Feeding equation

Strictly speaking, in fact, I am also a very despicable person.I am used to avoiding mistakes and always consider all issues from my own perspective.No matter how I behave on the surface and what impression I make, deep down in my heart, I always think that I have never done anything wrong.No matter whether I have ever regretted it or not, I will find millions of reasons to prevaricate that regret.There are too few people in this world who can truly consider issues from the standpoint of others, so I would rather look at the world from my own standpoint.

And the world I live in now, I can't quite understand it.

Waking up from the coma, He Sang'an told me that it was already the afternoon of the second day.When I opened my eyes, I saw He Sang'an sitting in the living room of his old apartment, watching TV intently.Seeing that I woke up, he also had a calm attitude. He only asked me if I wanted to eat, and then sat back on the sofa in his living room to continue watching his TV program.

"I want to borrow your mobile phone, but I lost it." I said to He Sang'an who was watching TV in the living room.

His living room is really small enough, with old-fashioned decoration, a room with one living room and even no barrier between the living room and the bedroom, which can be seen at a glance.

"Right pocket of the blue suit on the hanger." He stared intently, eyes that seemed to be drawn only to the TV show.

I heard that a dignified female editor-in-chief was broadcasting the news in that TV program.Familiar voice, familiar tone, familiar attitude, familiar expressionless face, more than ten years later, it is still the same face.I really can't understand that He Sang'an can watch this kind of boring news with such concentration and forgetfulness. If it were me, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to sit still for a minute.Not to mention asking me to pay attention to the social news that is being broadcast.

I can't help but sigh that He Sang'an is better than me, if not, then Wu Cheng wouldn't have kissed him to "assist" me.

I nodded as a response.Then I remembered that He Sang'an, who was staring at the TV screen, couldn't see my nodding, so he made another single sound of "um".

After getting the mobile phone, I first called Hua Lin.I remember that I promised her that I would accompany her to the hospital for a prenatal checkup today.It had been more than a month since the last time she was found to be pregnant.

I explained to Hua Lin why I didn't go to her today, and I said it was because of work that held me back.There was no trace of complaint in Hua Lin's tone, but he even said something to me about working hard.She was a virtuous woman, always has been.She is gentle, kind, and considerate. She understands me, tolerates me, and never even asks about my movements, giving me the freedom and space of a man.She is a good woman, but I may not be a good man.

But from her tone, I can still hear that she is not very interested.I feel a little guilty, after all, in many ways, I feel that I am ashamed of Hua Lin.

After hanging up the phone, I glanced at my watch.

16: 43.

I frowned.He Sang'an in the living room was still watching his TV news, so I called and ordered a pizza privately.

"Let's have pizza tonight, I called just now." I walked over and sat next to He Sang'an, and put the phone in his hand.

Originally, this was just a small movement, but because when I sat down, it affected the wound that Wu Si had inflicted on me yesterday.This sitting inevitably made me grin my teeth.

Seeing that I was in pain, He Sang'an turned around and gave me a look, but he kindly took up the topic without asking any questions.

"Alright, anyway, I only have instant noodles here."

As a good friend, I still know He Sang'an's living conditions very well.This guy doesn't know how to cook, and if he's idle at home, he only lives on instant noodles. His single man's life style is very similar to his own temperament that never fights, grabs, or is flashy.

However, don't look at him like this, he is not completely incapable of comforting people.Seeing that I was barely sitting beside him with a dark face, he couldn't help kindly reminding me.

"Brother Xi, maybe it's better for you to lie on your stomach." Having said that, I was speechless.

"You know everything?" I was a little embarrassed.

However, if he really didn't know, it would be called a strange thing!

Yesterday, I did not want to stay at Wu Si's place, but Wu Si called He Sang'an to pick me up at his apartment. I was played by Wu Si until I fell into a coma several times. That old scooter, Wu Si still didn't forget to put the safety helmet on my head while proposing to equip He Sang'an with a car.

"I'm going to kill Wu Si!" Thinking of what he did to me yesterday, my body and heart were instantly on fire.

I want to kill him, kill him, kill him, and this has almost become my spiritual pursuit and ultimate goal.

Seeing my expression, He Sang'an just shook his head.Then I didn't say a word, stood up and walked to the drawer under the TV cabinet, took the electronic thermometer, and put it close to my forehead, the beep sounded, and my temperature was measured.

"38.5°C, Haixi, you still have a fever." This guy stared at the thermometer seriously, as if reading a world famous book.Then he raised his head, and as if thinking of something, went under the TV cabinet and found a medicine box. It took a long time to find two boxes of medicine.

"Cold medicine, fever-reducing medicine, I'll pour hot water for you." After finishing speaking, he got up and went to the kitchen to fetch a cup of hot water.

I didn't want to take medicine at first.If it wasn't for burning to the point of dying, I'd always stayed away from drugs of all kinds.But He Sang'an has put the water and the pills in my hand now, if I don't take them, it will be like I'm not saving face, so I raised my hand and put the pills into my mouth with a frown.The moment I delivered the medicine with water, I thought of the extremely disgusting medicine that Wu Si forced me to take yesterday, and the face that I was beaten to death by him in his hands yesterday, and I couldn’t help but There was a burst of anger, and even the water that was poured into my mouth made me swallow it into the trachea without noticing when I was angry, choking me and coughing profusely.

damn it!

