reverse roundup

Du Xia said that the house is near the city's CBD area, with well-developed transportation, hardcover inside, and all living facilities, so you can move in with your bags.

Du Xia went to the property to get the keys, helped him move his luggage in, turned on the lights, and gave him the keys.

"You live here first, if you are not used to it, then tell me, and I will find another place for you."

Xi Wen went to the window, opened the curtains, looked down, the lights of the whole city were connected together, tall buildings stood everywhere, and elevated roads criss-crossed. The prosperity of this city that never sleeps.

Xi Wen pressed his forehead against the glass, soaked in the cold. After looking at it for a long time, he was a little dizzy and closed his eyes. "I haven't been back for a long time, and I almost forgot how beautiful it is here."

Du Xia walked to his side, "So beautiful, you were willing to leave?"

Xi Wen moved his face away from the glass, lowered his head and whispered, "Who made me do something wrong, I deserve it."

Du Xia watched him walk back to the living room with his slippers on, his back looked pitiful like an abandoned puppy, with his head drooping.

Xi Wen dragged the suitcase in from the door, spread it out in the center of the living room and began to put things away.

Du Xia sat on the sofa with a cigarette in his mouth and asked, "So what are your plans when you come back this time?"

Sitting on the ground, Xi Wen said while tidying up, "No, I just stayed outside for a long time and felt homesick, so I came back to have a look."

"Then do you still want to go the original way?" Du Xia persuaded him, "Actually, you are indeed quite talented in music. It's not that I praise you because I know you well. I have dealt with so many musicians. Yours The song is really good. It’s not easy to have talent, don’t waste it.”

Xi Wen crossed his legs and straightened out his clothes, "I still like it if I like it. But uncle, I can't write songs anymore."

Du Xia was taken aback for a moment, and didn't feel the ash fell on his hand, "What's going on?"

Xi Wen cleared his throat, "As far as my mother's disease is known, isn't it hereditary? So I have to take medicine to suppress it."

Du Xia's face became serious, "Is this also the reason for quitting smoking and drinking?"

Xi Wen hummed, took out a large pile of well-protected things from the suitcase, and carefully placed them on the ground.

Du Xia's hands trembled, and he pressed more than half of the remaining cigarettes into the ashtray, "Does Feng Tong know?"

"I don't know, I didn't tell her."

"Bullshit!"

Xi Wen was startled by the reprimand, and raised his head to look at him. His eyes were wide open, and the pupils were shining with light, as if they were fragile.

Du Xia stared at him in silence for a long time, then slowly sighed.

God is actually very fair, one thing needs to be exchanged for another.

Xi Wen has been smart since he was a child. He has a vivid memory when he sees things, and has a very fast reaction. When he writes songs, he has a steady stream of inspiration and often has unexpected wonderful melodies, all thanks to that disease.

Illness gave him spirituality, and when he was good, his brain was extremely hyperactive, allowing him to continue to create like a genius.Bad times make him depressed and crazy, empty and weak, and his mind is full of negative and hopeless thoughts.He was constantly torn between these two emotions, and after exhausting his energy, he fell into a long period of depression.

Before the symptoms broke out, he could live like a normal person, and some outrageous behaviors were just as if he was a child and spoiled.

But after going to France, he couldn't do it anymore. He was under too much mental pressure, and he didn't have anyone he knew to support him. He was thrown into a completely unfamiliar environment, wrapped in guilt and self-blame, and his mind was full of the past. thing.

Crying in the middle of the night, unable to even get out of bed during the day, shutting myself up, not knowing how to eat, like a disabled person.

The same is true of his mother. She was regarded as a genius since she was a child, and she started to paint when she was a little older. She was immediately promoted to a very high position. Known as a miracle, the experts used a magnifying glass to explore the clues in her paintings. An oil painting can fetch millions.

But after his father died in an accident, his mother went crazy, and her emotions became extremely extreme and completely uncontrollable.Shopping and eating like crazy, participating in various receptions to seek venting, once climbed to the viaduct in the middle of the night and walked unsteadily, but fortunately was found and rescued.

She drank and smoked heavily and was hardly sober.Occasionally, he also draws, but the paintings under his hands start to become dark, bloody and gloomy, making people creepy.After drinking too much, her hands trembled, and she couldn't hold the paintbrush steadily, so she started screaming and throwing things. She said that there seemed to be something spinning in her mind day and night, and a car was running crazily on the highway.What's interesting is that in those years, the works created by his mother were highly praised by critics, who believed that she had achieved her own leap again.

This situation didn't last long. Once his grandfather came back and found his mother lying in the bathtub with more than a dozen cuts on her hands. If she wasn't unconscious and her hands were trembling and she couldn't hold the knife, she would definitely not be able to save her.

