Pain fetish

The beginning of hallucinations was the beginning of the deterioration of Fu Ge's condition. Qi Han still remembered what the doctor said a month ago.

The day I found Fu Ge was normal.

He just finished a big project and went to the bar to relax with his friends. Before leaving, he bumped into a few gangsters making trouble, dragged a painting beta upstairs, not only smashed the easel of others, but also threatened that the service was not good Just break his fingers.

Qi Han was too sensitive to the word "painter", so he subconsciously raised his eyes, and it was this one glance that made him see Fu Ge.

The old campus male god, the proud and elegant little painter, the young man who can make the world look pale with a smile when he is on horseback, so willful and dazzling.

But that night, he was pressed on the bar counter like a broken rag to molested him. He kept silent, didn't hide or evade, and was stunned like a fool. He kept yelling "Don't smash my easel..."

Qi Han rescued the man before he even had time to react, but found that Fu Ge had long forgotten him, the person he was, what he had done, and even their short-lived relationship .

Afterwards, Fu Ge kept thanking him, but every movement and every word was slow, appearing sluggish and rigid, as if normal expressions were extremely difficult for him.

Qi Han stayed for a while in a strange way, and said that he could do him a little favor. At first Fu Ge didn't accept it, fearing it would be too troublesome. After Qi Han insisted, he pressed his stomach and said in a low voice: "You Can I have something to eat?"

The painting for the guest was smashed, and he didn't earn money for the meal today.

Qi Han said yes, Fu Ge seemed very happy at the time, and took him to the nearest KFC, and then ordered a minimum portion of French fries.

Although he lost his memory and became stupid, Fu Ge still knew that it was embarrassing to ask others to eat, so he only wanted the cheapest French fries, and instead of staying in the shop, he squatted down Eat secretly in alleys.

Qi Han was hiding not far away at the time, watching him put the small bag of French fries on his knees, and ate each piece in three bites. That is enough to be satisfied.

The scent attracted two stray cats who were also hungry, and they kept circling around him, rubbing their legs and stretching their paws. Fu Ge pursed his lips and hesitated for a long time, and finally poured the remaining French fries to the cats.

Qi Han walked over at that time and asked him if he would like to follow him, but Fu Ge couldn't understand, "following you...what are you doing?"

"I need a quiet inhibitor." Qi Han said.

Fu Ge blinked, "But I'm a beta, so I can't give you pheromones."

"Just give/fuck." He said the words were deliberately harsh.

Fu Ge blushed, lowered his head, and stammered after a long silence: "If...fuck, can I eat French fries every day..."

In this way, Qi Han took him home.

I didn't think much of it, and I forgot to buy French fries for him, but somehow I knew how to take someone to the hospital.

According to Fu Ge himself, he lost his memory because he accidentally fell into the water, and the situation was basically true when Qi Han went to investigate.

However, the results of the hospital's examination were finally diagnosed as schizophrenia caused by huge physical and mental trauma.

In the early stage, it was just a slow response, and there were obstacles in senses, logic, and thinking.So Fu Ge did everything slowly, and his ability to perceive temperature was getting worse. He would still go out in shorts in September.

At the beginning, Qi Han didn't pay much attention to his condition, he just thought it was a neurasthenia caused by his poor life, and after a month of calm recuperation, he began to recover slowly.

Until last night, Fu Ge had hallucinations for the first time.

He saw the other party wearing a pajamas soaked in cold sweat, walking down the stairs dully, gesticulating with his hands in front of him strangely, talking to the void, teasing, blushing, and then suddenly violent, crying and running away.

And he was standing at the top of the stairs calling him, but Fu Ge couldn't see him at all, and finally mistook himself for a hallucination.

Hallucinations are the beginning of the deterioration of the condition. Since that night, Fu Ge has become more and more dull.

He doesn't like to go out even more.

He always wears strange clothes and hides on the single sofa in the living room, no matter whether it is hot or cold, he always wears a fluffy blanket around his body, facing the floor-to-ceiling glass, looking at it all day long.

He has completely lost the ability to distinguish reality from illusion.

Qi Han saw him stand up on the sofa with his own eyes, walked to the door with a smile, and said to a cloud of air: "Welcome sir to go home." He did the motion of helping someone undress with both hands, and then poured a glass of water and handed it over .

Of course the air wouldn't catch it, the water glass fell to the ground and shattered into pieces, Fu Ge suddenly woke up like a frightened bird, staring blankly at the debris on the ground.

Many emotions will flash across his face, including embarrassment, bewilderment, fear, despair, and finally all become numb.

So much so that when Qi Han really stood in front of him, he would no longer react.

He just watched quietly, and Qi Han would not make a sound when talking to him, only when he stared at each other for a long time, he would start talking to himself.

"Mr. appears so frequently today. In fact...it's not bad. I couldn't see you for a week before. I'm the only one in such a big house. Now I can see you every day. I should be happy It is."

Qi Han didn't dare to make a sound, for fear of waking him up again.

