escape from the world

Nie Shi couldn't resist his adoptive parents. Once this matter got to the school, they would be the only ones to be unlucky.Various realistic factors forced Nie Shi to compromise, and even cooperated with his adoptive mother to go to the hospital.Standing at the door of the hospital, the woman was ashamed to go in again, telling those in white coats and others that her son was gay.

At the entrance of the hospital, the adoptive mother grabbed Nie Shi's collar: "Are you going to change it?! Do you think you're going to change it?" Many people were watching, but she didn't feel anything staring back.

Nie Shi slowly opened his adoptive mother's hand, his voice was still calm, as if this matter had nothing to do with him, "Calm down."

"How do you want me to calm down?! You want me...you!" Her voice raised and lowered, her brows were furrowed, and the nasolabial folds danced on her forehead, "You have grown up and become wild, we can't control you Is it?!"

"No."

"I'll ask you again, will you change it?"

"Mom." Nie Shi yelled, which was the last time he yelled, "I didn't do anything wrong, what should I change?" The tall man lowered his head slightly, bent his back, and set his eyes on the woman's hair , and didn't seem to see anything, just floating in the air.

The woman's tears fell down, and her heart ached from the sound of "Mom", and she was still stubborn, "Don't call me that, I told your dad two days ago, if you don't change , don’t come back in the future, so as not to teach your brother badly, we will treat you as if we never raised you.”

Nie Shi's eyes drooped, and he didn't speak again no matter what the woman said this time.

They quarreled until late, like the previous few days, Nie Shi didn't go back until late at night.

Fang Chen didn't sleep all this time, when he saw Nie Shi came back, he rubbed his eyes and muttered, "You're coming back too late." As he spoke, he sat up from the sofa, walked up to Nie Shi, squeezed himself into Nie Shi's arms, and hugged him. live.His hands and feet were cold, but Nie Shi was colder than him, and the cold air went straight into his body, twisting his heart.He grabbed Nie Shi's shoulder, and firmly held his fingertips turning white, without letting go.

He didn't ask anything, and Nie Shi didn't say anything.Both understand each other.

Nie Shi had been dealing with his adoptive parents for nearly a month, but in the end this matter was brought to school.

Fang Chen didn't know, until the girl called him, her tone was puzzled and anxious: "Brother, I heard from my classmates that the teacher was fired, why?"

Why?He also wanted to ask, but he didn't know either.

So many years of hard work have been ruined, do they know what this has brought to Nie Shi?

After it rained early in the morning, Nie Shi went home quietly, but was caught by Fang Chen who was squatting at home.

"Yo." Fang Chen greeted him as he sat cross-legged on the sofa with his chin in his hands, seemingly relaxed, but Nie Shi knew that he was suppressing his anger.

"I'm sorry." Nie Shi apologized to him.

baffling.

"Are you sick, Nie Shi? What are you saying sorry to me?" Fang Chen raised his head, he was a bit crying, from that sunny afternoon many years ago to now, he has been unable to control his emotions in front of Nie Shi Tears, same now, "what the fuck did you do wrong, you say sorry to me?"

Nie Shi raised his hand to wipe Fang Chen's tears, as if he was really the one who made the mistake, and Fang Chen knocked him off.

Sorry for what.

Reality doesn't make it easy for them.

People like them don't deserve to live, they should only struggle in the swamp, and finally be buried in the swamp, leaving nothing behind.

Nie Shi thought he should say sorry, he couldn't give Fang Chen a good life and was stubborn and refused to let Fang Chen go free.He was so selfish, because he didn't know what was left of him without Fang Chen.

How nice it is to have someone by your side, he is the driving force for you to persevere, the reason for you to smile... But life is not happy.

"Did they go to your school to make trouble?" Fang Chen wiped his eyes severely, "Have they been kicked in the head by a donkey? I don't know if it will make you lose your job?"

They don't care.

All they care about is that their son is gay.

If it can't be corrected...then they would rather not have this son.

Nie Shi opened his mouth not knowing what to say, closed his eyes and shook his head, gently stroked Fang Chen's hair, "It's okay."

"What?" Fang Chen showed a moment of bewilderment, a tear fell on his cheek, and slowly slid down.

"They won't make trouble anymore." Nie Shi said, "They won't come here to make trouble either."

"...It's over." He said as he bent his legs and leaned on the sofa, holding Fang Chen's face and kissing it.

Fang Chen wanted to push him away, but Nie Shi hugged him hard.

The kiss was very long, the lips and tongue were twisted together, but there was no trace of tenderness, Nie Shi was plundering, persistently chasing, tasting the salty tears, until both of them were tired, he let go, and pressed against Fang Chen's forehead.

