In the silent place

Chapter 58 Only when I look back

The corridors of the hospital at night were silent, and occasionally doctors and nurses walked by, and the footsteps seemed abnormally loud, giving off a hollow and penetrating echo.

Jiang Ping, with his eyes closed, slumped in his chair and snored lightly, intermittently, and changed his position after a while, sleeping unsteadily.Jiang Dong, who was sitting not far away, also closed his eyes, leaning the back of his head against the wall and closing his eyes to rest his mind.Only Bai Yutang sat silently on the chair, his eyes were reddish, staring at the door of the intensive care unit for a moment, without any sleepiness.

The chaotic past kept pouring into his brain, making his heart feel like it was torn apart.He remembered the hot summer vacation in his junior year, when Zhan Zhao was working part-time in the supermarket, he always went to find him, or went directly to his house and waited.He was never afraid of being rejected, because it was like another home for him, and the key was tied with his own house key.

Every time Zhan Zhao comes back from work, the first thing he does when he walks in is to take a shower.Sometimes I would wait for him to fall asleep, and when I woke up, I found that the man was standing in front of the small electric fan, nibbling on the popsicle in his hand and wiping his wet hair.He would always rush forward to grab his popsicles, even if he was sweating all over, he would never tire of it.And Zhan Zhao would beat him, even kick him, and if he couldn't snatch it, he would take a bite of the popsicle, and then stare at him with bright black eyes, watching helplessly as he snatched the popsicle from his hand.At that time, they were laughing and joking all day long, playing and fighting.Clothes are mixed, and scarves are changed.He's so healthy, so full of life... Since when did it all change?He always thought it was his own words that made everything irreversible.For four years, he thought about it almost every day before going to bed, but he still couldn't figure it out.He didn't think it should be like that, but besides this reason, he really couldn't think of anything else?What can make Zhan Zhao be so decisive?He seems to have entered a dead end, searching every corner but can't find an exit. He lives in a vast and diverse society every day, and at the same time lives in a cage in his heart.

He stared closely at the door of the intensive care unit, wishing he could burn it down right in front of his eyes.He had never been so eager to see him.Even four years ago, when he quietly disappeared from his life, he had never felt so strongly.He just kept thinking about why... He had never connected him and his tiny bits and pieces together. Now that he thinks about it, he suddenly understands how they walked together in those days.He only knew that he loved Zhan Zhao, but he never paid attention to that person's feelings for him.He didn't know what kind of mood Zhan Zhao had when he climbed up to the twelfth floor with him, and he never thought about why Zhan Zhao would take him to read books and eat with him; Before going out to film, he told himself on the phone to pay more attention to his body...Why did he forget everything that happened because of one incident? !Except for the role of Jian Shu, he has almost never refused to his own request...even indulged!Why did I never think about it carefully, and only considered my feelings and dedication to him.He suddenly discovered that he was so selfish, arrogant, and self-righteous!

'Zhan Zhao, you used the most ruthless way to let me understand this.If you don't wake up...' he thought, his eyes burning and his hands trembling uncontrollably.

Jiang Dong closed his eyes, vaguely heard the suppressed sobbing, and his heart tightened.He knew that it was Bai Yutang.Thinking of the other party's red eyes and the dry blood stains on the back of his hands in the afternoon, he couldn't help but feel a little sorry.He has been Bai Yutang's assistant for more than half a year, and this is the longest time he has followed since he was in this industry.The relationship between the two has long been more than just a relationship between superiors and subordinates, especially when there is a relationship of a cousin in the middle.When I think of this, I feel a pain in my heart.He sighed and didn't say anything. He thought the best he could do at this time was to act as if he hadn't seen or heard anything.

Early the next morning, Liu Rong and Jiang Yewan rushed to the hospital, pleaded with the doctor for a long time but failed to get the right to visit, Jiang Dong sent the two elders home anyway.

Jiang Ping looked at Bai Yutang who was sitting on the side, and saw that his eye circles were black and blue, and he hadn't slept all night, so he couldn't help persuading him: "Go home and have a rest, at least wash your face, and regain your energy slowly. "

Before Bai Yutang could answer, a few doctors and nurses rushed over from the end of the corridor and rushed into the intensive care unit.Bai Yu stood up and followed, his heart felt like he had been hit by a blunt object, and asked urgently, "What's wrong with him?" The only answer was a loud slam of the door, and he was locked out again.

