he is beautiful

I want to run away from him, as far away as possible.

I booked the fastest flight out of the country.

The place where I stayed with him was separated by the time difference between day and night, and the boundless ocean.

The world is so big, and we are so far apart, we may never see each other again in this life.

I can isolate him from my life, forget him bit by bit, and finally become indifferent.

However, he appeared in my dreams, time and time again.

He comes to my mind, time and time again.

I can't stop it, I can't resist it, I can only be slaughtered wantonly by emotions and memories.

I don't want to dream about him anymore, and gradually become afraid to fall asleep.

I don't want to think of him again and again inadvertently, and gradually become unwilling to wake up.

I started drinking and eventually became an alcoholic.

On another night of drunkenness, my dad found me.

I was so drunk that I couldn't walk, he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the bar like a dead body.

Back at the hotel where I was staying, my dad locked the door, pulled out his belt and started beating me.

Whip whip see blood.

My dad was a soldier, half his life as a soldier, the force of a rage can't be endured by ordinary people.

At first, I lay on the ground in a daze and let him beat me. After I woke up from the pain, I started to hide everywhere.

But at this time, I was unconscious and my feet were sloppy. No matter how I hid, no matter how I hid, I couldn't escape my father's beatings.

A feeling of sourness welled up in my heart, I stopped running, instead I rushed over and hugged my dad's leg, crying loudly, I said, "Dad, don't hit me, I'm in pain."

Pain all over the body, everywhere.

I seldom cry, let alone cry so heart-piercingly in front of my dad. He was stunned for a moment, and the blood-stained leather belt fell to the ground.

The memory behind it began to become very blurred, but according to my dad's guards, I cried and convulsed directly due to long-term malnutrition and emotional over-excitement.

After waking up the next day, our father and son met again, and we were a little embarrassed with each other.

My dad wants to take me back to China immediately. My injury is not convenient to treat here. The doctor may call the police immediately after seeing me.

I didn't resist, it's not that I couldn't run, but I found that it was the same everywhere.

Before I really let go, I couldn't escape him, so I could only bite the bullet and go back to face him.

After I got home, I practiced for another three days. After I was able to run and jump, I was escorted by my dad and thrown to school.

That day, the sun was warm.

Teacher Lei was teaching Chinese, and I stood at the door of the classroom and called out, "Report."

When the voice sounded suddenly, everyone stopped and looked at me.

I saw Yuan Sheng. Although I hadn't seen him for more than half a month, it felt like a lifetime away.

Because of the backlight, he squinted his eyes slightly, his long eyelashes looked like a frightened butterfly, facing me, trembling slightly.

I took a look and looked away, returned to my seat, and listened to the class quietly.

After class, many students gathered around me, and they chirped to express their greetings.

They all thought I was just taking a little longer sick leave.

Some people are very envious.

Only Li Cheng saw something was wrong, there was worry in his eyes, and his eyes wandered between me and Yuan Sheng.

I ignored him, lying on the table and looking out the window.

Autumn is here, and the green leaves on the big tree are withered and yellow, and they are falling off one by one.

During self-study last night, the head teacher asked me to talk. We talked for half an hour according to the usual practice. Finally, when I got up to leave, the head teacher asked me: "Do you still want to be at the same table with Yuan Sheng?"

I asked him, "What does my dad mean?"

"The time in the third year of high school is already tight. You have taken so many vacations. Your father is afraid that you will not be able to keep up with the progress of the school. Yuan Sheng is not partial to subjects, and his grades are very top-notch. What your father means is that you two At the same table, he can take you."

I can see that the head teacher is very embarrassed. This is my dad's request, not her wish.

She didn't want me to drag Yuan Sheng down at this critical moment, a student who is very likely to become the top student in the college entrance examination.

I smiled and said, "I can't get along with Yuan Sheng, didn't we fight last time, did you forget?"

The head teacher looked a little more relaxed, but still said: "But I heard that you have reconciled."

I didn't have the heart to say these false scenes to her anymore, and said directly: "I don't want to be at the same table with him, I will explain this matter clearly to my dad, teacher, don't worry."

After I finished speaking, I left and opened the door, but Yuan Sheng was standing outside.

He held a stack of test papers in his hand, and we looked at each other without speaking for a while.

It wasn't until the head teacher came over that I passed Yuan Sheng and strode back to the classroom.

Back in the classroom, everyone is studying, and everything seems quiet.

This is a busy quiet, everyone is working hard for their future, but I can't even do a reading question.

If you can't fit in, you will appear out of place.

I felt irritable, threw the pen, and left the classroom under the surprised eyes of others.

Yuan Sheng happened to come back at this time, I pretended to ignore him, but he stopped me: "It's class time, where are you going?"

I ignored him and passed him in the hallway, but he grabbed my arm.

I stopped in surprise and turned to look at him: "Do you know what you are doing?"

Yuan Sheng avoided my real question, and replied: "It's class time now, you can't just run out, the class teacher will come to inspect later, you leave, I'm the class monitor, the teacher will make trouble for me."

"Are you afraid of this?" I smiled, shook off Yuan Sheng's hand, and looked at him fiercely, "Yuan Sheng, after what you said that night, if you are really smart, you should never die with me." Interactions! You should know what kind of person I am, Zhou Mu, so don't provoke me again, make me anxious, I will make you regret being born in this world!"

Yuan Sheng looked at me silently, I can't describe that look, it was complicated and obscure.

But what is certain is that there is no fear in it, but it is mixed with pity that I can't bear.

I grabbed his collar, and the veins on my forehead bulged out of anger: "Why do you look at me like that?"

But he said: "You don't want to study? Don't go to university? Just because of this useless love? How old are you, and you are still so naive? Do you want to be protected by your father for the rest of your life, living in a novel? Living in a romantic drama inside?"

I didn't expect him to say this to me, but I found a fact: "You think I'm ridiculous?"

He said: "I just think your life is too unrealistic. Why can't you think more about the future, think more about your parents?"

"How do you know I haven't thought about it? You... Forget it, what are you talking about?" I pushed Yuan Sheng away, and he staggered back two steps. I pointed at his nose and warned, "Don't Pretend to be a good person here! Don’t get rid of your guilt with me! Whether I, Zhou Mu, will live or die in the future has nothing to do with you! Remember it for me!”

Yuan Sheng looked at me, frowning tightly, and almost at the same time, we each turned and left.

When he returned to the bright classroom, his path ahead was a predictable trajectory: he passed the bridge of the college entrance examination, entered a famous university, found a high-paying and decent job after graduation, and then struggled for a career, married a wife and had children, and supported his parents.

And I climbed over the wall and walked aimlessly in the dark and dirty alley. The road ahead was dark, just like my future was blurred.

I can't study hard in the same classroom as Yuan Sheng, just as I can't walk the same life path as him.

In fact, with the help of my parents, I can walk more smoothly than him, but I don't want to.

Just such reluctance, I am destined to become a sinner.

I sneered, mocking myself.

Walking around a corner, I saw someone I didn't expect at all.