Everything ends here.

……

There was the fragrance of lilies in the room, and Fang Chen sneezed as soon as he entered the room.

The dean was packing things in the kitchen, and when he saw Fang Chen, he looked behind him again, "Are you here alone?"

Fang Chen paused, forced a smile and nodded: "Well, Nie Shi... has something to worry about."

The dean nodded and nodded, without asking anything.

The two sat together for a meal. The dean saw that he was worried, and asked Fang Chen when he was almost done eating, "Do you want to go to the orphanage with me? I haven't been there for a few days."

Fang Chen subconsciously wanted to refuse, stopped, looked at the dean, gritted his teeth, and finally nodded, "...OK."

All the way there, Shen was thinking about things. Standing at the entrance of the orphanage, the headmaster reminded him that he had arrived, and he raised his head to realize his insignificance.

The black-painted iron door and the copper-colored plaque sent coldness into his spinal cord.

He has been afraid to come.

Those sleepless late nights, the crying of children and the endless waiting, hoping that someone can bring them out of the quagmire.

He looked at the dean uncontrollably, she was the one who left him, and she was the one who treated him well.

He should be content with at least one of them.People are always greedy, they want more when they get it.

The dean was familiar with the people inside, so he came in after saying hello.This time was the lunch break, the children were all asleep, Fang Chen stepped in together with the headmaster, the warm sun was cut off, and he walked into the cold corridor again after such a long time.

"Is Nie Shi okay?" the dean asked suddenly.

She walked in front, Fang Chen could only see her curved back and silver hair.

"...It's pretty good." He lied, his throat was dry and he wanted to cough, but he held it back.

They walked down the corridor, past the child's dormitory, where he had slept countless nights, huddled with a group of children.It has changed a lot, and it is completely different from what I remember, but the corridor is still very long, with no end in sight, and no exit.

The dean's voice was very soft, like a lullaby, peaceful and gentle, "Then how are you all?"

Fang Chen stopped, looking at the dean's back, she continued walking without stopping.

"...not very good." He followed up and finally told the truth.A child who cannot hide his emotions grows up and learns to lie to cover up the truth, and those who are familiar with him will still see through it at a glance.

Fang Chen suddenly quickened his pace, wanting to catch up with something, and stepped into the sunlight all at once.The noon light hit his eyes directly, and he turned his head suddenly to find that they had walked to the backyard before he knew it.

There was a shallow ripple of water in the memory, which gradually became clear. In the afternoon when Nie Shi was adopted, he once sat on the steps here and wept secretly.At that time, how much he wanted someone to take him away, and he was more envious of Nie Shi than reluctant to part with him.

The eye sockets were very hot, and tears rolled out of them, one drop at a time, Fang Chen finally couldn't hold back and squatted down, covering his eyes with the back of his hand and crying.

It's been a long time since he's been here, he's been running away, afraid of the cold corridor, forgetting about the sunny backyard.He was here, lived here.

When he had cried enough, he raised his head and red nose like a child, "Grandma."

"Hey." The dean responded, still so kindly, just like many years ago, except that there were more silver threads on his head, faintly glowing in the sun.

Fang Chen knew that she knew everything.

He had a hard time, and if he couldn't hold on, he couldn't bear to let go.

"Nie Shi severed ties with his adoptive parents." He left a sentence without beginning or end.

The dean was surprised, and then sighed.

Fang Chen squatted there with his hands intertwined, "I have no right to hate Nie Shi's adoptive parents. They have raised Nie Shi for more than [-] years...but I still can't help hating them."

The dean listened.

"I'm also afraid that Nie Shi will hate me in the future." Fang Chen tilted his head, opened the corners of his mouth and raised it up a few times, but finally fell down, unable to force a smile, "I used to envy him so much. He has parents and grades. All the hard work will pay off.”

So in the beginning, every time Nie Shi pulled him out of the fighting group, he felt small and humble, and refused to listen to Nie Shi's words honestly, let alone accept Nie Shi's "charity".He was persistent, but he couldn't move his eyes to other places.

When he looked at Nie, he looked at him as Nie looked at him.

"But now it seems that because of me, he has nothing." Fang Chen covered his face, and the sun reflected on his hair, which was brilliant golden. With the passing of life, he feared that one day the love would also disappear, leaving only endless complaints and regrets.

He was afraid they would become like that.

The author has something to say: It’s been a long time since I wrote the memories, I still try to skip some things and write so much

Counselor really loves to cry hahahaha, but he is already very strong, he should be praised!