Bai Yutang felt that in his life, he had never been so worried as now, every minute and every second was suffering.Even let him take a look at him!For the first time, he felt that life was so fragile, and he was even more vulnerable in the face of illness. He clenched his fist against his lips and begged silently, hoping that God would not take him away.

Not long after, Jiang Dong rushed back, and when he saw nurses coming in and out of the ward from time to time, his heart skipped a beat.He rushed over and asked, "What happened to him?"

"I don't know, the doctor won't let him in." Seeing him anxious, Jiang Ping enlightened him: "The hospital didn't call the family members. It shouldn't be a big problem. Don't be nervous."

That being said, Jiang Dong couldn't rest assured, he raised his arms and clenched his fists and shook them up and down from time to time, as if to cheer himself up.

This time, after more than an hour, the doctor came out.Several people hurriedly surrounded the past, scrambling to ask questions.

"How is he, doctor?"

"Doctor, is he all right?

"Deep internal bleeding, the situation is very dangerous. At present, we are treating with intravenous gamma globulin and transfusion of platelets. We hope that his platelets can increase rapidly in a short period of time, otherwise the bleeding will not stop, and blood transfusion alone will not last for a few days. If there is intracranial hemorrhage..." The doctor said and shook his head.

Bai Yutang looked at the bloodstains on the cuffs of the doctor's white coat, his eyes were red. "No matter what, please do your best to save him!"

"That's for sure, don't worry." The old doctor replied kindly.

"Can we go in and have a look at him?" Jiang Dong begged in a low voice, "Please, just go in and have a look at him."

"Not now, the patient is still in a deep coma. If the situation permits, someone will notify you."

"Thank you, doctor." Jiang Ping thanked.

The old doctor nodded, walked slowly along the long corridor, turned around and disappeared at the end.

At almost two o'clock in the afternoon, Jiang Dong received the notification.From 3:3 p.m. to 10:[-] p.m. is the regular visiting time of the ICU ward. Two visitors are allowed at a time. Since Zhan Zhao is a new patient in the ICU isolation and intensive care unit, and his condition is very unstable, the hospital only gave him a [-]-minute visit. time and a place.Jiang Dong immediately called his family, greeted Jiang Ping, and hurried home to pick up his wife.

Jiang Ping looked at Jiang Dong's back, sighed, turned around and walked to Bai Yutang's side, patted his shoulder, and said, "Go home and rest for a while, you can't see anyone, what can you do if you stay here?" Use?" Seeing that Bai Yutang didn't listen to persuasion, he also got a little angry, and after he finished speaking, he couldn't bear it anymore, thinking about the one lying inside, and then looking at the one sitting outside, he felt a sharp pain in his heart.

Bai Yutang sat upright in the chair, staring straight at the opposite wall, with no expression on his stern face. "Fourth brother, you go back."

Jiang Ping slumped his shoulders weakly, and sat down beside Bai Yutang.Bai Yutang looked at him, knowing that he was worried about him, remembering that his fourth brother sat here with him all night last night, he felt grateful and ashamed at the same time. "Fourth brother, you don't have to accompany me, go back."

"Fifth, have you forgotten what I told you yesterday? If you fall down first..."

"I haven't forgotten." Bai Yutang interrupted Jiang Ping calmly. "As long as he wakes up, I'll take a look at him and go back."

Bai Yutang's eyes clearly told him his persistence.Jiang Ping looked at him, turned around and leaned against the back of the chair, and did not continue to persuade him.

Liu Rong followed her son into the gate of the ICU department and found the doctor in charge of arranging visits.Holding the registration form, the female doctor looked up to see the two of them, and patiently explained: "Due to the special circumstances of the patient, only one family member is allowed to visit at present. Please discuss it first, and let me know when you have discussed it."

Jiang Dong looked at his old lady, turned to the female nurse and said, "Can you be more flexible and give us another place?"

"Sorry, not yet. This is also for the sake of the patient, please cooperate. When the situation permits, you will be notified."