Fu Ge said that when he was tired, he would sneak over, grab his hand and put it on his head, creating a fake hug for himself.

"I always want you to hug me like this, but if you don't give it, I don't dare to ask for it. When you brought me back at the beginning, Mr. said you were going to do that kind of thing, but you never touched me , I think it’s probably because I’m a beta without pheromones, and my skills are really poor.”

"What exactly is the pheromone of an omega?"

When he said this, he raised his head and looked at Qi Han, with a bit of embarrassment flashing across his face, "I secretly used the shower gel in your bathroom, and it also smells on me, can you smell it?"

Qi Han buried his head into his neck, sniffed it for a while, and said, "It smells good."

"That's great," Fu Ge smiled contentedly, but the smile quickly froze on his face, "But you are fake, and I seem to be fake too, only the man in the dream is real , he will come to catch me again tonight..."

Fu Ge helplessly grabbed the hem of his clothes, his empty eyes seemed to have dried up from crying, "Sir, can you go home tonight, please come back and save me..."

"Okay, okay, I'll be back..." Qi Han was in so much pain that he felt like he was being tortured, he held his hand and let him touch his face, "Don't be afraid, I will be back tonight, don't be afraid .”

He deliberately went out to buy a large order of French fries, added Coke, and opened the door on time at nine o'clock in the evening.

Fu Ge watched quietly as usual, until Qi Han gave him the Coke, held his hand and returned it to his own.

The Coke didn't drop, Fu Ge knew it was true.

"Sir, are you back?" His tone instantly became cheerful.

Qi Han hugged him, "Thank you for waiting for me to get off work."

Fu Ge was so overwhelmed by the flattery that he huddled in his arms and didn't dare to move, "It's all as it should be."

"Eaten dinner yet?"

"Well... I ate it."

It was such a clumsy lie, Qi Han didn't expose it, he just hugged him on his lap and sat on the sofa by himself, "Then let's have some supper, I bought you French fries, can I drink Coke?

"Yes!" Fu Ge's eyes flashed with joy, "Thank you sir."

He is still the same as a month ago, eating French fries in small bites. No matter how poor life is, elegance and gentleness are still engraved in his bones, and he will never gobble it up no matter how hungry he is.

"I'll take you out for a walk tomorrow."

He was afraid that if Fu Ge continued like this, he would seal himself up forever and turn into a piece of dead wood with flesh and blood.

Fu Ge suspected that he was hallucinating again, and asked in disbelief, "Take me?"

"Well, let's go together."

"Go out and play together?"

He laughed in surprise, and the long-drained vitality flowed back into his body with these words, like cells absorbed water under a microscope, becoming plump and lovely.

Qi Han gently kissed his forehead, "It's not considered a joke, it's just a small entertainment, and they are all close friends."

With a "snap" the Coke fell to the ground, Fu Ge opened his eyes wide and looked at him, his lips trembling unnaturally, "A... socializing?"

"Well, what happened?"

"I, can I not go, I am too ugly like this, I will lose your face."

"Not ugly," Qi Han stroked his hair, "very beautiful."

Just these two words caused Fu Ge's vitality that had just been awakened to collapse instantly, and the plump cells suddenly shrank as if they had been dripping with salt water.

He stared blankly at the ground, muttered "beautiful" in his mouth, and finally chuckled lightly, as if he had compromised with everything.

"Okay, I'll go with you..."

Qi Han didn't understand why he had changed so much before and after, until the day of the party.

After drinking for three rounds, he left the banquet because of a phone call, and asked his friends to help take care of Fu Ge.

Walking out the door, just as he picked up the phone, a friend shouted from the box, Qi Han hurried back, opened the door and saw Fu Ge stripped naked, forcibly lying on top of his friend, as if being forced to sell/body prostitute.

"Fuck, Brother Qi, it's not my fault! You're going to jump on your back!" My friend struggled and shouted, seeing Fu Ge like a scourge, "What's going on? Well, I'm innocent, wash my feet They are not dirty!"

Qi Han immediately took off his coat and put it on Fu Ge, and told everyone to go out, and asked him with restrained breath, "What are you doing, huh?"

He pinched Fu Ge's face, not knowing which was more angry or distressed, "What the hell have you done in the past five years? Before you and I reunited, you lived on this? Fu Ge! You fucking need to take it easy So cheap?!"

However, the person in front of him stared blankly at him with blank eyes, "You asked me to socialize with you and take care of you. I thought it was just playing with them as before, and I signed your contract when I was happy... I'm sorry I screwed up..."

With just this one sentence, Qi Han felt like being struck by lightning.

He finally understood why Fu Ge was so scared when he heard "entertainment", and why he felt ashamed when he was praised as "beautiful", because in his only memory, he was once used by the man in the nightmare as a tool to accompany guests.

"It's okay, it's okay, I don't blame you, stop playing."

He picked up the clothes and helped Fu Ge put them on one by one. Regardless of whether the other party could understand or not, he said softly: "No one has ever regarded you as a tool to accompany guests, whether it was five years ago or five years later."

