reborn stepfather

"Sir, sir."

A hand gently pushed my shoulder, and I struggled to open my eyes. The darkness in front of me opened a crack, and the light made me squint my eyes. My neck was sore. A woman in a flight attendant uniform bent down to look at Looking at me, with a standard smile on his face: "It's already arrived, sir."

I just noticed that I was sitting on the train, the train had already stopped, and I was the only one left in the car.

why am i on the train

I raised my hand to rub my temples, but I saw that I was wearing a white Dacron shirt, and looking down, there was a white vest inside the open shirt.

What about the suit I wear to the public class?Where's my tie?I... how can I wear such clothes?

Speaking of which... I looked around, there is no air-conditioning in the car, no hanging TV, the windows are pushed up, and you can see the dark green iron sheet when you look out. Isn't this kind of train about to be phased out... ...I looked at the flight attendant, she immediately smiled at me and asked with concern: "Sir, what's wrong with you?"

Frames of images flashed before my eyes very quickly, like too much water poured into a narrow bottle.

Head hurts.

I stared blankly at the intact hands.

Shouldn't I... be dead?

That day, my mother took a stack of photos for a blind date and asked me to give them to my second brother. After I got home, I threw it on the sofa and went back to my room to prepare the lesson plans for the open class tomorrow.

I have been teaching in Nanchuan No. 17 Middle School for [-] years. I have experienced this kind of thing a lot, and I did it smoothly. I finished it almost at dinner time. When I came out rubbing my neck, I saw Chi Qian sitting in the Pull out those photos on the sofa to look at them.

"For a blind date?" He patted those photos on the table expressionlessly.

He is already 20 years old, he was admitted to Ning University, the best university in Yunshi, and he is the president of the student union of the college. He has the unique coldness and alienation of young people on his brows, and he can already feel invisible oppression when he looks at you with his dark eyes. force.

I can't see the innocent and harmless appearance when he was adopted 11 years ago.

I could clearly feel that he was suppressing his anger, but he couldn't figure it out, so I responded with a monosyllable: "Mmm."

He immediately darkened his face, stood up, grabbed his coat, and walked through the living room without saying a word, and then he slammed the door hard.

I stood at the door of the bedroom, a little helpless.

Although I know that he has always disliked my stepfather, this is the first time I have seen him get so angry.

Sighing, I turned around and went back to the room, and hung the suits, shirts and ties that I would wear for class tomorrow on hangers outside the cabinet, so that I could wear them as soon as I woke up.

I cooked the meal silently, and I sat at the table alone and finished eating. The room was very quiet, and the clock was ticking. After eating, I covered the plate and kept the rice cooker on, so that if he came back without eating, Not hungry either.

Since Chi Qian was admitted to university, he never came back except for winter and summer vacations. Although I like quietness, I can't help but feel lonely, but when he comes back from vacation and is busy with part-time work, he only eats dinner together - that's all. Poor, the scene of chatting and having fun during meals at other people's houses has never happened in our house. This child has never liked me since he was a child.

In order to spend more time with him, I used to pick up my briefcase and rush to the nearby vegetable market every time I got off work, buy his favorite dishes and eat with him at home. The students in the school also liked me very much because of this reason, because I never procrastinate, and sometimes I forget to assign my homework when I get anxious.

But Chi Qian didn't talk much at the dinner table. No matter what I said to him, he would just turn his head and watch TV most of the time, and from time to time he said "Oh" as a response.

Later, I also rested my mind, and the relationship between the two continued in such a half-dead manner.

To be honest, when Chi Qian first brought me home from the countryside, I was struggling with myself in my heart, and I didn't know it when I put on my face. Once I looked in the mirror and was taken aback. Is this person with indifferent eyes me?

Chi Qian was born like his mother, Li Qiu. At that time, I was deeply concerned about Li Qiu's betrayal. I wanted to raise the child she had with another man for her. It was like a thorn in my throat. Every time I looked at him , I will move away immediately, because I can't help but look for Li Qiu's shadow on his face.

I admit that I can't forget her, after all, she is the only woman I ever loved.

Later, this child always ran away from home without any warning, as if living with me was unbearable. Every time I saw Chi Qian being sent back by neighbors or the police, I felt frustrated. My wife didn’t love me and other men. I ran away, and adopted a child who was not related to me in a moment of softness, but I couldn’t get the love of the child, and the road to getting a senior title was also long and difficult. I can count my close friends in middle age with one hand.