"Mom, is it okay for you to go in by yourself?" Jiang Dong asked worriedly.When the old lady heard the doctor's words yesterday, she almost fainted. He was afraid that the old lady would not be able to bear it when she saw his cousin.

"It's okay, don't worry."

The female nurse saw that the two had discussed and handed the form to Liu Rong. "You sign here. Before going in later, there will be medical staff who will ask you to put on isolation gowns and shoe covers, masks and hats, and then wash your hands with disinfectant. You should follow along. Try to avoid contact with patients, to reduce the incidence of infection."

Liu Rong nodded, but her nose couldn't help feeling sour.Carefully following the doctor to the door of the isolation room, he found that Jiang Ping and Bai Yutang were still guarding the door, so he hurried forward.

"Xiao Jiang, Xiao Bai. You two don't guard, your health is critical, go home and rest. I thank you on Xiao Zhao's behalf."

"Auntie, please don't be too polite." Jiang Ping looked at the doctor beside him, then looked back at Liu Rong and said, "Go in and see him."

Liu Rong nodded, looked at the two gratefully, turned around and walked into the intensive care unit with the female doctor.

It was huge inside, completely different from what she had imagined.The white fluorescent lights on the roof hit the spotless rubber floor, making even the shadows of people very clear.In the boxy room, there is a curved medical workbench in the middle. Except for the side near the door, the other three sides are all intensive care single-person wards. The double doors are closed tightly, and through the large glass windows , you can clearly see the situation in the ward.

According to the requirements of the medical staff, Liu Rong put on the isolation coat and made preparations for the visit, and followed the female nurse to the outside of ward 10.Before she reached the door, she saw the nephew inside, and her eyes instantly became moist.

"Go in, don't exceed 10 minutes." The little nurse pushed open the door and stood outside to remind.

"Thank you." Liu Rong thanked her and walked gently into the ward.

The ward is not big, but it feels empty.Looking at a large pile of unknown treatment and monitoring equipment on the left side of the bed and bags of liquid medicine hanging on the shelf, Liu Rong's throat seemed to be blocked by something, and the pain in her heart was boundless. Spread like the tide.She walked slowly to the head of the bed and looked down at the person on the bed.The nephew was lying there quietly and obediently like a sleeping baby. It would be great if he could not look at the tubes inserted in his nose and mouth, and if he could ignore his thin and pale face due to illness.She stretched out her hand, wanting to stroke the hair on his forehead for him, but suddenly remembered what the doctor had reminded her, her hands were trembling, and tears could no longer be held back, streaming down her cheeks.

"Xiao Zhao, my aunt is here to see you..." She sobbed softly as she spoke.Her nephew, only 25 years old, was in the prime of his youth, but got a terrible blood disease.After more than four years, isn't he suffering enough?If God has eyes, I beg you to show mercy and let him get better.Liu Rong prayed silently, looking at her nephew with distress and love in her eyes.She raised her hand to wipe her cheeks, and said with a sob, "Xiao Zhao, my aunt called your father, and he will come back to see you the day after tomorrow...Auntie has nothing to do, your father gave you to me, but I Seeing you like this...it's all my fault...I'm sorry for your father...If you feel sorry for your aunt, wake up quickly, even if you just look at your aunt..."

The people on the hospital bed didn't react at all, only the heart monitor beeped regularly, showing weak signs of life.

The next day, Zhan Zhao still didn't wake up.After the visit in the afternoon, Jiang Dong and his father walked out of the intensive care unit and looked at Bai Yutang who had never left outside the door. The feeling in his heart is really beyond words.These days, he thought a lot, and knew that he shouldn't blame Bai Yutang, but as long as he thought of his cousin, he couldn't calm down.Now his only younger brother is lying in the intensive care unit behind him, dying. Is it true that he is going to die quietly like Jian Shu in "Worthy"?Thinking of this, his heart ached.He looked up at Bai Yutang who was sitting in the chair. He had been here for two days and two nights without closing his eyes. Green stubble appeared on his clean-shaven chin, and he looked extremely tired and haggard. 'He was really nice to his cousin. Jiang Dong sighed, and opened his mouth to say something to Bai Yutang, go back.But the words came to my mouth, but I couldn't spit them out.After a while, all the words were condensed into one sentence. "Xiao Zhao, wake up quickly..."

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