When Xi Wen was 7 years old, he was led by his grandfather to visit his mother once in a mental hospital.They walked in the garden, which was very beautiful, with towering trees on both sides and hydrangea flowers of various colors. His mother took medicine and sat in a wheelchair, with a dazed expression, wearing a white hospital gown, and her slightly curly long black hair flowed softly. Draped over the shoulders, holding a bouquet of eustoma in her hands, she was pushed out to bask in the sun by the nurse. Her skin was so white that it was almost transparent, and she was still as beautiful as a ceramic doll.But the eyes are dull, and there is no response to talking to her, as if living in another world.

Xi Wen missed her very much, hugged her knees and cried, desperately calling for her mother, Feng Qing was also indifferent, and never lowered her head to look at him.

When they entered the hospital building, the wonderful scene in the garden disappeared. He was led by his grandfather and walked through the corridors of the hospital. Nurses came and went in a hurry, and patients in hospital gowns stood stiffly at the door, drooling. , with blank eyes and occasional empty laughter, most of them are skinny, and the irritating smell of disinfectant is flowing in the air.

Xi Wen was dumbfounded. He never knew that such people existed in the world. He was always well protected. What he was most afraid of was sleeping alone after turning off the lights at night.This is the first time he has seen the glamorous opposite of this world, those gloomy, rotten and hopeless lives.

When passing a corner, a woman suddenly flew out and hugged him. Xi Wen screamed in fright. The woman's body clamped him like pliers, her arms blocked his mouth and nose, and her bones strangled him like It was as hard as a cold steel bar, and there was a rancid smell on her body. Her dark and crazy eyes were fixed on him, and there was a bottomless abyss inside.Xi Wen was completely controlled by her and could not move.

Soon a nurse rushed up, broke her arm, and pinned her to the ground.The body hit the floor tiles, making a dull sound, and the woman twisted and struggled under the bodies of those people, making strange screams from her mouth.

Xi Wen inadvertently looked at her open mouth, and was shocked to find that only half of the tongue was left in the woman's mouth, which was said to have been bitten off by herself.

Grandpa took him home. He kept crying on the way and couldn't stop. He felt a sharp pain when the hot water splashed on his back when he took a bath. He turned his head and saw that the woman's sharp nails had scratched bloodstains on his back. .

He sat in the hot water, touched those scars, and thought of the woman's abyss-like eyes and half-tongue mouth.

A strange idea jumped out of the chaotic thoughts in his head, and fear spread from the bottom of his heart, wrapped in vines, biting him tightly and urgently—he was branded by that woman, and he couldn't escape.

Years later, he was in a rented house in France, dripping water all over his body, the bathroom was cold and dark, the glass was smashed by him, blood was dripping from his fist, he looked at himself in the broken mirror, and slowly saw from those eyes Same madness and pathos.

He had always been afraid of going down this road, but it was always inevitable.

The doctor said that Feng Qing's disease was a hereditary disease and she should not have children.

He proposed two ways, drug therapy and spiritual therapy.

Spiritual treatment takes a long time, often fails to work, and it is difficult to find the crux of the problem.From the research point of view, it is generally believed that it is not purely psychological factors, the gray matter of the brain of patients is different from that of ordinary people, that is to say, their onset is doomed from birth, and it is only the difference between early and late.

Drug treatment is immediate, but it is often accompanied by negative effects.Neuroleptic drugs such as lithium salts work well, but the dosage should be controlled.Using too little will have no effect, and using too much will cause dependence. Excessive lithium salt concentration in the blood will not only curb thinking, but also destroy thinking.

Xi Wen wants to avoid the negative emotions of this disease, but also give up the benefits it brings.

So he can't write songs.

He needs to take drugs to suppress himself, become dull, and keep his emotions at a stable level. He loses the ability to perceive the melody of music, and also loses all inspiration. Sentences are incomprehensible.

His choices are really pitiful. While choosing to be normal, he can only move towards mediocrity.

"What are you going to do? Do you want to rest for a while?" Du Xia came over, squatted beside him, and put his hands on the back of his neck, "You can't hide it from Feng Tong forever, after all, she is your last relative gone."

Xi Wen lowered his head, and said calmly, "I'm in good control now, there's no need to let her know and worry. It's useless to worry, it's just one more person beside me moaning and sighing."

"You can't say that." Du Xia disagreed.

Xi Wen raised his head and looked straight at him, "Uncle Xia, were you sad when I told you just now?"

Du Xia was taken aback.

Xi Wen looked away, and said, "Actually, if I don't tell you, nothing will happen if you don't know. But I told you, even if I behave normally, don't you feel like a prick in your heart?" The thorns seem to be particularly blocked? No matter what I do, I seem to be very sad, as if my life is ruined. This is what I can’t stand the most. I can’t stand others looking at me like this. I’m fine, not crazy I didn't kill myself, I'm not that vulnerable."

Du Xia was speechless.

Xi Wen moved away from his hands, and stood up slowly, "I gave up a lot of things to become a normal person, I can't let you still label me, always hold it carefully, like a fragile object , isn’t it meaningless for me to do so much?”

