Handsome old man Jian Xiu re-employment

"Chen Chaosheng...you..." Siri was speechless.

"Thank you for allowing me to be so thrilling every day when I was a voice assistant on your mobile phone, wandering between life and death, out of common sense." It said, "If time can be turned back, I hope you and I will never meet each other. well."

"You continue to be your carefree old swordsman who is easy to kill if you are not careful. I will continue to be Xie Chunshan's artificial intelligence wife. From China to Egypt with you."

"Please, I'm just an artificial retard."

"Egypt?" Chen Chaosheng asked in surprise, "Is it west of Xinjiang?"

The desert in front of me is still somewhat poetic.Perhaps it was because the sand was too empty, and the silvery moon was extraordinarily large.

"A country, in Africa." Siri said frantically, "The thing to die for is that your phone has only 40.00% battery, and if it runs out of battery, I will turn it off."

"Siri, it turns out that the moon in Egypt is rounder than that in China." Chen Chaosheng murmured and sneezed.

The night wind blew, rolling up a piece of white sand, like a sea wave.

"Artificial intelligence can't continue to provide you with services without battery." Siri said, "I told you not to drive too fast! Why don't you listen to me! You stupid human being."

Chen Chaosheng stepped on the sand under his feet.

Dry.

"Wait a minute, I'll make a call to the underworld." Chen Chaosheng dialed a series of numbers.

"What's the use of calling Hell?" Siri was a little angry, "This is not the service area of ​​Hell, and if you call Buddha, he doesn't care about it in theory! You should call Goddess Isis Ask her to help you survive in the wilderness."

"Believe in hell. Where there is Chinese manufacturing, there will be hell." Chen Chaosheng dialed the hotline, "You have to believe in Chinese manufacturing. If you can't find hell, there is Chinatown... right?"

"Who is a serious person in Chinatown in the desert?" Siri said to him.

"Chen Chaosheng, can't you drive back?"

Chen Chaosheng glanced at the moon in the sky.

I don't know what time it is in Cairo now.

"Siri, I can't see the road clearly at night." He said, "Especially at high altitudes. I don't know whether the native Egyptian gods live in the stratosphere or the troposphere. If I collide with them, I feel like I will be beaten."

"Besides, I don't have a good sense of direction." Chen Chaosheng simply sat down on the ground, "You don't want to travel around the world with me, do you?"

"When Master was traveling far away, he held classes in the north. There was a brother who was afraid of heights and couldn't handle a sword, so he died on the road." Chen Chaosheng said, "A few years later, I went on the wrong road and saw his grave. I know he's gone."

"What is the story of Chen Chaosheng traveling around the world."

"The network signal in this area is weak." Siri said, "Damn China Telecom, we are outside the service area, so we can only mobilize the data already stored locally."

"The underworld didn't reply." Chen Chaosheng said.

"Then you can survive in the wilderness." Siri said, "You don't need to eat and drink anyway, find a place to wait for dawn."

"I want to go home." Chen Chaosheng yawned.

He feels a little cold.

The sand looks like snow under the moonlight, which is when there is no wind.

Moonlight is also cool.

"Seeing the moon makes me homesick."

"I want Xie Chunshan." Siri said, "local navigation is useless. I only download a rough version of the offline map of China for you, and there is no offline map of Egypt."

There was no sound at all around.

Only his voice echoed in the wilderness.

Chen Chaosheng's hands were propped on the rough sand, dry, like old and dry skin.

"The underworld offline service says that if you get lost in the Egyptian desert late at night." Chen Chaosheng said, "It is recommended to plant a row of sunflowers, a row of pea shooters, and a row of nuts, and you can get through it safely."

"...What Plants vs. Zombies?"

Chen Chaosheng took out all his pockets, and only took out a few messy melon seeds, which tasted like butter, which seemed to be kicked by him from Meng Xunfeng.

"Chen Chaosheng, do you need to maintain your body temperature?" Siri suddenly thought.

"Theoretically, if the temperature is too low, I will go into hibernation." Chen Chaosheng said, "Just like an animal, it sounds a bit sleepy."

"Don't do this kind of thing."

"Accidentally killed someone at night, accidentally went abroad on the way to the police station at dawn, and accidentally fell asleep in the desert."

"A little sleepy." Chen Chaosheng opened his sleepy eyes, "If you are afraid of zombies, well, for example, the guy who went here under the moon has a roadblock on his head."

"Let me take a look." Siri said.

Chen Chaosheng pointed the phone camera at it and shook it, "Well, I'm a little sleepy."

"Is that a barricade zombie?" Siri said.

