he couldn't say more to me, and finally he could only end with "My brother now occasionally goes back to have dinner with his parents".

I froze for a moment, then gave a stiff smile: "Really? That's good, your parents finally accepted him."

Yuan Sheng shook his head and smiled wryly: "Their relationship is still very stiff. My mother has softened, but my father still hates homosexuality, but it's not bad. Everyone is restraining their temper and making compromises with each other."

I thought for a while and said, "That's because there is you in the middle, a perfect son who soothes the hearts of his parents; a younger brother who was raised by his own hands, who makes him feel homesick."

Yuan Sheng looked at me in surprise, and suddenly laughed, with tears in his eyes, he said: "Why did I think you were stupid before? You are obviously such a transparent person."

Looking into his moist eyes, I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what else to say.

The two of us can't be together all the time. He didn't want to before, but now he can't.

We were silent with each other until I turned to leave.

Yuan Sheng laughed again, and he said: "I really regret it, why didn't I fall in love with you when I didn't like you that much before? If we were together then, maybe we have broken up for various reasons now Now, it won't be like this, now..."

What he said made me laugh. I can't imagine what would happen now if we were together.

Is it to exhaust the feelings in immaturity?

Or is the relationship getting stronger and the bond getting deeper?

I'm not sure which one the ending will lean towards, but my hunch is the latter.

And you who wanted to break up at that time, with me, maybe you can't leave completely.

In my opinion, he should actually feel lucky.

But I wouldn't tell him that, so I said, "Maybe, who knows."

"But now, you have to promise me two things. First, don't worry about my studies anymore."

Yuan Sheng's long eyelashes drooped, and he said, "Okay."

"Second... we don't want to meet again, and we have to be strangers when we meet. After the college entrance examination, we don't want to contact each other anymore, and we go to our own lives."

Yuan Sheng suddenly raised his head and looked at me, his eyes became fierce in an instant.

But he is like a mass of burning fierce fire, which will be extinguished after all.

The madness in his eyes was only embers, and he asked me in a hoarse voice: "You can no longer..."

What can't be done?

I didn't let him say it.

"No." I told him categorically, "It's a fate, it's good to get together and good to break up. You must do the two things I said."

I looked at him with a firm expression, letting him understand that I had no room to refute.

So he said "Okay!" in an inaudible voice, then opened the door and left in embarrassment.

I looked at his back, no longer so tall and straight, no longer so good-looking.

I closed the door and sat on the sofa alone. The winter night always came early, and I fell silent in the dark shadow.

I actually hate him, I actually love him, I actually don't know myself.

"I don't want you anymore."

I whispered to myself.