Pretty boring anyway.

I try to get along well with this child, because without accidents, he may be the one who will bury me after death and sweep my grave in Qingming.I, a big man who doesn’t work hard, went to learn how to cook for him. I even made bento boxes for him every day in elementary and middle schools. The clothes I bought for him were always good brands and washed cleanly. If the school holds a parent-teacher meeting or For the sports meeting, even if I need to find another teacher to substitute for the favor, I will definitely go there, because I don’t want the seat next to him to be empty.

I know that I have no experience in raising children, and I borrowed a lot of books about parenting from the library. I was once bumped into by a female colleague, spread it in the office, and was laughed at for several days. I never yelled at him, let alone Hit him, but why did it become like this?

My best friend Wei Heng said more than once: "Chi Qian is very attached to you."

Tch, who would believe it.

He didn't even call me daddy.

It was getting late, I was lying on the bed after washing and thinking about these things, I felt that I did nothing wrong, I took care of his basic necessities, but why did it still happen?Sometimes I really want to grab his shoulders and growl like Ma Jingtao, why do you hate me so much?I give you food and clothes for you to go to school, what did I do wrong?Running away from home over and over again, why are you so unwilling to live with me?

Although he gradually grew up, became sensible, and never ran away from home again, he was obviously more indifferent because he had learned to hide his emotions with a smile. through.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt angry, and finally the drowsiness I had cultivated was gone. I opened my eyes and began to recite the lines for the next day's class silently.

In the dead of night, I heard a staggering footsteps in the corridor, a muffled sound, something hit the door, the sound of a key, and soon after, the door was opened and slammed roughly, I frowned, I came back so late, this kid ran to where it goes?

With a bang, Chi Qian broke into my bedroom without even knocking on the door. I got up from the bed in surprise, the lights in the room were not turned on, and he was immersed in the night, so I couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Where did you go? Why did you come back so late?" I tried to speak as nicely as possible, "Have you eaten yet? Huh?"

Chiqian walked unsteadily into the room, and the light from another building outside the window leaked in, which only added to the blurred visual effect. As he got closer, I could smell the pungent smell of alcohol on his body. I raised my eyebrows in surprise.

Chi Qian never drank.

His biological father was violent and would beat him and Liqiu when he was drunk, so he swore not to drink alcohol. Only on my birthday, he would drink a small glass of rice wine for me. Toast a glass of wine to the birthday star, and wish a long and happy life in the future.

That was the sweetest moment between me and him.

"Why do you drink so much wine?" I stood up holding my nose, and suddenly there was darkness in front of me. When I looked up, I saw Chiqian's broad chest. He has grown into a tall man, not before holding me timidly The little boy in the hem.

My heart softened a little, so when he suddenly fell on top of me, I didn't push him away, because my body was too heavy, I fell back on the bed again, and turned into a posture of being pressed down by him on my back, and I patted him gently Back: "Chi Qian? Are you uncomfortable?"

He muttered something I didn't catch.

"Get up first, I'm about to be crushed to death by you." His chest was constricted, and his ribs seemed to be bent.

He suddenly looked up at me, a pair of dark colleagues flickered under his sword eyebrows.

"I won't let you marry a woman," he said suddenly.

"what?"

"Don't even think about it!"

Before I figured out what was going on, his face was already close to me, holding the back of my head with one hand, and holding my hands above my head with the other.

Lips that smelled of alcohol pressed against her, moist and soft to the touch.

My head was pounding.

He gnawed at my shoulders and neck like a beast, and the pajamas had been ripped apart.

He suddenly reached into my trousers, and put a finger into some hidden place. I finally regained my sanity, slapped him hard, and kicked him violently with my legs bent. He was overturned by me. , The whole person fell off the bed and knocked his head heavily on the bedside table.

I sat on the bed and gasped for breath.

He propped his elbows on the ground, barely raised his head and glanced at me, probably seeing the disgust in my eyes, he loosened his hands, and fell back to the ground slumped, his eyes were empty and loose.

This is the child I grew up with.