Can not help but red eyes.What happened yesterday ruined my dignity as a man. Apart from being physically violated, it was more psychologically trampled on.

I have always been a person with high self-esteem.Perhaps Wu Si also used that method to insult me ​​because he saw that I was always trying to save face.

Nothing more, he just won't make me feel better!

"Are you okay?" Seeing that I was coughing like this, He Sang'an sat over and patted my back for relief.

"If there is anything, just treat it as being bitten by a dog!" I said in a bad tone, and put the water glass heavily on the table with a dark face.

The splashed water swayed out and landed on He Sang'an's home shorts, and also on my clothes.

When I went to wipe the water, I realized that I was not wearing my own clothes.Looking at the fabric quality of the clothes, it doesn't look like what a man like He Sang'an would wear if he doesn't care about quality.So I thought of Wu Si, the man who pursued perfection in everything, and how he combed his hair meticulously every day, and I suddenly felt sick.He quickly stood up to take off the clothes on his body that seemed to lose his appetite.

"What are you doing, Brother Xi?" Seeing my sudden reaction, He Sang'an was taken aback.

I didn't have time to explain to him, the nausea in my heart oppressed me as if I couldn't breathe.

Suddenly, I vaguely remembered the scene yesterday when Wu Si personally cleaned and changed my clothes.I felt his fingers brushing over every inch of my skin, inside and out, and he didn't let go of a little bit.He left countless marks on my body, even in the bathroom, he would not let go of asking me again.I can feel the sharp pain of being torn from my lower body, that kind of pain is even more painful than digging out my heart.I can feel his rhythm, in my body, the rampage without a trace of pleasure, rushing out my blood, rushing out my tears, on my body, on my heart.He should have been hacked into pieces!

My teeth were itching with hatred, I desperately suppressed the trembling of my body, and stripped those hateful clothes off my body.

Those things with the smell of Wusi make me feel sick when I see them now!

But when I took off the shirt and trousers on my body, the body covered with mottled scars hanging in the air still made me gasp.

Although from the moment I woke up until now, my body is in pain like falling apart.But when I saw with my own eyes the criss-crossing hickey marks, bite marks, binding marks and other traces of abuse on my body, I still felt that I really underestimated Wu Si.

Yes, how could he let me go so easily...

The trembling that was finally suppressed crawled all over his body uncontrollably.I felt like my body was on fire.This scarred body seemed to be no longer mine in an instant, and suddenly I began to loathe myself extremely.If it wasn't for my own weakness and powerlessness, how could it be... How could I be threatened by that perverted scum? !

When thinking this way, the stomach couldn't help but began to churn.And then, it was really uncontrollable to spit it out.Fortunately, at the moment of vomiting, I rushed to the toilet desperately. Otherwise, I am afraid that the wool carpet that He Sang'an spread in the living room might be completely scrapped under my ravages.

However, from the shocked look in He Sang'an's eyes when he saw my naked body just now, I can roughly imagine what he was thinking.

Of course, even though He Sang'an is my good friend, I'm not ready to show my embarrassment and embarrassment in front of him.Seeing his sympathy and complex eyes now, I really have the idea of ​​wanting to die.But in reality, I have many thoughts that I can't die, whether it's Hai Qian or the hatred for Wu Si.In addition, if I really died with the scars of sexual abuse, maybe tomorrow morning the social news will release a big headline: A man with a surname was raped and committed suicide with hatred, the truth behind the sexual abuse The appearance is outrageous.Maybe He Sang'an, who is eating instant noodles tomorrow, will hear about me from the female anchor who has been broadcasting news for more than ten years.

I really dare not think about it!

I raised my head from the toilet, pressed the flush water to flush the filth that I just spit out into the sewer.When I looked up, I saw He Sang'an handing me a pair of home-made beach shorts.

"I haven't had time to wash the short sleeves yet, don't mind if you wear my pants first." He stuffed the beach pants with big floral prints into my hands.

I looked down at myself wearing only underwear, and after thinking about it, I put the shorts on my body.

Although there is no top, but a pair of shorts is also good.Although He Sang'an is gay, I'm not the type he likes, and he has never been interested in me, which is why I have been good friends with him for many years.So, it doesn't matter if I'm shirtless in front of him.

While thinking about this, the doorbell of that house rang suddenly.I thought it was the pizza I ordered, so I asked He Sang'an to open the door.Unexpectedly, just as the door opened, a loud voice came in.

"Who did you bring into the house? He Sang'an, you bastard!" Ben Liang's voice was a little noisy as he hopped his feet in the small house. When he saw me at the door of the bathroom, his face turned From the original burst of popularity to the face full of shock and disbelief.

"You...you and him..." Seeing the ambiguous marks on my body, he turned to look at He Sang'an again, and ran out screaming before he could hear He Sang'an's explanation.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh——" I seemed to see the two-inch long scar on his left cheek, and I got excited along with it.

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