Fu Ge seemed not to hear it, and there was only a sense of relief on his face, "I won't play anymore, then can I go home..."

He began to drag his steps again, the soles of his shoes rubbed against the ground, the iron chains on his feet had been removed, but the shackles on his heart would be with him like a shadow.

It wasn't until today that Qi Han knew thoroughly that that proud and coquettish little painter would never come back again, he was ground into a piece of garbage, a piece of wood, a piece of everything, but he didn't look like a living person.

"Wait." Qi Han stopped him, and took a wine opener from the table, shaped like a key.

Fu Ge turned around, clutching the hem of his clothes tightly, "Can't you go?"

Qi Han didn't even dare to look at him, walked up to him, knelt down, held his ankle, inserted the "key" into the air, turned it around, and said, "The chain is untied."

He raised his eyes and looked at Fu Ge: "Xiao Ge, it's all over, let's walk."

A tear fell and printed on his face, Fu Ge's eyes regained clarity, as if he finally recognized him, "Is it... sir?"

"Correct."

Like a bird with broken wings, the man full of wounds threw himself into his arms, "Please take me home, don't leave me here alone..."

On this day, Fu Ge received a hug that lasted for half an hour.

During the entire return journey, Qi Han put him on his lap, hugged him in his arms, wrapped him in clothes stained with his own pheromone, and covered his eyes with warm palms.

"Is it real now, sir."

"Yes." Qi Han rubbed his hands warmer and stroked his forehead, "Can you feel it? My palms are very hot."

Fu Ge let out a soft hum, feeling as comfortable as in his mother's swaddle, drowsy.

But he tried his best not to fall asleep, and he cherished every minute and every second he spent with his husband.

"Sir, how long have we been together?"

"Eight months and fourteen days after high school."

"Which step have we reached?"

"Talk about marriage."

"That's great, then... Is it my proposal to break up?"

Qi Han paused, "Yes."

Fu Ge didn't dare to ask what he did wrong, for fear of affecting the warm atmosphere, but he knew that it must be a very excessive thing.

"After the breakup, I made another boyfriend who treated me very badly."

Relying on his only remaining memories, he said: "But I forgot what he looks like, I just remember that he is a tall alpha, with three circles of dark blue ribbons tied on his right wrist, and a small twisted ribbon hanging from the ribbons. The prayer wheel is silver."

He raised his eyes and traced Qi Han's bridge of nose with his fingers, "I've been dreaming about him recently, those dreams are too scary, I must be sick, so sometimes I think you are him, it's very bad for you Respect, can I apologize to you? Don't be angry with me."

Qi Han looked into his eyes and said after a long time: "No need to apologize, it's fine, what did he...do to you?"

The expression on Fu Ge's face froze for a moment, his shoulders trembled like a conditioned reflex, "I don't remember clearly, he lied to me that he had a sudden susceptibility period, and then made/loved me day and night. He made me I was tied up in a very dark place and hung up. The iron chains were grinding my hands and feet. I couldn’t speak or make a sound, otherwise I would be locked in a very narrow place, and I could only curl up... .”

"Okay, stop talking, stop talking."

Qi Han pressed his head into his arms, "Xiao Ge, forget about it, you will get better if you forget about it."

Fu Ge said "um", "Fortunately, I met Mr. again."

Qi Han froze for a moment, "Do you feel lucky?"

"That's right." Fu Ge smiled at him, so admiring, so grateful, "Although I don't remember, I regret leaving my husband back then, otherwise I wouldn't have met another boyfriend."

He raised his head and kissed Qi Han's chin, every word was very devout: "Sir, I am grateful to meet you, and even more grateful to meet you again."

Qi Han didn't make a sound, his eyes drifted empty for a long time, and finally he kissed him on the forehead, "Forget it all."

Fu Ge finally fell asleep, exhausted both mentally and physically.

Qi Han carried him back to his room, covered him with the quilt, and went into the bathroom to wash his hands.

He didn't know what was on his hands, and he soaked them under the faucet and scrubbed them repeatedly. The force became stronger and stronger, and his breathing became more and more chaotic. Finally, he punched the mirror with a "bang".

The glass shattered, and blood flowed all over the broken lines.

Qi Han looked at his grotesque self in those bright red fragments, and remembered what an old friend said at the party today.

He said that Fu Ge must have been with some scumbags before, and if he let his lover accompany customers to do business, he would suffer retribution sooner or later.

Qi Han sneered and collapsed to the ground.

The sleeves were pulled up with the movement, and three circles of dark blue silk ribbons were tied on the right wrist, and the small prayer wheel was blown by the wind.

They were together for eight months and fourteen days, eight months was the time they fell in love, and fourteen days was the time limit for him to imprison Fu Ge.

He'll never say it out loud: he's that scum, and comeuppance has come.

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Xiaoge has never been with others, so there is a misunderstanding.

The two of them have only each other from the beginning to the end. If Dakar has any doubts later, you can probably understand this sentence after thinking about it.

The chasing wife crematorium is being prepared?????????