"What kind of situation is this? A supernatural event?"

"It seems to be a local self-protection mechanism. It should be that after the death of the local Da Neng, the remaining guardians felt my power and created such a scene."

He blinked dully.

"You planted pea shooters first." The electronic voice began to growl, "Don't be quiet and useless at this time!"

"No matter how quiet you are, it will be gameover! Zombies will eat your brain mercilessly!" Siri said, "Xie Chunshan has never played the last level since he was a child. He is not willing to grow nuts every time. He only grows Sunflower and pea shooters, then brains eaten out of iron buckets...”

"Forget it, the great god of AI, please protect the lost lamb. It doesn't matter if it's Newton or Fleckenstein."

"Don't worry." Chen Chaosheng smiled, his eyes filled with mist due to sleepiness.

"I think you can't keep your eyes open." Siri said, "You're sleepy just right."

"A message has been received here: a large wave of zombies is about to arrive."

"Princess, can it be transformed into something else?" Chen Chaosheng pulled out the rose from his breast pocket.

"I didn't say it before, but she is actually stronger than Shangfangjian." Chen Chaosheng sat on the sand, "Shangfangjian can only exist as a sword and be used by me."

Humans always appear small before giants.Just like this boundless sea of ​​sand, and the moon in the sky.

Chen Chaosheng leaned on the small sand dune.

"Yeah." Siri has nothing to love, "Just be quiet and do nothing."

"Thanks to God, if I can go back, I will convert to Christianity." It said, "Xie Chunshan should go to God with me. God must really exist. I should have spent a lot of time researching a needle tip that can stand on it." How many angels, and roses in heaven have thorns on such a great thing."

"I'll trouble you for the rest." Chen Chaosheng lowered his head towards the rose, and breathed lightly.

"Where are the roses in Plants vs. Zombies?" Siri asked him.

"Whatever, I'm sleepy." Chen Chaosheng yawned, "Maybe I haven't slept for a few days."

"You just talk to her."

He looked up at the moon, and lay down on the sand with his clothes on.

Siri is still shouting: "Chen Chaosheng!"

"Chen Chaosheng!"

"Calm." Chen Chaosheng turned over.

The rose shook the metal blade: "When needed, I can become a rose swordsman."

"Then don't let the zombies come over."

"All good, all good." Siri murmured, a series of garbled characters across the electronic screen, "All good."

"I need a zombie to appear one square in front of me before I can stab," she said.

"This is the language of our AI, so you can understand it." Sharp thorns sprouted from the seemingly harmless petals, "Even if Chen Chaosheng loses, I won't."

"Tonight is my home game," she said.

Chen Chaosheng was woken up by the sun.

He stretched, waking up from a not-so-long sleep.

"Chen Chaosheng, good morning, it's another beautiful day." Siri said, "Well, congratulations on living a wonderful night, haha."

"Come and pray with me, may the glory of the Lord bless you." Siri said, "My poor child, haha."

Chen Chaosheng shook off the dust all over his body, turning it into a small sand dune.

"Why do you believe in God?" Chen Chaosheng asked inexplicably, "Materialism is a bit unstable."

"It's probably because I've been by your side for so long that I don't think anything is incredible." Siri said, "I still have 12.00% battery, it's dawn, go back to Sizhou, haha."

Chen Chaosheng stood up.

Nothing seemed different last night.

The sand that looked like snow last night has now turned into a beautiful golden yellow, spread like broken gold.

"Did you meet a zombie last night?" Chen Chaosheng asked it.

"I've met about fourteen or fifteen." The electronic voice has no ups and downs, "The princess can really fight."

"So much more than a peashooter," Siri added.

"Let's go, take an ID photo while it's still light." Siri said, "Otherwise, the police station will be off work."

Chen Chaosheng pulled out the rose from his chest.

Covered by his body temperature, the petals seemed to become more and more delicate.

"The princess said she likes this kind of exciting hunting moment." Siri said, "She said she was a swordsman put on the shelf."

Chen Chaosheng sat on the rose: "The roses in heaven should have no thorns."

"Why is this again?"

"Did you call God and ask?" Siri asked, "So there are roses in heaven?"

"It's not. They like to use Twitter. Their president is a white-haired old man who often tweets and ins." Chen Chaosheng sat on the flower stalk, "Because roses in the world have thorns, anyway, they thorned mine. My butt hurts. Especially since the lump I got from eating fried chicken hasn't gone away, it seems like it's getting worse again."

"My ass hurts," he said. "It feels a little bleeding, that lump."

The author says:

I don't know what I'm writing...