I looked embarrassed, unable to suppress my anger, got up and grabbed the clothes on the hanger and the USB flash drive on the table for lectures, and ran outside.

I changed my clothes in the living room, and there was no movement in the bedroom. He was lying on the ground sprawled as if he was still dead.

I buttoned the last button and said in a voice that he could hear: "Chi Qian, you are already an adult, and I have no obligation to support you. You can move out in the future. I will pay the tuition you have saved. Manage yourself."

He said nothing.

I left, didn't look back, didn't go back for days, and I don't think I'll go back until he finds a new place to live.

I don't know how to face him.

I don't know which link went wrong. I raised him for 11 years, and he actually used this kind of thing to repay me.

What I don't even understand is why the car is coming towards me.

It was noon at that time, and the morning class had just finished, and the street was noisy with people coming and going, and I didn't expect that small-displacement truck would suddenly bump into it.

After the impact, he fell hard on the green belt in the middle of the road, knocked his head on the ground, turned the world upside down, and blacked out in front of his eyes, unable to recover for a long time.The pain that went deep into the bone marrow gripped my nerves, and I almost didn't even have the strength to utter a jjj. My head seemed to be broken, and my limbs might also be broken. Warm blood flowed down and covered my eyelids.

Then I felt a little cold, which made people panic and strange, as if the blood in my body was slowly draining, and gradually, even my consciousness began to become confused.

I can clearly hear the exclamations and screams of the crowd, the honking of the ambulance, the footsteps coming and going, and all the sounds, but I can't move a finger, can't make a sound, can't feel it. A little pain.The heart-wrenching sensations of dying were gone, only the fading sense of hearing remained.

After an unknown amount of time, I heard someone approaching me, and the doctor next to me said wearily, "I'm sorry, we've tried our best."

The person who walked in hoarsely said, "Can I stay here for a while?"

It's Chi Qian.

With sore eyes, he came to see me for the last time.

He sat down, and I heard the dragging of the stool on the floor, and then a dead silence.

"You're always like this..." he finally spoke, with a long cry.

The voice seemed to be right next to my ears, and I could imagine him bending down and hugging me.

"You have so much love for your mother, why are you so ruthless towards me?" He tremblingly said, "You hated me from the very beginning, and you didn't even look at me, so why did you adopt me if you didn't like me? It's because of my mother, right? I know, even if you look at me, it's because you miss your mother, and you use me as a substitute. "

Nonsense, obviously he doesn't want to live with me.

"I used to do all kinds of stupid things to make you look at me more. I thought if I suddenly disappeared, would you be in a hurry? Would you be worried about me? Would you come to me? But I clearly stood Standing in such a conspicuous place, where there are so many people, even Grandma Wang, who is dazzled downstairs, saw me and took me home, but you never came to see me, you never came to see me once... ...Even this time is the same, I waited and waited at home, but I didn't wait for you to come back..."

"You never cared about me. Are you used to going to school today? Did you quarrel with your classmates? Did you do your homework? You never asked me, do you know what I want?" Chi Qian's words were full of pain and despair Like a knife cut in my heart, "You pick me up and raise me like a kitten or puppy, but I'm not a kitten or puppy, I'm satisfied with some high-end canned food every day, I'm human, and I also need you to love me. …”

I wanted to refute him, but I couldn't find any words. I knew in my heart that he was right.

From the beginning to the end, I didn't pay attention to him at all. What I paid attention to was just "being a father"-I was obsessed with being a good father and tried my best to give him a comprehensive life, but I never thought about taking his Feeling.

"Dad... wake up, wake up, I don't want anything, I don't want anything, don't leave me..." He was crying, "Why, why are you Take me back on your own initiative, and then abandon me on your own initiative..."

"I'm obviously the only one..."

I tried desperately to reach out, to wipe the tears rolling down his eyes, but there was nothing I could do.

I couldn't even hook his fingers lightly.

His voice was getting farther and farther away, and I didn't even have time to say sorry to him, and I was about to leave him alone in this world.

Suddenly I heard the sound of Chi Qian getting up, the white cloth from head to toe was lifted off, and I heard the sound of cloth rubbing against each other, as if he had been hugged tightly in his arms, I could even feel his hot tears sinking into my neck.

In this life, the last retrospective of life is that he whispered sadly in my ear.

"Dad, you never hugged me."