The old man said

In August 1939, there were two people missing in our room. Looking at the vacant beds, I felt very uncomfortable. I knew that the god of death had taken them away. Brother Zhongqiang came to tell me after dinner that they met on the way to the front. A stray bullet was caught, but it was not saved, war!war!Is it finally time to face it?

In October 1939, I lost my pencil. Fortunately, I took my notebook with me. Chufang asked for two pencils for me, and told me not to lose it again. I took advantage of this endless war to write a diary. , The surrounding is deadly still, this suffocating feeling is like a walking dead, I actually miss the training days in the rear, and the chattering voice, I was taken aback by myself.

In December 1939, I was too tired to lift my pen. The war was still at a stalemate. When will this life of death be over?

In December 1939, Mr. wrote a letter, a last letter.I had to ask the sender to receive it. Seeing the sender's head full of dirt is really embarrassing for him. I dare not open Mr.'s letter. After all, in this special period, even a little emotion can force a person to collapse.sorry sir.

In March 1940, the days were really slow, and the number of people around me was decreasing. The squad leader stopped smiling and counted the number of people with a blank expression.That kid in Chufang really doesn’t remember the date. I secretly went to see him when he was changing shifts. He was so small and hid behind the mound of dirt, but he really couldn’t see him. He greeted me when he saw him, and even whistled softly. I... I actually blushed.The itchy feeling came from the top of my head, so I had to run away in a panic. In the evening, I asked another person to send a happy birthday, and he definitely didn't know.

In April 1940, we were going to bypass the enemy and merge with another team. I don’t know the meaning of this, but I know it’s more dangerous than standing still. It’s a moving target. Chu Fang’s interest seems to be very high , The report is going to be the leader. In the team, watching him raise the red flag, I feel inexplicably relieved.Some people just have the power to reassure them.

In April 1940, Chufang's partner died, and he was shot dead by his side.I have seen his state, he has been depressed for a few days, the sloppiness he was used to before has disappeared, he is mourning for his companion, if I die, will he also feel sorry for me?Maybe he can't remember me either.

In April 1940, I was sent to work as an observer in Chufang. When I heard the news, I couldn't suppress the excitement in my heart. Maybe I should think about my inexplicable feeling.

April 1940 Chufang, Chufang.

In May 1940, I couldn’t help thinking about the time I spent with him every day. Scenes flashed in my mind, Chu Fang’s profile, Chu Fang’s eyes, Chu Fang’s freshly shaved hair, am I crazy?Or did I fall first?

In May 1940, I think I will never forget that moment. When the enemy pointed a gun at Chu Fang’s head, I was terrified. He, tired, he dragged me back to the camp, such a small man, but so much strength.The interval of rest gave me time to write in my diary. Although the pain was so painful, I thought it would be broken. The doctor said that there might be sequelae and complications.Death doesn't seem so scary for a moment.I read a letter from my husband, and he said he hoped I would be happy.This is really a not-so-simple blessing. He didn’t tell me about his illness. Maybe he returned to that house and pushed open the door. There is someone waiting for him inside, then And me, should someone be waiting for me?

In May 1940, I dragged my legs and fought side by side with him. He joked that I was not afraid of death. In fact, I was afraid, but I had something more. people.That night, we hid in the ravine, and he was so tired that he fell asleep quickly. Even though I almost killed him, he still gave his back to me with confidence. I imagined that he would say: my whole life It's all yours.But he just said thank you.Am I content to immerse myself in my own fantasies?

In June 1941, I carefully got along with him and avoided writing his diary. I couldn't let him know that I would be hated. I couldn't let my dirty thoughts ruin everything.

In June 1941, I don’t know how he dug out the book that my husband gave me. I always thought it was lost. He shook the book in front of me and asked me to explain the meaning to him. He might not know about mine. His face was a little red, but he was called out suddenly, and he must have caused trouble again.

In July 1941, he kept pestering me to explain it to him, but I couldn’t hold it back, and he was not satisfied, saying that he wanted to study it by himself, but he couldn’t read half a word, so why should he study it.In fact, I was selfish and told a wrong story. "Perhaps Zhu Yingtai was originally a man, but later generations did it to avoid suspicion...".

The secret of this diary was still made public. A man recorded the most sincere and soul-touching place in his heart. He guarded it so carefully that he even wrapped himself in his clothes when he slept. He was careful, but he was still caught by evil The children's people stole it out and read it under the public.Its owner didn't even say the words he wanted to say the most. It was obviously the most moving thoughts, but it suddenly became the source of others' reviling. In those days, anyone who didn't conform to the public's concept would be despised, disgusted, and fought.Let alone him, he is unpopular in the first place, has a withdrawn personality, and is timid and afraid of death.It's like trampling on his self-esteem when others spread those words all over the sky, but when he was detained by a group of people and locked in a small dark room, what worried him most was his reaction, would he hate me?Will you find me disgusting?This kind of thing, this kind of thing...is it me?Sir, didn't you say this is normal?Why is everyone doing this to me?It's already hard enough not to say it, why make me feel worse? Is it a mistake to like him, like Chufang?is it my fault

He was injured in one eye, and his vision was blurred. One day, those people were finally willing to let him go, and hired a dung cart to take him home. His leg injury was more serious, and he walked out. The door was stepped on with one foot deep and one foot shallow. He wanted to ask someone how he was, but no one answered him. They all thought he was dirty and disgusting.He understood that those people would never let him come to see him, and even if he did, he would not dare.

It's so dirty.

The author has something to say:

Yao Mu's diary is written intermittently, so the timeline will be broken. I accidentally discovered that Yao Muyin is the same as "Dazzling". In fact, he should not be dazzling at all, otherwise Chu Fang would have noticed him a long time ago, and It is his mind, his feelings for Chufang cannot be "dazzling" at all, otherwise there will be endless pain.The description is not very good, please forgive me, tomorrow I will write a diary why I stole it, although many people like to read sweet articles, but I will still stick to myself, respect.