"I really don't have any plans when I come back. I just want to go back to my previous life in a familiar environment. I don't want to affect the people around me just because I'm back."

After listening to him, Du Xia stood up on his knees, as if he was persuaded, "Okay, I respect your idea, if you need anything, just call me, just ask."

"Yeah." Xi Wen smiled brightly, "But I really want to ask you to help me with something."

"Huh? What's the matter?"

Xi Wen suddenly turned his eyes awkwardly, and it was fine when he talked about his own affairs, but he felt a little uncomfortable when he talked about other people's affairs. That matter, the artists of your company."

Du Xia looked at his awkward look with his chest in his arms, thought about it for a while, and then realized, "You mean Shen Qingye?"

Xi Wen breathed a sigh of relief and hummed.

Du Xia's face suddenly pulled down, "He is lawless, won an award, and does not discuss anything with the company."

"You said he came out publicly?"

"Yes." When Du Xia mentioned it now, he was still angry, "He accepted the live broadcast without discussing it with the company, and he didn't review what he said to the agent. As a result, the trouble has reached the point where Yuan Yuan can't come back. The endorsements of several important brands are all yellow."

"Actually, I think you guys didn't handle the photos very well." Xi Wen frowned and said, "I've been separated from him for so long, yet I can still be used by others and become a knife to stab him."

The most disgusting scolding on the Internet is that homosexuals get out of the entertainment industry and demand that all the movies played by Shen Qingye be removed from the shelves, thinking that he is spreading abnormal values ​​and misleading young people, and the photos are turned into posthumous photos by P. Send him threatening letters and shrouds.After several years of hard work, he became penniless because of his sexuality, as if after he liked men, his whole person should not exist.

"Don't you care about those arguments?" Xi Wen asked with a heavy face, a little unhappy, "Based on your previous public relations strength, this shouldn't have happened."

Du Xia pressed his fingers to his lips, and snorted coldly, "To put it bluntly, his financial contract is about to expire, and I think he wants to leave."

Xi Wen was a little taken aback.

Du Xia looked down at him, his eyes were dark and heavy, "he's gotten very close to Mr. Xu of Fengxiang Media recently. I'm a businessman, and I won't do things that don't benefit me. If he really wants to leave, don't I want to leave comfortably. The original record contract he signed could not be fulfilled because of his injury, and he owed a large amount of liquidated damages. It was because of you that I agreed to let him go on another path. The company was ruined With so much money to train him, let him film, and hook him up, he is ungrateful, and he wants to pat his ass and leave when he is famous, it must not be so easy."

"I know you used to have a good relationship with him, but there must be a limit to being a good person. You warmed a frozen snake, but he bit you back. You learned a lesson by doing this kind of thing once, and you should watch it next time." Understood." Du Xia spoke decisively and indifferently, making it clear that he felt that Shen Qingye was hopeless.

"You guys broke the picture?"

Du Xia shook his head, "After all, he is an artist of our company, and the photo is related to you. I won't take action against my own people. But if he wants the company to help him, he has to show something and let me know that he is worth helping. .”

No wonder the emergency response to this public relations incident was so poor, and the manager who was by Shen Qingye's side was so immature. If Shen Qingye wanted to leave, he would be an abandoned child. Not only would the company not help him clarify, but he even wanted to go If a basin of dirty water is poured on him, it is best to force him to have nowhere to go, but to roll back in despair.At that time, the company will be able to renew the contract at a very low price, and then slowly help him clean up.

Shen Qingye has strength, he was born with a face on the big screen, and he can have such a status through the accumulation of film after film.Although it is being scolded miserably now, homosexuality is actually not a big deal. Same-sex marriage has been legalized, but the traditional concepts of the older generation have not been reversed. Some girlfriend fans can't accept it for a while and do extreme things.Shen Qingye has a good relationship with many big directors, and the directors also think highly of him. As long as there is an opportunity to cooperate, he will come back with awards at home and abroad.

The worse he is being scolded now, the more he is being targeted, and if he has a chance to stand up in the future, he can even get a wave of sympathy points.

So Du Xia wasn't in a hurry at all, wishing he could personally add fuel to the fire, so that the fire could burn even more.

Xi Wen has nothing to say.Du Xia's approach is correct, he is a businessman, after all, he puts interests first, not stepping on it, is already the greatest tolerance he has given to Shen Qingye, Xi Wen has no position to ask him to help someone who might betray him.

Du Xia didn't stay for long and left. When he left, he said to Xi Wen, "Go home and have a look when you're free. It doesn't matter if you have a meal."

Xi Wen nodded in agreement.

The author says:

The reason for not mentioning the name of the disease is that I didn't really want to deal with such a professional thing as mental illness in the novel of pure dog blood love, but there is a very important plot that I want to use.There are references for the symptoms of the disease, which are basically fabricated, please Haihan.Thank you~